Seo Jin turns to face Su-Ryeon, her eyes devoid of any emotions and close the distance between them.

“Shim Su-Ryeon…If you didn’t appear in my life, my life would have been perfect. My family would have been reunited. I wouldn’t have gotten involved with that jerk Joo Dan Tae. Eun Byeol, me and…” Tears roll on her cheeks and Su-Ryeon’s chest fills with anger and indignation.

“...Even with her father…Our family would have been happy”

The word “happiness” sounds foreign and devoid of meaning to Su-Ryeon as she repeats it back to her arch-enemy.

“Happiness ? You don’t have any right to be happy” her stare becomes icy.

“There won’t be any more “happiness” for you in this life”

“Because it will end here…when I fall in this cold water, at this moment, your freedom and any idea of happiness and hope will vanish forever” thinks Su-Ryeon.

Seo-Jin doesn’t blink and looks calmly in the direction of the sirens who keep getting louder. Su-Ryeon wonders how she can be so serene. Seo-Jin turns to look at Su-Ryeon again and Su-Ryeon understands that Seo-Jin will do her part perfectly. She walks threateningly toward Su-Ryeon, with that same empty stare.

“I can’t finish like this . I won’t die all alone!” She lunges at Su-Ryeon and grabs her by the shoulders. Their feet scrunch against the gravel as they struggle. Su-Ryeon tries to imprint it in her memory, her last contact on the stable and solid ground.

 

Su-Ryeon’s heart is beating so fast she feels out of breath as she grasps Seojin’s arm.

“Cheon Seo Jin ! Don’t do this ! No !”

She feels the wind battling her back and looks rapidly up, where Logan is holding a devastated Eun Byeol in his arms. He tilts his head and releases Eun Byeol slowly.

“I am so sorry…Logan, everyone…” She loses contact with the ground and topples over with a scream. Seo-Jin looks at her in utter disbelief.

“Don’t look at me like that…as if it was unfair…” she thinks, her world spinning the mere seconds it takes for her body to enter the water.

 

A small current drags her away from the shore. From where she is, she cannot hear anything, as if she is in a bubble.

“We’re almost there. Once we’re done, let’s leave together…I don’t care where to…”

She chases away his words coming back to her mind.

She clenches her fists to suppress her urge to swim toward the surface, letting her body sink deeper in the water.

 

“For a while, I dreamed of living happily with you. I believed Seol Ah sent you to me. I felt so safe and comfortable in your arms…there were many moments when I felt I never wanted to leave you…But I’ve lost too many people I love to keep on dreaming with you…Ae-Gyo, Yoonhee, Yoonchul…I have to meet them and beg for forgiveness. Our deaths aren’t vain…because we were able to protect our children. “

 

Her mind is finally reaching calmness, even if a lingering pain settles in her lungs.

“You told me you had promised Seol Ah to make me happy…Thank you for keeping your promise. Thanks to you, I shamelessly lived a happy life” She stops her inner monologue, the pain in her lungs becoming unbearable. In the distance, the water whirl rapidly as if something entered the water, but she feels so faint she doesn’t pay any attention to it.

“We can’t leave together…so don’t follow me. Stay here and make yourself happy this time”

Two hands cup her cheeks and it takes her all her remaining strength to open her eyes.

“Aaaaah…I must be losing my mind already, but it’s fine…seeing you here…I couldn’t imagine something better before I leave” She places her hands on Logan’s. “I really love you too”

A light kiss before everything fades to darkness...

---

At the hospital, after Su-Ryeon has been brought to the emergency room.

 

In the emergency room, his hands pressed on the glass letting him see everything as doctors and nurses busy themselves to reanimate Su-Ryeon, Logan takes a heavy breath after her pulse finally restarts and it occurs to him that he held it up for way too long as he is feeling faint. An absolute chaos of rushed voices and steps, noises of machinery are around him but he doesn’t pay any attention to it. He listens to the doctor who comes out of the emergency room and words keep circling in his mind losing their meaning instantly.

