The married couple's first fight occurs in the middle of summer when wildflowers fully blossom.

Well, calling it a fight might be too exaggerated when nothing exactly happened. If I really have to put it into words, it's more like silly jealousy that stems from a lack of communication. It all started two weeks after the wedding. Victor has taken in a disciple, a dashing young man named Alfonse, to inherit his medical and scientific knowledge and become the next doctor of the village. At the same time, Yesung has become friends with a charming seamstress named Veronica, bonding over their shared interest in art. Nothing seems out of place at the first glance. The married couple gets along very well with their new friends while their relationship only becomes stronger each passing day. Everyone is happy and lives their lives to the fullest, including me. The memoir progresses smoothly. I'm done rewriting Victor and Yesung's sides of the stories into chronological order— starting with Victor's stories and point of view followed by Yesung's. As of now, I'm still working on Mister Gustav's part but I don't make much progress, because I suddenly find myself becoming a relationship counselor for the married couple…

.

.

.

"What? You're doubting that Yesung might cheat on you with Alfonse?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Martin. I have complete faith in my partner."

"Then, why are we doing this again?"

I ask my friend who is busy keeping his eyes on his spouse and his disciple who are walking ahead of us. Not long ago, I was working on the memoir when Victor suddenly barged in and dragged me out. Next, I found myself trailing after Yesung and Alfonse into the forest. Apparently, Victor caught his partner sneakily leaving their house to meet the young disciple without informing him, so he got anxious and decided to follow them (while dragging me along).

"I trust Yesung and I know that Alfonse isn't that kind of a person, but…"

"You're just being jealous for no reason. I'm confident that Yesung would never—"

I didn't get to finish my sentence because I was caught off guard by the sight before us. Alfonse crouches down and picks up a wildflower, before handing it to Yesung who receives it with a bright smile and puts it in his rucksack. Then, the young disciple continues to pick up more flowers and gives them to Yesung whose smile never left his lips, and I'm at a loss of words to explain why Yesung would do such a thing behind his husband's back.

"So, that's where all the flowers come from…"

"Come again?"

"Recently, Yesung likes to collect wildflowers and herbs even though he never took interest in it. It's because they're from Alfonse… No, it can't be."

Victor shakes his head and turns around to leave. I quickly follow after him even though I'm still curious about the reason why Yesung must keep the meeting with the young disciple a secret. If there is anything that I'm certain of, however, it's the fact that I know Yesung will never cheat on Victor.

"Victor, you know that Yesung genuinely loves you and you alone, right?"

"I know and I believe in him. That's why we're leaving."

"If you're curious, why don't you just ask him?"

"We may be a married couple but we're still an individual. It's up to Yesung whether he wants to tell me or not."

Victor sighs softly.

"... Even though it makes me feel lonely, knowing that he keeps a secret from me."

I didn't say anything. I just accompany Victor back to the village and see him off at the clinic. However, my mind still reels busily even after I go back to the chieftain's hut (I'm staying with him). For Yesung who never hides anything from his husband to suddenly have a secret, I guess that it must be something very important to him… A secret… The doctor's disciple… Wildflowers and herbs…

I feel like I might be onto something so I decide to keep my mouth shut for the time being.

.

.

.

In the end, Victor didn't ask his spouse about the secret meeting at night and pretended to be clueless. As for me, I think I might have found out the true reason but it's not my place to interfere. Plus, it's as clear as day Yesung doesn't love Victor any less and vice versa, so I decide to leave them be in favor of working on the memoir. Unfortunately, I have time to focus on my task for only a short while because, a week later, Yesung comes to see me with the exact same worry.

"Martin… I think Victor has gotten a lot closer to Veronica and I feel anxious…"

"Why? Are you worried that he might cheat on you?"

"Kyuhyun would never do that. I know it."

"Then, why are we following them?"

Yesung was unable to answer me. Instead, he avoids my question and turns to stare at his husband who is talking with the seamstress with an awkward but happy smile. Like husband, like wife, I was working on the memoir when Yesung dropped by to see me with sad eyes. I'd feel bad if I were to leave him so, here I am, following Victor and Veronica to the seamstress' hut. According to Yesung, Victor closed the clinic today and told his spouse that he had to visit a patient. It was a pure coincidence that Yesung suddenly wanted to see his friend so he came to the lady's house, only to find his husband with the seamstress. So, the anxious Yesung came to confide in me.

"What's wrong with me…? I know Victor will never betray me and Veronica is a great friend, yet I'm still feeling jealous…"

"The more you love someone, the more anxious you become. You can have complete faith in them but doubt may still linger. It's a perfectly normal reaction when it comes to an affair of the heart."

