THIRD PERSON P.O.V

 

And they tell you that you are lucky, but you're so confused

-Taylor Swift

---

 

24 October 

 

The day has come for Hyejin to show off her talent in the big screen. Today is the first day of the filming of the movie, and she's uncertain on how to feel about it. She walks in the set and greet everyone while making her way to her fitting room with her staff, "Are you nervous?"

She hears her hair stylist, Cha Eun ask, "No, not really? I'm not sure on how to feel to be honest?" her voice coming out more apprehensive than she let. 

Cha Eun doesn't say anything and continue to set up the table. Luckily, these whole film use a set for filming so, there are rooms for the cast to change and makeup. If the shooting location is outdoor space, her staff definitely struggle, "I am sad and feel sorry that I didn't get to you hair for these past few weeks," she hears Cha Eun say in regret. 

"It's okay, you are recovering. You need to prioritise your health first beside, Jin Ae did a really good job on my hair," she eases her, fully understanding of Cha Eun guilt on not capable of doing her work. The fact that they have to constantly travel and her not being there for these past few events had been difficult. There's also no one that willing to replace her job at first, which cause a huge headache for the staff. She almost had to cancel some events but Jin Ae came forward and said she'll do her hair. Hyejin feel grateful everyday that she has such an amazing team with her. 

"Are you ready for your first day at work?" both of them turn to look at the door, seeing Cho Hei come in with rows and rows of outfits. Behind her, Jin Ae and several of other staff are carrying bags and bags of makeups. 

"I don't think I need that many makeup though? My character is very simple this time," Hyejin try to recall if there's an event of her having to wear a heavy makeup but none comes in her mind. Every scene of her requires a very light makeup. They even had a small discussion about this with the assistant director, "Oh, this is actually for the rest of the cast too, there's a fight scene so they will need a lot of help during those scenes so, i offer my team to help out to make the wounds,"

Hyejin nod in understanding which in turn make Jin Ae wink. Hyejin just scoff and head to Cho Hei to change her clothes. The outfit is a very damsel in distress coded. She doesn't know how to explain but for some goddamn reason, there's a corset? Hyejin for some reason almost want to scream and shriek seeing it. Almost. She has more self control than that. She take a deep breathe and wear her outfit calmly, not understanding why she's being dramatic in the first place. She wears high heels for 6 hours straight and bruised her feet before so, this is nothing. 

She comes out and take a seat infront of the mirror to prep her hair and face. Cho Hei of couse would not miss an oppurtunity to compliment her, "Oh my god, Hyejin-ah why you so pretty?" and Hyejin can feel redness creeping up her neck. 

"Just you wait when my makeup touch her, she'll be magical," Hyejin snort at Jin Ae exclaimation and is quick to remind her on how her makeup suppose to be, "I'm suppose to be on a very light makeup unnie, in fact I'm even suppose to look a bit pale, are you sure you can do this job?" 

She raises her eyebrows, judging her makeup artist jokingly which make the women scoff, "Hyejin I work with you way before your debut and I'm the one that makeup you during sincerity so, shut your little mouth and let this unnie do her job," Hyejin laugh and close her eyes to let Jin Ae do her job. She can hears hectic sound outside, a sign of people busy trying to get things in line. Her scene suppose to start at 7 am and she still have around 2 hour to prep herself. 

She once again, feel grateful that they prepare the rooms because she save herself hours of copping up in the saloon at 3 in the morning. It usually is a huge hassle to eeryone when that happen. That's why having a set as a shooting location is a huge benefit, "Have you think what kind of hair you going to have for your comeback?" Cha Eun ask her. 

She hums to herself, "I'm going to decide when we start dicussing in full on what kind of concept we have first, we haven't decide on it yet, they keep on giving ideas in the group chat so, it's hard to make decision there. We going to make decision this upcoming meeting so, I'll let you that time on what kind of hair I'm having," 

No one say anything for a while except for a song that is playing on the background. She thinks about another 20 minutes pass before Jin Ae ask her to open her eyes, "Unnie never fail to amaze me," Hyejin say as she inspects her face in the mirror. Jin Ae gently flick her head, "That's why you don't doubt me,"

Hyejin just grin at the words, "Well, its time for me to work my miracle," Cha Eun say and start to touch her hair. Once again, Hyejin close her eyes and try to stay calm as possible at every pull of her hair. She really hates when her hair has to be touch and she hates it even more that her hair is difficult to work with. She once again stay silence and just let Cha Eun do her work instead, she recites her lines to make sure she doesn't forget it. She's not sure how time flies by but she hears someone knock on the door. 