 

It’s almost as if it's not him grabbing the poor man by the collar when he is told that she might not wake up because she was taken out of water maybe slightly too late.

“She might not wake up…Say something that makes sense ! She has to wake up…Do something, aren’t you a doctor ?” His voice is rising dangerously and Mr. Hong grabs him gently by the shoulders to make him sit down, apologizing profusely to the doctor.

The children next to them are listless apart from Seok Kyung who is crying. The double door opens and Eun Byeol walks toward them. Logan stares blankly as Seok Kyung stands up abruptly and lunges at Eun Byeol.

“How dare you come here ?!”

A slap is given and people rush to separate the two screaming girls. Logan takes his painfully heavy head in his hands, wishing everything would stop.

 

The next day.

 

Seok Hoon stands up after hearing the door slide and nods at Logan who has just entered.

“You’re here…Mom, I will be back soon”

Logan gets seated next to Su-Ryeon. Once Seok Hoon is out, Logan opens his hand slowly, revealing Su-Ryeon’s engagement’s ring.

“Su-Ryeon-ssi…It’s not true, right ? It must be a misunderstanding. Maybe…you just forgot to put the belt on, right ?” He takes her hand, tears blurring his vision.

“Please tell me…I’m wrong…you never wanted to do this…I beg you”

Only the sound of the respirator answers him. He rests his head on her hand and closes his eyes. It’s difficult to even breathe since he went back to their hotel room to find the ring and the belt, untouched at its place, in its case.

Hopelessness is eating him alive from the inside. He can’t ask her anything. He can’t tell it to anyone either. What is he going to do ?

---

Su-Ryeon hears the sound of water and smiles.

“Are we there yet ? just where are you bringing me ?”

“Careful, there is a rock here, you’re not looking, right ?” Su-Ryeon shakes her head.

“How can I look ?”

“True, just take another step…” Logan removes his hands from her eyes. Su-Ryeon lets out a gasp. The sun is peering through the branches and in front of her a river shut in, the bright blue water contrasting perfectly with the brick red rocks of the hills circling the body of water.

“I found it….it’s just like your painting.”

“It’s amazing…I didn’t even know such a place existed. Thank you, really” Logan smiles proudly.

“It’s nothing…” Su-Ryeon takes a few steps and looks at the water flowing in front of her. Logan joins her and takes her hand.

“But…” she starts.

“Yes ?”

“We cannot be truly here” Logan frowns.

“Why ?”

“I won’t go anywhere with you…because I already left you behind”

The forest behind them gets oddly silent and Logan smiles, uneasiness gaining him.

“What are you talking about, Su-Ryeon-ssi ?” The colors around get duller, he reaches his hand to her hair and a small drop lands on his hand from her wet hair. He takes a step back as her complexion gets paler.

“You know…remember…”

“I don’t want to hear it” She smiles sadly at him.

“I want to wake up, please stop”

“I’m not in this world anymore…”

“No !” he flashes his eyes open. The machinery and the diffuser are humming peacefully in the room. The wind is rushing in with the distant sound of waves as he let the window open earlier. He props himself up quickly. She is still breathing peacefully, everything is alright, it was only a nightmare. Under his hand, a pamphlet with a beautiful waterfall.

“It’s only a nightmare, because I looked at this, that’s all” he reassures himself. A light knock on the door and a doctor steps in followed by Mr. Hong.

“You should rest, it’s time for her check-up.”

 

Logan stands up silently and throws another glance toward Su-Ryeon as the doctor checks on her. She can now breathe by herself but still no signs of consciousness.

They all decided that bringing her home would be better. Personal physicians were hired, high end equipment was installed. The location, Su-Ryeon never saw it. It was a surprise. Logan planned to show it to her after everything was over. A small house on the coasts, with large patio doors situated all around the house, with a gorgeous view of the sea.

---

Suryeon was expecting her whole existence flashing before her eyes, anything to happen but everything just faded to darkness. From there it’s as if she was deep asleep.

She hears a muffled, distant voice.

