Sooyoung feels like she’s about to faint right now.

She isn’t sure if it’s her nose that’s super sensitive or if it just smells way too strong in here for her liking. She’s even starting to get dizzy.

“ God the scent here is killing me.” Sooyoung says while scratching her nose.

“First time in a flower shop?” The lady behind the counter asks.

Sooyoung hums, “Wouldn’t call it that. First time in an indoor one, I guess.” 

The lady smiles, “I see. Other than our windows being open, maybe we do have to get the ventilation fixed in here!” Sooyoung slightly chuckles at her remark.

When she finishes arranging the bouquet, she immediately hands it to Sooyoung, who indulges in the scent of tulips to drown out the other strong combinations of flowery scents irritating her nose. She forgets she hasn’t paid yet.

“That’s…62 thousand won.” The lady laughs when Sooyoung snaps out of her trance. 

“Right, right, my bad.” She quickly brings out her wallet to pay. 

“Do you mind me asking, who your tulips are for? Or what you’re using them for…?” The seller shyly asks Sooyoung.

“Oh,” she awkwardly coughs, “they’re for my girlfriend. She’s- yeah. My girlfriend.”

Sooyoung hesitantly answers and thanks the seller again. She takes her receipt from her hold but she oddly pulls it back. She tugs it again but the seller’s grip was iron. Sooyoung frowns in confusion and manages to catch a glimpse of the printed text and ink writing for a good three seconds before the lady quickly snatches the receipt away from her hand.

“Oh- uh, hold on- I think it was printed wrong! I’m so sorry-” She leaves before Sooyoung could even have the chance to reply.

“Boss, I think our cashier register is broken!” The lady shouts as she goes into the staff room.

When the seller is out of her line of sight,  Sooyoung pretends to smell the bouquet again to quietly giggle.

‘She did not just put her phone number on my receipt.’ 

The manager is blabbering as he comes out of the staff room along with the lady following behind him, “Why would it be broken? We’ve been using this for years!” 

The lady tries to answer him but stutters when she makes direct eye contact with Sooyoung who was already looking right at her.

“Apologies for the inconvenience ma’am.” He prints the receipt and gives it to her. “I think my employee didn’t get enough sleep today.” He laughs.

“I’m so sorry ma’am!” The lady bows numerous times.

“No no no, it’s totally alright…Hyunjin.” She slightly squints trying to read the nametag on the lady’s shirt. “I’ll be going off now. Thank you!” Sooyoung exits the store with the bouquet, then shuffles the receipt in her pocket and enters her car.

She reminds herself to share this hilarious encounter with the others later. 

 

—————————————————————

“You will not believe what just happened to me back in the flower store.” Sooyoung enters the hallway already laughing, the others confused and slightly terrified with her unusual behavior.

“What’s up?” Jongho asks.

“The cashier lady tried to hit on me by writing her digits on my receipt. I was talking about how these flowers were for Jiwoo and she immediately grabbed it away from me.”

Jongho and his parents share a laugh. “That must have been so embarrassing for her.” His father giggles.

Sooyoung talks with them for a few more minutes before walking to where she was actually headed in the first place. She enters the private room, expecting quietness and peace. She gets greeted by quietness and peace indeed, but a screeching voice shouts at her a few seconds after, causing Sooyoung to flinch and to almost drop her 62 thousand won worth of a flower bouquet.

“Hey!” 

Sooyoung covers one ear due to her other hand being occupied, “It’s eight in the morning!”

“Oh- sorry about that, I thought you were Jongho. I was eating a pack of doritos and he stole it from me. That bastard knew I couldn’t get out of bed and took complete advantage of it.”

Sooyoung sighs and proceeds to attempt hiding the bouquet behind her. “I got you some-”

“Flowers? Of course. You do this almost everyday. I'm not even dead yet.”

“Jiwoo- why would you say that ?!” She whines, and Jiwoo giggles.

“Thank you, Sooyoungie.” She receives the bouquet after Sooyoung finally presents it to her, gently touching the petals, “Tulips are actually my favorite flowers.” she adds.

In the most monotonous voice, and with an obvious hint of sarcasm, Sooyoung replies, “Wow. I totally didn’t know that.” She lost count of how many times she already said this to her. 

Jiwoo slaps her arm, “I hate you.” 

Sooyoung laughs and asks Jiwoo to move over so she would have space to sit down next to her. “Do you mind me sharing an anecdote from the flower shop earlier?”

“Yes.” Jiwoo deadpans and rolls her eyes, yet her voice screams politeness, filled with what Sooyoung sees as cuteness, like she was sparkling. 

“Anyways,” She doesn’t listen and continues to share what occured at the place hours ago. 

Jiwoo laughs. In fact, she laughs so hard she starts coughing too much and Sooyoung can’t help but cackle at her while giving her water to drink. Sooyoung always denies it, but Jiwoo keeps telling others that the way her girlfriend shares her stories is so hilarious that she could actually pass as a comedian. 

“It’s a hidden talent!” Jiwoo exclaims.

Sooyoung chuckles, “Then people won’t take me seriously anymore!” 

Jiwoo gets discharged from the hospital tomorrow. Her girlfriend was even much more excited than her. Sooyoung doesn’t think she’ll ever forget that day.

“This was supposed to be happy, not sentimental!” Jinsoul reaches out for tissues to wipe her tears. 

It’s been three hours since Jiwoo’s surgery started. It’s also been three hours of the trio talking on facetime. They’re still talking when Sooyoung receives a text notification from Jiwoo’s father, 

“It’s finished. Where are you?” 

She quickly excuses herself, leaving their call, and sprints back to the waiting area, the doctors still talking to the family. Everyone’s expressions were unreadable, making Sooyoung unsure if the surgery went well or not.

“I’m sorry, was kinda far from the room.” She exhales and the doctors simply nod at her.

“Well, the surgery was a success. No complications occurred and it went surprisingly smoothly.”