I try my best to explain while Yesung is watching the two people talking. Victor keeps checking between each fabric and occasionally looks at Veronica. From our hiding place, I don't know what they're talking about but the seamstress looks overjoyed while his friend looks mildly embarrassed yet happy. Yesung told me to leave the scene when we saw Victor picking up a piece of wool and putting it on Veronica as if to measure it. I watch Yesung walking in silence. Obviously, my friend will always believe in his husband but it's easy to see that this matter bothers him, because Victor never kept a secret from him. While Yesung is feeling down, I'm actually feeling excited because I have a hunch where these secrets will go.

"Hey, Yesung, how long have you two been married again?"

"Huh? It'll be our first month anniversary next week. Why?"

"Oh, nothing!"

I can't help but praise myself and my amazing hunch. Now, I'm more than certain what will happen to the married couple next.

For that reason, I keep my mouth shut even tighter!

.

.

.

One week later…

Again, like husband, like wife, Yesung didn't ask Victor about his meeting with Veronica and pretended to be clueless too. However, I don't have to worry about them because I now know the reason behind their secrets, and my hunch rarely goes wrong. Regardless, you can't be a good journalist if you rely on your hunch alone. You need evidence. So, to prove that my hunch is correct, I decided to just be frank and ask Veronica and Alfonse to confirm my suspicion. I know that the young disciple is probably busy working with Victor at the clinic so I visit the seamstress first. However, I didn't expect to see both parties involved in this matter together at the seamstress' hut. Veronica and Alfonse turn to smile at me upon seeing me approach them. The young man is acting shyly while the young lady is smiling ear to ear, a beautiful wildflower in her hands fluttering softly along with the wind. I can hear the pieces of mystery falling into a place in my head as I look between them.

"Mister Martin? Did teacher send yer to fetch me?"

"Perhaps Yer-Song 's looking for me?"

"Oh, worry not, it's neither of those! I'm just taking a walk and passing by here. Do continue with your business, lady, gentleman, I'm leaving!"

I bid them farewell and leave the place, though not before glancing back once and throwing a grin at the pair.

"I'm looking forward to good news from you two!"

The two young adults blush at my teasing and my mood can't get any better. I keep humming as I make my way back to the clinic. If Victor and Yesung aren't going to talk, then I just have to trick them into it!

.

.

.

"By the way, Victor, Yesung, have you heard of this?"

"What is it?"

I pretend to be nonchalant and ignore Victor's gaze as I receive a cup of jasmine tea from Yesung. I leisurely take a small sip first before elaborating.

"Apparently, Alfonse is courting Veronica and trying to win her heart. Maybe we might get to celebrate another great occasion soon."

""What!!? He/She didn't like Yesung/Kyuhyun?""

I hide a smirk by raising my cup to my lips while watching the married couple staring at each other in surprise, before slowly turning red in their faces.

"Yesung… I thought Alfonse… you…"

"I-I thought that… Veronica…"

I nibble a butter cookie and continue to watch the couple with great interest.

"Yesung, I," Victor coughs awkwardly, "I'm sorry… I saw you with Alfonse and I got jealous, even though I know you would never betray me."

"That should be my line!" Yesung blushes, "Kyuhyun, I have complete faith in you. When I saw you with Veronica, however, I still can't help the jealousy devouring me…"

"Wait, then, what were you doing with my disciple those nights?"

"... I'm supposed to give it to you tonight but I guess now is fine too."

Still blushing, Yesung leaves the room and comes back later carrying a leather-bound tome. He gives it to his husband and waits expectantly while Victor checks it out. Curious, I take the liberty and peek at the content of the thick book— a neat, beautiful drawing of herbs accompanied by lines of texts written by Yesung based on the handwriting.

"Yesung… this is…?"

"Our one-month anniversary gift! I know you have great memories but it's easier to have an encyclopedia ready at hand, right? I asked Alfonse to help me with the explanation and even sort it by the alphabet! So… cough, cough, Kyuhyun, do you like it…?"

"I love it. Thank you, Yesung."

Victor's genuine smile shines so bright that Yesung had turned completely red. The taller man then leaves the room too and comes back with a ball of fabric in his hand. I squint my eyes at the strange object trying to figure its identity out. It's only when Victor spreads it and puts it on Yesung's neck that I realize it's a scarf made of wool, an ugly one at that, what with loose knots and stray threads everywhere. However, Yesung seems overjoyed receiving it as a gift and happily buries his nose in the soft fabric, all the while his husband looks at him with an affectionate gaze. I also smile along with them. As I thought, they kept it a secret from their life partner because they were preparing an anniversary gift. The thought of cheating on their spouse never once crossed the two's minds. They only have eyes for each other.

