Dear Crush, I Fancy You

The Novelist Jongin



 


It's raining just outside her window. However, the sound of rain pouring hard onto the earth doesn't affect her concentration at all. Her round light brown eyes couldn't divert anywhere else from the lines on a lightweight 80 pages romance teen's novel which is firmly held in her hands. Sometimes she squeals, sometimes she 'aww's, sometimes she screeches to her own along with the words like, "Why is this boy being edgy to her?! He knows she loves him, didn't he? He shouldn't treated her that way!" and followed by other words like, "Awww! Why is he being so protective to her? Is that why he was a jerk just now? To get her out of trouble? Oh dear, this is sweet! Things he does for love." And that is certainly the name of the novel, "Things I Do For Love". 

"Things I Do For Love" is a mini-series like teen's love novel that are compromised of many sub-novels, created by an anonymous author using pen name Kim Kai. In its first edition, it was simply entitled as "Things I Do For Love", which tells a story about Lee Yunho's love story with Kim Mina, both high school students. However after the book receives many attention and favor especially from young girl (small portion of them are guys too) buyers, the author decided to create a miniseries from the actual novel and created many sequels or re-imaginings or spin-offs under the main title. As for now, the one which Lee Hanna was reading is "Things I Do For Love : Winter's Love." Serving Lee Yunho and Kim Mina as the permanent main couple of the novel, this time in this re-imagining, about Yunho's confession to Mina last winter which she rejected him later, the plot then shows the stages of their relationship as Mina wants to win Yunho's love back. And Hanna is pretty much enjoying (sometimes gets emotional to) the creative plot the author has prepared. 

"Mina could have just accepted Yunho's love at first place when he confessed to her but as a girl I won't blame her though. It's hard to be near a guy who is fancied by almost every girl in the school. She might get hurt from it. I'm glad they still ended up together" Hanna puts down the novel on a table near her bed. She lies down on her bed and doesn't seem to stop herself from wide grins. She sighs and shuts her eyelids,

"If only there is a guy who would go such lengths for me the way Yunho did for Mina." She opens her eyes as she feels something hits her chest hard, the feeling of loneliness and longing. Hanna gets up into sitting posture and the wild grin disappeared from her face. She begins to set some sort of gloomy aura around her. "Why am I still single? I want to be able to feel love and being loved." She shifted herself to go near the window and puts her chin to rest onto her palm. She stares at the pouring rainwater outside her house. She doesn't like being lonely. She wants to have a subject for her affection and being someone else's affection subject too.

She wants to know how it actually feels like when she wants to look at the face of her loved one, only to have her loved one looked at her first.

She wants to feel the warm radiated from her lover's hand as he holds her hand when they share a long walk to and from their date.

She wants to feel all those experiences and many more. Her parents are divorced and both of them remarried, this affected her in so many ways since both of her parents have started new lives of their own, have new children of their own and she is being left out here with her grandparents. Her parents visit her twice in a month. 

All Hanna has ever wanted is someone to lean on and to talk to, in a deep conversation, heart to heart talk. She does have friends, she talks to them, but they can't all be focusing their attention on her alone, because most of her friends are either in a relationship or don't care about having one. There is something different when having a lover's conversation, your partner puts all of their attention on you and knows exactly what to tell you and how to comfort you because they are in love with you. Hanna wants to have that. She wants to love someone. These are how much those love novels affected Hanna. As she was pondering still, suddenly, Hanna's face glowed up with sudden thought shoots up her mood. "At least I'm crushing on someone. I'm not that hopeless after all, am I?" She said with a wide smile plastered on her face. 

"Hanna!" 

Hanna flinched by the sound of her grandfather's voice from outside of her room, followed by few knocks on the door.

"Yes, grandpa?" Hanna replies as she opens the door. She is welcomed by her grandfather's warm smile and she replies that smile of a man who loves her since her earliest childhood. She still have her loving grandparents, so she is not that lonely after all. They took her in and she voluntarily followed them because they have been the only ones who sincerely care about her since the falling out of her parents. 