“Does that mean she’s okay?” Sooyoung asks.

“As mentioned pre-surgery, we’re not a hundred percent sure if she’ll wake up. For now, we’ll need to keep her confined in order to monitor her vitals again.”

“Oh…”

“I advise all of you to get back to the room and have some rest. We’ll be transferring Jiwoo back there after a few check-ups. Thank you.” The doctors leave after.

Everyone’s just there.

They’re all standing still, the finished event still taking its time to sink into their heads. The emotions are totally mixed up, half of them in relief, while the other half is still wondering if Jiwoo will ever wake up.

“So if she doesn’t wake…then she’s gone? Just like that?” Jongho’s one breath from crumbling down again. His mother quickly consoles him.

Sooyoung can’t speak. She honestly doesn’t know what to say and to think. 

“Let’s all go to the room and wait for Jiwoo to get transferred there first, alright? What matters is the surgery went well.” The father says, and everyone finally gets in composure.

Jiwoo looked like how she usually looks. It was harder for Sooyoung to guess if she would wake up or not. Her eyes were obviously closed. She carefully ran her thumb across Jiwoo’s cheek. The parents were already sleeping, leaving her and Jongho staring at Jiwoo. The two weren’t drowsy at all, too restless to fall asleep.

On the left side of Jiwoo’s bed, Jongho was sitting on a chair, his arms resting on the space left on the mattress. He transferred his gaze to Sooyoung, whose eyes were still locked on her, but she could feel the weight of his stare. 

“Why?”

“You aren’t tired?” He genuinely questions.

She chuckles, “Of what, exactly?”

“This. Everything.” He also chuckles. Jongho takes a deep breath before speaking again,

“In most scenarios, it’s either the lover is exhausted so they’d leave the sick loved one, or the lover would say that they never get tired because they ‘really love the person’ and stay with them until the end. But what if it was both, you know? What if they were so exhausted although they couldn’t bring themselves to leave because they love the person so much?”

“It depends on what kind of exhausted you’re referring to.” Sooyoung answers. 

“Well, wouldn’t it be exhaustion from taking care of the person they love?”

“That’s one thing. The other is exhaustion from loving the person.” Sooyoung turns to look at Jongho. He looked astounded.

“I have no idea how I didn’t think of that possibility.” He laughs.

“I’m tired of the situation we’re in, Jongho. I’m not tired of her .” Sooyoung emphasizes, “We may be exhausted, but it’s worth it. Especially now that Jiwoo too, desperately wants to survive herself. We’re all working hard to help her. We all want this.” 

“That’s true...” He agrees.

“You should get to sleep, I’ll watch her anyway.” Sooyoung laughs as Jongho yawns.

“Thanks, Sooyoung. Thank you for everything.” 

—————————————————————

Sooyoung stirs awake the next day, it was extremely off for her to wake up so early in the morning without an alarm. It was seven in the morning, everyone else was still asleep, except for Mrs. Kim, who she sees making coffee. 

She gets off the small couch, glancing at Jiwoo before greeting her mother. Mrs. Kim offers her a cup of coffee, to which Sooyoung eagerly accepts.

“The hospital room became our home.” Mrs. Kim laughs.

Sooyoung giggles, “Indeed, we even brought one of your coffee makers from the bakery.” 

They continue to talk, sitting in front of each other at the folded table. The others eventually wake too. Mr. Kim makes himself a cup of tea, while Jongho leaves, headed to the hospital cafeteria to buy breakfast for all of them.

It’s been months that they’ve lived like this, Jiwoo’s parents going back to Cheong-sam to check on their family businesses and to clean their home, Sooyoung also goes to her home to clean, passing by and visiting the office every time she does. Jongho’s on summer vacation, so he got to stay with them longer. 

Yet it still feels so new every time Sooyoung wakes up. She still hasn’t been used to such a lifestyle. She lived by herself and didn’t have many friends back then, her only routine was going to work, visiting the park, and going home. Sooyoung never imagined her life to turn out like this, being apart of a family, and loving a person who dearly reciprocates her feelings. 

Though this life comforts her in such a way she can’t seem to explain. It’s new yet she feels safe. She’s thankful that she’s got people to be with, a family to love. Sooyoung knows she’s done something right for once, and she’s glad that she’s chosen to change. 

They’re all eating breakfast peacefully as they watch the morning news channel on the television, when Jiwoo’s father abruptly stands up from his seat in shock, making everyone flinch. 

“Her eyes are open…” The one phrase is enough to make the whole family run to Jiwoo’s bed looking like famished ants who finally found a crumb of leftover food on the ground. 

Her eyes were indeed open. 

One of them aggressively presses the button that called the doctors, and they arrive after a minute or two. The nurses write her vitals down while the doctors check her breathing, her eyes, ears, and everything else Sooyoung couldn’t see. There were so many people surrounding her bed.

Jiwoo looked lost, she looked as if she was trying to comprehend what was going on. She wasn’t speaking. 

The doctors leave them once they’re done, and the whole family can’t help but stare at her cautiously as she just quietly stays seated on her bed. They’ve always been told to talk only if she talked first, so they’re all waiting. Sooyoung just knows all of them piercing glares into her soul would make her even more confused and scared, so she calmly stands up, and casually stacks all the dishes they ate from breakfast, like Jiwoo wasn’t there. Fortunately, everyone else gets the signal, and they all go back to talking with each other.

Of course, they do this with a few glances at Jiwoo, seeing if she’ll finally understand and remember what was going on. 

Sooyoung’s been looking for her chapstick since last week. A perfect situation she can use right now. She searches for it, and attempts to stand near Jiwoo’s bed, opening and closing the drawers. 

“Hey.” Sooyoung hears her whisper and she looks up to see Jiwoo staring right at her. She manages to hide her own shock from Jiwoo and raises her eyebrows.

