hey! the last time i pressed the new story button was in 2020... however, my nick jonas of a friend recently got their heart smashed into smithereens so now i'm being forced to stare at a blank screen and come up with redeemable traits about them. i love them, but they really need to get over themself and stop crying over a person who ghosted them for hutao. please pity me and save me from having to watch them divert a conversation about colonel sanders into one about their eternal misery and anguish.

about them:

• does not look like nick jonas whatsoever. actually does not even act like him. in fact, they resemble more like twice's nayeon and sana (or seventeen). mainly fcs girls more often because Women Pretty but is very willing to cater to your facechasing needs (at the expense of at least one reply from you).
• minus side of the world but sleeps in batches of 3 hours so you'll catch them awake no matter how horrible or maintained your schedule is. 
• oa (20) so please be oa too if you're trying to get in their pants... i'm not trying to write an expose thread about them. friends are great too, though! as long as you're not under 16 and/or sensitive to profanities.
• verrrrrry loud. like sometimes they talk just to talk? i do not advise you sending them only a period as a reply but if you ever do, they'd probably write a philosophical paper on how the period came to look like the period and how we as a society progressed into expressing our emotions into a single dot.
• not a gamer ? i think .? they do have an abandoned crk account and a bunch of xr cards on rhythm hive if that's what you're into. 
• they're willing to branch out into your interests if the situation calls for it though. keke. they somehow managed to scam hyperbeam into giving them a free subscription so you can play all of your favorite videos to your heart's content as long as you're willing to sit through their Sent Me to the ER videos and careless whisper instrumentals.

+ TMIs if you're not convinced yet:

• actually very annoying. will send you a link to a remy the rat tapestry on aliexpress and ask to match. 
• will fall in love instantly the moment they see mingyu so do what you will with this info. /hj. maybe /quarter joking. (edit: very much /not joking now. any mingyus seeing this please pm me im begging im tired of hearing them complain)
• willing to walk in shorts and a tshirt in negative degree weather for some doordashed 7/11 juice and WILL tell you every single detail about it.
• genuinely really witty & funny though! hopefully its enough to make up for their lack of good looks. 

that's pretty much it! please contact me asap and get this pile of mush off of my hands. contacts include discord, a deactivated twitter that can be reactivated for you, kkt, and quote unquote, "imessage i am literally so desperate we could carve rocks and throw them at eachother".