I was looking outside the window of this airbus, mind going everywhere but reached nowhere.

I heaved a sigh when I was reminded of how I got here, riding this flying machine. I wanted to grab my hair Why did I have to do this? Pwede naman sigurong umuwi sa probinsya at magpaka Juana Tamad kay Lala. Pft napaka impulsive talaga nitong ginagawa ko. 

Mukhang mapapa-gastos pa ata ako sa ginagawa kong 'to napaka unplanned and impulsive lang talaga. I sighed again.

Then I heard a chuckle, nope not a chuckle but a stifled laugh. Yung katabi ko. I think I was groaning loudly na ata for my liking or hers. Sige po laugh at my dilemma lang po pero nakakainis hindi ako makalingon at ayaw ko, nakakahiya. Ano ba naman 'to. Okay understandable I could also laugh at my own dilemma too, this me right now, this situation I'm in right now is just too unimaginable for myself. I think even Vienne or Mahangin would find this me right now laughable. Hindi ko 'to gawain! In their words, "napaka organize at stiff mo to the point na you'd have to plan everything if it's not for me you are lifeless" parang naririnig at na i-imagine ko hanggang dito si Vienne with matching gesture pa. 

Siguro nagda-drama na si Vienne kay mahangin kung saan na ako. Napaka exaggerated pa naman ng mga reactions 'nun hindi pa man din ako nakapag paalam sa kanila. Mahangin ikaw na bahala sa akin.

I should probably just sleep this off. I don't want to think of what I did and how I ended up here. 

Okay self, let's not dwell about how we ended up here instead let's treat this as a vacation we needed. Let's not think of anything we left there, they'll be fine. Hays I always end up talking to myself inside my head but duh who cares, at least I treat myself as if I am talking to a friend, close, super close friend. ENOUGH na nga. Ah basta kaya natin 'to. Aja!  unconsciously throwing a fist in the air as a gesture with a smile, encouraging myself. Pero ... *sighs sana madistract ako sa-

Okayy?? Hindi ko napigilang hindi lumingon sa katabi, e pano ba naman nagpipigil na naman siya ng tawa niya.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I was laughing at myself actually. I was unconsciously counting your sighs, I feel bad. I'm sorry." The lady beside me was rambling, feeling sorry for what she did little did she know I am too, could laugh at myself.

Pero talaga bang naka ilang pagbuntong hininga na ako? Ay ewan. I just smiled at her, "It's okay" then went back to focusing to whatever.

Ano kaya magandang isipin or gawin? Politics? Parang iinit lang ulo ko just thinking about PH politics. Play games? hindi ko pala dala 'yung phone ko. Magazines? tapos ko na at boring. I just want to watch something a movie or series perhaps. I want to rewatch Tinkerbell movies or the MCU movies.

I looked back at the clear sky outside my windows. Hmm siguro ang gulo na talaga ng timeline ng MCU. Pa'no ba naman ang daming ganap, yung paglabag ni Loki sa mga dapat mangyari pero wait, if yung pagka fall ni Loki sa girl variant niya is not supposed to happen and yung mga little journey nila together then who's to say na certain things should and should not happen. I mean what if yung info na andun sa TVA is just an unfinished deets. And yung si Kang, naka-ilang cycle na ba sya ng lifetime ni Loki to say na 'di na niya alam ang susunod na gagawin nila Loki when all of them met at his place? At naka ilang years na siya kakahintay raw? Kasi nga sa tuwing nagkikita sila hanggang doon lang din natatapos. Hmm. Ano ba naman to. Nakakagulo ng isip. Pero iyon din naman ang purpose ng ginawa kong pag-iisip, para ma-distract ako. AGHHHH. Ewan! gusto ko na lang humimlay.

Nag-isip ng ikaka distract para hindi maisip yung "situation" ko kasi nakakasakit isipin pero iyong naisip ko rin ang makapagbibigay ng sakit ng ulo sa puntong ito. Ano ba naman 'to Lord, ang hirap mabuhay na talaga.Okay I think that's an exaggeration, guess credits to Vienne? nahahawa na ako. Lord, hindi po ako nagrereklamo sa binigay mong buhay ha pero parang medyo lang, I mean mga about a fourth of the whole? Baka pagbagsakin mo pa itong eroplanong sakay ko, 'wag naman po sana. Lord, patawad. 

