It was 2 a.m, Heechul had just finished filming and was heading towards the recording studio. Why was he going in the direction of the studio instead of going home? It was indeed a good question to which the answer wasn’t going to be all that smart. Well, he was still a fool.

“Ahhhh, ing , you little son of a-” 

“Hyung, we are here,” Heechul looked up from his phone to his manager at the front seat and then out of the window. He locked his phone while thanking the manager and got out. The chilly night air made him shiver and he ran up towards the building. 

When he entered, he was surprised to see Sungmin there, who waved at him nonchalantly.

“Min-ah, what are you doing here?” Sungmin pulled away the straw he was on from his mouth.

“Recording something,” Heechul nodded in understanding and looked around, rubbing his hands. He didn't know if it was because he was cold or his nerves were getting to him. ”He’s in the boot,” Heechul stared at Sungmin who had a small smile. “We talked for a bit,” 

Sungmin had a perceptive nature but was hard to read. You never knew what he knew and how much he knew, unless you asked him. If Heechul needed someone to keep his secrets, Sungmin was the person to go to. But Heechul felt as the hyung that he couldn’t do it.

"We should catch up later," Heechul stepped forward and Sungmin snorted. The older man wasn't even paying attention anymore. 

"Sure, hyung,"

Heechul opened the door and his ears were filled with Jongwoon's emotional soft voice. He quietly sat on the sofa and watched Jongwoon intently while he was recording. Jongwoon’s engrossed features were captivating. Sometimes Heechul stared at him, when he was completely focused on something, and found it hard to look away. And no matter how many times Jongwoon noticed the stares, he never rejected them. He’d smile either shily or coyly, which in return made Heechul’s mind go haywire. 

Recently Heechul had a lot of opportunities to do so. Jongwoon had been confining in him regarding all the uncertainties he was having because of this comeback. Things with the previous album didn't turn out as planned and the company was expecting even more for this one. All that pressure was unnecessary for one of their senior artists who had brought so much to the success of the company.The situation was frustrating; Heechul wished Jongwoon could perform the music he wanted without stressing. 

Jongwoon opened his eyes and noticed Heechul. His stiff face relaxed and a tired smile appeared on his features. He waved at Heechul and the older man waved back.

“Hyung, I won’t be long,” Heechul gave him a thumbs up and Jongwoon told the engineer to play the music again. 

“Have you heard anything from hyung?” Heechul watched Jongwoon fixedly while he was turning around the meat on the grill and put the cooked pieces on Heechul’s plate. 

“No,” Heechul raised his glass, the alcohol burning his insides pleasantly. “You could just call him, you know that,” he quickly put a piece of meat in his mouth and scowled at the salad Jongwoon had barely eaten. He had noticed that this practice was becoming worse.

“Yeah, I just-” Jongwoon reached for the bottle of soju but Heechul grabbed his wrist. Confused eyes bore at Heechul.

“Eat,” Jongwoon reculantly let go of the bottle and stirred the damned salad for the nth time. “Asking how he’s doing won’t make him feel worse, you know he’d more than happy to hear-”

“That’s not the problem. I’m afraid that if I hear his voice, I’d want to tell him everything, I won’t be able to stop myself,” Heechul filled his own glass and swiftly gulped the alcohol.

Heechul wasn’t Jongwoon’s first choice when it came to sharing his problems - it was Jungsoo. Unfortunately, Jungsoo had been feeling unwell - physically and mentally - which was the sole reason Jongwoon had to find solace in Heechul. If it was about his relationship, Jongwoon went to Heechul, but that was only a recent development. Heechul wasn’t a jealous person by nature, but he did wish at one point for Jongwoon to open more to him when he needed someone to lean on. And now that the opportunity had arrived, Heechul wished to take it back. If Jungsoo had to be ill for Jongwoon to turn to him, Heechul didn’t want it. He’d rather be a second choice.

“I’m I not enough?” Heechul wanted to make the mood lighter, but it came out differently. It sounded desperate. He hoped Jongwoon didn’t notice. 

“Hyung, what are you on about? Of course you are, hyung. You help me so much and I’m always so grateful, what you do for me is incomparable. But hyung-”

“Aish, this brat, why are you so serious about,” Heechul reached out and ruffled Jongwoon’s hair, who slapped his hand away. “I’m just joking, okay. You and your Jungsoo hyung aren’t my priorities,” he wanted to smash his head against the wall. 

If it was possible, Jongwoon wanted to run away from his feelings and thoughts. It was too much. It was so overwhelming. Constantly moving and shifting, never letting him rest. Why did it have to be so hard to turn everything off? He wanted peace.

A warm hand enveloped his and gave it a light squeeze, before resting it on top. Jongwoon realised that the car wasn’t moving as he stirred from his distressed dream. He peaked next to him, the person beside him was settled in a shadow. Soft lights illuminated the person when the car started moving once again. Heechul. 

“Mmm, hyung,” his voice came out hoarse, his throat - dried like a dessert. Jongwoon his lips and shifted in his seat.

“What is it?” Heechul whispered and brushed the side of Jongwoon’s face. “Are you feeling sick? Do you want-” Jongwoon didn’t let him finish as he snuggled closer to Heechul. He was still for a few beats, before enveloping Jongwoon’s back. Heechul gingerly caressed him. “You’re such a lightweight, Jongwoon-ah.”  

The breathing of the man in his arms became even and Heechul moved him a bit, to be in a more comfortable position. He observed his relaxed face and held his hand. Heechul wanted to caress his face, but didn’t want the driver to accidentally see him. He settled on petting his hair for a few moments, thinking of how reckless was Jongwoon with himself. Not eating properly, drinking to soothe his stress. He was always first to help others, but what about himself? Why did he neglect himself? Jongwoon and Jungsoo were going to drive Heechul insane. Prioritising everything and everyone else before themselves - they were really testing his limits.

When Heechul managed to put Jongwoon to bed, he was contemplating whether he didn’t make a mistake by bringing him in his place. The couch had to do it for the night. Jongwoon shifted in the bed, mumbling and kicking the blanket. Heechul observed him in the dim light that came from the corridor. He sat on the edge of the bed and tried pulling the blanket over him. As his eyes travelled from the rising and falling chests to Jongwoon’s face - Heechul couldn’t hold back and reached carefully. 

The skin had toughen up by time and the plumpness of the cheeks that Heechul adored poking was long gone, mature appeal had settled on Jongwoon’s features. Age was treating him nicely. Heechul only wished Jongwoon realised he didn’t need to change himself to fit other people’s ideals. He was already good enough. 

Heechul’s finger tips kept brushing lightly along the warm skin, memorising the lines and curves along. Jongwoon stirred a bit and Heechul pulled his hand away quickly. He watched Jongwoon his lips and smiled a little. Heechul leaned forward and kissed his temple before getting up. He took beddings, something to change in and headed for the living room.

As he exited the room, Heebum softly bumped into him and Heechul lifted him with one hand. 

“Heebum-ah, how do I get out of this mess?”