Maybe

Am I Ready

Here they are now, walking in the park amidst the cold weather. Yuri doesn't mind though, for all she wants is to catch up and savour the presence of her bestfriend who she didn't see for a long time. So she doesn't complain at all.

"I really think suggesting a walk in a park was a bad idea" Yena says guiltily seeing the younger bundled up in her padded jacket and scarf before pouting.
Yuri almost chuckles at her unnie's antics but holds it in "I told you it's fine unnie , I was kinda getting bored sitting in that cafe. I was there for quite some time you know?" She says instead
"Are you sure? Hold this coffee for your hands we don't want your hands to get too cold." Yena says not removing the pout on her lips.
She smiles at this even after all this years her duck-like unnie is still the same, caring adorable duck she thinks. She resists the urge to pinch the older's lips and just takes the coffee.
"I missed you so much Joyul! How could you not tell me you were changing numbers? I'm hurt." The older sulks
Yuri internally squeals at this her cute unnie really haven't changed a bit calling her with that nickname.
 "Oh is my baby duck upset? I'm sorry I forgot to tell you." She cooes at the girl before laughing, and did she miss laughing like this.
"Yah yah yah! What do you mean baby? I'm older than you!" Yena shouts feeling her face heat up in this cold weather.

"I was just kidding, I missed you so much too unnie. We have a lot of catching up to do, how have you been?" Yuri asks her unnie. Geniunely curious of what the latter did for the past 4 years
"I've been fine I guess? I'm enjoying my job as a photographer ever since we lost communication. I've been travelling to multiple countries capturing any scenery and moments that is pleasing" The younger is glad hearing this, her unnie always dreamt of travelling around the world, 
"But this past year was, I don't know? I feel like I've hit some kind of a slump." Yena stares somewhere distant and continues, "It seems like no matter how many photos I take they don' t look as great as before. It just... It just doesn't feel the same" the older sighs. 
Yuri can relate to the girl. Just like Yena she's also in a slump, she puts a comforting hand on the back of the latter.
"Maybe it's the lack of romance around me huh? I mean I've been single for a long time maybe I need someone a muse to be my inspiration." Yena states positiveness coating her tone, eye sparkling brightly as if she thought of the greatest idea.
Yuri thinks that the girl never fails to surprise her with it's positiveness, but she's glad that her unnie is not taking it too hard upon herself.

"How 'bout you Yuri, how have you been?" Yena asks back wanting to know the younger's side.
Yuri doesn't know where to begin and so she tells her unnie what happened for that past years such as her using "Zo Glassy" as her pen name to which the latter replies with "Eh? That was you? I loved your novels so much."
and she replies, "Oh so you're a fan of my work? I'm honored to hear that." before smiling however the next question completely removes the smile from her face
"It seems like you're on the way to succes huh? So how are you and Hye anyways?" Yena asks, but when she sees the younger's face something tells her that she shouldn't have asked that question.
"Uh if you're not comfortable talking about it forget I asked Yuri." She quickly says, worry and guilt heard through her voice.
"No it's fine, I'll tell you." The younger tries to show a smile which doesn't convince the older. Yena continued to listen as the younger states what happened to her year from the writing slump to her break until her tears start to uncontrollably pour down her cheeks.  She feels a warm hand brush the tears away it was comfortingly warm she started to lean on it.
"You can stop now, I understand." Yena says so softly that Yuri can't stop the next batch of tears gushing out.

"It just that you know? I expected her to understand my position." She takes a deep breathe and looks at the ground before continuing, "I can't believe she threw away our long relationship because of just a short time away from each other." Now she even remembers Hyewon's words she can't help but cry more
"I'm scared unnie, I'm scared of the future." Yena can see Yuri trembling from crying too much, so she holds the latter's hand running circles with her thumb hoping to send some sense of comfort to the crying girl.
"If Hye, the person I once imagined living with me til my last breathe, the person I gave my whole heart was able to leave me easily like that, what if... what if the people around me get tired of me and one by one leave me too? I'm scared of the possibilities Yena, I'm scared I'll end up alone." The younger finishes before she cries harder than she's ever cried in her life.
Yena seeing this fidgets in her seat, sure she's read some scenes like this before but experiencing this personally she doesn't know what to do.
She's moving her arms around not sure whether to give the girl a hug of give a pat in the back so instead she let's her cry the pain away, hoping it'll help reduce the heartache that the girl is into right now.

A few minutes with just the sound of crying passed and when the crying girl seemed to calm down a little she started speaking
"You know for quite some time now I've been thinking that I'm probably having the worst year someone could have but hearing your year, I was brought back to reality that there are way more people who had worse year than me."
Hearing this Yuri looks at the older, "It made me realize that there's many more things in life that I don't know and are not aware of, but there are a few things I know" Yena looks into her eyes and holds her hand smiling,
"You shouldn't be afraid of what's going to happen, because someone leaving your life is inevitable, in some cases it's better when some people are not in your life, and don't you worry for I will stay by your side and will never leave okay? This time we won't lose contact from each other, maybe if you're willing you can go with me when I travel across countries who knows? Maybe we can find inspiration in one place together." Yena pauses almost running out of breathe.

"So don't be afraid to face your future okay?" She finishes before flashing a grin, but when she sees Yuri just staring at her the smile turns into an unsure smile
"Uh... did what I just say even make sense? I guess not." She states while scratching her cheeks that has a hint of pink
Yuri smiles a bit from this. "I must say I'm impressed unnie, it actually made sense" to which the older replies with "Really? Wait what do you mean you're surprised!"
The younger just chuckles. "Thank you unnie, even after all these years here you are the one comforting me." Yuri says remembering the time Yena comforted her because she spent all night crying over a failed exam, she smiles at the memory.
"Hey don't thank me, what are bestfriends for?" The older says bumping shoulders with her then proceeds to "Look at your nose it's so red from all that crying earlier, are you competing with Rudolph for the "Most Red Nose Award"?"
"Yah! I can't believe you can still tease me after all that." and Yuri juts her lower lip showing Yena what she think is the cutest pout she's ever seen.
"Whatever you say Joyul! Let's take you back to your apartment, it's getting late already." The older says helping her dongsaeng stand up
"So Yuri...  What do you think about spending 2022 with me? It can serve as our time to catch up with each other." Yena asks looking at her eyes as if they can see through her soul, waiting expectantly for an answer...

Yuri isn't sure if she'll forget what happened between her and Hyewon, she isn't sure if she'll be ever to trust anyone like she did to Hye ever again, if she will be able to smile if ever she sees her past lover again, there's a lot of uncertainty regarding her future and she's still a bit scared of the possibilities, but now she thinks that maybe just maybe

"Maybe I'm ready to welcome the new year." she thinks
"Sure, I don't see why not." and if possible Yena's grin grows even larger than earlier
and Yuri thinks she's ready to face the new year with Yena.


 

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