"Please be on standby in 5 minutes," 

"Okay, we're almost done," Hyejin open her eyes to look carefully at her appearance. Her hair tied up and her face look pale but not too much, just a perfect amount. She loves her team. Hyejin takes a lavander perfume in her bag and spray it on herself before standing up from her seat. She takes her padding coat to wear before walk outside to be with the director. She looks in awe as she scans the set, fully immersed in the built.

There's like a ship, like almost a real ship infront of her instead it just parts of ships like a deck or a cabin. She did hear that they do have a ship built somewhere based on the group chats, the seniors even took a picture of it so, she assumes that the ship is at another place, 'How much those these entire thing cost actually?' she wonders to herself secretly. 

She walks to the director and can see someone talking with him, "Oh, Baekhyun-shi?" she blurts out without thinking. 

Baekhyun turn around in shock at the voice calling his name and release a breathe, "Oh, you surprise me," Hyejin let out a small laugh and walk closer to them. 

"We're going to shoot the scene where you guys speak with each other first, to make sure you guys comfortable first before we're going for a hard scene," the director tell them. Things move quite fast after that as they start to get into position and try not to delay the start of the filming. 

The setting is set to be in a cabin or more like a captain room? There's a study table and several weapons on the walls. Baekhyun stand infront of the table as Hyejin take a step in front of him, "I want Hyejin to walk closer to Baekhyun when she talks so, that some tension happen between them," the director say as he shows Hyejin on how exactly he wants to play the scene. 

"Okay, and maybe Baekhyun can take a step forward to when I did that so, it seems that he wants intimidate me?" Hyejin suggest to the director as they both discuss. 

"I like that, we can act first and then we can see how it goes from there," 

"Okay," 

The staff start to get ready behind the scene and Hyejin take off the her jacket to give it to Woomin. She takes a deep breathe and hear the director shouts, "Action!"

Hyejin look at Baekhyun in frustration, her face all tense as her eyes scan the man in front her, "Do you think you can get away from everything so easy?" 

Baekhyun scoff and he leans back on the desk, "Yet they never be able to catch me, princess," 

Hyejin is sure that the nickname is not in the script but she remains focus and deliver her line as she walks closer to him, "You just like those jerks, taking advantage of others and think so highly of themselves," she grits her teeth saying those lines to show the stressful emotion her character go through. 

The distance between them decrease as Baekhyun take a step closer to her, their body close to each other, "Dont you try to make me be in the same boat as those scumbag," his eyes looks directly into her, challenging her. 

"Try me, I don't think I'm wrong anyway," Hyejin close the distance between and take another small step towards him. Their face inches from each other as Baekhyun look down to look at her and she looks up to get a proper look of him. He stares directly into her eyes, daring her to continue her words, to continue taunting him while she challenges him to proves her wrong. They don't back down at all instead their gazes become more intense. 

Subconciously, Hyejin notices that Baekhyun's eyes dart from her eyes to her lips. She feels like she needs to return the same energy as him but before she could do that she hears the director shout, "Cut! That was nice,"

Both of them immediately take a step back from each other. Both of them turn to look at the director at the same time, "Why don't the both of you come here and monitor?" 

They turn to look at each other and go to the screen to monitor. The scene play perfectly like their discussion and the script then, come the last moment. The stare that they had on their eyes is screaming chemistry. Baekhyun's eyes are challenging hers and none of them want to back down. Their gazes look very intense from the camera angle until his eyes move to her lips, "I really like this part, keep it up. Both of you look good together,"

Hyejin smile at the compliment and turn to Baekhyun. She notices his ears are red and instead of commenting on it, she shows her palm to him; asking for a high-five. He returns the high-five and give a smile to her, "Nice," they both laugh at his comments. 