"I'm sorry that it turned out ugly…"

"What are you talking about, Kyuhyun? This is the most beautiful scarf I've ever seen in my life! Thank you, I love it so much!"

Yesung beams and hugs his husband tightly while Victor also embraces him back as firmly. When Yesung glances up at the taller man and Victor's gaze falls on the smaller man's lips, I realize that it's my cue to leave. I quietly get up and walk away without saying my farewell to them. I didn't mind it as much as I didn't mind the newlywed completely forgetting about my existence. My friends are happy. That's all that I care about. I hum in a good mood and happily make my way back to my hut, ready to continue working on the memoir.

The next day, I don't feel even the slightest surprised when I find out that the clinic is closed for the day. Apparently, no one in the village is surprised either.

**********************************

Fall arrives sooner than I thought.

"Cough, cough!"

"Yesung, are you sure that you're fine? Do you want me to perform a checkup on your body?"

"I'm fine, Kyuhyun. It's just a simple cold caused by the weather getting cooler so suddenly."

"Truly?"

"Yes. Let's keep looking for mushrooms!"

Yesung beams and pulls his husband to continue walking. I follow after the couple with a phantom touch of apprehension grasping my shoulders. Not long after summer ended, Yesung began to cough frequently. Victor tried to talk to his spouse to get the examination but the black-haired man always refused, saying that it's just a cold and that he would rather spend time doing something else. Although both me and Victor are worried about him, none of us has the heart to turn him down when Yesung asks us to accompany him to places. Today, too, Yesung suddenly suggested mushroom soup for dinner and we went to the forest searching for the ingredients. However, on the way to the forest, Yesung kept coughing and showing a sign of difficulty breathing. They had to stop more often than not to let Yesung catch a breath. I'm not a doctor but I can still tell that my friend's symptoms seem to be more than a mere cold. Obviously, Victor who specializes in medicine will be gravely worried and insists on performing a full examination. Unfortunately, Yesung can be quite stubborn if he wants to, so we can only indulge him.

"Kyuhyun, Martin, cough! W-What do you think? Is this mushroom edi—"

""Yesung!!!""

While showing them a mushroom he just found, Yesung suddenly collapses to the ground mid-standing. I hurry to my friend's side while Victor scoops his spouse in his arms. Yesung's pale skin contrasts to the flaming fallen leaves on the ground as he struggles to breathe. Victor has the smaller man sit up straight and lean on him while he places his hand on the heaving chest, carefully pushing it whenever his spouse exhales.

"Yesung, can you hear me?"

"K-Kyuhyun…"

"Focus on my voice, alright? Slowly breathe in, breathe out, in, out, that's right, you're doing amazing…"

Victor calmly guides until Yesung is able to breathe normally. Still leaning on his husband, Yesung closes his eyes and murmurs tiredly.

"I-I'm sorry… Kyuhyun… Martin… I feel tired… Can we… go home…?"

"Of course, love."

Victor stands up while carrying his spouse and walks away. I wisely pick up our luggage and quickly run after my friends. On the way back, neither of us says anything as we keep our eyes on the sleeping figure in Victor's arms. Yesung's face is… as pale as paper…

"H-How is Yesung?"

"He's asleep now but I won't know for certain until I perform a full checkup, and I'll do it after going home."

"But Yesung said…"

"I don't care," my friend's voice turns sharper, "I'd rather he hated me than not doing anything."

I didn't say anything more. We hastily make our way back to the village and to the clinic where Victor takes Yesung into the examination room. I walk in circles as I wait impatiently in the living room. Then, after what feels like an eternity, Victor leaves the room with a heartbroken look. He looks like the world has collapsed before his eyes as he informs me of the result, and I immediately fall on my knees when the two words reach my ears.

"Organ failure."

Organ… failure…? I blink stupidly as I replay the words in my head and repeat them with my mouth.

"Organ… failure…?"

"Yes. The bodily parts that I harvested from corpses have reached their ages and started to deteriorate. He'll lose the essential bodily system one by one— muscle, taste, smell, sight, hearing, after that…"

Yesung is going to die.

Victor doesn't need to finish his sentence for me to know what will happen next. Yesung, my friend, is going to die.

"H-How much time does he have left…?"

