I just cried again thinking about you. Even on this peaceful night, you crossed my mind. Our memories together aren't all sad but no matter which moment I revisit the pain just swallows me. Because now I can't hug you when I want to, can't kiss you when I feel like it, can't call you to say I miss you. I promised to never let you go until the day you wanted me gone, but what is this? How can you leave me behind? Now I have to pick up every shard of what used to be my heart which belonged to you. And I heal my cuts even as I realise that the fallen pieces don't fit together anymore. Because now you're not here to hold it together. You won't answer my calls and run over the moment I say that I miss you. You won't hug me while I cry on your shoulder. You won't kiss me good night and wish me 'sweet dreams'.

It's funny how the few years we were together felt so short, but what hasn't even been a year since you left felt like an eternity. It seems that time stopped the moment you left because no matter how much I wait I'll never get you back.

I want to go find you. Not at the cold, quiet, dead place where you lay — that's not who you are to me. I want to go find your warmth. I want to bring you back because you're my cute, handsome, charming, hot boyfriend. You're funny, creative, eccentric, curious, and cheerful and I love these about you. But above all, you are loving, understan