~~~

     Self-love aside. All those earlier assertions fly out the window when she steps into the neon, gogo-flashing room. At first, all she can see is Sana rushing her, with a huge grin and a loud squeal.
     "Nayeonie! You're here."
     She wraps Nayeon in a bear hug, and while usually, these embraces involve Sana shoving the head of her victims to her chest, in her excitement, she leaves room for Nayeon's head over her shoulder. Allowing her to take in the rest of the room. She recognizes a few faces. Some vaguely, some intimate, and some not at all (except for a light scratching at the base of her skull that warns her she's seen that person before). 
     This happens particularly for one person who's standing sideways, in front of someone who's seated. Nayeon racks her brain trying to put a name to this face when she takes another look at the one sitting down, and the air rushes from her lungs as if she just got socked in the gut.
     Sana notices her body stiffening and pulls back to ask her what's wrong. The moment she lets go, Nayeon does a 180 and bolts from the room. Most of the occupants saw her when she came in or their attention was directed to her by Sana's greeting. The girl with the dark blue hair wasn't one of them. With everyone now looking at the empty doorway, she shifts her attention there, but it really is empty. She looks around the room and realizes Sana is no longer present. 

     Nayeon is hyperventilating. She thinks to go to the bathroom to hide, but that is still too close. So she opts for leaving altogether. She needs to breathe freely. When she exits the building the breaths come easier but she's still shaken. She feels like she's been ambushed, except she noticed the trap seconds before it sprung closed to cut off her head. As she makes her way down the street, her heart pumps rapidly, powering adrenaline through her system. The stimulation of her surroundings just barely filters through her consciousness. She walks on autopilot, making it a good distance away before Sana catches up. She's been calling her name, but Nayeon doesn't even register Sana's hand on her wrist until she's being slowed down. And even then, she shrugs it off to keep going.
     "Nayeon. Nayeon, wait." Sana says, catching her by the elbow. She pulls hard enough this time to get Nayeon to turn towards her, but when she does, it's to air her grievances.
     "You set me up." She exclaims shoving Sana.
     "I wha--"
     "You knew she'd be there. Why? Why would…" Nayeon gasps, still fighting to force air down her lungs. She cuts Sana with a glare before turning back around and storming off.
     This time Sana gets in front of Nayeon, refusing to let her go on.
     "Hold on, Nayeon. I don't know what you're talking about. Who was there? What happened? "
     Nayeon stops trying to force her way past. All the moving is only making it harder on her. She huffs out a breath, trying to piece together her thoughts.
     "Momo." She sighs, tears spring to her eyes at the thought of running into the girl she'd decided to give up on. 
     Really. 
     On her way to karaoke, Nayeon vowed never to step foot in Nardon's again and to never think of Momo's name. She was only a stranger and she shouldn't be taking up so much of Nayeon's headspace. 
     So she'd been determined to let tonight be her stepping stone. The jump off-point to a new life. One where her every thought wasn't plagued by a stranger she's only seen in one place.
     The universe sure had a ed up sense of humor. 
     "Momoring?" Sana asks,  confused. "What did she do to you?" Sana gasps. "Did she steal your lunch money? Are you guys in a treacherous feud?"
     Nayeon frowns at the attempt at humor. How could Sana be making jokes when she felt like the world was imploding. Sana picks up on her growing distress and changes tactics. She leads Nayeon to a nearby boutique with an outdoor common area so they can sit. After getting Nayeon on a couch, she sits beside her and rubs circles on her back. The calming gesture slows Nayeon's breathing and the tears retreat from her eyes.
     "Better, " Sana says once she's sure Nayeon can answer. The older girl's nod is so cute Sana almost squeals and hugs Nayeon's face to her chest. But she resists the urge.
     "Okay, good. Do you think you can tell me what happened? Did you and Momo have a fight?"
     Nayeon shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut. This is so embarrassing and totally stupid. She's a grown- woman for Christ's sake. What is she, in middle school? 
     They're not 6th graders talking about their crushes and braiding each other's hair. Well, half of that is right, but you get it. This isn't how it's supposed to go in adult society. She should be able to vocalize her feelings and communicate to her friend why she feels like her sky is falling. But she hasn't even told Jeongyeon and Jihyo who Momo is or even what she looks like. Going into the details about the woman she's totally not in love with just seems too permanent. 
     Sana sits patiently waiting for her to say more, but what more is there to say? Besides everything. 
     "Mo… Mom…" Nayeon whimpers. She shakes her head and tries again. "Momo's the woman I… the one Jihyo told you about."
     She waits for Sana's reaction, but when there is none, she turns to find her looking at Nayeon strangely. Well the reaction itself is strange. In a situation like this, normally Sana would be all giddy and offer to set Nayeon up with someone she's obviously close to. Instead, her expression is unreadable and she doesn't seem to be happy at all.
     Her silence is beginning to make Nayeon uncomfortable and she's about to break it when Sana finally speaks. 
     Her tone is cautious, almost cold. "Jihyo said you've been acting weird… towards the person you like. Like following them around and stuff."
     It isn't a question, but Nayeon nods her confirmation. 
     "You've been… You're here." Sana accuses. She sounds angry and Nayeon looks away before she can glimpse the judgment in her eyes.
     "You're the one who's been stalking Momo? " 
     Nayeon flinches as Sana shoots to her feet.
     "When Jihyo said it, she made it seem like some kind of joke, but… You've been freaking her out for the last two weeks. She was getting ready to call the police!"