"Judging by the rate of organs deteriorating, he probably has three or four months left…"

"What!!? But— How!!? He was so healthy and happy just months ago!!? I mean, he was shining brilliantly with life when—"

"I wish time could stop here…"

"Victor… Do you think…?"

"Yes. Yesung knows that he's going to die. That's why he has been wanting to spend more time with us."

"What!!? If he knew it then why didn't he say anything about it!!?"

"It isn't that hard to guess, right? He doesn't want to worry us…"

Victor scoffs bitterly into his palm.

"This is my fault. I'm his husband and the one who created him. I'd have noticed…"

"Victor…"

I want to comfort my friend but I'm at a loss for words. Plus, what I say won't change the fact that Yesung is going to die. I feel my eyes getting slightly warmer as despair crushes our bodies. We stand in eerie silence for a very long while, not knowing what to do with the bad news, then Victor suddenly utters aloud.

"I'm going to cure him."

"You can do that?"

"Of course. I just have to find newer, better organs to replace the old ones and—"

"I don't want that."

Our heads snap to where the familiar voice comes from. Yesung is standing there leaning on the wall to support his body, his face still worryingly pale. Victor reaches his spouse's side in a second and carries him up, before carefully laying the man back down on the bed and sitting down beside him; all the while I hover behind them awkwardly, not knowing how I can be useful to them.

"Yesung, you need to rest. Don't worry, I'll take care of everything and you'll be fine."

"But I don't want that… Kyuhyun, I don't want you to cure me…"

Amidst our shock, Yesung takes his husband's larger hand and begs him weakly.

"Cough! I-I was born unnaturally but I want to part the world like other humans… When my time h-has— cough, cough, c-come… Please… Kyuhyun…"

"No! Yesung, you're not thinking straight right now because of fatigue. Leave it to me. I can even improve you so that you won't fall ill again!!"

"W-What if the new organs changed who I am…? What if I wouldn't be the same Yesung that you know and come to love?"

"Don't be ridiculous! I'll always love you no matter what changes about you!"

"BUT I DON'T LIKE THAT!!"

Yesung coughs painfully after shouting. A droplet of blood that dabs the corner of his mouth causes tears to well in my eyes as I watch him desperately holding onto his husband's hand.

"I-I don't want to be perfect, Kyuhyun. I want to be me a-and I like who I am now— a naive, foolishly optimistic, and kind-hearted dreamer who falls in love with the gentle you…"

"Yesung…"

"P-Plus, if you cure me, cough, it'll take a lot of time to search for the right organs and prepare the surgery, right? But… Kyuhyun… I'd rather spend my last moment with you by my side… instead of waiting for you from a cold metal table…"

"..."

"You told me that I'd be more selfish, didn't you…? K-Kyuhyun, will you listen to my selfish r-request…?"

"..."

"Don't cure me and hold me tight until the time has come…"

"...Of course, I'll do anything for you, Yesung, my love, my everything."

Yesung smiles through a veil of tears.

"T-Thank you, Kyuhyun, I love you too…"

I decided to leave at that moment. It really isn't my place to stay and intrude on their fragile yet irreplaceable moment. I head back to the chieftain's hut and lock myself in my room. I let my body slump on a stool lifelessly as my brain still denies the couple's exchange. It can't be… This isn't real… Yesung couldn't have… I keep denying the inevitability as I sob into my palms. A single teardrop slips through a gap between my fingers and hits the memoir's leather-bound cover.

When I first started writing the memoir, I didn't expect it to end like this.

****************************************

Yesung's health deteriorates at a sickening rate as if competing with the fallen leaves.

Only two days after the diagnosis, Yesung loses most of his muscle strength, specifically in his legs. He can no longer walk but his husband is more than willing to carry him in his arms all the time. No matter where Yesung wants to go— the hill, the forest, the river, the villagers' house— Victor takes him there without a second thought and I always tag along carrying their luggage. It's the least I can do for them as their friends. In that regard, I often feel bad because I'm not as helpful as the chieftain or villagers. After finding out about Yesung's condition and limited lifespan, everyone in the village works together to provide all necessities for the couple so that Victor never has to leave his spouse's side. Alfonse takes over the clinic with his betrothed's help, Veronica, who passes over her seamstress job to her younger sister to become a nurse instead. As for Mister Gustav, the old chieftain stomped to the couple's hut when he first heard the news and offered to look for the required organs in the doctor's place— even going as far as offering the deceased villagers lying under the earth. However, Yesung politely and gratefully turned down the old Viking with the same explanation he told his husband— the same explanation that he told everyone.

