From a young age, out of his seven older sisters, Jaejoong has always been closest to his Jinhee-noona. He stuck to her like glue.

 

A 5-year old Jaejoong would play with his cars and robots while his noona, who was a few years older, would play with dolls, but they always played together.

"Raaaaa!" The little Jaejoong played a villain with his robot and would attack his noona's doll. His noona would play along but sometimes she tweaked the plot and would sit her doll beside Jaejoong's red robot.

"They're on a date now!" She declared as she gave the robot and the doll little tea cups like they were having a picnic.

"Raaa!" The little Jaejoong shouted again and with his robot, kicked the tea cups astray.

But Jinhee would scream back, "No! No don't do that!!!" She fixed the cups and placed the robot back beside her doll. "This is her boyfriend! They are on a date!"

"Date?" Little Jaejoong asked.

"Yes, date! She is a princess and she is dating the robot prince! They're in love!" She sparked with enthusiasm and completely redirected the storyline to her fantasies.

Even though Jaejoong didn't understand yet the concept of love, he went along with his noona's roleplay. "Okay!" He then lowered his voice to mimic the robot's. "Date!"

With the red robot in his hand, he sat it down to enjoy the picnic with the cute frilly doll.

 

 

*****

 

 

"Ahhhh Yeppeo! (pretty!)"

A 7-year old Jaejoong was in Jinhee's room and he was wearing a simple white dress that went down to his milky knees.

"Unnie!" Jinhee called their sisters who were in the living room. "Look, Jaejoongie doesn't even need makeup. His cheeks and lips are naturally pink. I'm so envious!"

One of their elder sisters peeked in the room. She surveyed her brother in a dress and scolded Jinhee, "You keep letting Joongie wear girl clothes! What if he turns into a nellie! You'll answer to appa for converting his only son!"

"Aiyaah! But look! He's so pretty, unnie!" She then turned to the little boy who looked so natural and ephemeral in girls' clothing. "Don't you feel pretty, Jaejoongie?"

The little Jaejoong just smiled a bit. "Pretty? Like you, noona?"

Jinhee laughed in delight and hugged her adorable brother. "You think I'm pretty? You're the sweetest, Jaejoong! I love you!!"

The little Jaejoong was squeezed in his sister’s embrace.

And for many more years, he had worn her shirts and pants without much thought.

 

 

*****

 

 

At 10, Jaejoong would listen to Jinhee talk about her dreams. They would lie beside each other on her bed, thinking about her hopes and wishes.

"A tall handsome man who is kind and gentle," she was describing the man of her dreams.

"How about a rich guy?" Jaejoong remembered their mom constantly reminding his sisters to choose guys who could grant their every whim.

"He doesn't have to be rich. Money comes and goes but the values a person has will stay," her sister told him. "I want someone who makes you feel important."

That's the first he heard of that. He always learns from his sister. "Important? Like a prime minister?"

"Not like that, Joongie!" She laughed. "Someone who cares about you and tries to understand how you feel. Ummm..." She thought of how to answer her brother’s innocent question. "Maybe if he remembers anniversaries? And gives flowers?"

"What do you need flowers for? It will just die." Jaejoong said and truthfully couldn't understand how receiving flowers could make anyone important.

"Yes, but flowers are amazing things, Joongie. True, they bloom only for a short while. But do you think if flowers never wither, it would still be special?” She asked. “If someone gets it for you at their prettiest… wouldn't you think that’s romantic?"

"Aahh..." Jaejoong pondered. He tried to learn how love, a topic that his sisters kept making a big deal about, worked and flowers seemed irrelevant. "...Something to eat would be better." Jaejoong said and still didn't understand it, but he just let his beloved noona share her fantasies and wished for her dreams to come true some day in the future.

 

 

*****

 

 

One day, Jaejoong was looking for his beloved noona around the house to remind her of their weekly shopping.

He went to her room but she wasn't there. So he went to his other sisters' rooms.

"Have you seen Jinhee-noona?"

"Where's Jinhee-noona?"

He kept asking but nobody knew where she was.

When he saw her arrive home that day, Jaejoong beamed and smiled up to his ears.

"Noona!!" He ran to her and clung onto her arm. "Where have you been?"

Jinhee had a huge smile on her face and hugged her brother. "Jaejoong!!! I was on a date!!!" She exclaimed.

"Date?" He repeated. Did she mean how his robot and her doll would go on dates - sitting together and drinking tea? She could do that at home right?