“That voice…it’s impossible” She sees brightness behind her closed eyelids, but she doesn’t move yet, her mind jumbled. She begins to open her eyes and see a white ceiling briefly.

“Su-Ryeon-ssi !” Su-Ryeon flashes her eyes open. She feels numb like after a long slumber. Above her head, no white ceiling, only the endless sky, gray as if it was going to rain at any moment.

She stands up and looks around her. She is in a grass field.

The scenery is strangely blurry but the colors are vivid, just like a very nice and detailed dream. She takes small steps, everything around her is very quiet, only a small breeze is stirring gently the grass. At first she doesn’t question anything. The answer is pretty obvious, she jumped in the water, she must be dead and as extraordinary as it looks she landed here.

 

She crosses fields and reaches a forest. As she progresses between the trees, a small drizzle begins to pour and flashes of lightning streak the darkening sky. The fine mist becomes a heavy rain and she is quickly drenched, her long black dress weighing her down as she keeps walking.

She takes support on a wet tree trunk and carries her hand to her chest, where a subtle anguish keeps growing since earlier.

Her children come to mind and feeling she is tearing up she shakes her head vigorously.

“I made the right choice…no I didn’t have any other choice…even if I am trapped alone here, it’s okay…it’s okay” She rubs reflexively her ring finger and the ring usually sitting there is missing. She recalls she left it behind her, in their hotel room.

“Logan…I’m scared…what is this place ?”

 

---

Logan rests Su-Ryeon’s head after adding another pillow and kisses her lightly on the cheek.

“You’re more comfortable this way, right ?” He takes her hand to slide it under the sheets and let out an admiring whistle. Someone, he reckons it’s Seok Kyung, painted her nails, with a small pearl on each.

“Wow, you are very pretty today. She even braided your hair…are you going on a date without telling me ?” Seok Hoon knocks on the doorframe and enters with Seok Kyung.

“We need to go now, the girls will look after her, don’t worry. Rona will be here in 15 minutes at most.”

 

Logan stands up and takes support on the bed frame, momentarily dizzy. He is almost at the door when Seok Kyung takes his arm.

“On second thoughts…I’m coming with you”

Seok Hoon and Logan frowns.

“It’s okay, I’m already accompanying him, there is Hye In and Mr. Hong too. It’s not some game, we are going to an hearing”

“Hye In has no much time left with mom. Besides, I want to be sure he eats something. We don’t need the teacher to collapse and add more trouble”

“I’m not some kid. I can look after myself just fine”

“Oh really ? you barely stand on your feet and you look like a fright. If Mom see you like that she will be scared…Anyway, it’s definite, I’m coming with you today”

“I didn’t know you cared that much about me…I’m moved beyond words”

Seok Kyung clicks her tongue.

“Like I said, we don’t need you old fart to collapse, we already have our hands full” she articulates each word slowly and Seok Hoon snickers behind her. He stops when she spins around, throwing him a dark glance.

“You’re so annoying, just let’s go already !”

She speaks in a cheerful tone to her mom.

“We’ll be back soon, Mom !” She drags Logan out of the room, Seok Hoon following after them.

 

---

A loud thunderclap peals near her and she is surprised that her heartbeat begins to race in answer. Her heart cannot beat anymore, right ? Another one explodes even nearer and she lets out a small cry. She begins to run aimlessly and cross a clearing, she moves aside branches on the way as she zigzags between the trees. She walks out the forest and keeps progressing, losing track of time, with nobody in sight. Why aren’t there anyone ? Is she going to spend eternity alone in this deserted place ? Something soft grazes her cheek and she carries her hand to it.

“What is this ?” she looks around her, warmth filling her chest. There is nothing in her surroundings. She takes a soothing breath.

“Okay. I need to keep going”

 

After walking some more, Su-Ryeon finally spots an imposing shadow in the distance. Bent over to regain a breathing that shouldn’t exist, she examines the villa in front of her. She hesitatingly takes the last steps separating her from the front door, who opens slowly and she comes face to face with Oh Yoonhee who after overcoming her surprise takes her in her arms.