"Why don't yer treasure yer life more!!?"

...Was the chieftain's last words before he stomped out angrily and disappeared into the forest. Four days later, Mister Gustav came back bathed in blood and dirt as he gave a bear pelt he hunted to the couple. 'Make a coat for Yer-Song,' he said, as he presented various wild berries and mushrooms to my friends, and I once again witnessed how kind the chieftain is despite his harsh demeanor. Everyone works hard to support the couple and both men can't show their gratitude enough. However, our combined strength is like a sandcastle against a crashing wave— it got washed away effortlessly within a second.

Yesung couldn't taste the wild berries that the chieftain brought back for him.

.

.

.

The trees in the forest almost lose all of their leaves when Yesung loses his ability to taste on top of muscle strength.

While everyone is panicking, Yesung still smiles brightly. To lift up the sadness hovering above everyone's head, he often jokes that this is actually a blessing so that he doesn't have to taste his husband and the chieftain's bad cooking anymore; and he successfully brings a smile on our faces (despite our tearful eyes). To compensate for the lost sense of taste, Victor now prepares raw ingredients for each dish and has his spouse smell them before a meal so that he can imagine how it tastes. Not only for a meal, Victor let his spouse smell and touch everything to stimulate Yesung's brain, hoping that it would slow down the deterioration even for the slightest degree. Yesung's favorite things to smell are wildflowers given by Alfonse and Veronica, the bear-fur coat given by Mister Gustav, ink and paper that I use to write the memoir, and Victor— Yesung's most favorite scent. Every day, Yesung stays in his husband's lap and nuzzles against him, inhaling a calm scent that helps him stay positive despite the impending ending.

That's why, one morning when Yesung suddenly chokes on tears while putting his nose in the crook of his husband's neck, Victor and I realize that it happens again.

"K-Kyuhyun… I-I' can't smell you anymore…"

.

.

.

The first snow has greeted the melancholic village when Yesung only has two remaining senses left— sight and hearing.

When Yesung first realized that he couldn't smell anymore, his optimism was damaged because he now lost one of the few things that even out his fear— Kyuhyun's scent. Yesung shed tears for the first time after he came to terms with the inevitable end. Despite keeping up with smiling, deep down Yesung is still scared of death. I thought that Victor might seize the chance to persuade his spouse to accept the surgery but I was wrong. He never brought the topic up, only holding Yesung tighter and whispering comfort words until the man calmed down. Later on, when Yesung's optimism came back, I asked him out of curiosity if he would accept the surgery or not had his husband asked him at that time.

"No, even if I was so scared that I broke down, I'd never change my decision. This is how I want to pass away— being surrounded by people whom I love and care about."

So, Victor thoroughly understands his spouse and acts accordingly. Once again, I'm impressed by their boundless love and trust in each other. At the same time, it saddens me that fate is so cruel to them. Despite that, Yesung fights on. Even though he can't taste or smell anymore, Yesung doesn't let himself drown in sadness and sits still. Now, he spends more time looking at various objects intensely. He especially spends most of his time just staring fixedly at his husband's face as if to burn the image into his mind— as if he's knowing and preparing.

So, when Yesung wakes up to darkness one morning despite the sunlight shining through a window, it's him who embraces Victor and soothes him with a gentle and calm voice. Despite having lost his sight, Yesung is still able to see his husband's tears with his heart.

.

.

.

One night when the village is blanketed in the thick snow, Yesung makes a sudden request from his deathbed.

"Kyuhyun… I want to see the Northern lights that you once told me about…"

"Of course, Yesung. Let me prepare for the journey first and I'll take you there."

I keep my mouth shut all the time while Victor puts layers after layers of clothes on his spouse. Yesung might not know it but I do. It's snowing heavily tonight and it'll probably stay that way until morning, so the chance of seeing the auroras is almost zero. However, Victor doesn't hesitate even a bit to carry his spouse and leaves the hut. I quickly follow after my friends while grabbing more blankets, a compass, and a lantern. I also grab an extra fur coat and put it on Victor who wears only a black overcoat. Then, I walk by my friends' side quietly heading to the cliff that—

"Victor, the cliff isn't in that way."

"We're going north."

Victor said blankly and continued to go further north, opposite the cliff where we should go. I hesitate but follow after him anyway. I can't leave them alone.

"Shouldn't we go back and tell Mister Gustav first? He'll be worried if he can't find us…"

"I'm not going back."

My blood runs cold at his plain statement. Victor… couldn't have meant that… I shake my head and quicken my steps.

