one [wən]: wonders by wonders, i wonder 'bout you

he'd be lying if he said he never thought about it. something about the antagonism between them means the younger never really leaves his mind. hell, every high-five he'll ever give in his entire life will be stained with the memory of him. he's not vain enough to presume it works the other way, of course… which may not help with the whole antagonism thing, actually.

people say there's a fine line between love and hate, and he knows it better than anyone. so yes, he's thought about it. it just so happens he thinks about it all the time.

 

hun [hən]: honey, tell me what else money can do

he tells yesung he's craving rolled ice cream and gets laughed at in the face. "you know that stopped being a thing, like, two summers ago, right?"

"i happen to know a place," siwon interjects from somewhere. all of a sudden ryeowook doesn't want rolled ice cream anymore. siwon takes him anyway and pays without offering. it almost offends him.

"you can't buy happiness." ryeowook grumbles out of honey-stained lips, apropos of something nonspecific but present.

"of course not," siwon agrees easily, "but you can buy convenience, and sometimes they're the same thing. sometimes, we could use convenience even more."

 

dred [dred]: dreading the moment i'm bedding for two

when he imagines his future home, he imagines the super junior dorms. kyuhyun will get his own bed, the fridge will always be full, but it'll be just like now: fit to burst with people and antics and so much noise.

he knows he should want something different, something private, but how can he? no single person can recreate the fullness of belonging that super junior taught him-

"shhhh, you're thinking too loud," siwon whispers with his eyes closed.

ryeowook sends him a glare anyway. siwon doesn't even sleep in this room! why is he here complaining about thought volume!?

 

fol [fôl]: falling in love like we're falling apart

"i'm telling you we were supposed to take that last exit!"

"and i'm telling you that can't be right!"

"how would you even know? you only drive on closed tracks for your audi commercials!"

"that's not even remotely true? listen, if we took that last exit, we'd end up in that town with the-"

"-oh my god, that cute little town with the fountain?! i love that place."

"i know."

"we should go back sometime."

"we should."

mollified, ryeowook leans back into the passenger seat and pulls out his phone.

horrified, the other members in the car exchange what-the--just-happened-here glances.

 

lo [lō]: lower me six feet lower in your heart

"don't you understand? i can't give you my heart," he exclaims through tears.

"i don't want it anyway!"

that is not what ryeowook expected to hear.

siwon continues, calmer this time, "i'm already in there somewhere, aren't i?"

ryeowook meekly nods.

"then leave me be. don't even pay attention to me. continue living like you always have, and i will make room for myself. if ever you feel too full, then i'll leave, and you can have emptiness again."

"… how is that fair to you?"

"you told me once that there's nothing you want from me. here it is."

 

wers [wərs]: worse comes to worse comes to words in the dark

after their biggest fight, they both decide to stay.
no one leaves in anger; no one quits in rage.

they take turns brushing teeth. they turn off all the lights.
they burrow into bed, but no one sleeps that night.

"would it make you angry if i meant what i said?"
"not as angry as if you lied to me instead."

something's changed between them; the distance has been breached.
emotionally, yes; physically, it's a reach.

each with a hand splayed out, their palms and fingers touch.
it holds a promise,
sure as dawn is;
for these two, that's enough.