He later learned that she had a new boyfriend. She's had a boyfriend before but it didn’t hinder with their quality bonding time. Only this time something’s changed. Jaejoong thought that his noona's new boyfriend took her away.

So one day, while he was helping her put nail polish on her fingernails, careful not to mess up, he complained,

"You're spending too much time with your boyfriend! You've forgotten about me!!"

This came as a shock to his elder sister. "Waah Joongie! Don't say I forgot about you!" Jinhee whined at Jaejoong. She didn’t expect this to be how he felt. "I'm sorry if you think I neglected you... How about this... I'll ask oppa to come over sometime, so you could meet him."

Jaejoong still wasn't pleased and kept painting her nails with a small brush. A shiny red color draped the tips of her fingers.

"Oppa is sweet, funny and kind. You'll like him, I'm sure!" She said confidently.

Jaejoong still had a frown on his face, but his curiosity was piqued, thinking about this oppa his noona chose over him, her own brother. How could there be someone more important than him?

An upset 12-year old Jaejoong then said,

"He'd better be perfect!!"

 

 

*****

 

 

And, to Jaejoong’s full astonishment, he was.

It was the week after. His noona was having her boyfriend over their house and asked Jaejoong to meet him. With slight wonder, Jaejoong came out of his room and went down the flight of stairs. As soon as he walked near his noona, his gaze was instantly pulled to the figure that stood by the door.

It was a tall guy wearing a long brown coat. His face was so small and flawless, his hair clean-cut and his eyes were perfectly almond shaped. The entity that was inside their house was so out-of-this world that he shone so brightly and took all of the spotlight in the room. Jaejoong only realized he was staring when the gorgeous guest looked back at him and SMILED. And what a smile he had!

“This is Yunho-oppa,” Jinhee introduced him.

Jaejoong was still gawking at the tall person standing by the doorway. "Ha-handsome...” He blurted unknowingly.

Jinhee elbowed him a bit to stop being embarrassing but the visitor just laughed.

“She’s your sister?" He asked.

“No, no! This is Joongie!” She introduced him. “He’s my only brother!”

The guest was shocked and abashed from his mistake. “Oh my bad! I’m sorry.” He said immediately.

Jaejoong shook his head. “It’s alright. Happens a lot." He wanted to make the tall guy feel less worried.

He then heard him say, “It’s because you looked so pretty like Jinhee said. I’m sorry, Joongie.” He smiled again.

And with that, Jaejoong’s heart fluttered... He's never felt such an unnerving feeling before. It made his stomach churn. Being smiled at like that, and his name called so sweetly, he found that he didn’t mind the mistake at all.

Later on when the visitor left, Jaejoong and Jinhee were in the dining room.

"He's alright!” Jaejoong approved of his noona's oppa. He was tall, well-mannered and looked like he came straight out of a billboard. Being 'Alright' was pretty much an understatement.

“See? Wasn’t he nice?" Jinhee confirmed as they readied the table for dinner. "Told you that you'd like him.”

But neither of them could expect how much Jaejoong would like the tall handsome man.

 

 

*****

 

 

Jaejoong would see his noona's oppa frequently since he would accompany her whenever she came home late from school. On weekends, he was also there eating with everyone in the family. His sisters and mother treated him like their own already and everyone liked him.

One particular day, all of them found Jinhee in the living room holding a large red box of chocolates tied with a golden ribbon. She was all smiles.

​​​"Wahh! What is that Jinhee?!" One of them asked.

A bewildered Jaejoong stared at the scene.

"It's from Yunho-oppa," she said. "It's our 100-day anniversary."

"How sweeeeet!!! You have the best boyfriend!!" Another one of the girls squealed ecstatically.

Jaejoong still watched her look so happy holding that huge box in her hands. He thought how nice it was that his sister was being romanced like she had always wanted. He was truly happy for her and loved having his noona's oppa around. He loved it so much that sometimes, when his noona's oppa wasn't around, things get a little bit boring.

"When is Yunho-oppa coming?" He asked his sister while they watching TV in the living room.

"It's not oppa! It's hyung for you!" Jinhee said. "He's 4 years older than you. And you're a boy! Call him hyung!"

"It's because you keep saying Oppa-this, Oppa-that. Of course Joongie would get it from you, Jinhee!" One of their sisters said.

Jaejoong knew to call him hyung, but the first thoughts that come to his mind are what he usually says aloud. And he had been calling him 'Noona's oppa, Noona's oppa' many times that he had shortened it to only oppa, like how all of his seven sisters called him.

If anyone looked back, that might have been one of the earliest signs of how he really felt.