"But, if we go back and tell him, he can take us there by sleigh. It's faster and safer…"

"..."

Victor didn't say anything. He just keeps braving through the freezing wind while holding his spouse firmly in his arms to shield him from the cold. It's as clear as day that he won't change his mind so I follow him quietly. I'm not sure how long we've been walking or how far we are from the village, but Victor doesn't stop even once. The night is so cold that I can't feel my fingers despite the thick coats I'm wearing, yet my friend refuses to wear more layers because he doesn't want the weight to slow him down… I'm frustrated and powerless. Why are they so stubborn? Both Victor and Yesung? I'm their friend but I can't do anything for them, nothing at all… The only thing I can do is try my best to catch up with Victor and don't be a burden. After a longer while, we arrive at a bay that connects to the North Sea. However…

"Yesung, we made it."

"S-So…? How is it…? The Northern lights…?"

"It's breathtaking. It's even more beautiful than what I showed you in a picture book."

There are no auroras… The sky above us and the bay is too cloudy with snow clouds to see the lights. I can't even see a single star, much less something rarer like the auroras. Despite that, Victor continues to describe the non-existent Northern lights to his spouse.

"Really…? Kyuhyun… can you… tell me…"

"Of course. It looks just like in the book but the color is more vivid and vibrant."

"What… color….?"

"Mostly teal, dark blue, and sunset orange. There is a pale red color too, just like your cheeks when you're blushing, Yesung."

Yesung's giggle is interrupted by a cough. Victor gently pats his back and pecks his forehead until Yesung feels better.

"Kyuhyun… tell me… more..…"

"Yes. What we don't see in the book is how they move. They're dancing in the sky rhythmically like a flowing river, gently, gracefully, and lively, just like the two of us at our wedding."

"It… sounds… lovely…... Kyuhyun…?"

"I'm here."

"Tell… me… more...…"

"Their colors change whenever they move. It's so beautiful, especially the way they shine on the snow. It looks just like the colorful light that shines through the stained glass window on the floor at our first home, the church."

"I... miss… our… home….."

"You're home now, Yesung, right here in my arms."

"I….. am…. home……?"

"Yes. You're always home. You've never left it, forever here with me."

"I…….. see…….."

Yesung smiles tiredly but genuinely. His fingers twitch as if he tries to move them but he is too weak to do so. So, Victor grasps his small hand and brings it to his face for him. Yesung's smile widens as he puts his hand on his husband's cheek, caressing it with a weak movement of his thumb. Although he can't see anymore, Yesung's dull eyes still precisely find Victor's warm gaze and hold it.

"Kyuhyun……."

"Yes?"

"I'm……. home….."

"Yes, you're. Welcome home, Yesung."

"Kyuhyun….. I….. love…….. you…….…"

"I love you too, Yesung, only you and forever you."

Victor said and pressed his lips on Yesung's pale ones. He stays like that without moving an inch, even when Yesung's body sags in his arm, even when Yesung's head tilts back, even when Yesung's thumb stops moving, even when Yesung's hand drops down by his side…

Victor keeps their lips connected even when Yesung has breathed his last…

I swallow back my tears and sob as I don't want to interrupt their sacred time. From where I'm standing, I can see a streak of tears flowing out of Victor's closed eyes. They trickle down his cheeks and drop on Yesung's face, just like the time when he first found out that his spouse had lost his sight.

But unlike that time, Yesung won't be able to brush the tears off of his husband's face anymore…

.

.

.

I stand a bit far away from the couple to give them privacy. Even after breaking the kiss, Victor still holds Yesung tightly against himself. His arms circling around the smaller man scream desperation and his face burying in his spouse's shoulder cries despair. And those shaking shoulders… The raw sadness I feel from him is intense enough to make me choke on tears. The weather is getting worse deeper into the night but I don't rush him. Victor can stay here all night and I'll still be his company, or so I thought until my friend suddenly addressed me.

"Martin."

"Y-Yes?"

"I'm sorry for always troubling you."

"It's nothing at all. After all, I'm your friend, you and Yesung."

"Still, thank you, I mean it."

Victor gives me a warm smile but his eyes are completely void of emotions.

"You should go back now, Martin."

"Wait? Just me? What about you?"

"I told you that I'm not going back, right?"

"What!!? But then— wait, don't tell me…"

Victor smiles again but this time, there is a tiny speck of light shining in his eyes even for a split second.

"I made a promise with him, Martin, that we'll be together, forever."

"Victor…"

"I'll keep my words and always stay by his side, even in the death realm."

