No way

   It's not a freeze-frame, but you couldn't tell the difference. And we're not practicing for or participating in the mannequin challenge.

   Thursday afternoon in a high-school cafeteria, dozens of students stop their chatter and horseplay to stare at the table on the far left where I, Im Nayeon, and my friends are seated. 

   No one's breathing or blinking and I kind of wish the ground would accept my surrender because that's it for me. I'm done. My time's up.

   "The did you just say," It Girl, Minatozaki Sana glares me down. She was just walking up when I said the dumbest thing I think anyone has ever said. Ever.

   My throat dries up and my tongue swells. What a completely inappropriate time to go speechless. At my silence, she takes a threatening step forward and Jihyo is up in an instant, getting between us.

   "Hold on," my childhood friend implores, putting her hands up. "... she forgot to take her meds this morning. Her brain is chemically imbalanced at the moment so you'll have to excuse this half-wit." 

   Okay, that's completely rude but it kinda works. Sana looks more pissed than understanding, but she's no longer glaring at me, so, plus.

   "I don't give a what she's not on, you need to apologize right now, Im. Or--"

   I stand so fast that I bump my knee on the table rattling all the trays. Ignoring the pain, I bow until my brow is just above the table and say loud enough for even the people in the back to hear, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that to you, Momo. I didn't mean to say that at all. I'm really, really sorry."

   Everyone's quiet again, waiting for the dance captain to decide whether I fry or go free. I didn't see her reaction before I started to grovel, and now I can't gauge her expression, but she's gotta be mad, right? Or embarrassed at least. Though my ears are the ones changing color at the moment. 

   After a good while, I think she might have just left, but I feel too much attention is still on me and I'm scared to move. 