I laughed at my own thoughts, the last line. I was reminded of that song by Bassilyo. And note I was kind of singing it in my head. Lmao. I was laughing silently nang biglang nagsalita yung katabi ko, "umm... err ... A-are you okay?" Asking me carefully. 

I turned to her ang taas naman ng buhok nito, ang puti niya rin, "Oh... umm I-I'm good, I am. I just thought of crazy. Oh I mean... I was thinking about somethng ridiculous." Baka iisipin nitong nasisiraan na ako ng bait. I awkwardly smiled at her.

Ano ba yan pati pagsagot ko weird at bakit may pa wrong grammar? I want to slap my face na talaga. Hoooy ang conyo. Aghh kasalanan mo to Vien.

"Sorry, I just had to ask. Are you really okay? You were sighing countless of times even in the airport and now you were giggling. I didn't mean to snap you out of your thoughts. You seem to enjoy yourself there. Sorry again. Uh, you return to your thoughts, it seems wonderful there." stated the grinning lady in a summer dress na katabi ko. Hmm in fairness she looked pretty specially in her dress, bagay sa kanya.

In my head nag facepalm na ako sa mga iniisip at inaakto ko. Pero pretty!? At mas binigyan ko pa talaga ng pansin yung kahitsuraan niya ngayon kesa sa pagpapahiya ko sa sarili sa harap ng estranghera. At ano raw? "I seem to enjoy my thoughts!?" miss if only you knew what I was thinking buti na lang hindi.

"Uh... don't be sorry, I'm glad you snapped me out of my thoughts if not I'd be a total weirdo and might scare you, for real." napakamot na lang ako sa aking kilay while saying those. Nakakahiya na talaga. Ano kaya naiisip niya sa'kin.

I looked away na lang to avoid her, I'm sure namumula na iyong tenga ko. Bakit naman kasi napabayaan ko yung sarili ko, nagmukha tuloy akong weirdo na dito. Sana matulog na lang muna siya. Ang tagal naman nitong makarating. Lord, palagyan mo naman to ng turbo ay huwag na pala. Patulugin mo na lang siya Lord, yung himbing na himbing. 'Yung tipong kahit sumigaw ka nang sumigaw hindi pa rin yayanig, mga ganun Lord. Natatawa na tuloy ako sa iniisip ko, ang gandang babae tapos gagawin kong tulog mantika, literal. Tapos paano kapag ganun edi natural na tutulo laway diba? Naka sundress, pretty face, fair skin tapos matulog ala tambay na naka inom ng ilang bote ng Red Horse. Pasensya na miss lady in sundress parang ang sama ng iniisip ko.

"Ehemm... Would you mind telling me what you find amusing? I'm sorry, I'm too bored to just look at this magazines or listen to music" said by miss lady in sundress. Napaka angelic pala nito, I like her voice, madalang lang kasi ang babaeng may malalim na register ng boses. Parang ang hinhin niya lang. 

Napahiya na naman ako, ano ba naman 'to."Oh ano... ah I just thought of how crazy the MCU is. I mean the Marvels Cinematic Universe. Umm... do you speak Tagalog?" I asked kasi english nang english at hindi siya mukhang Filipina. 

"Of course I do, silly. I mean oo naman. Did I have the impression na I don't? I'm sorry. It's just medyo sanay ako in speaking English though I've been trying hard naman to speak in straight Tagalog . But I always fail to do so." Mahabang explanation niya. Nag pout pa nga. Mga kalahi pala 'to ni Vien, mga taga conyo nation. At napaka friendly naman ata neto. 

"Ah medyo po. Hindi ko kasi narinig na nagtatagalog ka po. I mean hindi din naman kasi kita sa mukha mo na marunong kang mag tagalog" ang nasabi ko na lang. Ang awkward ko talaga paano ba susuklian itong pagka friendly neto? Act normal Ace! 