"We're going to shoots that scene again to have another angle," they both get into position and Hyejin mouth a word to him, "Hwaiting!" he smiles at the encouragement and ready themselves to act again. 

 

......

 

Hyejin get to have the first break for today because she is not required in the scene. Her team is resting and Hyejin finally take a seat to eat. She silently eat her food while reading the script. She's very immerse in her reading and could barely focus on her surrounding, "Hyejin-ah, eat properly. Stop reading the script," 

She hears Woomin scold her. Hyejin pout her lips slightly and put down the script. The rest of the cast is currently practice the fight scenes next door where appararently the ship is so, she is left all alone. She can only wait in boredom and memorise her scripts by herself. She's not a big eater, and only eat in small portion so she finishes her food quite early. She throw her trash to the bin and walk next door by herself. She quietly make her way around the crew to look for the scene. 

"Hyejin-ah!" she turns around to the voice that calls her out and sees Gongmyung calling for her. She walks toward them, seeing them gears up for the scene. For some reason she finds the situation amusing. 

"Are you going to watch us?" Soohyuk ask her. 

"Of course, I've been anticipating for this scene," it's actually just a small fight scene for the start of the movies so, it just a small scale. However, that won't stop Hyejin from looking forward of the scene. She takes a seat that has been provided from the staff next to the director. She monitors some of the previous scene that they had managed to record before. Since it's only the first day, of course there isn't that many scenes that they had but still the shots on the camera look reallt good. 

"How's your first day?" Hyejin jump a little at the interuption and turn around to see Baekhyun peeking at her through her shoulder.

"Now, you surprise me," they both laugh at the reference of that morning. 

"I think I'm the one that has to ask you that though, you have more scenes to shoot than me, how's your first day?" she nudges his side playfully with her elbow. 

Baekhyun let out a yelp and look at her before laugh, "Well, I think I'm okay? It's just the first day and we still have many scene to shoot but everyone is nice," 

Hyejin nod at his words. The atmosphere in the set is very nice and gentle even though, this movie is an action movie. Baekhyun just stay close to her as the rest of the cast are discussing the scenes together which prompt Hyejin to ask, "Aren't you suppose to be involve in this scene?" 

"Not really, they are focusing on Gongmyung solo shoot first and I'm not suppose to be visible on the camera for this scene, we're doing the group after this," 

"Ahh," Hyejin focus back to the rest of the cast, all of them are dicussing and practicing with the stunt actor to get the perfect shot while the main characters are watching from the camera. 'It feels weird,'

"Its feels like I've seen you everywhere nowadays," Hyejin look at Baekhyun, questioning his words. She's not even sure if she understands his words. 

"My intsagram literally filled with people posing like this-" he shows the demonstration which is of course the iconic pose, he even do a little wink and Hyejin end up laughing out loud, a bit too loud. She slaps her palm to and her eyes widen due to loudness of her own voice. Both of them stay frozen for a while looking at each other. Hyejin is the first to break the ice by lightly laughing, making sure her voice is not loud.

Baekhyun laugh along with her while staring at her, his eyes fills with a hint of delight and amusement, "This is your fault," she points her finger at him.

"Me?" he asks, finding it hilarious of the girl reaction. His smile grow a bit brighter at the accusation instead of dimming out.

"The hyung already tease me enough yesterday, now you also have to mention it," she scolds him although, it doesn't look like it all because she has a small smile on her face.

"Really?" and Baekhyun somehow are laughing at the newfound information. That makes her stare at him in incredulousness, she isn't sure what she's feeling when Baekhyun laugh it, "You found it funny?"  

"I somehow cannot imagine it," he says while looking her full of his cheekiness. 

"I even did a pose yesterday," Baekhyun gasp at that, "Ah, what a shame I missed yesterday," 

Hyejin just scoff at his words while Baekhyun still maintain a smile on his face. Some of the staff look at them and safe to say that they don't have to worry about their scene together. The director come to their direction and they greet him together, "It's really nice to see that you guys are close with each other," he says with a huge smile. 

Both of them turn their head to look at each other, wondering in their heads. 'Do they look close?'

