There were a few things Sehun had to tell Jongin, but he didn't really have the heart to. Like how his mother had dropped the bomb that he would also be having an arranged marriage! Unlike Jongin's parents, Sehun's mother didn't reveal anything about who he'd marry, and in a way, that made him feel better about it. He wasn't interested in whoever it was and he hadn't even met the person yet, man or woman.

He was so involved in his thoughts that he only realized Jongin had arrived at the park when he felt someone embrace him. The crunch of the browned leaves should've alerted Sehun, but he hadn't heard it since he was engaged in a debate with himself with regards to whether he should tell his boyfriend about this major change or not. It wouldn't be fair to keep it from him, but on the other hand, Jongin had done exactly the same to keep their relationship safe for as long as possible. Still, the taller man preferred that this came from his own mouth instead of having Jongin find out via the news. It would hurt him to a great extent.

“I almost thought you weren't coming...or was I just early?” Sehun murmured the last bit more to himself. He wouldn't really know since he had guided himself here on autopilot; he didn't remember majority of the journey. This whole marriage thing was weighing down on him more than he wanted to let on.
“No, I was a little late. For some reason, my parents stuck around much more than I thought they would. What's this?” The shorter one asked as he pointed at the checkered blanket on the green and yellow grass, set up with a few different things to eat.
“It's for us. I thought it'd be nice to have a...sort of...nice date,” Sehun chuckled as he observed the pockies and iced coffee he had bought amongst other things. He wondered if his future partner liked these sorts of dates.
Ugh! Even in a special moment like this, he was thinking of something so trivial which had so much power to ruin it! He hadn't seen Jongin for some time, and this was what Sehun had to think about the whole time?

“It's wonderful! I'm glad we decided to do this at nighttime when the birds aren't around. I'm sure they'd come swooping down to steal our stuff,” Jongin exclaimed as he sat down on the blanket, and Sehun was brought out of his shell of thoughts as he did the same. As usual, his boyfriend had a lot to say about anything and everything, and Sehun only had to hum and nod from time to time to encourage him. This was one of the nice things about their relationship - Sehun wasn't much of a talker, but Jongin made up for it. He didn't expect his boyfriend to say much, but that only made things easier. Sehun knew he didn't have to pretend to be something he wasn't. And anyway, it was rather comforting hearing the constant thrum of Jongin's voice as he spoke about his day or something he had encountered that grabbed his interest.

“Are you okay?” Jongin asked eventually; he had noticed it the moment he arrived that Sehun wasn't his usual self, but he thought it was just the cold getting to him. However, he hadn't gotten out a jacket or anything, and he wasn't complaining about it, so that couldn't be the problem.
“Of course. Why wouldn't I be?” Sehun asked as he sipped his boba tea, smiling afterwards to reassure the other one. The taller one obviously wasn't putting enough effort into the conversation and it had sent off alarm signals to Jongin.
“I'm not sure. Did something happen?” He tilted his head to one side before he gulped down more of his iced coffee; he hadn't always been a fan of coffee, but it was now his favorite drink which was why Sehun bought it for him tonight. He was the same with boba tea.
“No. Nothing at all,” Sehun shook his head, took a long sip of his beverage as he avoided his boyfriend's eyes, then held up the small box of strawberries he brought.
“Are we really going to let these go to waste?” He asked as a way of changing the subject. There were many things Sehun could do to and with Jongin, but lying to him wasn't one of them.

Of course, Jongin knew something was up. He knew Sehun too well not to know when something was on his mind. It must've been something big for him to be so detached from his surroundings.

He didn't want to push the issue and possibly upset Sehun, so he picked a strawberry out of the box to eat. It was sweet but sour, similar to the situation right now. It was sweet to be with Sehun, but sour things were certainly approaching them both, and a rapid pace too.

As Sehun munched on the fruit, a little smile made its way onto his face as he watched Jongin snuggle more into his thick winter coat. The seasons were definitely changing, and it was getting colder each day, so seeing this from Jongin wasn't surprising.

“Do you think we'll get to see the first snow together?” The taller man murmured as he played with the stem of a strawberry he had just finished, the sour taste still on his lips and tongue.
“Sure. I mean, why wouldn't we?” Jongin said, but they both knew the answer to that. They could deny it all they wanted, but they knew it was inevitable that they'd split up.
Sehun still smiled, “yeah, we'll make a plan,”

The park around them was awfully quiet, only an owl and an occasional car being heard. It wasn't an eery type of silence; it was a calming sort of quiet, soothing both men to a certain extent. They were still wrapped up in their thoughts and worries about who they'd marry, but it wasn't as stressful as when they were alone in their rooms. Just being in one another's presence was relaxing.

