A/N: It's supposed to be a one shot, but here's another.

=========
 

It’s nice looking down, but Irene prefers looking up. 

Like waking up in the morning, with the bed’s gravitational pull stronger than usual. Rubbing sleep out of her eyes - and when her vision’s no longer clouded by fuzzy pipe dreams from the night before, she’d look up and towering over her, a certain Son Seungwan greeting her with a warm smile.

Or similar to how Wendy would occasionally come across taller.

Maybe it’s the seating arrangements for interviews, when seated in two rows - the back row often elevated, the chairs at the back way higher? Or when Wendy wore heels, while Irene slips into a more comfortable flats for the day. 

Often it’s the simple moments that counts, like laying in bed, seated on the floor, being just one step below Wendy when climbing up the stairs back to their dorm. 

Irene prefers looking up to Wendy who will always be there - greeting her will a smile, raised brows, wide eyes, loving eyes, concerned eyes. 

The little things that counts. 

Points is, Irene prefers looking up and never looking down. 

Not from the company building’s highest floor, neither from that broadcasting centre who thought it would be a good idea to build  outdoor glass elevators that latches on the side of the entire building, it’s all-around transparent frame providing a view right out onto the streets as it whisks riders up 20 stories high.

Irene tried her luck and shot a glance once, and her acrophobic deeply regrets it.

Irene Bae Joohyun really dislikes looking down. Well, that’s a nicer way of putting it out for everyone to understand her intense fear of heights. 

Speaking about her fear of heights, Irene’s glad that she had levelled up her way throughout the years, slight improvements here and there.

From gliding and zipping through the air to feeling her legs shake as she stare down from a certain height. She really gotta thank Level Up Project for giving her so many opportunities to go beyond her comfort zone. 

In a way, the variety show has helped her grow, understand herself, shape the way she feels, the way she thinks. The many experiences led to new revelations, but that’s a story for another day, maybe she’d keep them to herself for awhile.

_________

Irene figures that her fear of heights stemmed from an incident when she was young. 

Little Joohyun was 5 then and quite the daredevil. Little girl without fear. 

She’d run around with the kids from her neighbourhood, a bruise or a scraped knee was nothing.

Daegu’s largest playground was situated near her house, and the place ended up being her usual hangout spot. With the reputation of being Daegu’s largest playground back then meant the city developers spend all their money and ideas turning the place into every kids’ wonderland. One couldn’t get sick of the place after spending years in the area, there’s always a way to enjoy a few hours fun because a child’s creativity is just that limitless. 

It’s no surprises that the playground wasn’t just huge, there’s a variety and well, of many different heights for all ages to have some fun.

Irene could still remember that uneventful day. Maybe it’s the tv shows, maybe it’s because she wanted to impress the new pretty girl who just moved into the huge house down the street.

Little Joohyun found herself climbing up the biggest rope pyramid in the play park.

“Watch me Sooyeon! I’m going up!”

Feeling overzealous, Irene climbs past the fourth level of the pyramid play structure. Usually, all the kids would find themselves stopping here and make their way to the opening of the tunnel slide that will send them back down through its twists and turns. But little joohyun isn’t like other kids, and there’s somebody to impress this time round! Irene intends to clear all nine levels of the structure and ring that little bell situated at the top.  

“Becareful Hyun! There is no adult looking after us!”, Little Joohyun smirks at the boy who gave up, Soyeon’s concerned cries from down below like music to her ears. 

The little girl continues to make her way up, her little hand grabbing onto each rope tightly, her small legs pushing to her upwards. Every now and then, Joohyun’s little toes finds itself hooked onto the ropes, her hand grips tightly as she settles for a quick break, taking the moment to look down at the new girl’s worried look. 

It’s definitely taking a little longer to reach the top, especially with Joohyun’s small frame. Maybe with an adult’s supervision, the road to the peak would be much easier, faster and definitely safer?

Thinking back. Irene figures that the pyramid from decades ago will never be considered safe according to the safety standards in this day and age, because who in their right mind builds a children play structure with a height equivalent to a 3 story building in Seoul? It’s like that dumb dumb who built the outdoor glass elevator. 

Little Joohyun had her rest and continues upwards, after all she only left with one level, it would only take about about six to eight more calculated climbs. But halfway through, what sounded like a loud bang from a nearby construction site shook the ground, the sound shattering through the sky, reaching the tiny eardrums of little joohyun and giving her small heart a scare. 

The girl jumped, actually, everyone who was close to the sudden noise’s epicentre did. 

Joohyun felt all her grips loosen and her tiny body falling through the ropes. She’d toss and turn in the maze like rope structure until she hit the ground below if not for her struggle to latch onto something. 

It was all too sudden, and when everything came to and abrupt stop, little joohyun found herself trapped upside down, in the middle of the pyramid structure. 