“Unni ! ” As Yoonhee is holding her close Su-Ryeon smells a hint of cotton-candy coming from her friend. Su-Ryeon breaks away from her. She can’t believe it, her friend looks and feels so real. Even her tears are warm as she wipes it from her cheeks.

“Yoonhee…is it really you ?” her friends nod.

“I missed you so much” Yoonhee smiles through her tears.

“Me too…I really, really missed you”

Pastel colors, plush furniture, soft lights circled by coppery lamps and fluffy rugs, the room with a definite feminine touch make you at ease instantly.

“It’s so strange…it looks exactly like…everything is normal ?” she wonders as she keeps looking around her.

Su-Ryeon gaze stops on a bouquet of flowers.

“These flowers…it can’t be…” Yoonhee takes her hand and jolts her out of her thoughts.

“Unni…what happened exactly ? why are you here ?”

Su-Ryeon doesn’t want to think about it, it’s too painful, her hands begin to tremble. She clutches on the fabric of her dress and smiles at Yoonhee.

“Let’s talk about it later…” Letting her eyes wander across the room again, she asks what has been troubling her since earlier. To whom do the paintings and drawings hang on the walls ? She points to the bouquet.

“These flowers…I saw them before. I bought it, I’m sure…is…Seol Ah, is she here ?”

Yoonhee considers her briefly. It seems asking more for the moment is no use. She will try again later.

“I understand…Follow me unni”

Yoonhee stands up and leads her in a corridor, and Su-Ryeon’s heart starts to beat faster again. Her friend has the hand on the doorknob. What if…what if Seol Ah is really behind that door ? They open the door and her heart sinks, the room is empty.

“Strange…where did she go?” says Yoonhee with a frown. Su-Ryeon is about to turn back with disappointment when an easel in the center of the room attracts her attention.

She rushes to it and her heart skips a beat. She grazes the paper with her trembling fingers.

It’s her, a flowing white dress cascading with a long train. She is holding hands with Logan and both are looking at each other with a radiant smile. The picture is not finished yet but she can see a portion of a stained glass behind the happy couple.

Yoonhee approaches her slowly while she keeps staring at the painting becoming blurry with her eyes filling with tears.

“She was really happy when she found out for you two…your engagement. She kept talking about the wedding, and how your love was a miracle”

“A miracle…Seol Ah…Mom is so sorry…”

---

They are about to turn back when the door flies open and someone grabs her by the shoulder, making her spin around.

Yoonhee jumps beside Su-Ryeon as Aegyo glowers at her, her hand still on her shoulder.

“You…come with me” she grabs her by the hand and drags her across the corridor. Su-Ryeon shakes her off but Aegyo grabs her again and the glint in her eye leaves no room for discussion. They cross the living room again and Ae Gyo kicks the front door open.

“Let me go…let’s talk…” Su-Ryeon protests but Aegyo ignores her and kicks the front door open. They climb down the small series of steps of the porch. Ae Gyo shoves her aside and crosses her arms on her chest. She releases her in the living room and crosses her arms on her chest.

Su-Ryeon rubs her aching wrist.

“What are you doing ? My daughter is here right ? I need to see her '' Ae-Gyo pushes her again. On the doorstep, Yoonhee’s eyes keep going from the two women who face each other.

 

“You’ve got some nerves coming here and going calmly to see your daughter, as if nothing happened at all…you have no right…I won’t let you see her” Su-Ryeon looks at her as if she had been slapped.

“What does she mean I don’t have the right to see her ?” she thinks. Yoonhee approaches them cautiously.

“Aegyo-unni….you don’t have to be so harsh”

“Shut up” snaps Aegyo without looking at her before pointing a finger at Su-Ryeon.

“You just go back from where you went, I don’t want you here” Su-Ryeon tilts her head.

“I just don’t understand why you are being so hostile with me…”

“You…you don’t understand ?” Aegyo shakes her head with disbelief.