......

 

That's how most of the time pass, they act and shoot scenes after scenes for days. The weekend though, Hyejin fly to another country to have a concert. She isn't sure if her feet really even touch any grounds because right after the concert, she's on the van again to go to the airport. She's on an airplane again on her way to another country again. She's preparing herself infront of a mirror again before walking down the red carpet. Oh boy, the reaction when she walks is insane. She swears the flashes of lights on her is more intense than the previous artist. She thank the reporters by bowing a bit before make her way inside. 

She feeks like she's talking everyone at the party because for some reason everyone is talking to her. Some people across the room with a very short weird blonde hair even walk through the sea of crowds around her to have a chat. 'Is this people insane? or I'm in the spotlight right now?'

She could have swear that she sees the light pointed at her at one point. Thankfully, her staff notice her struggles and manage to pull her away by saying something important come up, "You good?" 

She looks at Woomin, her eyes lazily looking at him, "Maybe?" she almost cringe at her answer. 'That sound basic'. She's about to walk away from the corner when someone come close to her, "Miss Hyejin Kwon?" 

Hyejin pull a smile and turn around to look at the voice, "Oh my god, Marc!" she takes the hand offer to her. Right at that moment, she knows whose in front of her. Its the Marc Jacob. The Marc Jacob that pull her into the fashion world. The one that make her become a muse, a muse for the LV. Their relationship run deep especially when he's the one that introduces her to a lot of designers. Before Hyejin make her own way in the fashion, Marc had been the one that noticed her and offered a contract with her. Every LV shows, Marc always stick around Hyejin and show her ropes of fashion. There's Virgil now too, and he's been taking of her as well as Marc. 

"I saw your red carpet look, you make head turns!" he exclaims, looking very excited for her. 

"Yeah, I'm glad for that," a shy smile appear on her face. 

"Virgil told me that LV sales increase because of you, after the outfit have been revealed from whose brand it was. He keeps saying you're a blessing," Hyejin shake her head, trying to appear humble. 

"The dress is truly beautiful, I'm just lucky I'm wearing it, that's all," he clicks his tongue and shake his head, clearly in disagreement. He leans closer to her ears, whispering something to her, "It's because you're wearing it, not the dress wearing you," 

Hyejin take a step back from him and he just winks at her, "You'll wear my clothes too after this, right?" he nudges her. Hyejin laugh and nod, "Make sure you book first and tell LV. Your muse is busy working with your old company," 

This time Marc laugh out loud earning a few looks from other, "I let you know when you wearing my masterpiece, anyway I heard you're really busy? I heard LV is preparing clothes for you left and right and it seems special," Hyejin just shrug, not denying or confirming. She's not sure how further can she talks about the project in publuc because people's everywhere. She is in fear it going to leak somewhere. 

"But yeah, I've been working lately," she tells him. 

"Good to see my muse busy working, she's booked everybody!" Several people including her staffs laugh at it. She's been working alright. 

 

......

 

Hyejin is on call with the members while she's on standby. Jaehee is having her solo debut tomorrow so, they are making some small content with the members. It's a pity she could not be there for her but she manages to buy a flower and have it deliever to the leader with a card wishing for good luck.

"Unnie, don't be nervous and do your best. I also hope that you guys will love the song because it's a really good song, Jaehee unnie Hwaiting!" she says to her phone.

"Okay! Bye! Good luck on your schedule too!" she hears they say before ending the call. There are currently filming some scenes that doesn't require her so, she's standby on the side, waiting for her turn to be call. She also manage to have a small talk wth the staff around her and asking them several questions. They seems stun when she talked with them but they still manage to response to her question.

She doesn't ask them much further because she doesn't want to disturb them working so, she quietly sit on the side watching the shooting. This part of shooting always make her bored and she doesn't want to look rude to the staff so, she tries to pay attention to whatever is going on but of course her mind is travelling. She's thinking of the group upcoming comeback, already thinking of what kind of concept would look great and which songs is going in the album. Their first full album. She works with YG. It's understadable that things a bit late.