“Why is no one talking to me? Why are you not talking to me? What happened to you during my surgery? What happened to ME during surgery?” Jiwoo genuinely wanted to know everything she missed. Sooyoung wants to cry and laugh at the same time. She’s awake.

“Why don’t you let me hug you first?” She stands up and gently embraces Jiwoo, running her hands through her hair and giggling hard when she hugs her back so tightly that Sooyoung has a hard time breathing.

The family instinctively walks over to them as well. When Sooyoung lets go, Jiwoo’s lower lip begins to wobble, “God, I thought I turned into a ghost after the doctors left. None of you were noticing me-“ She sniffs, and then full-on cries. 

The three immediately hug her, a dissonance of ugly cries in unison, making Sooyoung laugh. 

And Sooyoung never found her missing chapstick after that. 

She feels her cheek repeatedly getting tapped. Sooyoung realizes she’d been zoning out for too long.

“You aren’t listening to me.” Jiwoo snickers.

Sooyoung lies, “I was!” And Jiwoo rolls her eyes, not believing her in the slightest.

“I was asking if we could visit the flower shop you went to earlier when I get discharged tomorrow! We could even visit more after.”

“But I just bought you flowers-”

“ And? ” Jiwoo tries to hold in her laughter from Sooyoung’s reaction. She made a face that was seemingly displeased, and offended.

“Do you not like the tulips I gave you?” 

“Of course I do! I simply want to check the store out, if I come across something I’d like then I’ll most probably buy a couple too. Let’s also look for periwinkles to plant in your garden. After that, we can have lunch in the new restaurant that just opened a week ago. Oh! Did you know that there was also a newly-opened milk tea shop near the park? I went through the reviews and…”

Jiwoo goes on and on. Sooyoung only manages to register half of the words she blurted out, too focused on staring at how excited and joyful the love of her life looks. 

It’s not that Jiwoo had too many requests, but Sooyoung needs to let her know that she basically can’t do a ton of activities yet. So she explains how she needs to take things slow for now, to which Jiwoo pouts at, but ends up agreeing. She’s self-aware, she hasn’t done anything athletic for the past months, and her body would react really badly if she startles herself. She doesn’t want to end up in the hospital again. Definitely the last event she wants to happen is to feel like icky gum stuck to the bed. 

Now she feels Jiwoo’s hands on her, fiddling with the bottom hem of her hoodie. Sooyoung knows her too well, she knew Jiwoo wanted to say something, but was too embarrassed to even start. 

“What is it, Wooming?” She looks at her lovingly like she usually does, and Jiwoo starts blushing, to her surprise. 

“Well, I was wondering…if I could… move in with you. Like, I know most of my stuff is there in your guest room anyway but that was when my parents couldn’t free up space at home, I just, really wanted it to be official. Also, speaking of my parents, you don’t have to worry about them because I’d already informed about wanting to live with you and they’re totally fine with it, but if you aren’t then it’s also totally fine with me , I can go ask Jongho to help me in moving my things out and-”

Sooyoung leans in and gives her a quick, short, and soft peck on the lips. She pulls away and sees Jiwoo freeze in genuine confusion after. Cute .

“Shut up.” Sooyoung chuckles, gently holding her chin and pulling her in for a longer one this time, her girlfriend eagerly reciprocating her kisses. When Sooyoung pulls away again, leaving only their foreheads touching, she laughs, because Jiwoo still looked so lost. 

“Is that supposed to be a yes or not?” Jiwoo asks.

Sooyoung holds her hand that was fiddling with the hem of her hoodie, “Why would I kiss you if it was a no?” 

“I’m still not sure, though. I think I need to hear the answer again.” Jiwoo’s eyes had a glint of mischievousness, making Sooyoung snort. 

“Quit playing, of course I’d let us live in the same home.” She takes Jiwoo’s arms and begins to wrap them around her neck, effectively hugging her until she pins her down on the bed, giggles echoing through the room.

Sooyoung softly says, “Quick hug before I go, I still need to go outside in a few minutes.”

“Where are you going?”

“Garden duties.” Sooyoung replies, and they share a giggle. “Haven’t visited home yesterday, I bet they’re all thirsty.”

Sooyoung hears Jiwoo mumbling something on her shoulder, but she couldn’t decipher the words, her hoodie making the sentences all muffled, so she slightly lifts herself up using her elbows, and Jiwoo cradles her cheeks.

“Stay with me.”

“And leave my plants to die? Let my home be dusted with filthy germs? I need to make it look good before you can come back in.”

Jiwoo rolls her eyes, shoving her palm into Sooyoung’s face, but the woman doesn’t mind, laughing even harder and resting her head in the crook of Jiwoo’s neck.

“Fine. I stay two hours. Then I’ll get going. Deal?” She plants a tiny peck on the spot right under Jiwoo’s ear. 

Jiwoo fake snores, and Sooyoung swears she’s one breath away from biting her neck, literally. So she gives her own type of revenge, pretending to get up and leave the room, but Jiwoo strongly pulls her arms back down, and she ends up landing back heavily with an “oof.”

“Deal.”

So the next day, Jiwoo gets discharged on a wheelchair and a cannula still on her nose, everyone insists on helping to push her, but the woman swats their hands every time they try, repeating that she could push the wheels herself. She’s the first one to speed out the hospital exit, the automatic doors thankfully opening before she could crash into them. Jiwoo was way too excited, and Sooyoung already gave up on chasing her before they even started walking out the room.

“I’m finally ing free!” Jiwoo shouts, not caring  about the language at the moment, and cutely smiling at people who turned to glance at her. Everyone behind her laughs.

Jiwoo’s about to push her wheels again but Sooyoung stops her by holding the handles, “Slow down, love. You look like a hot wheel on a race track. Grumpy chilli.”

“Excuse me?” Jiwoo’s head almost snaps from turning so fast to look at Sooyoung with angry eyes, but she fails, and ends up snorting.