 

 

*****

 

 

One day, as Jaejoong was on his bed in his room, lounging around on a free day, his phone that was beside him rang.

An unknown number showed up on the screen. While wondering who it was, he answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Joongie, it's Yunho," came a deep voice on the other line. Just hearing the name immediately made Jaejoong's heart race unstoppably. He could feel his cheeks go warm. "Could you meet me outside?"

"Me?" Jaejoong was confused why it was him that was called out, but he became thrilled that oppa came to him for something. "Noona's not here."

"Just come on out," he said nicely.

Jaejoong became nervous and his heart was drumming as he went outside the house.

When he got outside past their gate, he saw this tall guy on the side of their house. He was carrying a bouquet of flowers in his hand and seemed to be waiting. Him against the background of the pastel orange sky was a sight to behold.

"Oppa," Jaejoong called which made Yunho turn to face him and laugh immediately for being called oppa by a boy.

"Joongie," the tall guy went up to him. "Take this." He said as he offered this huge bouquet of flowers to Jaejoong.

The little one blushed immediately as the bouquet was placed in his arms. Its beautiful flowers bloomed of white, pink and yellow, and it's sweet scent wafted to Jaejoong's senses. Immediately, he pondered how is it possible that nature could create such wonderful things?

"Could you please give that to Jinhee?" The perfect being said.

Jaejoong snapped out of his fantasy. "To noona?" How could he have thought the flowers were for him? He was extremely embarrassed for himself.

"Yes, for our 200-day anniversary," Yunho said. "Would you please do it? She'll finish her class late and we won't meet. I want her to get something from me at least." He smiled gently.

Jaejoong then remembered that this person here is his sister's boyfriend. And he was only called out and given flowers to give this to his sister. Not him. He thought it was terribly wrong to be sad about it. "Alright," he said and gave out a smile.

"Thank you, Joongie! I owe you one!" The older guy then scuffed him on the head before leaving.

Jaejoong still kept the smile on his face.

Going back in the house, he smelled the sweet scent of the flowers one last time before laying it on his noona's bed.

After years of questioning and doubting it, a realization that flowers are beautiful - not useless or wasteful - came to him. And for the first time in his life, he found the gesture absolutely romantic.

He quietly thought of when the time would be where he would experience such an endearing affection as well.

 

 

*****

 

 

Jaejoong turned 13, and had a small celebration with family members in their house. His sisters and him were gathered around the dining table with the cake, grilled meat and desserts they prepared for the celebration.

Once in a while, Jaejoong would glance at their guest, his noona's oppa who was also invited to dine with them. He's just truly marvelous to look at and the stories he shares of his school were always charming. Jaejoong loved having him over.

All Jaejoong's seven sisters and the guest sang him a happy birthday song and one by one they gave their hugs and gifts. Jinhee gave her gift too and Jaejoong was enjoying the small celebration.

After a while, Jinhee then said, "Yunho-oppa also brought a gift."

This stunned Jaejoong. "What?! Really?!" He couldn't contain his surprise. "You didn't have to!"

"Of course I got one. I'd regret it if I came empty-handed." He said as he pulled out a little box and gave it to Jaejoong.

"Wow what's that?" The other sisters said in amusement as they gathered around.

"You didn't give us that kind of gift on our birthdays," they said.

Yunho just chuckled. "Well, Joongie's special. He's Jinhee's favorite little brother." He patted Jaejoong on the hair as the shorter boy stared at the black box in his hands. It was small and had a silver lining that ran around the middle.

Jaejoong with both his hands, snapped the case open, before pulling out this long silver string with a small star pendant that shone. "A necklace!" He exclaimed happily.

The sisters chuckled and found the sight adorable. "He's blushing! He's blushing!"

"What do you say, Joongie?" Jinhee said and was proud of her thoughtful boyfriend.

"I like it!" Jaejoong said honestly. Once again, his heart fluttered uncontrollably. It was like fireworks were going off wildly in his chest. "Thank you, oppa!!!"

His sisters and Yunho were stunned before bursting into laughter.

Jinhee pinched Jaejoong on the side before telling him again, "Call him hyung!!!"

 

 

*****

 

 

Jaejoong felt like a new person. He kept looking at and touching the jewelry on his neck. It was the first time he had treasured and taken care of something so carefully. And suddenly, everything seemed beautiful and many little things in his day became amusing. He just suddenly felt so...  happy all the time. His classmates and sisters would notice that about him too.

But the joy didn't last long. Without even a few months of having the gift, after feeling a bareness on his neck, he checked and found his precious necklace to be missing.

