I will be honest right now. This is so painful.

I thought that the last few days I'd starting coming to terms with it, but the day finally came. I woke up in time to watch it as soon as it was posted, but I couldn't do it.

I laid in bed until the early afternoon, and I finally sat up and looked at the thumbnail on my computer screen. I set up my recording. If there is one thing I figured would get my most sincere and honest feelings out for them, an MV reaction would be it. 

But as I sat there, I couldn't move my hand to hit play. I knew as soon as it was over, that would be it. That would be all. It would be over. And if you watch my reaction video which is up (I'm Gemini LOVE on youtube, its the video marked MV L.O.V.E reaction) you can see that I'm already crying before the MV actually starts, and once I finally forced myself to hit it, I start sobbing. 

It really hurt, listening to those lyrics and KNOWING that they mean it. They mean every word this time. It's not acting like they are singing to some standin girl. No, they were singing to us. They were singing to you. And me. 

They were telling me that it would be ok and we should all keep moving and one day we'd be able to come back together. But my heart broke more with every word, understanding that they were telling that yes. They had to leave. 

Have you ever understood the phrase, heartbroken? Have you ever really felt like it was falling to pieces in your chest and your body was aching from it? Aching pains?

Thats what this feels like right now to be a LOVE. It feels like all of the pain they eliminated from me for 10 years is coming crashing down at once. And it's breaking my very soul into pieces my body can't contain. 

I know this sounds dramatic, but I can't contain it...

The pain is so much worse than I thought it would be, but I'll wait. No, I'll never be able to forget you as long as I'm breathing.

We will be LOVE W.

LOVE Waiting. Until Spring Comes Once Again, we will wait in March.