"I just got back from town and I bought your favorite drink. Join us downstairs, dear. Your imaginary boyfriend won't pop up from those books anyhow." Grandpa jokingly teases Hanna and they both laughed together.

There was a story behind the start of Hanna's interest in the novels. Her grandparents bought the first novel from a bookstore and they thought "Things I Do For Love" was a motivational book to lift up Hanna's spirit after her parents separated. When it turned up to be a high school romance novel, they were glad that she loved it still. Ever since then, Hanna spends most of her leisure time with these novels and never missed to buy latest editions of it. She reads other novels too but "Things I Do For Love" series has always been her favorite. She always speaks of it to her grandparents and that's where they both know Hanna wants a boyfriend but she was being too selective for her ideals. She wants someone like Yunho. That's the reason why Grandpa always teases Hanna with her 'imaginary book boyfriend'.

"Grandpa, don't tease me, I will cry." Hanna playfully acting as if she will cry and Grandpa laughs as he holds his granddaughter's hand and comforts her, "You are still young, Hanna. You have plenty of time. One day, you will find a man who will truly loves you, and maybe one day, you will be living with him too," says Grandpa as they walk down the staircases. Hanna was taken aback and she doesn't like the sound of Grandpa's sentence as she never ever bear an intention to leave her loving grandparents' side.

"Grandpa, you know I won't leave you and Grandma. Even if I'm married one day, I will ask my husband to live here with you guys and he will want to do so if he TRULY loves me. I'm not my parents. I will love and care for you both, I promise." Hanna tries to hide her sadness and hopes that her grandparents understand her affection for them. Grandpa turns to Hanna and smiles, "We know, dear. You are the best." Hanna smiles back. 
Hanna sits next to her grandmother on the couch and the trio had a perfect tea time sitting in the warmth of their house heater as it is still heavily rain outside.


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"Oi,Hanna!" 

Hanna accidentally drops the duster she was holding when SooYoung surprised her with a hard tap from the back.
Hanna turns to Sooyoung and pokes her belly, "Do that again, I'll die from young age, you idiot!" 

Sooyoung laughs it off. The two are best friends since elementary school and opposite to Hanna's girly personalities, Sooyoung is the opposite kind of girl. The tomboyish one who hates skirt and wears it only because she has to obey school's rules. She is that one tough girl who joins three martial art clubs simultaneously as hobby and arrives late at school like the discipline teacher's warning are nothing as long as she never get caught in the act. The reason they became friends is because they sit next to each other when they first met and only head each other to talk to. Despite the differences of personality, they bonded well throughout the years.

"Hey, I can't go home with you, I have a club's activity. Sorry," Sooyoung softly pokes Hanna's dimple. Hanna laughs, "There's nothing to be sorry for. Just do your thing. But it's okay though, I could wait. I will go to the computer lab and do my homework."

Sooyoung nods her head and bids her way to her club room, "I'm gonna get you some melon tea drinks later, it's on me! See ya!" 

Hanna smiles at the mention of her favorite drink and waves to Sooyoung as the latter leaves the classroom. Hanna looks around and it's only her left in the classroom. Everyone has been on their way to home or for those who have club activity, heading to their club rooms, respectively. The clubs Hanna joined aren't the type that is as active as sports are, like Sooyoung. She wipes the whiteboard  clean and grabs her bag after she is done. She charts her way to the computer lab.


___________________________________________________________________________

When Hanna enters the computer lab, there are few students inside. Some of them are playing computer games, some accessing the internet, some studying, and etc.
Hanna discovers an empty seat in the middle row and sets herself onto it. She turns on the PC and starts pulling out her History textbook and exercises given by Mr. Park earlier, intending to work on her assignment. She begins opening Google Chrome and types in keywords. She immerses herself into her study, she doesn't realize the computer lab is almost empty after 2 hours.

She finally finished her work and stretches her arms high and sighs in victory, "Now, I can rest throughout the night." She collects her writing utensils and packs her bag, leaving the desk clean. As she looks at her left and right, there is no one left and Hanna feels the urges to leave too. As she was about to turn off the PC, she hears a very quick yet loud sounds of keyboard tapping near her. 'Someone is still here?' she thinks. It's the PC in front of her.

