Song: Universe by EXO

January

You kept hearing a weak voice from afar.

“Hey! Wake up! Are you okay?”

“Nari! Please, wake up! Nari!”

You were almost out of breath as you opened your heavy eyes much to the surprise of the nurse checking in on you that time. You felt your dry mouth and throat, and your arms and legs seemingly not in sync with your body.

The lady panicked, pushing the call button repeatedly to signal the other nurses stationed that night.

Before you knew it, an army of nurses and doctors surrounded you, with the latter checking your vital stats and eyes. You kept a blank face, which was also a reflection of your mind that time.

“Could you tell me your name?” the doctor asked.

You felt a lump on your throat trying to figure out what to say.

You let out a forced smile, then looked intently at the blanket covering your body.

After a few seconds of silence, you looked at the doctor once again.

“I…I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

“You were in a car accident, and were in a coma for a month. I have been looking after you. I am Dr. Song,” he explained with caution.

“And who am I?” you were stuttering.

“Your name is Choi Nari.”

Your head hurt upon hearing those words and your blood pressure shot up that the doctors stopped telling you things any further, despite your pleading.

As you looked at your doctors having a quiet discussion amongst themselves, you felt your eyes getting heavy, with you sleeping once again.

A gentle face was staring at you as you woke up. He went there immediately when he got a call from Dr. Song.

You found yourself blushing with the way he looked at you.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” you were surprised with the way he held your hand.

“I’m okay,” you answered the stranger awkwardly.

He smiled at you gently while caressing your face.

You saw his eyes widen with your question, “Sorry, who are you?”

He looked at Dr. Song and sighed. He rubbed your hand and kissed it, “I’m your boyfriend, Jongin.”

“You are?” you couldn’t help but smile at this handsome man in front of you.

“Do you…remember me?” he looked at you sympathetically, his eyes studying your face carefully.

“I don’t. I’m sorry,” you gave him a stiff smile.

“It’s okay,” he sighed. “Let’s take it slow,” he glanced quickly at Dr. Song, the latter nodding.

After some careful examination, the doctors were able to establish that you can recall your daily routine, your job, but there were some other things that were still muddled in your head.

Jongin visited you every day and would gladly answer whatever questions you have.

He said you’re a screenwriter, a well-established one at that, and he’s a producer. You met in uni but it was only until recently that he had the courage to approach you; when you bumped into each other at this specific event held for your industry.

---------------------------------------------

There were still some things you couldn’t remember, but Dr. Song encouraged you to go home 2 weeks later just so you could be in the company of your family and friends.

As you lived alone in your apartment, Jongin pleaded you stay with him for a while so that he can keep an eye on you despite his busy schedule.

You barely remember anything about Jongin so you kept interviewing him, trying to trigger something in your head.

“How long were we together?” you asked one random day.

“Our relationship is relatively new; we’ve been together 6 months. But we’ve known each other since uni,” he played with your hair while the two of you were watching a movie from his bed, with your head resting on his legs.

“So you’ve liked me for a long time already?” you tried flirting with him.

“I have to admit, yes…” he held you tight while giving you fluttering kisses on your cheeks as the two of continued watching. It was this action movie Jongin had been eager to see but didn’t have the time.

“Why did it take so long, though?” you whispered quietly.

“Hmmm?” he was focused on the movie.

“Why did it take so long for us to be together? If you’ve liked me since uni,” you looked up at him.

“Timing, I guess? I was waiting for the perfect timing,” he gave you a quick kiss on the lips then went back to watching. “!” he was surprised with the movie, the male lead now covered in blood.

There was a slow pain that crawled to your head when you saw that particular scene in the movie.

“Hey! Wake up! Are you okay?”

“Nari! Please, wake up! Nari!”

You immediately sat up and held your head as you felt that particular flashback once again. Jongin caressed your back. “What’s happening, Nari? Are you okay?”

The pain subsided after a few moments of you panting and sweating heavily, “yeah, sorry, I think I need to rest for a while.”

Jongin turned off the TV and helped you lie down, “Go. I’ll watch you,” he held the shaking you in a tight embrace.

---------------------------------------------

Dr. Song allowed you to go back to your work as long as it’s reintroduced to you in moderation.

That afternoon, you started browsing through your emails when there was a particular one that caught your eye.

It was an email from the scrapyard. They said they’re about to dismantle your car and you needed to go there to sign some documents yourself.

Jongin was away that week for filming, and you found yourself with no one to accompany you that day.

Out of curiosity, you proceeded on going to the scrapyard, a bit hesitant at first as you went inside a cab.

“Hi. I got an email last month regarding my car; sorry I wasn’t able to work on it, I got sick,” you gave the staff at the scrapyard the signed form.

