Honestly, the days without Irene had seemed endless. The way she felt the entire time, only reconfirming the fact that she had indeed fallen for her robot. No matter how ed up. Logically, she of course knew Irene would never feel the same way. That she was literally incapable of feeling that way. But maybe a synthetic version of it was enough. Some sort of affection. Anything. Joy didn’t need a lot. She’d compensate.

She wasn’t sure on what she was going to do really, but she knew that she wanted to be with Irene. To fill this void she was feeling once more. A void that Irene had filled up so unexpectedly. So effortlessly.

Who cared if it was crazy. Joy was okay being crazy.

Joy found herself reveling in rain for the first time. Finding Irene in her head whenever grey clouds took over. Reminding her she was one day closer to getting her back.

Until she received the call. “Your order has arrived. You can come pick it up whenever.”

Joy hadn’t even bothered taking along Yeri like last time. In fact, she hadn’t even bothered finishing her work day. Following the call, she had merely slipped on a pair of sneakers and grabbed her phone to call a taxi. Off she was.

-

Joy could only look at her for a few seconds. Out of breath from dragging Irene into the elevator and into her apartment, sure. But also… mentally preparing. To have Irene back. Her insides had become jelly. Her fingers tingling. Her eyes stinging just from seeing her again. Exactly the same as she had looked before. Almost enough to make her forget the sight of a broken Irene without skin.

She gulped, finally reaching around her, fingers within a slender neck and pressing down. Four fingers at the same time. The way to power her up. And there they were. Two brown eyes upon her own again.

“Good morning.”

Her voice gave Joy chills. She had to gulp away the knot in . “Do you know who I am?”

“Of course. You are Joy, my owner.” A smile that made Joy’s heart melt.

She remembered! Joy couldn’t help the big smile that was on her features now as well. Pure relief. “I’m so happy to have you back. I missed you.”

Irene merely blinked, that smile still upon her face. Starting to look unnatural. She did not respond. In fact, she didn’t seem to be looking at her at all. Her eyes were somewhere behind her. It confused Joy. She looked over her shoulder to only find windows behind her.

“Shall I clean the windows? They seem dirty.”

Uh… “sure. If you want to.”

“I have no wants.” She didn’t wait for a response, before making her way over to the pantry.

Joy unconsciously trailed behind her. Unsure about why something seemed off. This was definitely Irene. She obviously still remembered all the tips Joy had given her previously. Doing everything exactly right. No mistakes as she had made in the first few days. All perfect. Too perfect.

“What do you want, Irene?” Joy eventually prompted out of nothing. Maybe it was because her new body, was still shackled after all. Only her memory had been recovered. Nothing else.

“I don’t understand your inquiry.”

Joy felt go dry. Not the answer she had expected. Maybe she was being over dramatic. Irene had just been rebuilt, sure. But her memory had merely been transferred, which meant she surely remembered the accident. Maybe she was in shock. Traumatized.

Not once during the entire day, did Irene talk to her. Nor spare her a single glance, really. Only after she was done cleaning everything did she come to a halt in front of Joy. Joy who had been at a loss, merely watching her the whole time.

“I have finished. Is there anything else you require to be done?”

Joy shook her head, “no. Thank you Irene. You want to watch some tv with me?”

The smile upon her face turned into a frown in less than a second. Not a moment to contemplate. The answer came immediately. “To what end?”

This couldn’t be real. Even before she had unshackled Irene, she had been curious. Pro-active in a way. Now? Objectively she seemed more perfect in a way, but Joy could only miss imperfect Irene. With her blank expression and contemplating pauses.

“What do you want for dinner?”

Joy shook her head, “anything.”

Blink. “I do not understand the request. Please make a different request.”

Only reconfirming her suspicions. It wasn’t the unshackling. It was the robot. Same memory, but everything else different. Joy felt alone.

-

Joy wouldn’t even dare to unshackle this robot. She had unshackled Irene before because she had trusted her. This robot, however? It was not Irene and she did not trust her. Even if she had the same face. The same voice. Hell, Joy had even discovered she used expressions her Irene hadn’t. Making full use of the ten expressions she had. She smiled way more. But they were meaningless smiles. Joy didn’t care for them. Even if she knew that objectively, they were exactly the same.

She had given it a week. Before she simply couldn’t handle it anymore. Her heart ready to crumble. She needed her Irene or no Irene at all. That was all she knew. Because having this Irene around was simply a reminder of who she was not. Of what Joy had lost.

Honestly, if she had gotten this Irene right from the start, Joy would have been happy. With the perfect job she delivered. No questions asked. No disturbance at all. As if she wasn’t there. But she was there. Like a ghost of the real thing. Irene didn’t care about the rain anymore. She didn’t want to tie cherries. She wasn’t interested in viewing Joy’s pictures.