Sooyoung pushes her wheelchair instead, helping Jiwoo get up and sit in the Kim's family van while the others put their stuff at the back. They travel straight to Sooyoung’s home, cleaning and finally setting Jiwoo’s belongings, planning to follow-up the remaining things she left in her family’s home the week after. 

Sooyoung felt like it was a new start. Despite knowing the fact that Jiwoo only had limited time left to live, the sadness frequently gets replaced with relief, knowing that she could spend at least years outside the hospital before possibly going back again. A day before Jiwoo’s discharge from the hospital, Sooyoung and the other members of the family gathered and talked about how they would treat every single day as if it was Jiwoo’s last, wanting her to live somewhat an enjoyable life with no regrets.

It’s the acceptance that keeps not only Sooyoung, but everyone, going. They’ve gone through all the stages of grief, and this was technically the last, knowing that they’ll go through it again when she’s actually gone. They needed to make the most out of it. Sooyoung wants to be with Jiwoo everyday, until her last breath. 

And that’s exactly what she does. 

5 MONTHS AFTER JIWOO’S DISCHARGE

Sooyoung rubs her eyes open, the lack of warmth on the other side of the bed causing her to wake up at an unusual hour of the day. Jiwoo wasn’t next to her, which was confusing. She walks out of their shared bedroom, looking at the wall clock all perplexed.

“4am?” She groans, her eyes scanning the living room but Jiwoo’s nowhere to be found. 

Sooyoung searches their then-guest room which is now Jiwoo’s art room, but she still isn’t there. She’s one blink from calling her parents until her eyes gaze over the front door, the curtain beside illuminating a silhouette that resembles a person. Sooyoung nears, contemplating on whether to grab a pan from their kitchen just in case it was an intruder, but she doesn’t, thanks to the high-pitched yawn she hears outside. It’s her girlfriend. 

“What are you doing out here at such an hour?” Sooyoung stands by the door after she opens it, staring at Jiwoo, who’s sitting down on the couch in their veranda, seemingly zoned out. 

Jiwoo doesn’t speak, but rather opens her arms in a way of inviting Sooyoung, so she happily follows, reciprocating her embrace and giving her a kiss on a cheek before asking again. Jiwoo giggles, kissing her lips instead. 

The sky is still dark, stars still twinkling, the only noise being the occasional whoosh of the wind and the crickets still chirping. It’s like a blanket that wraps you in comfort, keeping you cozy. It doesn’t make you drowsy yet it does make your mind go blank. This was something Sooyoung would usually fancy, but it was odd for someone as energetic as Jiwoo to do this. 

“I think I should make a list of the things I want to do before I die.” She genuinely suggests it, and a part of Sooyoung feels sad, but she understands. 

“ That’s what’s keeping you up at 4am?” 

Jiwoo softly fists her shoulder, “Of course not. It just hasn’t sunken in my mind yet, you know? That I could die any day years later, or be back in the hospital again. I don’t feel fear or anxiety either. I don’t know why.” She links her arm with Sooyoung’s, nuzzling her cheek on her sleeve. 

“That probably means you’ve accepted it.” Sooyoung giggles, it was meant to be a joke, but it was somehow true. 

“Maybe…” Jiwoo hums, then suddenly straightens her posture, “Do you want to go to the convenience store? Buy yogurt with me?” 

“I don’t like where this is going.” Sooyoung deadpans, and Jiwoo laughs.

“Déjà vu, yeah?” She jokingly coughs, causing a soft shove on her face from Sooyoung, but she holds the hand, playing with her fingers, staring a little too lovingly into her eyes that Sooyoung can’t help but look away, a tint of red growing on her ears.

“I missed those.” Jiwoo smiles, leaning in.

“What?” Sooyoung looks back to accidentally meet her face, causing Jiwoo to peck the corner of her lips instead. Jiwoo bursts into a fit of giggles.

“I meant to kiss your ears, but this is also nice.” Jiwoo blushes as well, quickly launching herself into Sooyoung’s arms to hide it.

Everyday, it feels like she falls in love with Jiwoo all over again. The way her heart beats faster, the way her breath seems to get caught in every time she simply holds her hand, it never fades, and Sooyoung loves it. Loves the way Jiwoo makes her nervously gulp whenever she’s around even within a meter’s distance away from each other, the way her ears feel warm when Jiwoo stares into her eyes, the way she sometimes can’t seem to speak when she’s too infatuated with Jiwoo’s presence, Jiwoo this, Jiwoo that, she loved knowing that Jiwoo never failed to make her feel so, different. It’s like having a high-school crush, realizing that you’ve fallen in love, but it replays again and again, like it was Jiwoo purposely replaying those events, and Sooyoung doesn’t, and will never complain. 

“So? Are we going to the convenience store?” Jiwoo waves her hands in front of Sooyoung’s sight.

Sooyoung stares at her, and exactly like what was just mentioned, she feels everything again, she feels as if time had slowed and her heart stopped beating and the world also stopped spinning and it’s just the two of them staring into each other’s eyes and the quietness makes it even more precious and romantic and-

Jiwoo cups her face and kisses her lips, “Are you okay?” She giggles ridiculously when Sooyoung finally returns to the real world, looking lost. 

“You have no idea how insane you make me feel.” Sooyoung exhales as if she’d just ran through an entire hundred-meter relay.

Jiwoo raises her eyebrows in concern at the sudden statement, but from the way Sooyoung had been looking way out of her consciousness seconds ago gives her a little idea on what she’s trying to say. 

“Is my effect that bad on you?” Jiwoo her thumbs on her cheeks, finding her adorable. 

“Is it bad if I like it?” 

Jiwoo shakes her head in amusement, standing up from the couch and playfully pinching Sooyoung’s nose, “You’re sleepy, my love. Let’s just buy yogurt tomorrow.” 

Sooyoung mindlessly follows her back into the house, Jiwoo’s hands grabbing her wrist to her— their— bedroom. She’s about to faint again when she remembers that they actually live together now. 