“Oh yes, it’s been stuck inside for a month now,” the staff went through his records, “But, Miss Choi, sorry, upon checking we can’t really work on this as the car has a co-owner,” he carefully studied his computer while fixing his eyeglasses.

He was surprised with your reaction, “It has a co-owner?”

The staff responded awkwardly, “Yes…your husband?”

---------------------------------------------

You have been calling Jongin the entire hour after the conversation with the staff but he won’t pick up.

“Is there anyone who’s husband material here…” you kept scrolling through your SNS and your phone for old pictures and messages while inside the cab but everything was wiped out, much like your memory of this supposedly husband that you have.

“Wow, was I such an introvert that I only have these few photos?” you whispered to yourself after seeing that the only pictures on your phone and SNS were recent ones with Jongin.

You went to the city registrar’s office upon the advice of the staff at the scrapyard. Most likely he didn’t believe your narrative that you were in a coma for a month after your accident.

You sat nervously as the female employee compared your ID with the records she had on her files. She tapped her pen while humming as she waited for some documents to be printed right below her desk.

She slid a paper in front of you, “Here is a copy of your marriage certificate, Miss Choi.”

You couldn’t believe your eyes with what you saw.

As you were about to look at the document closer, she put another piece of paper on top of it, “And…here is a copy of your approved application to file for divorce.”

She noticed your jaw dropping. Your hands were shaking as you looked at the two documents, comparing them side by side.

“Are you sure this belongs to me?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Uhhh…yes?” she found your question odd.

The name didn’t ring a bell at all. “Would you mind if I get his number?”

“Who?”

You pointed at the name of the other person who signed, “Oh Sehun?”

---------------------------------------------

No matter how you insisted, the female employee wouldn’t give you his number, but after you showed your medical certificate and some pictures of your accident, she gave his business address instead, saying that it’s the most she can help you with.

So there you were, standing outside this café at a secluded location. You wondered how that type of business would survive being in such a ghost town.

To your surprise, it was huge inside, and bustling with students and professionals alike.

You approached the barista who was busy preparing some orders. She looked flustered when she saw you.

“Hi, I’m here to see Mr. Oh Sehun?”

The barista looked at the young cashier knowingly, and the latter furrowed her eyebrows, “Y-yeah, sure, I-I’ll call him.”

As you appreciated the view outside, you felt someone approaching you from behind.

“Nari?” it was a familiar, deep voice.

You turned around and you felt your body stiffen upon looking at him. You heard your heart thudding loudly, that if it can only rip through you because of how hard it was throbbing, it will.

His lips parted as he saw you and he sighed heavily as he tried to compose himself.

You couldn’t explain your emotions; was it longing? Regret? Sorrow? You couldn’t pinpoint exactly.

You shook your head and cleared your throat, “Uhm, I’m Choi Nari,” you extended a hand.

He wiped his hands with his apron but only looked at your hand and hesitated to take it.

“No need to introduce yourself; I know who you are,” there was awkwardness between the two of you.

“Right. Sorry. Do you mind if I take a seat?” you gestured to the remaining vacant table in his bustling cafe.

“Please, go ahead,” he looked surprised still.

There was silence between the two of you, with him simply observing you the entire time.

You were drawn to his face, and if not for the busy café, you were sure you can stay there sitting while staring at him the entire day.

“Sorry for coming here unannounced. I got your details from the city registrar.”

He was amused with the weirdness of what you just said.

“Please hear me out. I’m not a scammer or anything.”

“Of course, go on, I’m all ears,” he leaned closer as he put his elbows on the table.

“I was involved in some accident, I was asleep for a month, and now I can’t remember a few things. Retrograde amnesia? Something like that,” that was the best you could do with how jumbled your mind was at that moment.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of what happened to you.”

You nodded, “You did? Well, not the full-blown type. I still remember my job, where I live, family and friends, and my daily routine. It’s…a bit weird. The only things I don’t recall would be a few details here and there and the romantic relationships I’ve had, past and present.”

He sighed heavily while looking away.

“The police said I was driving a little over the speed limit and a motorcycle appeared out of nowhere. Good thing nobody was hurt, well aside for me, as I am only left with half of my brain,” you chuckled awkwardly.

“Are you okay now? How are you?” he looked at you intently.

“Yes, I’m much better now. It’s been a month since I got released from the hospital.”

He nodded slowly.

“So…I don’t want to take much of your time, but I went here because I needed you to sign some documents regarding the car.”

“Okay, what about?”

“The car is a total wreck. The scrapyard needs to dismantle it and I need your sign off because you’re the co-owner of the car. B-because you’re my husband, well, ex-husband, sorry, I don’t know if I was really this awkward and clumsy before,” your hands were getting clammy.

“For a time, yeah you were,” you finally saw him smile.