“I…I trusted you. I wasn’t the best mother in the world. I was terrible even. But I really loved the kids…I thought that with you they would be happy and would have the life I couldn’t give them…and yet…”

 

“Seojin would have never stopped. It was the best decision I could make to ensure they are safe ! don’t talk as if you know everything !”

Aegyo breaks into laughter.

“Don’t play that card with me. You ran away that’s all” she closes the distance between the two and grabs her by the collar. Su-Ryeon looks down at her hands.

 

“Do you know ? I was so scared in that dark place…when that bastard digged that icy blade mercilessly in my back…you cannot think about anything but terror and pain. Strength is leaving your body, cold is settling inside you and you understand…ah, I’m going to die…it’s over…” Aegyo clutches on the fabric of Su-Ryeon’s dress.

 

“I wanted to be happy. For the first time in my life I was about to be with the man I love…But if it was for you, I thought that I could take it. I could bear that pain, that longing, that regret… maybe my life wouldn’t be in vain after all…” she shoves Su-Ryeon away abruptly.

“How could you toss away your life like this ?”

Su-Ryeon swallows with difficulty, tears blurring her vision. She has to hold up, she can.

“I love him so much too…who do you think you are ?” thinks Su-Ryeon, clenching her fists.

“I…”

A noise behind interrupts the two women. Ae-Gyo squints her eyes. Yoonchul is on the ground a few meters away from the three women, scanning the ground, as if searching for something.

“Why is he here again ? What an idiot”

“Yoonchul-ssi” Yoon Chul freezes and Su-Ryeon walks toward him. Yoonhee attempts to follow her but Ae-Gyo stops her by the arm.

“I don’t think so”

“But…”

Su-Ryeon kneels in front of him and lands her hand on his shoulder.

“Su…Su-Ryeon-ssi ? Why are you here ? Don’t tell me, Seojin…”

“I will tell you everything…give me some time” her tone leaves no room for discussion.

Su-Ryeon notices he doesn’t look at her directly.

“Don’t tell me…you can’t see anything ? it’s impossible…” His gaze unfocused, he smiles at her.

“Oh…somehow, it never came back…Do you see something on the ground ?” Su-Ryeon lowers her gaze and fetches something.

“A pen ?” Yoonchul’s smile turns hopeful.

“Did you find it ?”

Su-Ryeon observes it without answering.

“It can’t be…it’s the pen Rona wanted to give him…it’s impossible his memorial was already held, I just fell a few hours ago, right ?” her mind is racing. She indeed walked for a long time, but a few hours at most, not days. Time seems to be flowing differently here. Then…She must be dead for a few days already ?

“Su-Ryeon-ssi ?” Su-Ryeons snaps out of her thoughts.

“I found it”

“Thank you…I don’t know where it comes from…When I wake…when I arrived here, I was holding onto it. I don’t know why, but it seems precious…Can you…” He grazes the surface of the pen, on the engraving.

“Can you tell me…what’s written on it ?”

Su-Ryeon smiles at him.

“Neuro-surgeon Ha Yoon Chul…do you know who it is from ?”

 

---

Rona gets seated next to Su-Ryeon and takes her hand. A sweet orange scent is emanating from the diffuser. The scent is very soothing and she could use some comfort right now. Rona takes Su-Ryeon’s hand.

“Ahjumma…I just…I just went to see…Dad, I mean Ahjussi before coming here. Eun Byeol was here too. Do you think…I should forgive her ? She said she would testify against her mother…but isn’t that too late ? What should I do ? Ahjumma…you have to wake up. We need to leave soon with Hye-In. Logan…he act as everything is fine, but I know...he is not in his normal state...He needs you, we need you...Please come back quick, Ahjumma..."

 

---

“Ahjumma…”

“Who ?” She looks around her, an faint orange smell is lingering around her.

“Su-Ryeon-ssi ?” Su-Ryeon snaps out of her thoughts. She is still holding the pen and Yoonchul is expecting her answer, his glance distant.

“I’m sorry…it was from Rona…I’m glad it reached you”

Yoonhee attempts to approach them again but Ae-Gyo is holding her firmly.