She's been writing lyrics whenever she has free time but nothing really stick with her. The words that she wrote feel meaningless and has no impact. None of them have the deliveries that she loves. None of them sounds good to her. When she asks Teddy about their progress on the album, the only response she receives is 'Aren't you busy? Focus on your work.'

She sulks in silent at the response but she tries not to take it to the heart because when she saw him face to face at the studio, he talks with her bout the songs and even took several suggestios.

She has been making beats and scrapping it multiple times at an unhealthy rate these past few days. Even when she opens her the phone keyboard, she just stares at it. Nothing inspiring her, 'Has work really made me lost my mind a little?' she doesn't say it out loud but if she does, her manager probably will be calling the ambulance right on spot because she's never lost her mind.

"Okay, we're moving to another scene!"

And that's a cue that Hyejin is needed in the scene. She walks toward the upcoming scene as the staff move around the place to prep the scene. She has a small talk with the director on how he wants the scene to look before she takes her place after the staff done preparing. 

Hyejin sit on the floor where her scene will be, a scene where she has to look miserable. The other cast is quickly gather next to the director to watch her scene, a habit that everyone on set seems to have. She doesn't exactly understand how it happen but for some reason the when its her scene, there's always been an audience. The staff come up to her and tie a rope around her wrist, "Is it tight?"

Hyejin move her hand slightly to check the security, "Make it tighter, it's a bit loose," she tells him. 

"Are you sure? Your wrist might hurt," Hyejin give a small smile assuring the staff, "It's okay, I've been through worse," 

A small gasp escape the staff lips. Hyejin curiously look at him and can see the staff gaping at her. Hyejin blink her eyes, wondering if she said something wrong because everyone seems to stop in track for a second and no one is moving. They seems petrify. She recalls her words back and gasp, "No, I mean in my previous work. I don't mean in real life! Don't worry," her words seems to bring ease to everyone because all of them start to laugh. 

The staff around laugh at the explaination. She swears she also hears someone sigh in relief at the back. The staff smile at her and tighten the ropes on her wrist, "Okay, ready!"

Hyejin prepare herself to get into emotion as the shooting is about to start, she leans her head on the wet wooden walls next to her,"Everyone standby, action!"

Hyejin release a sigh and blankly stare at the front. She turns her head slightly, a clearer angle for the camera, "This is driving me crazy," she softly say and close her eyes in shows of anger and frustration at the situation that her character in. She can feel her eyes is a bit teary when she opens them and a sound of door open resonate. A sunlight hits her making her eyes squint and she can somehow feel a tear drop on her face.

"Okay, cut! That's nice! Please fix her hair please,"

Hyejin give a small smile and stretch her body a bit. Her staff walk toward her to fix her looks and Cha Eun whisper to her, "When you open your eyes, several people actually gasp," she tells her with a huge smile. 

"Why?" she wonders. 

"Because you're so pretty," she winks at her before walking away. That somehow make Hyejin astonish. 

 

......

 

She's walking with Baekhyun on the deck, just having a small break before the next scene because the staff is setting up the camera, "What are your group doing nowadays?" she asks him, 

"We're touring," he looks at her suspiciously as if asking don't you know this information? She stares at him, "I mean are you guys not preparing for winter album? I think you guys always release a song during these times," he laughs as he gets what she's actually meant to ask. 

"Oh, we're preparing for a winter album, I've been thinking on dyeing my hair for the comeback too," at his words, Hyejin look at his hair. She wonders what colour he will go for, he seems the type to look good any colour though but Hyejin can't deny she loves Baekhyun dark hair. It looks good on him, "Can you dye when you're filming?"

"I'll have to dye it back when I'm filming then," her jaw almost drop at his words. 

"Won't you go bald?" Baekhyun look at her and laugh. He laughs so loud that several staffs stare at him. He even start to touch his stomach in pain of his laugh and Hyejin can't help but to laugh a little along with him. When it seems that his laugh cease, he wipes his eyes a little as tears form around his eyes. 

"Maybe, who knows. What about you? Are your group planning to do anything?" he leans his body against the railing while looking at her.

Hyejin just shrug her shoulder, "We're preparing for a comeback around next year?". Her company is YG. She can't give a definite answer for their comeback but all she can say is they're preparing. 