“Have you started looking at different colleges yet?” Jongin asked, grabbing a slab of chocolate from the blanket to open, breaking a piece off for his boyfriend.
“No. I think I'll go through the whole college process some other time. Right now, I want to pursue my modeling career,” Sehun replied as he ate the sweet treat.
“Your parents are okay with that?” His boyfriend's eyebrows rose as he leaned on his hands. He knew Sehun's parents were very laid-back about things, and he was often jealous of that.
“Of course. They don't care enough to tell me what to do. I'm sure they enjoyed having a kid just for the publicity of it all,” Sehun hummed out; he wasn't bitter about it. He had made peace with it. He mused that he wasn't as important as their business deals, and eventually he stopped trying to convince himself otherwise. It was probably the truth. Having a son was nothing more than good press.
“But if they didn't have you, then we wouldn't be here right now. Even if they're not that great, I'm still appreciative to them for making you,” Jongin smiled as he sat closer to Sehun, and taller man slid an arm around the other one's waist with an amused smile.
“Yeah? Then I guess there's an upside to being their son,” He chuckled before he gave his boyfriend a chaste kiss.

Jongin took out the box of pockies instead, taking one of the sticks to put in between his lips.
“What? Do you expect me to do that thing couples do with pockies?” Sehun asked as the outer edges of his eyebrows turned up while the insides turned down; all his friends always commented about how fascinating it was that his eyebrows had expressions of their own.
“Yes!” Jongin said, the stick still in between his teeth, “come on!”
“Do I look like I do things like that?” Sehun asked in an exasperated voice. That didn't stop him from taking the other side of his pocky with his teeth, though.
“You smoke weed, why is this such an issue?” Jongin's words were a little muffled considering he couldn't move his mouth that much to speak, and he laughed as Sehun rolled his eyes in a playful manner.

They bit the stick slowly at first, and Sehun had to grin when he saw his boyfriend beginning to giggle. It was a little amusing to be doing this if he was honest - they were acting like teenagers! Especially since they were sneaking around their parents to meet.
As soon as the stick was finished, they didn't pull away like most people did, and instead let their lips meet one another's. Since it had been such a long time, this was certainly refreshing, not to mention it woke up the butterflies in their stomaches. They hadn't gotten to give one another a long kiss like this for a while, and Jongin was suddenly glad they hadn't scheduled this date for during the day when everyone could see them.

He wasn't sure how it happened, but his back soon met the soft blanket, and he could detect the faint taste of chocolate of the pocky on Sehun's lips. He was sure he could even find the strawberry taste somewhere there as well.

However, this moment only lasted a few seconds before Sehun's dormant mind began stirring up trouble again. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd feel this much excitement eventually with his future spouse - how long would it take if it did happen? Five years? Ten? What if it never happened? Or worse, what if he just never grew to love this person? He didn't want to live out his days just tolerating someone.
He was so curious about how he'd react to his new partner, but at the same time, he hated the thought of having to touch or look at the same way he did with Jongin. Sehun couldn't explain why, but it just felt awfully wrong to even consider something like that.

It was strange then - all this thinking of what his future spouse would be like tricked him in such a way that he began believing he was kissing some faceless person he knew nothing about. He tried to convince himself that it was Jongin (really, who else would it be?), but Sehun simply couldn't find that same comfortable spot again, and he pulled away.

As expected, Jongin noticed the sudden change in atmosphere.
“What's wrong? You say you're okay, but it's obvious you're not!” He demanded to know now. He let it slide for majority of the night, but now he needed to get to the root of the problem.
“Nothing, I jus-”
“Bull!” The shorter one cut him off.
Sehun huffed and puffed, still trying to recover from that sudden uncomfortable feeling caused by his own brain, then blurted out, “I'm getting married too, okay?”
Jongin made a noise similar to “pft” as he heard this, “that's not a very funny thing to say, and you know it!”
“...you 𝑎𝑟𝑒 kidding, right?” He had to check when Sehun didn't provide an answer to his previous statement.
“No. It's true. My mother told me yesterday. She didn't say who it is, not even if it's a man or woman. She just announced I'd be marrying someone of her choosing, and then she went on with her day as if it wouldn't affect me,” Sehun nearly said everything in one breath, and in a way, it felt like a release. He had been mulling over it ever since he heard it, and while he told his friends, it didn't help him much since the one who'd be hurt the most was Jongin.

