Yeji was executing all the steps perfectly... until her gaze met Ryujin's, through the mirror.

Yeji, who was about to plant her foot on the chair where seconds before she had been sitting, got distracted and her foot went astray, so she ended up stomping on the floor and almost falling flat on her face. For a couple of heartbeats she gave frantic jerks, eyes wide. She recovered, blinking like an owl blinded by lanterns.

“God!” she heard Ryujin say in the middle of it. “What the hell did I just witness?” she added as Yeji straightened up, approaching her. She sounded worried.

Yeji muttered an “I'm fine” to reassure her. Moments later, she pointed an accusing finger at Ryujin.

“It's your fault!” she exclaimed.

Ryujin's expression went from surprise to questioning to utter confusion in just a second. Yeji couldn't help but laugh at the look on her final face.

“What do you mean mine!?” Ryujin asked, putting hands on hips. “I was over there, calmly, watching you!”

“That's why,” Yeji said, crossing her arms. “Your look made me nervous…”

“But that's the way I always look at you.” Ryujin's confusion was almost palpable.

How to explain to her that since they were, well, together there was a warmth and admiration in her gaze that made Yeji feel like the center of the world, no, of the universe and that the leader didn't know how to handle that feeling? It was embarrassing to put it that way. “But if your first kiss was practically a make-out,” her jocular inner voice pointed out to Yeji, who felt her ears heat up slightly at such a remark.

She shook her head and looked at Ryujin.

“You know it's not that," Yeji told her, now calmer.

Ryujin held her gaze and tilted her head to the side, looking thoughtful. Her eyebrows rose and her cheeks took on a slight reddish hue.

“Oh,” she said quietly. “Well, the only way I'm not going to look at you like that is if I poke my eyes out or close them.” She sounded dead serious.

Yeji still marveled that Ryujin could read what was going on in her mind so easily. Yes, they had been seeing each other's faces so often for years—more often than Yeji saw her mother—but still. No one else picked up on what Yeji was feeling and not saying the way Ryujin was.

One of the many peculiarities that had called Yeji's heart to her, like the gaze falling on that colorful spot on a blank canvas.

“That you would put it in the same magnitude to poke your eyes out or close them is disturbing,” Yeji joked with a smile, knowing Ryujin's sense of humor. “I guess I'll avoid looking at you—”

Ryujin interrupted her with a pout.

“While I practice, while I practice,” Yeji soothed her, her smile growing wider. “Because I love looking at you.”

“Uhm…” Ryujin's blush deepened and she fiddled with her short blond hair.

Yeji let out a chuckle and lifted her hands to gently squeeze Ryujin’s cheeks, warm to the touch.

“Keep looking at me,” Yeji told her. “I won't be distracted anymore, you'll see.” She left a kiss on Ryujin's forehead, something she loved to do.

“Good,” Ryujin murmured when Yeji looked into her eyes again, “because I love to look at you.” The same gaze that made Yeji feel like the Sun, around which orbited the planet that was Ryujin.

It was Yeji's turn to babble incoherently. Ryujin gave her a comforting smile as she squeezed her hands. She returned to her spot, on one of the benches in the practice room, as Yeji rewound the River song.

Said and done, she made no mistake anymore.

~~~

It was hard to avoid the melancholy when she came out of work. Whether it was from the practice room, the recording room, or returning to the building after she finished an episode of Gap of Itzy or something else, Yeji felt the melancholy hovering over her when she got to the dorm. She missed her parents, hearing them welcome her with warm and genuine smiles, and how could she forget the sound of Hongsam and Insam's nails against the marble floor as they ran up to her to her legs! Yeji always longed for that moment, as she knew that setting foot in her home meant feeling a rush of energy, of joy.

In ITZY's bedroom, on the other hand, it was quiet, especially when the five of them arrived there. Generally exhausted, each girl looked for ways to relax. While two occupied the two available bathrooms, the remaining three would fall into the living room armchairs or the shared rooms (except for Ryujin, who had her own) and close their eyes. No one spoke; no one had the energy.

It was what almost happened that day. It had been the full package; vocal practice (hours) and dance sessions (even more hours). Jisu, Yuna and Chaeryeong quietly discussed who would use the bathroom down the room’s hallway. Ryujin and Yeji stayed out of it, the former because she had a bathroom in her room, and the latter because she didn't care if she took a bath a couple of minutes before or after.

Also, while the three girls were talking, shoulder to shoulder, Yeji and Ryujin stayed a couple of steps behind, at which point Yeji would reach for Ryujin's hand to hold it. Ryujin traced circles with her thumb on the back of Yeji's hand, a gesture that left a warm trail that Yeji would think about long after their hands unfortunately parted.

Seeing the dark and cold bedroom made Yeji melancholy. She really wanted to go see her family—

“Well!” Ryujin said cheerfully, turning on the lights. “Does anyone feel like cooking today? Cuz I don't," she continued, shaking out the sofa cushions and rearranging them. “How about two of you go down to the supermarket and get some of those frozen pizzas while the rest of us make, I don't know, tea or something else for this f—for this cold?” She swallowed the bad word rather well, something that made Yeji smile.

Yeji started to protest—they were all tired, and Yeji just wanted to see them get comfortable and enjoy the evening—but the others spoke up, louder than the leader, at the same time.

“I'm in the mood for pizza!” Yuna said, and a twinkle appeared in her big, tired eyes.

“I'll make some chamomile tea,” Jisu reported, heading for the kitchen.

“We left the table a mess, so I'll clean it up,” Chaeryeong said, scowling at the table, which Yeji couldn't see from her position in the short hallway leading to the main room. “Yuna, go wash up.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Yeji just watched them go about their business. They were doing it for her. They knew Yeji wasn't feeling cheerful that particular day, so they had taken the wire Ryujin had thrown them to lighten Yeji’s mood.

“I'll go down for the pizzas,” Ryujin said, picking up her jacket again, “since I suggested it.”

“Ryujin,” Yeji said as Ryujin passed by her side, “it's okay—”

“They all agreed,” Ryujin interrupted her, putting her hand on her shoulder.

Yeji cursed her inability to hide the melancholy. She cursed it a thousand times. “Though if I were able to hide it like the best actress, Ryujin would see through the veil,” she thought, looking into Ryujin's dark eyes, the rest of her face hidden behind the face mask. Yeji didn't know what to make of that fact. On one hand, Ryujin was getting cranky—not with the girls, of course—at the thought of Yeji not being able to go visit her family, and she was indignant, something that didn't happen to Yeji, and it was her that the thing was happening to! On the other hand, Yeji found it touching that Ryujin saw right through her. It reminded her that there was at least one person ready to come to her aid, even if Yeji herself didn't feel it was needed.

Her heart imprinted warmth with each pump, warming Yeji's body. She knew well that almost liquid feeling that coursed through her veins when Ryujin did or said something: love.

“I'll go with you,” Yeji told her firmly, turning back toward the main door.

“What? No,” came Ryujin's voice from behind. She quickly moved to Yeji's side. “You just relax and—”

“I want to go with you, Ryu,” Yeji interrupted her gently, stepping out into the hallway. “Besides, I'll buy some of my favorite snacks.”

“You're so stubborn,” Ryujin muttered, closing the door.

Yeji grabbed her hand.

“No more than you for proposing this venture in the first place. C’mon, let's go.”

Ryujin let out a snort and nodded. Yeji knew that Ryujin wanted her company alone as much as she did.