Baekhyun nod at the answer, "Are you going for a new look for your comeback?" Hyejin ponder at his question. She still unsure of what kind of image she wants to show for the comeback. 

"I'm still not sure, I do kind of want to dye but I'm scared. Aren't you hair hurt when you bleached?" She asks as she walks to stand next to him. She let her elbows rest on the railing and turn her head to look at Baekhyun, wondering what his answer. He doesn't answer though, instead he's looking at her. Intently looking at her. 

"Baekhyun-sshi?" 

"Oh? Hmm. I think my desire to look cool overcome the pain, hmm."

Hyejin stare at him as her head still processing the answer, and then she laughs. She tilts her head and cover while still laughing as if she can't believe what she just heard. She's not even sure what is funny, his awkward answer or his embarassment of his own answer but she just laugh. Baekhyun can't say anything other than staring her who seems to be enjoying his response.

Her eyes curls up like the half moon and her hand covering , perhaps covering in modesty. Her hair that is tied in braid today fall from her shoulder as the laughter keep on coming out from her. He notices that she grips the railing in effort to keep her from crouching on the floor. Baekhyun clear his throat, clearing his mind from his mindless observation. 

When her laughs seems to die down, she can hear him asking, "So, you're not dyeing cause of the pain?"

Hyejin shake her head, denying it, "Not really? Bleach will be great but I love my root a lot and I don't want my hair to become fry. I'm too lazy to care for them," 

"Ahh, I get it,"

"Well, I also have quite a schedule so I don't think dyeing is good for now," 

Baekhyun get what Hyejin is talking about. The constant travelling and filming probably will make her hair colour hard to be maintain if what he hears about Hyejin schedule is true. There's plenty of things that Baekhyun notice when working with Hyejin and one of them is how workaholic the girl is. She constantly ask the director direction and try to improvise part where she thinks can be better. Even during a break time, she still be with the director to dicuss and jots down note on her script to make sure she gets every small detail correct. 

She also makes effort to make sure everyone stay comfortable with her by having a chitchat with them. Sometime, he wonders when exactly she's resting? He finds these entire things very difficult sometime but he can't complain. Not when his co-star also is working hard. It make him want to work even harder and provide a satisfying result to everyone.

"Also, I think my desire to look cool is not enough to overcome the pain of bleaching," and Baekhyun laugh at her teasing. God, this girl. 

 

.....

 

Hyejin walk in the studio with a huge smile as she notices the people in the space, "Oh, Jiyong hyung!". The said man turn his chair around to look at her and give a big smile, "Oh? Hyejinnie is here?" 

She walks toward him and give a side hug as a greeting. She looks around noticing the cigarette packs around the table and sigh, "I thought you're quitting?" she takes the pack and arrange it neatly at the end of the table before taking a seat at the long sofa in the studio. Jiyong or best known as G-dragon just sigh at her, "It's hard."

Hyejin just stare at him, not giving any particular response except that her facial expression is speaking thousands of words. She shakes her head and just take a closer look at what her senior is doing, "Are you making song?" he nods and turn to the front back. Teddy stay silent next to him although, his hands is moving fast. Perhaps editting. A small smirk appear on Hyejin face, "Am I hearing Bigbang next comeback song first?"

Jiyong laugh at her words, "Yeah, so don't you dare leak it," he playfully glare at her which earn a roll of eyes from her. She pouts a bit, "Why are you doing it by yourself? What about others?"

"I just wanna stayback. The other already left well, the older you got the harder it is to stay awake," he sighs and stretch his body. 

"Oh my god, you're old!" the exclaimation make Jiyong click his tongue, "Respect your elder, dummy," Hyejin just laugh at his words. YG don't have that many senior artist anymore that Hyejin can ask advice for except for BigBang. She still remember how difficult it is to write music and compose a song when she's a trainee but she receives a lot of good advice from the seniors especially GD.

He's not the exactly a person that lurk around the trainee side of company a lot but he's been the first person that notices her. He also has kindly introduce to the world of making music. All songs that she wrote so far has been his encouragement. In fact, GD speak highly of her which she guess prompts the CEO to make her a part of the debut team at that time. He never confirms it though so, it just her own speculations. 