“So… The issue is that she’s too perfect?”

Yeri questioned it. Perfectly logical question. Yet from the amusement in her eyes, Joy could tell she knew perfectly well what was wrong.

“Yeri! This isn’t funny.” Joy was heartbroken.

Finally the amusement in Yeri’s eyes even pulled through to the smile on her face though. “Sorry. I was just thinking back on how uncomfortable you were that first day you got her. And now you have gotten so attached to her you want her back. They grow so fast.”

Joy crossed her arms. She couldn’t believe her friend was making fun of her like this. She obviously didn’t understand. “Look, you don’t know what she means to me. Meant, I guess. I just… can’t keep her. So please, if you want her, take her.”

Yeri finally sighed. “I have an idea of what she means to you. I saw it last time. I’m not going to question it.” She rose her eyebrows making her judgement clear enough. Joy supposed it didn’t matter anymore though. Much to her surprise, however, Yeri leaned over to grab a hold of her backpack and pulled it closer.

“You remember what I said last time? That Irene seemed to be defect from the start?”

Joy sighed, placing herself upon the coffee table, in front of Yeri. “I do. And you were right. Obviously she was defect. In the best way possible.”

“Well,” Yeri continued, “I actually got curious, so I took her code home to study it. And I found the error. Much like I expected. A small thing initially, but it pulled through the entire code the longer she was active. I haven’t really seen anything like this before.”

She took out the screen she always carried with her. The one Joy had seen her plug into the back of Irene’s neck for months. “The code ed up some stuff too, like it rendered several of her expressions unusable, as well as slowed her reaction time. I actually assume the eye-twitching you mentioned a few times also was the results of this.”

Joy, shook her head. Missing a stupid eye-twitch.

Yeri just watched her for a while. “So?”

Joy looked up in confusion, “so, what?”

Yeri rolled her eyes, “do you seriously not listen to me? I just told you that I took her code home to study it last time.”

Joy frowned. What did that have to… Her eyes grew wide… “You… still have it?”

Yeri flicked her eyebrows, satisfied smile upon her face. “I do.”

Joy pushed herself up from the coffee table. She shouldn’t get her hopes up. But… “Can you restore it?”

Yeri scoffed, “I don’t like the implication of that statement, that I would not be able to in any universe, really.”

Her smug smile disappeared as her hands trailed down Joy’s arms until she could grab a hold of her hands. Her tone was serious when she started talking again, “I can,” she said, giving Joy a moment to process it before she continued, “if you are sure this is what you want.”

Joy knew what she was asking. She wasn’t just asking about restoring Irene. She was asking if Joy was sure she wanted this life. With Irene. Because it wasn’t normal. And Irene would never feel the way she felt about her. Joy knew all that though. She had thought about it non-stop. But honestly, if Irene’s absence had told her anything – it was that she definitely wanted this. Whatever ‘this’ was. Even if it was just them living together like before. Like weird friends. She would take it. Anything.

She let out a breath, suddenly feeling a whole lot calmer than she had seconds earlier. She squeezed Yeri’s hands. “You are a good friend.” She nodded, “I am sure.”

Yeri shot her a smile in return, giving her a short nod. No questions asked. She let go of Joy’s hands.

“This will take a while. It’s a lot of code to compile.” She  moved behind Irene. Pressing her fingers down into the robot’s next. Irene’s eyes closed. Joy felt relieved.

-

Yeri hadn’t lied when she said it would take a while. At some point Joy had actually fallen asleep. Maybe because finally, she was feeling some sort of relief. Some sort of hope. She was a little bit disoriented when Yeri shook her awake by her shoulder.

“Oh, sorry. I…” Her sentence died out as she absently looked over Yeri’s shoulder. Irene. The sun had gone down at some point and the room was pretty dark. Joy looked around, eventually reaching behind her to find the switch for the small lamp she had positioned strategically next to the couch. The room got engulfed in a warm yellow light.

“Did it work?” Joy eventually inquired.

Yeri shrugged, “you tell me.”

Joy couldn’t help but remember the last time she had been the one to say that. She didn’t know why was so dry. In anticipation? Or fear of being disappointed? He unconsciously wet her lips, finally getting up and taking a few steps towards Irene.

She didn’t know what to say. What to ask. Lucky for her, she didn’t have to start.

“You are unsure if I am me.”

And just like that, Joy knew it was her. It had to be. What other robot would know what a human was thinking just by looking at them?

“Remember when you got scared? That first night when you came to check on me in the pantry, and I started talking to you?”

“I thought you were inactive.”

“I know.”

Joy blinked, before an incredulous smile made its way to her face, in between heated cheeks. “You did that on purpose?”