"OHHH NOOOOO!!!!" He wailed while on his way home. The effect was as if he lost a piece of him. "My necklace!!!!!!" He'd rather lose his bike, his bag, or even the cd he spent months saving up for, but not that necklace! It was the only thing he had received from Yunho-oppa and nothing was as valuable.

And so he ran back to school, thinking he lost it during a basketball game. He spent the rest of the day looking for it, only to find the chain broken and the pendant missing.

He was so upset as he went home and put the what's left of the necklace back in its small black box.

When his Noona's oppa came to visit next time, Jaejoong didn't want to show himself and he didn’t want to look like he didn’t take care of the gift. So he stayed in the dining area.

But after a while, Yunho who was getting a glass of water still saw him. "Joongie, you're here." He greeted him.

Jaejoong was still a bit down and couldn't face Yunho.

"Oh you're not wearing the necklace?" Yunho was acting his cutesy self at the young Jaejoong.

That made jaejoong burst. "No, I always wore it!" He defended himself." I wore it all the time. But I lost it…"

"You lost it??" Yunho asked.

"When I was playing basketball, it must have snapped. I’m so sorry..." He seemed so down and guilty.

Yunho laughed a bit. "That's too bad," he said.

That didn't make Jaejoong feel any better. "I'm so sorry I didn’t mean to lose it." He repeated and thought he was such an idiot for not taking better care of it.

Yunho, looking at the boy who seemed so upset over a necklace then said,

"Don't worry. I'll give you one on your next birthday."

Jaejoong shot up and looked at the gorgeous man.

"Would that be okay?" Yunho said.

Jaejoong's eyes were widened from what he heard and his expression suddenly brightened. "You would???"

"Of course." He patted the younger one on the head. "It's a promise."

Jaejoong instantly had a smile and his spirits uplifted. His Yunho-oppa made a promise to him. In less than a year, he would get another gift from oppa. It's so exciting!!

He counted the months and got to half a year away... when suddenly he realized he didn't see the tall handsome person visit their house anymore. He never saw his noona's oppa again.

"Noona," he asked Jinhee one day. "When is Yunho-oppa coming?"

"Huh? Oppa?" Jinhee repeated. "We broke up."

Jaejoong was stunned. He couldn't believe what he heard and the words fell on him like a concrete brick. "What???!"

"He was going to a university far away... We won't be able to see each other anymore. I told him to pick a nearby university but he didn't… So we broke up." Jinhee said so casually.

"What???!!!!" Jaejoong was still shocked and couldnt fathom the news. Almost immediately, tears were streaming down his face.

"Wahhh! Why are you crying Joongie!!!" His noona went up to him and wiped his tears in worry. "Don't cry!"

But Jaejoong was bawling. "Uuhhh... Uhhhh... I... I won't see him anymore?"

Jinhee's expression turned to pity and sadness. "Why are you crying? I didn't even cry this much..." She hugged her brother and comforted him. "You really liked him, didn't you?" It had been so obvious to her and their family but they didn't think it to be a serious matter. The tears on her little brother's red cheeks prove otherwise.

Having finally realized and acknowledged his feelings, Jinhee apologized. "I'm sorry...” She felt there was nothing she could do about her poor innocent brother.

 

 

*****

 

 

Several weeks after, Jinhee got a new boyfriend. Learning about this terribly upset Jaejoong. "How quick she has forgotten about oppa!" He thought.

He went downstairs when Jinhee had had once brought him over and Jaejoong stood by her side, examining the stranger.

The guy was shorter, had a few pimples, his smile wasn't as charming and he did not shine brightly as Yunho. Jaejoong's heart did not flutter one bit.

"He's not perfect." He bluntly told Jinhee. "He's ugly."

"HEEEY!!" Jinhee snapped at him in surprise. "Behave!!!"

"Oh, your sister?" The stranger asked.

"No! This is my broth-"

"I'm a BOY! Are you blind!?" Jaejoong cut them off and was upset that he was mistaken as a girl.

"JOONGIE! How rude!! Go back to your room!" Jinhee pushed her brother away and was embarrassed of his attitude.

The stranger was apologizing but Jaejoong was still fuming when he went back upstairs.

The new guy was horrible and a whole universe away from the heaven-made, perfect Yunho. What a disaster!!!

 

 

*****

 

 

Jaejoong got on with his life and at 14, he got his very first girlfriend. She was a classmate in school. But, they didn't last long and the reason was quite simple.