~~~

“I feel better,” Yeji said as they walked out of the supermarket, carrying bags with pizzas and other things inside. “Seriously.”

The walk alone with Ryujin had lifted her spirit. They had chatted about light things, and Ryujin's way of talking had gotten a chuckle out of Yeji. She loved it when Ryujin blurted out a bad word without realizing it, or how she apologized when she did.

“Wait till you try the pizzas, then,” Ryujin said enthusiastically. “They're the only pizzas of this kind that don't taste like , to my knowledge.”

“Ryujin…”

“There's no better way to put it, Yeji.”

“Hum.”

Back at JYP, they took the elevator to the dorm floor. As soon as the elevator door closed, Yeji spoke.

“Thank you, love.” She put her bags in one hand and scratched her head with the other. “I appreciate everything you do.”

“I feel I must,” Ryujin replied.

Doubts came over Yeji. Was she just as attentive to Ryujin? She wouldn't be having a bad time for whatever reason in secret, would she? Oh! What if she was and Yeji hadn't noticed? How terrible it was—

“Your smile is all the reward I need.”

Yeji stopped thinking frenetically and slowly turned to look at the girl. Ryujin stared straight ahead. She always avoided one's gaze when she said something deep or sentimental. It was because it made her feel awkward, something Yeji deduced long ago.

She had to fight to keep from shedding tears. Gee, she really was a bundle of boiling feelings when it came to Ryujin. Did she really deserve her? This kind girl, who was caring to unsuspected levels but whose personality hid under a layer of subtleties, of small gestures?

“I don't know if I'm doing well with you,” Yeji confessed, feeling the need to say it.

“Mmm?” Ryujin turned to face her. “You convey calmness, security. I know everything is okay if you're around. I sleep peacefully knowing that my leader has an iron will.” Ryujin averted her eyes for a moment before finishing. “You make me happy. You're doin’ perfect.”

Yeji swallowed the lump in and reached over to hold Ryujin tightly in her arms. She remembered then how it all worked—Ryujin watched over her, on the lookout for some slip in Yeji's mood and feelings and, when it occurred, she would jump in to keep Yeji on her feet. And Yeji, at full capacity, would pass on to Ryujin the strength needed to move forward.

It was a symbiotic relationship that had been born that day Ryujin hugged her from behind, when they first met. But it didn't hurt for Yeji to be reminded of it from time to time.

“I love you, Ryujin.” Yeji vocalized muffled words under the face mask, feeling that the knot was too strong to produce sounds. “Agh, I l-love you.”

Ryujin returned the hug with the same intensity and traced circles on her back. She inhaled, and Yeji noticed that shakily.

“I love you, honey,” Ryujin replied. “Stop crying; you know I can't…” her voice trailed off. I can't help crying too, Yeji was sure that was what she was going to say.

Yeji laughed hoarsely and broke away. She wiped away the few tears that had escaped—she was too sentimental that day, dammit!

The elevator door opened, dropping them off on the appropriate floor. The girls straightened up and stepped out into the white hallway.

“I'm hungry,” Ryujin said, sniffling.

Yeji mimicked the action before replying.

“Wasn't this all just a ploy you pulled just because you wanted to eat pizza?” Yeji joked.

Ryujin snorted derisively.

“My name is not Yuna.”

Yeji laughed, satisfied as she remembered something else: she could make jokes like that and Ryujin wouldn't be offended, since Ryujin fully knew that Yeji appreciated her actions with all her heart.

~~~

Yeji wished she could swing her legs on the stool, but the stool wasn't tall enough for her legs to dangl