“I just need you to sign some documents,” you pulled out a few papers from an envelope, with some falling on the table.

You looked at him as he crossed his arms while studying you scramble through the documents.

You gave him a weak smile while sliding the papers towards him. “Those above your name, Mr. Oh Sehun?”

He couldn’t help but laugh loudly, rather sarcastically.

“Sorry, why are you laughing?”

“Nothing. The last time we did this was to sign our divorce papers.”

You were silent after hearing his remark.

He stared at you blankly, that you started feeling uncomfortable.

“Pen.”

“Hmmm?”

“I need a pen; this isn’t going to sign all by itself,” he let out a chuckle.

You stopped for a moment then rummaged through your bag, with him looking at you amusingly.

“I have one here, hold on, it’s here somewhere, I’m sure of it.”

He pursed his lips while observing the disorganized you. “I’ll go get a pen, no need for you to go through your bag.”

“No, no, it’s just right here. Oh here you go…” you let out a heavy breath after almost turning your bag upside down.

He gave you a boyish grin, then held your pen. You felt his hand brushing against yours.

You looked at his eyes for a moment and he immediately noticed your staring.

“What?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“Why won’t you let go of the pen?”

You noticed that you still held on to the pen, and his hand was on top of yours, trying to get it.

“Sorry,” you let go of your grip.

His eyes widened a little as he looked at the pen. “How long has this pen been in your bag?”

“I don’t know, why?”

“I was the one who gave you this pen, back in uni. You just kept refilling it. I’m surprised it’s still with you,” he smiled.

“You did? Well, it’s in her pencil case.”

“You still carry around a pencil case?”

“It’s in her bag, so I didn’t remove anything as maybe I’d need to use some of her items there in the future. They said she’s a writer so…you know, I might need…some pens?” you almost grunted at how stupid you sounded just now.

Sehun laughed, “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Why do you refer to yourself in third person?”

“It’s my way of coping; my doctor advised me to do it. If I don’t remember anything I just label it as her memory then try to write it down somewhere. She’s like my alter ego now.”

“So I’m a part of her memory?” he tried indulging your childishness.

“Yeah, somewhat. I don’t know what you did to her that she doesn’t want to remember you,” you surprised yourself with your tactfulness. “Mr. Sehun, again, I’m really sorry, I’m all over the place, could you sign those papers now so I can leave and stop ruining your day?”

He grinned and went through the documents and signed the pages slowly, “You can call me Sehun. That’s how she used to call me.”

“Okay, Sehun,” you almost cringed.

“How’s your memory?” Sehun asked all of a sudden.

“Scattered? Blurred…” was all you managed to say.

“You really don’t remember me?” he was looking at the documents still.

You shook your head.

“How about your boyfriend? Do you remember him?”

“I don’t…how did you know I have a boyfriend?”

“News travels fast,” he smiled while signing the documents. “How do you find him?” it’s his turn to be blunt.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, is he good to you?” he glanced at you quickly.

“Yeah, so far, he is, yeah.”

He smiled and slid the signed documents towards you.

“Did your doctor mention any timeline as to when you’ll be better?” he had a concerned look.

“No, he didn’t. He just said it’ll come naturally, once my mind has fully recovered from the trauma.”

He only nodded.

“Why, is there anything important that I need to know?” you weren’t sure why you’re asking this to your ex-husband.

“Nothing,” he shook his head, “I was only curious.”

You put the documents inside the bag and the both of you stood up.

“I’ll get going now, you seem to have a busy day ahead of you,” you looked around the full cafe. “I have to say, I didn’t expect it’ll be this packed when I saw it from the outside earlier.”

“You were initially against it, actually,” he smiled as he leaned on the counter.

“I was?” you squinted your eyes, trying to recall anything but of course, you couldn’t.

“Yes. You didn’t believe in these kinds of things,” he crossed his arms.

“Things like what?”

“Wanting to start a business like this when we took up something else in uni. You’re the idealistic type. We’re polar opposites.”

“So you’re saying I’m an idealist, and you’re a realist?” you asked candidly.

“Yes, exactly like that.”

“I’m sorry for being too forward, I thought I needed to hear these kinds of things to trigger something in my head.”

He hesitated, but he said it as it is, “You can come to me if you want to learn more about yourself; I don’t mind at all,” his eyes smiled as he looked at you.

You felt differently after hearing those words from him and seeing his crescent eyes, “Yeah, sure.”

You were about to leave but you decided to let it all out, “I have one last question before I go.”

“Go ahead.”

“How long were we together?”

His eyes smiled once again, “Since we were in uni.”

You tried digging your memory for anything. “How long was that?”

“You said ‘one last question’,” he laughed, “But 5 years as boyfriend and girlfriend, then married for 2 years.”

“Then why did we…why am I not with you anymore?”