      Nayeon's never seen Sana angry before, and honestly, it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't directed towards her. Or if she didn't already feel like crap. Her shoulders curve in, and her whole body begins to tremble, and she can feel the tears resurfacing. 
     She swears to God if she cries in public… Clearly, she should have stayed home and taken her nap.
     Sana stops herself from losing it on Nayeon. She can see that the woman is already beating herself up and the last thing she needs is Sana's berating. But it's hard. Momo has been really scared and stressed lately. The idea that it was Nayeon's doing is more than she can handle. 
     But she promised Nayeon that she would make her feel better. And Minatozaki Sana is not one to break promises.
     She rests her hands on Nayeon's shoulders and the older woman flinches like she's been struck. This sends a pang of guilt straight to Sana's heart, but she remains determined. 
     "I'm sorry, Nayeon," she sighs. "Momo's my friend, but so are you. I shouldn't have gotten upset like that. I know you haven't been trying to hurt her."
     … 
     "You haven't been trying to hurt her have you?" Sana says playfully. 
     Nayeon shoots her an exasperated look, to which Sana just giggles and wraps Nayeon in a warm hug. This time, leading her head to Sana's chest. Nayeon groans in contempt of the action but doesn't fight it.
     "You must have been quite out of sorts if you managed to turn a girl off this much."
     Nayeon groans again, sinking deeper into Sana's warmth. The threat of tears leaves again and they stay that way for a while, holding each other.
     Eventually, Sana sits back down, Nayeon's head on her shoulder. 
     "Still up for some karaoke?" She asks.
     Nayeon shakes her head. 
     "Come on, I promised to make you feel better, remember? Plus I got off to a rough start. You at least have to let me try and redeem myself."
     "But Momo is--"
     "Is just a person. Besides, you don't even have to talk to her."
     "But it'll be so awkward."
     "Well, you both have enough friends there to where you won't even need to acknowledge each other."
     "That'll be more awkward. "
     "Look, all you  have to do is give an initial greeting, then you don't have to look at her for the rest of the night."
     "Noooo," Nayeon whines. "You don't get it. I can barely look her in the eye. Every time I try, I forget my own name, and whenever she's around I forget what I'm supposed to do or say. All I can do is stare, it's so--"
     "Hey, I got you tonight, okay? We can work on fixing whatever the hell is wrong with you some other time. And while I know Jihyo would disagree, I say: 'As of this moment, Momo does not exist in your mind as anything but another passing blip in the grander scheme of things.'"
     "Can you even say that? Isn't she your friend?"
     "Correction, she's my best friend. But I'm here for you Nayeonie. And I promise to not let you embarrass yourself in front of, she, who shall not be named." 
     Nayeon scoffs but takes Sana's hand when she offers to help her up. Despite Sana being more Jihyo's friend (more like Jihyo's imminent lover), Nayeon and Jeongyeon have gotten to know her pretty well. She is loyal and compassionate in a way that most people aren't. And quick to make promises, but steadfast in keeping them. She was one of a kind and Nayeon felt lucky to know her. With those emotions roiling within, she surprises Sana with a kiss on the cheek. The latter giggles and returns the favor. 
     Nayeon huffs resigned. "Thanks."
     Sana just laughs again. "Aww, you're so cute Nayeonie. Let's go."
     When Sana starts pulling her back in the direction of the karaoke place, Nayeon hesitates for a split second. But when she looks into Sana's eyes, she knows she can trust her. And even if she has to pretend for a little while that Momo doesn't exist, she's determined to have fun tonight. Maybe even because of that.

     When they return, it's to find that the party has already started. Food's been ordered, the lights are flashing in a disorienting fashion, music is blaring, and Joy and Yeri are screaming into microphones while Wendy, Rose`, Lia, and Lisa dance back up. The rest of the occupants cheer them on from behind the table swinging props or just clapping. 
     When the song ends, Sana briefly introduces Nayeon to the people in the room who don't know her, and she nods to them in greeting. Discreetly skipping over a certain navy-headed individual.
     They all acknowledge her and then the next person grabs the mic. Nayeon takes a seat on the opposite side of, she who shall not be named. Luckily, she is sitting at the end of the room farthest from the door.
     A girl Nayeon recognizes from Nardon's is up. Before her song starts, she quickly glares at Nayeon and then looks back to the screen before anyone else can see. Nayeon rolls her eyes at the theatrics but has to fight not to look at the other end of the room. Instead, she turns to her right to make small talk with the person there.
     "I didn't know you'd be here, Hyun."
     Irene turns away from the short girl up front to her ex. "I could say the same thing, Yeonie." 
     Nayeon smiles coolly at the nickname. "I didn't think you got out anymore. Aren't finals right around the corner?"
     "We just finished midterms."
     "Exactly. Gotta stay ready for the next round of torture."
     Irene laughs, leaning back into the seat. Nayeon doesn't miss the way she inches closer to her. Neither does Sana, on Nayeon's left. She nudges Nayeon with her elbow and winks. 
     Nayeon smiles as the girl, Chaeyoung, starts singing. The cheering returns and she joins in, dancing in her seat. The night goes on like that. 
     While her worries drift to the back of her mind, there is a foreboding that she can't shake. Luckily, whenever it becomes too hard to ignore, Sana's there to recapture her attention, never letting her even acknowledge it. She chats, she eats, she sings, and dances. With her very own personal guardian angel to chase away the darkness.