"What are you doing here? I thought you'll be busy with shooting a film? I heard it's a collab with SM, Aren't you already busy as it is?" 

His relentless questions almost make Hyejin laugh but she keeps it in because his face look so concern for her that she feels bad, "I just finish shooting for today, thought I'll stay around the studio to write something," she skips saying try to write something. She's not even sure if something will be written by her pen. Both of the man seems to be judging her so badly based on how fast they turn their chair at her direction whose currently laying on the couch. 

"Why don't you just reject the offer? I still don't get how Yang Hyunsuk hyung allow this, he usually stricts with this kind of thing. Do you have something against him or something that he allows you to partake in many projects?" 

"It's just movies, I never participate in any variety show or interviews by myself," she answers him while taking out a small chocolate from her bag and pop it in . Jiyong just scoff, "Still, I heard you're the busiest person in the company right now," 

Hyejin just laugh at his words, "My busy time can't compare to you that is touring endlessly," Jiyong can't exactly retort her words because it's true that BigBang is rarely in Korea nowadays due to their tour. Blaze tour on the other hand is not as pack as theirs so, they do have gap between the shows. All of a sudden, Jiyong move his chair, getting closer to her, "I still think you have something against Hyunsuk hyung but I let it go this time anyway-" he winks while sneaks his hand inside her bag and take the chocolate in it, "Hyung!"

"-Lee Soo Man must be so desperate to have you work with him if he's doing all the proposal to work with you," he says as he pops the chocolate in his mouth and goes back to the monitor to work and edit. Hyejin just pout at him stealing her sweets and sigh, "Why? Are you sad that he's not clinging onto you like he did to me?" that make Jiyong laugh and turn his body to look at her, "You wish, I think everyone in Korea can't imagine where am I if I'm not in YG."

Hyejin nod as she tries to imagine GD still being in SM and she shudders, 'Thank god, that did not happen'. 

As the two producers work, Hyejin take out a small notebook that she has in her bags and grab a pen to write something. Silently, she pulls up her legs and curl at the corner of the sofa. Her pen write couple of words and scrap it again. And again. And again.

 

......

 

The set is very cold nowadays as winter coming up. Hyejin can't stand cold so, she always carries hot packs and padding jackets with her. In the van, there's always a spare padding jacket in case she forgets to bring one. She gets cold easily, too easy that she always seeks out for body temperature if she's depserate enough. Her hands get cold too easily even if she's in aircond so, the members jokingly always ask her hand when they feel hot to put on their face. When she sweats, her hand is literally cold like she's been putting in ice. 

Her condition doesn't go unnotice by the staff. At first, they thought she just feel cold like others. Then, she starts to shiver when the camera is not on her. Then, suddenly she goes missing from the set as the staff can't find her when it turn out she's been bundling up in jackets and blanket at the corner by herself, trying to warming up herself.  The most obvious take was when they realised how many hot packs her staff put on her when preparing for her clothes. They take note, she gets cold easily. 

Even with the struggle of keeping her body temperature normal, she still act and shoot without any complaint. She smiles to everyone and just keep it to herself but today, she has a fight scene to shoot. Just as usual, some of the cast gather around the camera to watch her shoots. Hyejin's face is being fix up by Jin Ae with her assistat next to her. 

"Are you okay?" Jin Ae ask her as she notices the idol hands that keep rubbing in attempt of to radiates heat. 

Hyejin just nod, trying to preserve her voice from talking. Lately, after the concert feel so dry so she tries to speak less to protect from hurting. Jin Ae doesn't loo convincing enough and eyeing her from head to toes. She sighs and move our of the camera for the shooting as she puts her worries aside. Hyejin tilt her head backward and grip her rapier tightly, preparing herself for an intense shot. 

The guy that will fight her give a small smile as an encouragement which she replies with a smile too. She takes a deep breathe and hear, "Action!"

......

Hyejin sits silently on the floor as the wind breezes past her. She senses someone take a seat next to her which make her head turn, "Is your scene done?" 