   How is this my life? How did I get here?

~~~

   Thursdays. Thursdays are the worst. 

   I've grumbled this to Jihyo and Chaeyoung about a million times since we sat down for lunch. And on the millionth and one, Chaeng finally gives in and asks me about it. Jihyo tsks in disapproval. 

   "Why are Thursdays the worst unnie?"

   "Because they're just a reminder that it isn't Friday yet," I whine, admittedly, in an annoying voice, pushing my tray to the side to sink dramatically to the table. I rest my head on my folded arms and groan obnoxiously.

   Jihyo slaps my arm and I jolt up.

   "Ow," I complain, rubbing my arm.

   "Stop being a baby and do it already, or just shut up, Nayeon, please. I'm losing patience."

   I scoff. "You can't lose what you never had," I say, dodging her attempt at another assault.

   "Do what," Chaeyoung asks, twirling her noodles.

   My shoulders stiffen at her question and I avoid eye contact. Jihyo, on the other hand, is all too eager to participate in my misery. 

   "Confess," she says, rolling her eyes like this entire conversation is inconvenient. 

   Rude

   "Wait confess, you mean like to a crush? Im Nayeon likes somebody?" Chaeng asks giddily, leaning over the table.

   "Could you not say that so loud you jerk," I scoff shoving her back some.

   "Oh come on Nayeon unnie, don't be embarrassed."

   "I'm not."

   "Ha," Jihyo interjects, a smug kind of condescension pulling her lips into an annoying smile. "You're right, embarrassment implies that an action has been taken. In your case, no action, no embarrassment as a consequence. Gee, I guess you actually made a smart choice."

   "No one likes a smart ," I grumble, sticking my tongue out at the witch.

   I'm even less hungry than when we sat down. I pick at my food dejected with my elbow on the table, my head resting in my palm.

   Someone walks by at that exact moment and instead of walking past me like any normal teen with their own problems, they stop behind me. I ignore their presence as a chill runs through me at their proximity, but they take a seat on my other side and in a soft, familiar voice ask kindly, "Are you okay?" 

   Now normally, I'd tell this random person to mind their own business and leave me to mine, but I can't for some reason. Maybe because of the delicate tenor in her voice or the genuine concern in the question. But I answer. I turn to face this stranger and reward their consideration with respect. When I lock eyes with Tengeynu High's 7th dance team captain and most pined-after student, Hiria Momo, I freeze. It is like my entire consciousness flees inward and my brain slows its process, to protect me from this impossibility. Hirai Momo is talking to me.

   Chaeng chokes on her coke and Jihyo rubs her back as she sputters and tries to regain her breath. I don't pay them any mind though, even when Momo directs her worried gaze towards them. Instead, I take the opportunity to admire her side profile and try to wrap my head around the idea of what the actual is happening right now. 

   Then without warning, Momo's eyes are back on me, and whatever calm I was even thinking of gathering flies out the window. I open and close my mouth trying to form a response, but I legit don't even remember what she said.

   Someone clears their throat on the other side of the table, but I can't even focus on that. And just when I'm sure Momo will give up and spare herself another second with my weird-, a jolt of pain spikes through my shin and I jump in my seat with a hiss. I whip around to face Jihyo, who's looking at me with wide eyes, trying to send some kind of message. Some unnecessary code to let me know that the girl I've been dreaming of for the last six months is acknowledging my existence, and I should probably do something. Yeah, like I couldn't figure as much out on my own.

   I give her my own eye deal to let her know that she's not giving me new information. Chaeyoung looks between the two of us like we've lost it, before turning to Momo, who for some reason is still sitting by me. But it's no use. I can't do it. I can't meet her eyes again.

   Apparently, Jihyo reads that sad truth in my expression, and hers hardens like she's telling me off. Her jaw ticks as she jerks her head in Momo's direction. And I shake my head subtly but firmly. Jihyo's eyes narrow and I look away, hoping if I just ignore them all then this situation will just resolve itself.

   Hopefully. 

   "Right, so uhh," Chaeyoung breaks the uncomfortable silence glancing between the three of us.

   "Nayeon, are you gonna just sit there like a lump on a stick, or are you gonna answer her question?" Jihyo asks, looking at Momo. 

   At the attention, the blonde dancer shifts her attention from me and a bit of the tension leaves my shoulders. Of course, the moment is as brief as a silent fart, and I'm holding my breath again all too quickly. 

   "Sorry," Momo says, but I still can't look at her. I have no idea why this is happening to me, but for some reason, it's not going away on its own. It's like the more I try to pretend this isn't happening, the more it feels like nothing will happen until I say something.

   "I wasn't trying to pry, it just looked like you… I don't know. Like you needed help."

   I nod in thanks but remain mute. Thankfully, Jihyo's done pushing my limits and remembers she's supposed to be my best friend. "She's fine I'm sure. Thanks for asking, Momo."

   I find the courage to turn towards Momo and nod again to reflect Jihyo's words with action, and it seems to appease her.

   The dancer nods, smiling assuredly before getting to her feet. "That's fine. I just wanted to make you feel better."

   'Then let me on your face,' I think to myself. It comes out of nowhere and is totally inappropriate, but I did have one of those dreams this morning. And the sweet scent of cherry blossoms was coming off her. And that's no excuse but...

   Those glowing innocent eyes blow up to saucers and drops open in complete shock. I blink twice and turn to my friends confused for a second, but Chaeyoung's face holds unrestrained disbelief and Jihyo looks a breath away from jumping the table and bashing my head in. My brain on the other hand short circuits and I have no idea what's going on for half a second before it hits me. 

   I jerk around to find not only Momo still standing there but also kids from the other table looking our way in similar disbelief. I swing my gaze on either side of them to find more tables in the same state. Not only that. I realize it's suddenly entirely too quiet for a high school cafeteria. 

   But surely not everyone heard that, right? I couldn't have possibly said it so loud. So what if a couple of people heard, I'm probably overreacting. I can just apologize and explain to Momo that… I look back to her to find a furious Sana storming towards me with the dance team at her back, bringing along my doom.

   I'm so dead. 

~~~