"..."

"You should hurry and go back before the temperature drops even lower. I know you have a compass, you're always prepared, so just head south and you'll be fine. Take these coats and blankets too. You need them more than me."

"U-Understood…"

I cry as my friend smiles at me, a farewell smile. I want to stop him and drag him back, but I can't do it. I can't and I don't want to force Victor to live in a world without Yesung… So, despite my heavy heart, I take all the extra clothes and leave Victor with only his iconic black overcoat. Then, I turn around and leave while rubbing my eyes furiously to get rid of tears that make my vision blurry.

"Martin…?"

I stop in my tracks but don't turn back, for I'm certain that the tears I work hard to stop will definitely break out again if I see my friends.

"Y-Yes?"

"The memoir… It's a shame that neither of us gets to read the finished work. However, can you promise me that you'll write it as accurately as possible and publish it? I don't want the world to forget about Yesung, me, and our stories."

"D-Don't worry! You have my words that I'll publish it no matter what it costs, Victor, Yesung, my friends."

I don't need to see with my own eyes to know that my friend is smiling. I quicken my steps and leave before I lose my resolve. I make my way back to the village as it's snowing heavier. The temperature is freezing but the extra clothes provide me warmth that helps me continue forward. I keep walking south until I see a familiar road. Pushing myself forward, I finally arrived at the village. There is a crowd gathering in front of the entrance— the villagers. Alfonse notices me from afar and approaches me.

"Mister Martin! There yer are. Yer were with teacher Victor and big brother Yer-Song, right? Where are they?"

"..."

"...Why yer alone? Where are they? Why do yer wear so many clothes?"

"..."

"I said! Where are they!!?"

"..."

When I continue to answer his questions with silence, the youth snatches my shoulders and shakes me violently as if it could force an answer out of me. When I keep quiet, Alfonse shouts louder and raises his fist while Veronica tries to calm him down.

"What did yer do to 'em!!? Answer me!"

"..."

"Yer—!!?"

"SILENCE!"

Our heads whip in sync to where the powerful shouting comes from. Mister Gustav who has his back facing us is craning his neck up, staring fixedly at the dark-grey sky where the snow keeps falling.

"Alfonse, let 'im go."

"Chief—!"

"Do as yer told, lad. We 'd respect his wish even though we disagree with it."

"But… teacher and big brother…"

The younger man lets go of me and slumps to the snowy ground. He cries and punches the ground repeatedly while his betrothed who kneels down beside him holds him and rocks him soothingly, even though she, too, is sobbing. The young couple's tears and the chieftain's words make the rest of the villagers understand what happened. Soon, the anguish cries can be heard from everyone and they turn to hug the person closest to them to share the comfort. I watch the scene and feel my chest hurt at the sight. My eyes also feel warmer so I quickly look away before I cry again. I glance at the chieftain instead to find a pillar in this heartbreaking situation. Mister Gustav still stands tall in silence and looks at the sky. As I thought, he knew the couple the best and immediately caught up with everything. Despite losing two son-like figures, the chieftain is still able to keep calm—

Mister Gustav's shoulders are trembling, albeit very slightly.

It's barely noticeable that I almost miss it but I'm not seeing things. The chieftain's large and reliable build is trembling, which can only mean that…

"Victor, Yesung, did you see it? You're loved and treasured here…"

I murmur into the harsh chilling wind, hoping that it'll carry my message to the ears of the two people who aren't here anymore— my dear friends whom I'll never forget…

I glance at the snowy sky and let tears stream down my face.

********************************************

The next morning, I tell everyone about what happened last night and we all cry again for an hour. After that, I lead them to the bay to get the couple's bodies for a proper and honorable funeral. Due to the heavy snow, we have to dig around for a while until we find them. The sight that greets us is so touching and heartbreaking at the same time— Victor and Yesung are lying side by side with their hands locked and intertwined firmly. Both men look so peaceful that I almost mistake them for a sleeping person, except their chests don't move and their faces have no colors. At first, the villagers wanted to bury them at their sacred burial site along with their deceased friends and families. However, I interjected and told them about how the outside world perceives Victor and Yesung, a mad scientist and a monster. If they simply buried the two, some greedy or hateful people might want to dig up their bodies for personal gains and disturb their rest. Mister Gustav agreed with my reason so it was decided that they'll hold a traditional Viking funeral instead— the ship burial.

.

.

.

"Mister Gustav, are you sure that you don't need my help?"

"Aye, yer have done enough for 'em, leave the rest to us."