“Wait”

His hand shaking, Yoon Chul clutches on the pen.

“Really ? Rona…Rona gifted it to me ?” Su-Ryeon smiles at him.

“She did. She really wanted to give it to you and wanted you…”

“She wanted you to recover and be healthy again…She had forgiven you. She didn’t know she wouldn’t see you again that day…What am I going to say when I see her…” She stops herself in her inner monologue. She can’t say anything to Rona anymore, she is gone, just like Yoon Chul, Yoon Hee and Ae-Gyo. She stands up and holds out her hand.

“Stand up” Yoon Chul takes her hand and smiles sadly.

“Su-Ryeon-ssi, you are still warm”

Behind them, Ae-Gyo tilts her head.

“Warm…she is warm…Don’t tell me…” She rushes to them with Yoon Hee following after her. Yoon Chul retreats behind Su-Ryeon. Ae-Gyo put her finger to Su-Ryeon’s neck who swats away her hand.

“What are you doing ?”

“Stay still” orders Ae-Gyo before putting her hand on her neck again. She turns slowly toward Yoonhee who questions her silently.

 

Ae-Gyo smile widens.

“Can you explain ?” says Su-Ryeon, crossing her arms on her chest.

Aegyo grabs her hand and puts it on her neck.

“What are you trying to pull ?” No pulse. Su-Ryeon presses her finger harder on the flesh, but still nothing. Her hand shaking, she presses them to her own neck and the small beat that no one really pays any attention before it’s too late pulsates against her fingers. How can she have a heartbeat ? Aegyo looks at her and nods.

Yoonhee’s face light up

“She isn’t…she is still alive ?” Ae-Gyo slaps Yoon Chul’s shoulder who stumbles.

“You are useful for a change ! She isn’t a lost case yet, but we probably need to send her away quick” Yoonhee breaks into a smile.

“Really ? Then we need to hurry, but where should we go ?” Su-Ryeon’s mind wanders as the group is speaking of her fate, like the situation doesn’t involve her directly.

Su-Ryeon recalls her last moment, the fall, the cold water, Logan in front of her before she loses consciousness. She wants to see him again, she never wanted to die. But it was for the best.

“Shim Su-Ryeon. You still have a chance, your heart is still beating”

Su-Ryeon averts her gaze from the group.

 

“I can’t go back, nothing will be resolved”

“Just go, go away, clear off woman” says Ae-Gyo.

“Su-Ryeon-ssi, you still have a chance, you should go” reasons Yoon Chul. Su-Ryeon’s gaze darkens and she crosses her arms.

“I’m sorry…but I didn’t take that decision lightly. It was the best I could do…and I can’t…I can’t lead a normal life after all what happened to all of you. How can I dream of being happy after all that tragedy ?”

“Then…were you the one…it wasn’t Seojin ?” Asks Yoon Chul.

“Of course she was the one to do it to herself, why are you so slow at everything ?!” snaps Aegyo. Yoonhee keeps staring at Su-Ryeon and stops in front of her.

“Unni. I’m deeply sorry, but you need it”

“What about ?” Before Su-Ryeon can react, her friend’s hand slaps across her face and pain burns her cheek.

---

Rona stands up with Hye In when Logan and Seok Hoon come back. They all jump when the frame containing a smiling Su-Ryeon and Yoonhee’s picture on falls down with a loud noise. An awkward silence follows, broken by Seok Kyung's uneasy laugh.

“It’s the wind…it must be, right ?”

Hye In replaces it, grimacing a smile.

“Well…let’s go downstairs, dinner is ready” gestures Logan. The group leave the room, missing by only mere seconds Su-Ryeon whispered words.

“It hurts…”

 

---

Author’s notes :

My immense thanks to shrimpchip_art for her gorgeous artwork who inspired me to write this alternate ending and for letting me use it for my chapter. If you don’t know this artist yet, I can only recommend you to check her over on Twitter <3

https://twitter.com/shrimpchip_art/status/1484557515463352322?s=20&t=4jxgoZVoJCAIpsfikPgaXQ