Jiwoo gets assisted by her girlfriend in putting her cannula back on. Her doctors only required her to wear it to sleep, making it easier for her to walk around without dragging her oxygen tank in a trolley. 

They’re lying down, staring at each other in silence, the only noise being their breathing. Sooyoung’s lips bend downwards, holding back her laughter.

“What’s funny?” Jiwoo chuckles.

Sooyoung ends up cackling, “You breathe so loud. Are you trying to blow my bangs away?  They’re itching my face because of you.” 

Jiwoo rolls her eyes, turning on the other side as she huffs in annoyance. Sooyoung whines, shuffling closer and snaking her arms around Jiwoo’s waist, effectively embracing her from behind. She sniffs her hair, which Sooyoung does two more times, the scent all too familiar to her.

“You’re using my shampoo?” Sooyoung raises her head from the pillow, resting her cheek on Jiwoo’s. She doesn’t answer.

Sooyoung huffs, and she furrows her brows, dipping her head in the crook of Jiwoo’s neck this time, and gosh .

“And my body wash too ?” Sooyoung inhales again, she knows her bath products. Jiwoo can’t help it anymore, Sooyoung’s nose keeps poking her neck and it tickles her so much she bursts into a fit of giggles. 

“So what if I do? We live together. It saves money! You’re my girlfriend!” Jiwoo turns to lay on her back, staring back at Sooyoung whose face is inches above her, smiling like a fool. 

“No wonder why your side of the shower has all the bottles unopened. It already looks like the bath aisle in the supermarket.” Sooyoung chuckles, pecking Jiwoo’s forehead. 

Jiwoo smiles back, “What day is it today?” 

“Friday.” Sooyoung answers, resting her forehead on hers. 

“Are you sure? We’ve technically not slept yet.” 

“Oh, right.” Sooyoung laughs, it was already early in the morning, she totally forgot. “Then it’s Saturday today. Why ask?” She pushes herself back up again, looking at Jiwoo, but the girl only glares at her in an expression she can’t quite explain. 

“What?” Sooyoung asks again, but Jiwoo keeps the same face. 

She playfully slaps Sooyoung’s shoulders, then she wraps her arms around her neck, causing the taller one to lose her balance and drop on top of Jiwoo, her face perfectly landing in the crook of her girlfriend’s neck. 

“Park. Bench. Date. Saturdate- how could you forget all of that!” Jiwoo tightly hugs Sooyoung’s neck, their laughter getting muffled in each other’s embrace. They shuffle around the bed, tackling each other until Jiwoo complains about her cannula possibly getting tangled due to their mischievousness.

“I’m so sorry, Jiwoo.” She mumbles on her collarbones, planting a small kiss. “I’ll pay for ice cream later then, no more rock paper scissors on the way to the park. Sounds good?”

“I’ll think about it.” Jiwoo jokes, and groans after. “Make it a month.” 

“Hey! That’s not- '' Sooyoung tries to protest, lifting herself off Jiwoo but she only gets interrupted with a deep kiss, Jiwoo’s hands already tangled in her hair. 

And it’s not like Sooyoung was going to pull away, so she stops protesting in the end, kissing her back with fervor. It takes them about an hour before they get exhausted, finally sleeping cuddled tightly against one another. They’ll never get bored of each other.

—————————————————————

And in the park they are, on the good-old bench, both of them sharing a tub of ice cream. It’s an unwritten rule for them to arrive at three in the afternoon, the sun just beginning to set. It’s the perfect weather for them, not too hot nor freezing cold.

“Do you ever wonder what happened to the black cat?” Jiwoo asks as she approaches from throwing the empty tub in the trash bin, sitting down and resting her head on Sooyoung’s shoulder.

“He still visits sometimes, just later. He only arrives at the park minutes after the time we usually leave. He seems to have a schedule. I honestly forgot about it until you’ve mentioned.”

Jiwoo chuckles, “The tree is growing lilacs.” She rises, pointing at the tree next to them.

It takes Sooyoung a few seconds until she sees a shade of lavender that stands out between the leaves. Jiwoo is right, and they’ve just started to grow pretty recently. She remembers the tree barely even having leaves yet when she’d visit here alone. 

Jiwoo hums, saying, “Speaking of flowers, let’s visit the shop you went to!”

“When do you want to go?”

“Well we’re both busy during weekdays, so maybe tomorrow Sunday?” 

Sooyoung thinks. She’s right. Jiwoo got back to art weeks after she’d been discharged, and Sooyoung also finally managed to show up in her office. It’s all back to normal. Their only options were only the weekends, so it leaves them no choice. 

“Why don’t we go today? Let’s walk home and take the car.” Sooyoung suggests, it leaves Jiwoo surprised.

“Is that fine with you?” 

“If I wasn’t then I wouldn’t be suggesting it in the first place…” She giggles, taking Jiwoo’s hand and she drags them out of the park, walking back home. 

—————————————————————

It takes them about 20 minutes to arrive, the flower shop looking much more vibrant compared to last time Sooyoung visited. The current weather must’ve been a huge factor.

She opens the car door for Jiwoo, fixing her slightly messy bangs when she stands up from her seat, and holds her hand. 

“Isn’t this also the place where someone tried hitting on you?” 

“Yes. I bet she’ll look even more dejected when she sees you.” Sooyoung answers, making Jiwoo chuckle. 

Jiwoo jokingly pouts, “Hey! I’m not here to show off or make her feel bad…” She tugs Sooyoung away from the car door and closes it, leading her to the steps on the way to the shop’s entrance. “The tulips you gave me were beautiful and it made me curious about the place.”

They enter, the glass door’s bells ringing. Sooyoung looks around and notices a few changes, changes that were apparently huge . The overwhelming strong scent she suffered from last time did not exist anymore, thanks to the windows that were wide open now. The entire shop also reorganized its entire presentation, with a few more decorations and props placed in some areas to make it look better. She looks to the right and realizes the odd amount of huge space. The owner must have renovated the entire place and bought the next slot of the shop that had closed down before, a huge extension that makes the place at least two times bigger than it was. 