"Oppa," Jaejoong's girlfriend called while they were the only ones left in the classroom. She had short brown hair, had large eyes and a cute button nose. "I was thinking of getting you a gift. Is there anything you want?"

Jaejoong, while sitting in his desk, thought for a while before responding plainly.

"Flowers," he said. "I want a flower bouquet."

The expression on the girl's face was almost funny. It was a mix of confusion and shock from the unexpected answer.

And Jaejoong's small ways of being more effeminate than her made them part ways. The same happened with his next girlfriends. There was something he wanted that he couldn't quite point out. He wanted something that would tickle his heart and set off the fireworks in his chest. Nothing came even close to what he was looking for.

 

 

*****

 

 

Years went by, Jaejoong was now 16 and at his sophomore year in senior high school. He has gone far away and rented his own apartment in Seoul to focus on his studies. He had a lot of time to ponder and get over the fantasies he must have adopted from his sister. Jung Yunho, the tall handsome man who was so polite, kind and charming. A real prince, his sister would say. None would ever top.

 

One fine day, Jaejoong was strolling along the streets of Seoul to get back to his apartment, and stopped by the pedestrian lane at a red light. Suddenly, across the street, a familiar figure appeared and stood in front of one of the shops.

It was a tall man wearing a long brown coat. He had a small face unrecognizable from the distance. Jaejoong's heart almost stopped. "No, it couldn't be," he thought.

The man already got what he bought and was walking away. But the signal light to cross still had 10 seconds.

"No No No No No!" Jae's heart was racing. He wasn't sure it was him. But what if? He had to be sure.

8 seconds.

If it were him, Jae couldn't lose him again.

6 seconds.

Because Jae missed that person so much.

4 seconds.

His noona's oppa was his first love.

2 seconds.

And Jaejoong ran even when the cars have not completely stopped. He got horned loudly as he burst through the streets with people screaming at him, but he didn't care.

If this person was Yunho. If it was him... he had to see him...

Making his way through the crowd, Jaejoong saw the back of the figure coming into view. He was so near... so near...

"OPPA!!!!"

He shouted and continued running, and as if in slow motion, the tall man stopped and turned around.

As soon as he faced him, several emotions struck Jaejoong. Seeing his small flawless face. Those almond eyes, the flawless skin... Nothing at all changed from how he knew him, and he still commanded all the spotlights.

"Joongie… I thought it was you." The tall man said. And instantly, there it was - the fluttering in his heart was b, and butterflies came swarming in his stomach.

"Yunho-oppa..."

Yunho chuckled again at being called oppa by a male. And ahhh, how Jaejoong missed that laugh.

"You've gotten so tall! Well it's been about..." Yunho counted. "3 years right?"

"Yes!" Jaejoong said as he huffed. "It's been three years." Three long years of wanting to see him.

"You're in senior high now?"

"Yes..."

"Time flies by quickly." Yunho looked at him with a smile. "How's Jinhee?"

"Has a new boyfriend." Jae answered.

"Ah really."

"He looks so-so at best... Forgets anniversaries and not as perfect as you..." Jae still huffed.

"Hahaha!" The other could only laugh at the compliment.

As Jaejoong examined him more. He still was so perfect and radiant as in his memories.

"Well... I hope she finds her happiness. You too, Joongie." He smiled. "Good luck to you. See you!" He said before going back his way.

'No… Don't go!' Jae was alarmed. He can't leave again. "Oppa!!!!!" He screamed at the figure who started to walk away.

Yunho turned around once more to look at the boy calling him in earnest.

Jaejoong looked like he was about to cry with his red cheeks and huffing. "You said... You said you'll get me a new necklace!" He shouted, completely forgetting there were other people around them. "You promised!"

Yunho was taken aback and stared at the boy who looked so... desperate yet sincere. He then laughed heartily. He's never encountered anything like this in his whole life.

Jaejoong was about to cry just looking at Yunho. He felt like he's laid out his heart in that crowded street.

But everything became alright... Because the tall man, his noona's oppa, his first love, then said,

"Alright," with a gentle smile. "Let's go pick one right now."

That afternoon, Jaejoong who was supposed to go home, instead went around looking for a necklace he liked. And Yunho who planned to cook for himself in his apartment, suddenly had dined out impulsively at a fairly expensive restaurant with a person he's always found adorable.

A few months later, Jaejoong then went out with someone who he thought put the meanings to flowers, to being important, and to dates, someone who put a meaning to a heart-fluttering love. At 16, Jaejoong started to date Jung Yunho who was once his noona's oppa, but unknowingly had always been his first love.

 

 

 

** The End **