"Oh about the Marvels Cinematic Universe pala, I heard about it a lot especially from my err... ex. Based from what I heard from uhh... h-him, yea I totally agree. Napaka complicated na. It involved time travel and the latest was about multiverse? Gosh if that's true then how complicated could that be especially for the people involved, right?" Hala siya napaka informed pala ni miss in lady sundress. Siguro hindi siya nanunood parang nakuha lang niya lahat ng details from her ex. Bakit kaya sila naghiwalay? Ay showbiz lang? Ano ba 'to parang nac-channel ko si Vien sa biyahe. Layuan mo ko bebe neneng.

"Ah opo. Pero in fairness medyo na explain naman nila yung about sa time travel and the multiverse hindi tulad ng ibang movies na madami kang makikitang plot holes. Though there are some naman pero yun na yung napapansin ng mga meticulous people tapos dagdagan pa ng pag-ooverthink" ang nasabi ko na lang. 

"Ohhhh so I guess you're one of them?" tanong niya eyeing me accusingly with matching smirk pa. Hala miss hindi naman ako ganun ka meticulous, dun siguro sa overthinker part tatanggapin ko pa. 

"Hala hindi ah. Nakikita ko lang sa YouTube yung ibang info ko at saka nung ma i-compare ko dun sa Dark series. Ang time travel kasi dun napaka complex, like kailangan mo talagang mag-isip or I think their situation is just complicated because of the time travels they did." e kasi naman yung series na yun sobrang nakakalito lalo na nung first season. Hays kulang na lang magdala ako ng ballpen at papel para makapag take note sa mga happenings. Nakakalito lang 'yung mga scenes pero nakaka-hook.

"Wow you must have watched a lot of series and or movies. I'm more of a book person kasi. Would you recommend me some movies or series to watch? I'm on vacation kasi and I haven't brought that much books. I think I've only brought my favourites. Arghh thinking about it makes me want to kurot myself, nakaka-frustrate na napakakakalimutin ko na." she said sighing and makikita mo talaga yung frustration niya. Siguro bookworm 'to. Hahahaha speaking of bookworm naalala ko tuloy yung bookworm sa Tinkerbell, napaka literal lang. She saw ata na I was giggling at my thoughts nakakunot na yung noo nya.

"Ah sorry, I just thought lang kasi na siguro bookworm ka tapos naalala ko yung sa Tinkerbell, napaka literal kasi ng bookworm doon. At siguro? Medyo madami dami na rin akong napanood, I don't know when to say na madami na, subjective kasi." pag e-explain ko baka masabi pang pinagtatawanan ko siya.

"It's okay. I've only watched High School Musical kasi because they're cute. I've also heard about Ghibli and Disney movies but I was not really into motion picture. Do you mind giving me some recommendations?" pagtatanong niya. I don't mind lady sundress, nakaka excite kasi to give recs on movies at since beginner pa 'to siguro maganda sa kanya yung mga cute movies based na rin sa nakyukyutan talaga siya sa HSM. 

"Oo naman, sure, I don't mind. I'll give you some" pero saan ko pala isusulat. Maghahanap na lang siguro ako ng papel dito, sana meron. I'm sure meron akong ballpen. Ballpen ata pinaka importanteng bagay sa akin when it comes to something related to school. Books? A big no, N to the O. N-O!

"Here, you can just type in my phone. Your recommendations, of course" nagtaka naman ako sa sinabi niya. I mean ano ba iniisip niya? Na realize ko lang na siguro  baka magkaroon ako ng ibang ideya sa ginawa niya. Ang defensive naman ni miss lady in sundress. I mean halata bang I am not straight? 

Pero nowadays you can never really identify anyone naman na and people should not be just defined based on labels and their ual preference, it's up to the person itself. And siguro nakasanayan na niya yang mga ganyanang moves kapag may nanghihingi ng number. Well sa ganda ba naman niya. Ang corny at medyo creepy talaga rin ang mga inaakto ng mga lalaki lalo na sa bar para manghingi ng number ng natitipuhan.

"Though I don't mind you typing in your digits here. So I could ask you for more if ever I'll finish all of your recommendations. Oh I'm sorry, do I seem too forward? Wait what am I thinking? Is it bad if I want to have your number? I don't have someone to give me some recs kasi. People are busy with their lives kasi and my friends are more into reading too, though