“This was definitely not how it looked like last time I went here.” She whispers at Jiwoo, their hands still tightly clasped together, standing in awe.

“Really…? I think this is the best flower shop I’ve ever been to.” Jiwoo whispers back, gently shaking their joint hands to walk to one aisle so the other people inside wouldn’t think they’re a bunch of weirdos standing completely still in the entrance.

If the place got bigger, then the options have also increased. More blossoms have been added to the shop, they even started selling seeds and have their own customized greeting cards with their logo printed on them. The business obviously sky-rocketed months after Sooyoung’s visit. 

The two wander off on their own, looking at all the things by themselves. Jiwoo stays in the aisle while Sooyoung goes off to the section with potted plants, eventually planning to buy some after taking a look. 

“Soo!”

She hears Jiwoo call, and she walks back to find her, knowing that her girlfriend saw something she liked, and that she was going to ask for Sooyoung’s opinion before deciding to buy it. She does find her easily in the end, walking towards Jiwoo, and when Jiwoo backs off from the shelves to show her what she’s found, Sooyoung catches a glimpse of a worker behind them, making her gasp.

“You’re- I remember you!” Sooyoung laughs and lightly waves at her, the worker’s eyes widening and she’s also in shock. 

“Ma’am-” She stutters, looking at Jiwoo and then back Sooyoung again, “I- I didn’t expect you to come back again.”

Sooyoung narrows her eyes to read off the lady’s name tag, “Hyun…jin, Hyunjin! Yes, Hyunjin. I believe you’re the cashier I talked to last time I bought flowers for my girlfriend. I still remember the cashier register malfunctioning!” 

She looks at Jiwoo, and the two share a knowing glance, Jiwoo realizing that Hyunjin was the person Sooyoung talked about, and they both smile at each other, wanting to giggle. Sooyoung looks back at Hyunjin, who’s now blushing and scratching her nape in embarrassment, the look of sadness obvious through her eyes despite her smiles. She’s sure Hyunjin knew about her seeing the handwritten phone number on the receipt, and Sooyoung slightly feels apologetic, because it wasn’t her fault anyway, she didn’t know. 

“I’m- I’m really sorry about last time, ma’am. It was very unprofessional of me to write my digits there. I didn’t-”

“Hey hey, nothing to be sorry about.”

“Oh my, it’s not your fault!”

Sooyoung and Jiwoo talk at the same time, and Hyunjin even looks much more nervous now since she’s aware that Jiwoo knows what has happened before. 

Sooyoung chuckles, “Well, I did tell my girlfriend about what happened, but you shouldn’t worry so much. In fact, we both found it very funny and adorable.”

“She’s right!” Jiwoo gently takes Hyunjin’s wrist, smiling, “You didn’t know, so it wasn’t your fault. I really didn’t get mad at all.”

Hyunjin seems to relax now, and she smiles genuinely this time, patting Jiwoo’s hand and bowing in gratitude, “You both are very nice people, and really, really pretty as well.”

It’s Sooyoung and Jiwoo’s turn to blush this time, laughing in embarrassment. Jiwoo lightly pushes her shoulder, teasing. “You’re a little bit of a joker, eh?” 

“What? No, I’m not lying!” Hyunjin’s smile fades, her expression turning serious which was obvious enough to show how genuine her words were, “You two look really beautiful! It’s rare to see such couples nowadays.” 

The three share an exchange for a little more before going back to work, Hyunjin explaining the gardening tool set Jiwoo picked, and the couple eventually decided to buy it, along with a tiny potted cactus plant Sooyoung saw from one of the shelves earlier. 

They exit the store, walking in the parking lot with their hands clasped, Sooyoung holding the bag of items they bought from the shop.

Jiwoo sways their hands, sighing. “I forgot to tell you, Jongho called me this morning.” 

“Is there something wrong?” Sooyoung notices the heaviness of Jiwoo’s sigh, she knew it was one of concern. 

“He failed the exam he was majoring in. He didn't visit home last weekend, he told me he was too scared to face our parents.” 

Sooyoung chuckles in understanding. She’s faced this similar situation but with her sister. Failing exams were probably the worst, especially when you have a family of academic overachievers. Sooyoung wasn’t actually that bad in any subjects, except for science. She failed Biology back when she was a freshman, and her sister was a doctor. “Failed”, “Biology” and “Doctor” don’t sound very pleasant in the same sentence, though she did manage to put up with the scolding, and her sister taught her in the end.

“Doesn’t he take electrical engineering? I took that as my major for two years.” Sooyoung answers, and the two continue talking as they enter and start the car. 

“Was it that difficult for you? Because when Jongho put us on facetime…he looked like he hadn’t slept for days.” 

“Depends on the student, but it definitely was challenging .” Sooyoung begins to drive, exiting the parking lot, and she hums in deep thought. “Why don’t you invite him over and I tutor him until he gets a grasp? I still have some of my textbooks with me. I don’t mind reviewing them again.” 

Jiwoo’s eyes widen, and she sits up straight from her seat, “Are you sure you’re okay with that? You still have a job at the mall, though. You’ll be too tired to teach him when you go home-”

“I sit at my desk and spend all day staring at my laptop in the mall, babe.” Sooyoung giggles, removing her hold on the gear stick to hold Jiwoo’s hands. “Plus, it seems that Jongho really needs it from how you’re describing him. I can help him out.” 

“Right,” Jiwoo huffs, opening her phone to text her brother, “I’ll tell him.”

“But, in one condition. Your parents need to know what happened, and he needs to come home eventually. I’m not going to lie to them behind their backs, you know for sure that I’m not like that.” 

Jiwoo snorts from the imagination of Jongho, possibly looking dead terrified once their parents find out about his failed exam. He still has two semesters, though. Two chances to get himself back up. 