Like a circus acrobat, the little girl had managed to use her legs to hook onto the ropes as she tossed and her way down. Joohyun could feel the burn on her skin, especially behind her knee joint where the skin that is still latching onto the hot dry rope rubbing as she finds herself slipping. 

Joohyun pulls with all the remaining strength in her to prop herself back upright. Instead of taking the slide down, the girl quietly climbs her way back down, more so carefully, taking her time, real afraid of loosing her grip. 

Even though it isn’t as high as when she was up there, before the loud noise shook her every bones, it seems to be way higher than before. So high that it made her heart race, palms and feet sweaty, head dizzy.

Little Joohyun finally made her way down. Silently, the girl slid into the flip flops she had left by the side earlier and made her way home. 

The incident that scars her at the age of 5, the cause of her the acrophobia and phonophobia. It was a real scary experience for a kid. The tears and burns on her skin were stinging and painful, but Joohyun didn’t cry. The girl was strong, have been, will be. 

But all the pain couldn’t compare to when she stopped falling down the pyramid, hanging upside down, and catching sight of little Sooyeon running away in fear. 

Maybe it wasn’t a fear of heights that little Joohyun had developed from that incident. Perhaps it was an underlying fear of abandonment? Perhaps it was the fear of falling, and realising that there isn’t anyone around to catch her. 

_________

Irene finds herself staring into the paranoiac view of the Hong Kong skyline from The Peak’s observation deck. 

It’s high alright, way higher than she’d like. 

But things felt okay?

It wasn’t scary at all?

Irene finds herself mesmerised by the night view before her, the buildings, the lights - like power grids that her intertwined. 

“What are you doing unnie!” The younger girl giggles. 

Irene feels her cheeks warming up in the cold. She had been caught doing a little happy dance, it’s actually more of a hop on the spot. 

“Seulgi-ah, it’s beautiful”

“Yes it is, let’s take some pictures!”

The two girls went on to snap countless photos of one another with Hong Kong’s night skylines as the backdrop.

“Let’s take one together too!”, Irene reminded. 

“Sure!”

_________

“Wow it looks pretty!”, Yeri commented, grabbing the phone and swiping through the hundreds of captures. 

“What a romantic spot for a date! You two must have a lot of fun! The three of us should have joined!”, Sooyoung exclaimed while scrolling through Irene’s phone. 

“The pictures turned out well..” Irene couldn’t help but notice Wendy commenting softly. The younger girl’s stare intense - as if deeply analysing every shot. 

“You three should’ve joined us! Instead y’all decided to go shopping and stuff your face with food!”, Seulgi joked. 

“Yea, our legs are dying from all the walking. Wendy unnie would have loved the view.” Sooyoung replied, lightly elbowing the older girl in question. A tight line formed between the two ends if Wendy’s lips and the girl nudges back at the younger girl. 

Once again, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Irene. 

Wendy passed the phone back to Irene, the two pair of eyes met for a short moment before the younger girl adverted her gaze. Irene held back a frown that was so close to breaking out, a pull in her heart.

Especially upon catching the last photo that Wendy had scrolled to before retuning the phone back, the pretty photo of her and Seulgi taken together at the observation deck from an hour ago. 

Irene reminds herself to talk to Son Seungwan about it. It’s not like there’s a need for Irene to account for anything, but that the silence after from a typically talkative Wendy is just a tat unsettling. 

_________

“Look at Kang Seulgi’s head,”

“Just look at Kang Seukgi’s head”

“Seulgi-ah~ Seulgi-yah~”

The voice so tender, so warm.

“Focus and watch her face for one more time. Now you’re good!”

Irene could recall vividly the instructions that were directed at her that day. The warmth of Seungwan on that chilly day, the tight grip while Irene looped her arms with Wendy’s while they ascend the stairs.

The soothing voice, especially when it reaches out to her in the form of a song, all that had kept her grounded even when they were ascending higher and higher. 

It had been so memorable, Irene never wanted to forget that day. Because it was such a small act of thoughtful kindness from Son Seungwan, yet it made made Irene’s heart race as she revelled in the gentle moment. 

All she could think of was,

Son Seungwan,

Wendy Shon,

The warm hearted and caring girl who went “Unnie”, “Unnie”, “Unnie”, in the many attempts to keep Irene’s mind from wandering recklessly to the fact that they are high up there and that Irene shouldn’t be looking down through gaps. 

Honestly speaking, truthfully professing, swearing under oath - it was really just a flight of stairs. A spiral staircase that just had too many gaps that u reminded the older girl of the rope pyramid that also had many gaps. 

Many gaps she had fallen through.

It’s kinda scary? Sure, it made Irene’s legs weak. But not that scary alright, at least not that scary when compared to other vertical challenges like gliding above the sea back in Thailand. 

But Seungwan was trying so hard to calm the older girls nerve. And so Irene thought it won’t hurt to be pampered just a little, and so, even though Irene was feeling much better halfway up, especially with Wendy’s encouragement, Irene allowed herself to be more vu