He paused, then sighed, “You changed, I changed. Basically, that’s it,” he gave you a stiff smile.

“How long has it been, then? Since we separated?”

“You said only one question,” he grinned again.

You tried giving him a charming smile, or, you weren’t really sure if you were charming at all.

“I’m not sure, maybe close to a year?” he answered, pretending he didn’t know the exact count, but he was sure it’s been 9 months.

“I’ve been with Jongin for 6 months. So I dated him right after we broke up?”

“You’ve known each other for a long time, but yeah, something like that…” you felt his uneasiness.

“That was quick…we’ve been together 7 years,” you blurted the first thoughts that formed in your head.

“Sorry?”  he gave you a stiff smile.

“Oh no, don’t mind me. I was just saying random words, that’s all,” you couldn’t fathom how in the world you’re a senior screenwriter with the silliness you’re displaying in front of him.

“Right,” he nodded amusingly.

After seeing his reaction and realizing that you crossed the line with what you just said, “Oh , sorry, that didn’t come out right. I’m really sorry, I’m discovering all these just now.”

“Sure,” he scratched the back of his head.

There was an awkward silence between the two of you.

“Well, I really need to go now. Thank you, Sehun,” you bowed and walked towards the door.

“Wait, Nari,” he held your bag to stop you from going any further.

“Yes?” you turned around to face him.

He shook his head, as if having an internal debate with himself.

“I’m so happy to see you here today.”

You were confused with how you felt. You felt deep yearning for this man. Even more than when you first saw Jongin. But why would you? You were already with a decent guy, and it even seemed like you have kept a civil relationship with your ex.

You couldn’t help but show your confusion, and he may have picked it up as he let go of your bag.

You smiled at him after shaking off the inappropriate emotions you felt just now, and proceeded on walking outside to hail a cab as he looked at you from the window.

You glanced at him one last time before you went inside the car.

While looking away at the view outside, you were surprised with this single tear that fell down your cheek.

You felt overwhelming sadness and depression, and longing for the man you met just now. Why? You didn’t know.

It didn’t take long before you felt more tears streaming down your face.

---------------------------------------------

Jongin had filming that day at a nearby location so you visited him on set.

He was pleasantly surprised when he saw you waving at him, and asked you to follow him in one of the dressing rooms during his break.

“What are you doing here, Nari?” he smiled as he locked the door behind him.

“I just wanted to surprise you, that’s all.”

“Thank you. I think I’m not that tired anymore,” he leaned in slowly and kissed you.

Being with Jongin felt nice; it was so easy to understand why he’s your boyfriend. And you wanted to give her a pat on the back for doing such a good job bagging a guy like him.

“You’re working too hard, you don’t have time for me anymore,” you said as your lips parted.

He gave you a charming smile, “I know, I’m sorry. I need to do this, work hard, so I can set up our future together.”

His words gave you the butterflies.

“I have something to tell you, actually. I needed to talk to you; sorry, you wouldn’t pick up so I decided to talk to you in person,” the tone in the room suddenly changed.

“Yeah? What is it?” he held your hand as the both of you sat down the sofa.

You didn’t know how to tell him because you weren’t sure if it’s a secret that she’s hiding. “Jongin. I don’t know if you’re aware but…I was…married?”

He bit his lip and his eyes widened, “who told you that?”

“The government?” you were awkward once again.

“The what?” he couldn’t hide his confusion.

“Sorry, uhh, I went to the city registrar’s office and I was able to gather a marriage certificate and a divorce decree,” you waited for his reaction, but he only kept quiet, “Were you aware of this?”

“To a certain extent, yes.”

“What is this ‘certain extent’ that you’re talking about?”

He sighed as he clasped his hands in front of him.

“You were married to your college sweetheart,” there was pain in his eyes.

You didn’t want to see Jongin like that, “Sorry, I don’t mean to bring it up so suddenly like this. I just wanted to know.”

“No, it’s okay. The time will come when you’ll know about this anyways,” he continued, “you got divorced because you couldn’t take him anymore.”

“Why? What did he do?” you were careful in asking.

“He changed for the worse when you got married. I believe he started this business and it wasn’t doing good. It simply wasn’t going well between the two of you,” he tried forcing a smile.

“But he had a lot of patrons the other day…” you talked before thinking.

“You went to him?” Jongin’s eyebrows creased as he looked at you.

“I had him sign some documents for the scrapyard—”

“Nari, why? You didn’t even tell me?!” you were startled when he raised his tone.

“I tried calling you but—”

“Don’t ever go near him again. Promise me you won’t do this again, Nari,” Jongin had a serious look on his face and his tone was firm.

“Okay, I won’t. I’m sorry, Jongin. I got too curious.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry I raised my voice,” Jongin sighed and