—————————————————————

The couple stares at each other, fear shared between them. Both have their ears planted against Jiwoo’s bedroom door, trying to hear the conversation occuring downstairs. 

Jongho agreed with Sooyoung’s suggestion of telling his parents everything. He had arrived back home to the Kim family’s home an hour after Jiwoo and Sooyoung visited. 

“I can’t hear a word!” Jiwoo angrily whispers, and Sooyoung shushes her, trying to form the muffled sentences through the door.

Sooyoung listens more, and the two still don’t understand anything until Jiwoo’s father speaks a little louder this time, 

“You still should have told us, Kim Jongho!”

“D-dad…I said I was just too-”

“And you’re shameless, asking Sooyoung to help you out! Just because she’s your sister’s girlfriend doesn’t mean you get to ask her favors like-”

Jiwoo interrupts and suddenly grabs Sooyoung’s hands, and she ends up unable to hear the complete end of his sentence, “He’s using full names now, what are we supposed to do?!” She panics.

Sooyoung acts out of instinct, rising from her sitting position, causing Jiwoo to get dragged up as well from their intertwined hands, and she opens the door strongly with a whoosh so loud that the three turn their heads towards her.

“Mr. Kim, please don’t say that to Jongho.” Sooyoung awkwardly bows in apology, “I actually was the one who suggested to tutor him-”

“Oh, Sooyoungie.” He swats his hands, “I know you consider us your family but this time, Jongho is not your responsibility. You have a job and a girlfriend. You’ve already put in so much effort when Jiwoo was in the hospital.”

“I insist.” She answers firmly. “Jongho can save time right now, he doesn’t need to look for other tutors when I’m right here. I also believe he’ll be much more comfortable when he’s being taught by someone he knows personally.” 

Sooyoung ignores the slight tug on the hem of her sleeve, as well as Jiwoo whispering her name. 

When no one talks back, Sooyoung gulps before speaking up again. “I’ve earned top marks in my college years. I had a 4.0 GPA. I was  laude in my graduating class. I know I’m more than qualified to assist Jongho. I still have my medals stored, I can show them to you as proof.” Sooyoung inhales as she lowers her head, somewhat embarrassed for her statement coming off as a brag, but it wasn’t. She really wanted to convince their parents. 

Sooyoung fails to notice the shock written on everyone else’s faces, including from her own girlfriend. 

“  laude , and you were your university’s top player in women’s basketball? Wow, just- wow .” Jiwoo lies on their bed, staring at the ceiling. The couple was finally back in the comfort of their home. 

Meanwhile, Sooyoung just chuckles, cleaning her desk, too embarrassed to speak. 

“Why didn’t you hang your medals and certificates on the wall, then? You never even told me about this too! I never knew I had such a perfect girlfriend!” Jiwoo shuffles on their bed, aggressively hugging the pillow next to her and squealing in excitement. 

“Perfect is too much.” Sooyoung changes into a much more comfortable t-shirt before lying down beside Jiwoo. “I still was a douchebag at some point. All my senses went to university, nothing was left out for me to apply in my social life. Ended up losing Jungeun at that.” She jokes, and Jiwoo laughs.

“Now that you’ve mentioned it, those titles didn’t matter anymore. Image tarnished.” 

“Hey!” Sooyoung whines and protests, throwing little punches on her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

Just before Jiwoo could fight back, her phone rings, and Sooyoung once again gets off the bed to answer it, immediately launching herself back next to Jiwoo in anticipation.

“Hello Jongho!” Sooyoung greets, and Jiwoo whispers to put it on speaker, to which her girlfriend complies. “What made you call at this hour?”

“What did dad say? Did he reject it?” Jiwoo adds in, too impatient to let him speak.

“Dad talked to me a few minutes after you guys left…” The long awkward silence somehow hurts Jiwoo’s ears even more. 

“ God , why do you have to make everything so dramatic? So what? What did he say? Did he scold you-”

“Jiwoo.” Sooyoung gently shoves her head with her hand before mouthing, “Be quiet!” 

“He’s allowing it for free, but he says Sooyoung should only tutor me for less than three weeks, and after that… I’m all on my own in reviewing.” His voice quiets down, “I don’t think I should be saying this, but- anyway, he told me he feels embarrassed for letting you deal with our family’s business, although he feels thankful at the same time because Jiwoo found someone as intelligent and hardworking as you.” 

“Aww~” Jiwoo giggles, playfully wiggling her eyebrows and bumping Sooyoung’s shoulder. 

Meanwhile, Sooyoung simply chuckles, “If you think about it, Jiwoo’s the reason why I became much more active. I used to be a slouch, and she got mad at me for that.” She senses the glare of her girlfriend from the side, mentally patting herself on the back since that was the reaction she wanted after all.

Jiwoo breathes loudly . “Right, Jongho. Let’s continue to discuss this tomorrow, hm?” She reaches to pinch Sooyoung’s side, but the woman grabs her hand in time, like she’d already expected Jiwoo to attack her. This causes her to get even more annoyed. She exhales out of her nose one last time, “Goodnight, brother! I hope you actually listen to my lovely girlfriend when she teaches you or else you’ll get one hell of a scolding from me if you fail the next test!”

Sooyoung hears Jongho’s stutters through the phone but Jiwoo purposely talks over him and ends the call, proceeding to look at her with fury-filled eyes after.

“What.” 

Jiwoo gasps, offended. “I didn’t get mad at you for living like how you used to back then!” She pouts, slouching in what looked like defeat, “Jongho’s going to think I’m some controlling girlfriend.” 

Sooyoung only snorts, “You  at acting.” She then embraces Jiwoo, letting them drop on the bed, and she groans, “Remember when you told me that some director casted you and you almost became a child actress? Your parents made a great decision to reject that offer.”