Without thinking twice, Hanna rises up from her seat and takes a peek to see who is the one seating opposite in front of her PC and once she processes to recognize the focus guy who can't seem to stop typing fiercely on his keyboard, Hanna suddenly gasps and goes back to her seat in both excitement and surprise. 

"IT'S HIM!" 

Hanna screams in her mind. Her crush is here. Kim Jongin is here. Kim-fcking-Jongin is here. 

Hanna starts to silently frantic in her seat and she is extremely nervous. She was never this close with him. The closest she ever got near him is when she walks past his class upstairs of hers, and had to slow down when she wants to take a glance of his face. He always being seen sitting next to a window at the back of his class every year, it's easier for her to spot him every time. It could make her sad if she can't see him in one day, she needs to at least see him once in a day to be able to enjoy the entire day. Considering today she hasn't seen him face, this is her first time of the day, AND HE IS SO DAMN NEAR HER THIS TIME.

Hanna collects herself and starts to breathe properly. Her hands are shaking and her heart is beating faster, almost inhumanely. She tries to peek at his face at the free space between the PCs but she couldn't. Her sight is limited as the PCs are aligned closely next to another. Desperate to look at Jongin's face, Hanna slowly stands up and charts her sight onto his face. Jongin looks busy with his typing work and stays unbothered, well at least, seems like it. Hanna takes time to churn in the details of Jongin's handsome cold face. Even when he looks so focused, he is very appealing to Hanna. Hanna adores every smooth lines and shapes of his face.
His full plump lips in pink, hinting this guy doesn't smoke. His skin is clear and his sharp darting gaze with colour of his eyes pitch black, occasionally blinking as he works. His nose bridge stands out and his nose tip is almost round he looks so cute yet menacing. His jawline is so structured it was crafted specially by God himself. Holy cow.

Hanna gets carried away, devoted into adoring every inches of Jongin's feature, unexpectedly, realizing Hanna's bizarre activity, Jongin looks up to her and asks,
"Yes?"

Hanna flinched in shock and starts to realize the idiocy out of her. She begins to act frantic, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I - I - I was ... Ahh," Hanna's brain lost for words. Jongin caught her staring at him red-handedly. She has to think fast. Clear herself out of this mess. Got it!

"I thought I was the only left here. I didn't notice you were here too." She tries to calmly put her words into a proper sentence. Jongin's left eyebrow is raised. He displays a confused expression. Hanna notices this and coughs as she puts into another sentence, "I thought I was the only one here, you know, there's a rumor about this lab and I was thinking if you are... ah... a human or... not?" 

There, she talks gibberish. She didn't expect such ridiculous sayings coming out from . But she wants to save her life, needless to say, she's desperate enough to lie using stupid reason.

Jongin looks around afterwards and discovers that there is truly just both of them here, first point proven. But the second one got him thinking,
"I never know any ghost that types and uses PC." He says with a blank expression in his face. Hanna is twice as confused as he is.

"Are you the lab assistant?" Jongin asks. Hanna shakes her head, "No."

Jongin nods slowly and states, "I thought you wanted to chase me away." Hanna shakes her head again, "No."

Jongin looks back onto his PC screen and continues typing, ignoring Hanna who is still not moving, still, staring unbelievably at him. Jongin notices this and looks at her again, "Is there anything else?" He asks and Hanna quickly get alarmed of her doings. "No, I'm leaving... Sor - Sorry," she grabs her bag pack and begins to walk away when she heard Jongin bids her, "Be careful on your way," with his eyes still on his PC while his fingers are dedicated on the keyboard, so fast and so professional-like etiquette. Hanna is stunned by his words but slowly waves at him in respond, even though he doesn't look back at her and keeps himself busy with his work.

Hanna walks out from the computer lab and paces her path slowly. After few meters away from the lab, she suddenly throws her hands in the air and squeals as girliest way possible, "HE TALKS TO ME! KYAAAA!!" and she begins running through the corridor, on her way to Sooyoung.
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