Irene tilted her head to the side. In a way the ‘new’ Irene had never done. It elicited that same feeling in Joy’s belly once more. “Correct.”

And just like that, that smile. Just momentarily before it was gone again. But it was brighter than any smile Joy had caught in the last few weeks.

“My body feels strange,” Irene started talking again. She held out her arms and it took Joy a moment to realize.

She reached out, holding onto one of Irene’s lower arms. “Yes. I asked for an upgrade. Just so I won’t have bruises anymore.”

Irene didn’t look up to meet her eyes. Instead she merely started poking herself. Discovering her new skin that actually felt fleshy. Soft. Yet when Irene hadn’t been Irene, Joy hadn’t even cared for the stupid upgrade.

Joy looked back at Yeri. She had her eyebrows raised as she watched Irene in fascination.

“She looks like a confused puppy. I do think the previous Irene was more efficient.”

Joy smiled, “Efficiency is overrated.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Joy hadn’t spoken to Irene about anything special. About what had happened. About her feelings. About anything like that. Instead, they both seemed to avoid any heavy topics. Merely enjoying each other’s company. As if they just needed to catch up on ‘regular life’. Just enjoying the amazing dinner Irene prepared for her every day. Watching tv together. Or even when Joy was working, just glancing at Irene who was reading a book in the couch. It would remind Joy that this was in fact her Irene. Not the behavior of a robot. Irene had become something in between robot and human. And Joy would never be able to let go of that anymore. Irene had a soul. Of that she was sure!

She had felt herself calm down again in the next days. She felt happy. Satisfied with her life as it was.

Only one time had she doubted. “What do you want, Irene?”

She had expected to hear it. To be unshackled. But Irene, after a long moment of contemplation, said something unexpected. “I want to be near fresh laundry. I like the smell of it.”

While it was certainly cute, it was still confusing. “You don’t wish to be unshackled?” She had prodded.

“No,” the answer had come immediately, the rest of it following as if she had her response prepared after having thought on it for ages, “I want you to lead me. I trust you with my life.”

It had taken Joy by surprise. The dedication with which Irene spoke. Yet at the same time, “trusting someone, especially your owner, has no meaning if you are shackled. The fact that you would trust me without having a protocol that forced you to – that is what would make it special.”

Irene stared at her, and by now Joy knew that she was processing her words. She gave her some time. Yet, once more, Irene surprised her.

“It is not the only reason. I don’t trust myself to be unshackled anymore.”

Joy had frowned, before she had unconsciously taken a hold of Irene’s hand. The only change she would happily accept. The fact that Irene’s hands were soft now. “I trust you too,” she said.

“Thank you,” Irene’s eyes were stuck upon their touching hands. “But I have experienced negative feelings while unshackled. Even now, I can remember them.”

“Feelings?” That couldn’t be right.

Irene frowned, “thoughts more like, I suppose.” That made more sense. Although weren’t they similar? Weren’t they so connected it was hard to tell the difference? Joy didn’t know if she could part her own. Then again, that was probably what made her human to begin with.

“What kind of thoughts?”

“Concerning ones.”

“Irene, tell me. Specifically,” for better or worse, Joy knew that would force her to. For she had to obey. Still.

Irene spoke without hesitance. “I had thoughts of loneliness and anger whenever you were with Seulgi. I do not want to experience this any longer. I want you to be happy. With Seulgi.”

Irene mentioned thoughts. Yet Joy could only think that ‘loneliness’ and ‘anger’ were most definitely feelings. Maybe it was wishful thinking.

Still, Irene’s words had Joy smile. Because they meant a lot.

“Irene, those are nothing to be shackled away.” She brought her other hand to join the first now, fully engulfing Irene’s small hand. “Besides, Seulgi will not be coming here anymore.”

Blank face, yet focused eyes. “Why?”

Joy pursed her lips. Almost saying more than she was ready to. “Because she liked me more than I liked her.” It wasn’t a lie.

“Did she not affect you the way I do?”

Joy felt her eyes grow wide. Was Irene saying things that meant something different entirely to her again? Or… was she in fact very aware of what she was asking? Joy felt her face heat up.

“Like now. With your increasing heat levels and dilating pupils.”

To be fair, how was she hiding this to a robot with extreme perception skills? Joy looked down. “Exactly.”

She cleared , feeling a little too vulnerable. “Anyway, what I am trying to say is – you can’t become you again as long as you are controlled Irene. As long as your life is controlled. You deserve to have a life.”

“Okay.”

-------------------

AN: 1 more chapter left to wrap it up after this! :) Thank you for having stick around through this genre I am not really used to writing hehe. (Hhuh, is this my first multi-chap non-?) 

See you next week! ♥