Her words make Jiwoo laugh so loudly that Sooyoung can’t help but laugh with her. It’s moments like these that keep Sooyoung going, the way how they bicker so frequently yet it never reaches to the point where they cross the line. The two knew their boundaries, they knew what was comfortable. They knew each other, themselves, and that’s exactly why they’ve been so healthy. Sooyoung never thought a relationship with no fights would actually exist, and it makes her wonder why couples would fight if they truly loved each other so much. 

TWO YEARS, SIX MONTHS

Sooyoung learns that couples fight because they truly love each other so much. 

It feels surreal. It doesn’t- can’t sink in her mind. It has already been four days and yet the memory of Jiwoo’s expression, the way she walked out of the door, still hasn’t been erased from her brain. Sooyoung doesn’t understand why this had to happen, and how that exact moment of Jiwoo slamming the door shut has replayed so many times in her head that she forgot how and why the argument even started. 

Her phone rings, and Sooyoung’s face lights up but goes back to sadness after seeing the caller ID not being her girlfriend, but her girlfriend’s brother. 

In the most lifeless tone Sooyoung has ever spoken, “Hey, what’s up.” She winces, wanting to take her words back after hearing herself. She sounded uninterested, sarcastic. It was unintentional.

“Jiwoo’s still with us. She seems fine. I mean, she’s talking to all of us and is eating normally. You? How are you, if you want, I can give her the phone-”

“That’s good, Jongho. Good. But, I didn’t- really ask you about how she is there, so I don’t think you need to report to me on how or what she’s doing. You're her family anyway.”

“But I know you want to know how she’s doing. You’re still her girlfriend, and her belongings are there. You still live together.”

Sooyoung doesn’t react, she stays silent and stares at the empty space next to her, on their bed. 

Jongho sighs, loud enough for her to hear through the line, “Look, Sooyoung. I know I’m no relationship expert and I don’t have a girlfriend, but you can’t stay still and keep accepting the cold shoulder she’s giving you. You’re too nice.”

“What are you trying to tell me? To force my girlfriend to come back home when she doesn't want to?” Sooyoung raises her voice, slightly irritated by Jongho’s words, and he could sense it. 

“No- no,” He immediately responds, “Don’t misunderstand me. It’s just that you keep letting her go on like this. You aren’t making any effort to apologize to her. You’re not fighting for her at all. You’re going to make her think that she’s not worth reconciling with. It’s gonna make you both even sadder. I know you love her so much, so why aren’t you doing anything?”

Sooyoung pinches the bridge of her nose, “So…? What am I supposed to do? I’m clearly wrong, what I said was ridiculous anyway. I shouldn’t have said those words to her. I’m already regretting it so much it feels like she’s been gone for a month-”

“Exactly!” Jongho’s voice turns high-pitched. “That’s why you should apologize. It’s normal for a couple to argue. You both can’t be lovey-dovey everyday for the rest of your lives. You’re humans who make mistakes, and ignoring each other is definitely not the best way to make up.”

About ten seconds of silence fills up the air and Sooyoung feels suffocated until Jongho speaks again. 

“I don’t think you and I have anything more to say. Then I’ll get going, Jiwoo might see me and get mad. Please think about what you’re doing, Soo. It’s not helping at all.” He hangs up. 

Sooyoung drops her phone on the mattress, trying to calm herself down by forcibly shutting her eyelids. 

TWO YEARS, THREE MONTHS (Flashback)

She can’t let go, can’t stop worrying. It even amuses Jiwoo. Sooyoung’s been non-stop loading her with questions due to panic. 

“I’m fine, love. Please stop asking me things and go to rest.”

“How am I supposed to go to rest with what just happened?!” 

“That was hours ago, and the doctors said I’m okay! Nothing’s wrong with me. It’s expected to happen anyway.” Jiwoo frowns, and Sooyoung sighs, sitting next to her. 

She grabs Jiwoo’s hands, raising them to as she kisses her knuckles, “Still, I’m worried about you.”

The situation earlier escalated so quickly that Sooyoung had to process everything whilst panicking and doing everything she could to help. 

Sooyoung woke up in the middle of the night, dry and hoarse, she needed water.

So she gets out of their room, leaving Jiwoo for a moment. Jiwoo who was sound asleep.

It was all normal. This was normal too. Sooyoung doesn’t know why she sometimes wakes up with a dry throat, but a glass of water always fixes it anyway.

What wasn’t normal was the sound of rough coughing across the room, and it immediately sends her into confusion that turns into panic seconds later, especially when the coughing switches into hyperventilating. She almost shatters the glass from carelessly dropping it on their sink.

The sight terrifies her. One second of seeing Jiwoo struggling to breathe, choking on air, holding her own neck, yet it felt like time froze, and Sooyoung moved quickly. She needed to. 

She couldn’t call anyone now, anything could happen to Jiwoo. Even saving a second of calling her family could affect her badly. So her main focus was only driving Jiwoo to the hospital.

Sooyoung speeds through all the red lights, she couldn’t care less about getting fined, not when Jiwoo’s life is in her hands. 

She gets stopped by a police officer thanks to a boom barrier blocking her from moving further. It gets Sooyoung extremely irritated, rolling her window down to half, interrupting the police officer.

“MY GIRLFRIEND IS ABOUT TO ING DIE.”

The cop pauses, his eyes widening in shock. His fellow crewmates stare at the passenger seat, and Jiwoo’s choking is bad enough for everyone else to see that Sooyoung definitely needs to go, but the cop who stopped her thought otherwise.

“Ma’am, we can help you. I suggest we take an ambulance because your speed is prone to causing acci-”  

“Please, please sir-”  Sooyoung herself chokes on her tears, she’s desperate, she’s not letting a single thing stop her right now, not even a literal officer. 

“You can even put me in jail after this, please just- let me take my girlfriend to the doctor.” 

If the cops won’t budge, she’d even consider reversing and driving through the grass-

“Ma’am please go! We’ll be informing the other securities on your way so you can drive quick enough to reach the hospital.” 

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