Soohyuk shake his head, his face is decorate with several scratches and his clothes worn out from the fight scene. Soohyuk stretch his arm upward and turn to her, "We're taking a break. It's already 1 a.m in the morning. Everyone is tired," he yawns as he says the last words. More footseps coming to their directions and she sees that the rest of the cast has decided to join them. Hyejin turn to her right and notice Baekhyun take a place to sit next to her. 

"This movie is so intense," Siwan say as he stretches his body and lean back his arms. 

"But it'll be worth it one day," she hears someone response but head is not really in the place. She's been in dilemma on this and is unsure how to ask them. They've been filming for more than 1 month and she's so grateful for them. It's only right for her to pay the gratitude by Inviting them to their group concert. She already extended her invitation to the Affection team and they have been so excited to attend her shows. They spent months together filming and travelling to China together so, it's natural for her to be close with the team. 

The Hunter team on the other hand, have been moving too fast. The fact that she needs to be in another type of character less 1 month is quite a challenge. Due to this, she extremely thankful for the cast that help her to adjust in the set. They even call her by her character name in their group chat or in the set itself. She wants to express her gratitude and really just invite them to have fun in their finale in Seoul but will they even attend it? They might even had a shooting during those times. 

"Hyejin?" she snaps out of her box and look around, seeing that they're all have gazes at her. 

"Hmm?" 

"Why are you zoning out? Do you have something to say?" Jungmin ask as he stares at her. Carefully, asking her his question. 

"Actually mmhm actually-" she smiles and just blurt it out, "-my group is having a concert in Seoul at 15 December, if you have time please do come," 

All of them start cheering at her words. She rubs her neck at the reaction, a bit overwhelm by the reaction,"Are you inviting us?"

Hyejin nod, "If you have time please do come, I'll be thankful. I send out the tickets in our groupchat with your name if you want to come," they proceed to share their excitement for the concert and even ask questions like, 'is there any merch that they need to bring' or 'should they start buying their merch to wear' and Siwan is like 'I'm buying your lightstick after this,' which earn a laugh from her. 

......

Hyejin is in the van, reading a book. A romance book because why not? She loves love. In book only. The real life is horrible. She just finishes her filming for today and is on her way to the company because she wants to review some files. Her old files. Woomin at first have been against sending her there but Hyejin threaten him by saying that she tells his wife that he bought toys for his twins again, without permission. He grumbles in disastisfaction at Hyejin's tactic and ended up following her order. 

"I really hope, you actually sleep. I don't care if you even sleep in the studio but I want to hear that your eyes is close," Woomin say as he looks at the idol from the side mirror. Hyejin just nod without verbally saying anything; she doesn't wants to promise him to be precise. Once she reaches the company she walks off while saying goodbye and immediately go to the studio level.

She sends a text to Mijoo telling her on what she does today, and ask her in return what does the little girl do to fill up her times. The little girl most likely will answer her texts next morning after she wakes up. Hyejin absentmindedly walk to the studio and have a seat on the long couch. She's been feeling uneasy nowadats whenever she's not in the studio. 

She feels like she's doing absolutely nothing to contribute their upcoming comeback. Back then, she would spend time and write songs, edit them, direct, and even compose the song. Nowadays? She feels like she's not fully participating in the group project. Her feeling doubled when she can't compose any song or beat when she tries to. These days, writing a lyric also become hard for her. It feel like she's not explaining nor expressing properly in her writing which cause her to scrap so many papers and deleted so many notes. It frustrating her to no end as her mind goes blank. 

It feel worse for her when she opens the group chat and realise on how many changes they've made to the song and she had no idea. She feels useless but that's the thing. She's been busy. She's been working and running on schedule. How she suppose to participating in the making of the songs? They still making changes and debating on the songs in the album so, she tries to show her concern less and just give her opinions as usual. Knowing YG, they'll still allow things to change up until last minute so, it'll be fine. Things will be fine. That's what she tells herself.

She lays on the couch and start clicking on the old files that she saved to play some beats that she made back in the early days. When she heard the sounds that she made resonates in the studio, she can feel the whole world still and her existance for once, remain the same. Not the her that work day and night filming or shooting but the her that lives and breathe music. The her that make music.