"But I didn't do anything…"

"No, lad, yer stay by their side and record their stories, immortalizing them. Plus, yer made the hardest decision and respected Victor's wish to be with Yer-Song. Those alone are enough deeds for yer to raise yer chin up and proudly call yerself their friends, Martin."

I swallow back a sob as the chieftain pats my head like a father would do to his son. I've been doubting myself ever since finding out about Yesung's condition that I'm not good enough to be their friend. However, the wise chieftain has made me see the truth, just like what he did for Victor and Yesung a year ago. I sit back and watch the villagers prepare for the burial while diligently writing a note for the memoir. I promise Victor. I'll make the memoir so accurate that readers will feel as if they're seeing it through the storytellers' eyes.

The ship burial, as its name suggested, is a funeral where the deceased of great honor is laid on a boat that will be set sail into the sea, before shooting fire arrows at the boat to burn it. Just like the Viking wedding, I've heard of it but I've never seen it before. So, I pay close attention to every step of the preparation— how the villagers chop down trees to make a boat, how Alfonse and Veronica get the couple's belongings and put them on the boat, how they make and ignite a pyre, how they prepare bows and arrows, how Mister Gustav very gently carries Victor and Yesung in each arm and carefully lays them down on the boat, and how the chieftain ties the couple's holding hands with a red thread…

"May yer two find each other in the next, better life."

Mister Gustav chants and everyone repeats after him, including me. After that, he slowly pushes the boat into the water and picks up a bow and an arrow. Igniting the arrow, the chieftain waits until the boat has sailed for some distance and releases the arrow. It precisely lands on the mast and sets it aflame. Then, at his signal, the villagers also shoot the fire arrows. They create an arch in the air before diving down on the boat, further burning it. We watch the boat engulfed in flame sailing farther and farther from the land until it disappears at the horizon…

May you two find each other in the next, better life, Victor, Yesung...

*****************************

What happened after the funeral was a blur. I remembered going back to the village with everyone and locked myself in my room for the rest of the day, drowning myself in tears and sorrow. However, I didn't stay in that pitiful state for too long. The next day, I forced myself to leave sadness behind and continued to work on the memoir. At that time, I had already done rewriting Victor, Yesung, and Mister Gustav's parts in chronological order. So, I worked on my part which is the final chapter of the story. I also interviewed the chieftain a bit more to further polish the memoir. I wasn't sure how long it took me. Time seemed irrelevant to me without my friends by my side. Eventually, the memoir was completed when the sun was shining blindingly in the sky and wildflowers were blooming beautifully. I decided to make two more copies of the memoir which took me another month. The leaves had turned blazing orange when I finally left Jötun, a small Viking village full of big-hearted people. I gave one of the two copies of the memoir to Mister Gustav and he promised to pass it down to the next generations. Then, I started my journey back to London.

.

.

.

.

The journey was uneventful. I dropped by Berlin to visit Margaret, my dear older sister who gave me a lead to this meaningful discovery. I stayed at her and her brother-in-law's house for a week. I told them about everything and left another copy of the memoir with her, just in case, because I knew of the risks I have to take for publishing it. After a tearful farewell, my sister promised to pass down the memoir to her children and so on and I resumed my journey back to London.

.

.

.

.

I took the original memoir with me and stepped foot in London, my home that I've been apart from for two years? I wasn't sure about time anymore. This memoir is the only one that includes my story after the funeral and my journey back home. The other two copies end just as the ship burial funeral ends. Although Victor and Yesung's stories end there, mine just begin. I don't have to be a genius to know that the memoir will draw hatred from many people for spreading blasphemy, namely homouality and forbidden love between a man and a monster (in the public's eyes anyway). Despite knowing that, I still braced myself and went to many publishers begging them to publish the memoir and reveal the truth. However, it went well just as I expected. I got disgusted looks thrown at me no matter what publishers I went to, some even spitting at my face and calling me a Satan's servant. I didn't give up. I promised Victor that I'll publish the memoir so I will do it. If I couldn't ask any publishers to publish it, then I just had to do it myself. Luckily, I had some savings so it should be enough to create at least a hundred copies and self-publish them. I'll fulfill the promise no matter what it costs. Even though I received threatening letters and my house got vandalized, I would never stop. I'll publish the memoir and spread the truth to the world. But, just in case that something happened to me...

If this memoir ever finds its way into your hands, I beg that you read it with a heart free of judgment. I am but a storyteller. My story is not of your concern but theirs— a story of two lost souls who found their other half in this cruel world.

—Martin R. Shelley