Dahyun to Momo

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It has been more than 2 years since we broke up and I still don’t know what our break up meant. I know I was a jerk, but I still don’t know why it has to end that way. I thought it can be mended, at least, justified why two people good together have to end things, but then you said because you don’t want the bad things to happen again. But why does it seem like just a few days after the break up you have moved on? Why is there this person with you? Was it really because of that? Were you like that? Did you cheat on me? I still don’t know, I am still asking, I am still looking for crumbs if you really did. And I hate myself for still trying to impress you, even though you still really check on me. I hate myself for not being able to move on. Maybe because no one has come after you, I feel like you’ll only be the person to like me even though we have already cut ties. But this year it has to end.

I don’t want to visit your profile from time to time, we aren’t friends on SNS but I still check. I don’t want to have these sudden impulses to chat you — whether because of something I can give you, a poem, or that I just want to apologize for being a jerk. These aren’t worth our time. Maybe this is really it.

I do, I got over you, but I cannot get over the fact that someone loved me — and now I don’t have that someone.

But have you cheated on me? After all the red flags, and toxicity I know I don’t want to be with you again. But I hope moving on is just as simple as that.

Looking back, you aren’t that big part of my life (or as I tell myself). You didn’t ruin me, you weren’t the one that got away, but it seems that you are the only person who at least liked me. Maybe that is something to be grateful for despite the countless things I wouldn’t want to be in my life again.

This is it. Thank you, I guess this really has to end like this — without me knowing the answers. Without understanding what our break-up meant.