The shorter man sat there dumbfounded, “but...but...but you said your parents are never around! You said you don't have to do anything you don't want to when it comes to them and they won't care!”
“I know, but this isn't just something small. You understand where I'm coming from! You know how this feels!” Sehun said.
“So you're just going to get married without even trying to stop it?” Jongin knew he was being selfish, but how was he supposed to react to something like this?
“Did you try stopping your own marriage?” Sehun retorted in a grumble, and Jongin let out a breath through his mouth from disbelief.
“Of course I did! You should know I'd never just roll over for something that could come between us. I've done everything I could,”
“Everything you could? Really, Jongin? All you did was throw a tantrum like a child. Did anything come from that? If you really wanted to, you'd say we could run away or something,”
“We come from rich families that are always worried about the wrong type of publicity. Both our marriages are to make them look good as it is! And now you think I can just run away? I'm not even supposed to be seeing you right now. Just because your parents don't care what happens to you doesn't mean mine are the same!”
“I'd go against them for you! I've always said it, Jongin, and I've meant it! When I said I wanted to marry you, I meant that too! I would do much more than just kick and scream about this marriage. Clearly, we don't think the same,”
“Are you trying to say I wouldn't want to marry you, Sehun? After everything we've been through?”
“It doesn't look like it to me. If you really wanted to, you would've done more to make our own marriage happen. But I guess it's just me who would've gone against parents and even the world for you. Maybe these marriages are a good thing,”

Jongin felt his insides turn into flame, and he gritted his teeth from anger, “that's not fair and you know it!”
Even though he was trying to stay mad, his feelings were already deeply hurt.
“Isn't it? I've loved you endlessly! I've never given you a reason to believe I'd let you go, even if it was for something like this. But you just let your parents dictate to you what you should do even when it comes to me. How do you think I'm supposed to feel when seeing how easily you're ready to move on?” Sehun wasn't someone who got angry easily, and he wasn't a person who liked yelling either, but he was close to increasing his volume enough to be yelling.
“I don't want to move on! I just...” Jongin sighed, “I have to do what they say,”
Sehun knew there was no point to any of this - Jongin wouldn't see things his way, and Sehun refused to settle like his boyfriend did.

“Then do that. You won't have any interference from me anymore,” It was hard to come to this conclusion, but Sehun couldn't see any other option. He knew it'd just hurt more the longer they kept doing this, and it'd get more dangerous to be seen together once they were married to their separate partners. Knowing Jongin, he'd become too antsy and afraid, so Sehun was doing what would be coming later anyway.
“You don't mean that. You can't,” Jongin whimpered now, all his anger vanishing immediately, “you can't break up with me!”
Sehun looked away, staying silent. If he looked at the sad face of Jongin's now, he knew he'd crack and try to find a solution to their current situation as always. He couldn't break now. He had to stay firm on his decision.
“I won't settle for just half of you. I won't have you around only when your husband is away. It's either me or him,” Sehun said softly, like they weren't on the borderline of having a shouting match just a few seconds ago.
“Don't do this to me, Sehun. You know I can't turn my back on either one,” Jongin shook his head, and although Sehun glanced away, the shorter man could see the sadness swimming in his eyes. It was obvious and undeniable, and Jongin immediately felt guilty.
“Then it's settled,” Sehun's voice took on such a cold edge, it felt like Jongin was talking to a stranger. He shuddered.

He knew no matter what he said now, nothing would change Sehun's mind - he was just stubborn like that - and so the shorter man decided it was better to go home. He needed to be alone, for one, and he felt so heartbroken and blindsided that he just wanted to wrap himself in his blankets and stuff his face with ice cream. Maybe, if he was lucky, the time would pass by quickly and everyone would somehow forget he existed so he wouldn't have to get married.

But alas, the world wasn't like that.

Sehun couldn't help it when he let out a defeated sigh as he got up from the blanket after Jongin had rushed off. He had lost the love of his life, but it didn't help trying to make things work. He'd have to live with his decision, as much as he hated it, and he'd have to learn to move on from Jongin, or simply love him from afar. Either one would hurt endlessly, but there was nothing more Sehun could do.