The last two weeks have been hard on Momo. First, she just barely failed one of her midterms, leaving room for a make-up she is definitely not looking forward to. Then, one of her dancers came down with strep and canceled for the week. And finally, her boss demoted her to janitorial duty after another customer complained about receiving the incorrect amount in change. Honestly, she's lucky she didn't get fired, but Ye-seul, her manager, owed one of her friends a favor. So for the time being Momo gets to keep her job. 
     But it wasn't like she was shorting people on purpose. She's been distracted lately with rehearsals for the upcoming showcase, and keeping her GPA above 2.5 (just barely passing). With worries like those to preoccupy her thoughts, her already suspect math skills were practically imaginary. 
     To top all that horribleness off, she's obtained a stalker. Normally, Momo isn't one to judge, and she can appreciate being appreciated. But she knows danger when she sees it. And the girl that has been coming to the store for two weeks now, gives off lure you to my van vibes. 
     She's pretty, Momo acknowledges. And the first time they met, she piqued Momo's interest. But right off the bat, the girl was weird, and kind of standoffish. Like she wanted Momo's attention, but not at the risk of talking to her. Momo could also feel the girl making snapshot assumptions about her as she openly took Momo in. That feeling grew as the girl visited the store not a day after their first encounter. This time she didn't even buy anything. She just prowled through the shelves, sneaking not-so-sneaky glances at Momo the whole time, then she left without saying a word. This happened a lot in those two weeks, and sometimes she wouldn't even enter the store. Just peek in, and if she saw Momo at the first glance she would leave.
     At present, Momo fully expects to be kidnapped, and she's debating whether she needs to call the police. Technically, they can't arrest someone before a crime is committed (which is completely moronic and counterproductive to the measures of safety), but maybe if they show up when she comes by, they can scare her off. 

~~~

     Maybe Nayeon isn't the smooth talker she thought she was. Maybe her memories of all her past relationships (Ha, hook-ups are more fitting) didn't happen the way she remembered them. 
     How did she even manage to talk to a girl? Did they approach her first? Was she always this nervous? Did they smell as nice? Were they this intimidating and adorable at the same time? Did they make her feel so inadequate, so… so… uh, insane? 
     Truly, Nayeon feels like she is losing her mind. She returns to Momo's job to do what she should have done the day they … met isn't quite right. She may know the former cashier's name, but Momo certainly doesn't know hers. And all Nayeon's been able to do so far is watch from a safe distance as the object of her breakdown lives life ignorant to her. 
     She tries, she really does try to reach out, but every time she makes eye contact with those pools of liquid night that Momo has for eyes, Nayeon's brain ceases all function and the only option available is retreat. So she comes and goes, like a specter haunting the poor girl. And Nayeon can tell Momo is getting uncomfortable. Well, she's probably felt awkward this entire time, but now it's gone on for so long that she can no longer hide her discomfort. 
     Nayeon sulks as she makes her way home. Kicking rocks and cursing underneath her breath. When she gets there, she whines to Jeongyeon and Jihyo about her failures in hopes of comfort and solidarity. Instead, she receives mocking taunts from the former and a tongue-lashing for being a creeper from the latter.
     It's not like she wants it to be this way, but she really can't help it. Something about Momo does things to her body that she can't explain. When she says this to Jeongyeon, the younger girl takes a flippant attitude and suggests it's a passing phase, insisting she just needs to get over it.
     "What are you, in love or something?" Jeongyeon teases, but something about the word has Nayeon's head reeling. 
     She doesn't believe in love at first sight. She barely believes in the construct of love itself. In her mind, love is a tool used to excuse the possessive tendencies that come from monogamous mindsets. 
     Love is a constraint in itself. To love is to bind someone to you. 
     And while Nayeon is all for being in one-on-one relationships, she doesn't see the need to tie another person to you indefinitely. 
    She's taken too long to respond and Jeongyeon looks at her incredulously. 
     "Seriously?" 
     "I didn't say anything."
     "Exactly. Isn't this the part when you smack me and say 'don't be an idiot, you idiot? '"
     "I guess not," Nayeon says, quickly losing interest in the conversation. 
     "Come on Nay, you mean to tell me all these years and you fall in love with some cashier you don't even know?"
     "I am not telling you anything."
     "You don't know her, Nayeon! For all you know she could be a trafficker or a stripper."
     "Why would you put those in the same category? One is definitely worse than the other. And also, what's wrong with being a stripper?"
     "Well, for one thing, their bodies go on display for the world to see, and you're like, super territorial."
     "Psh, am not. Besides, what does that have to do with anything?"
     "Please, you have major trust issues. No way you fall for someone that can't fully belong to you."
     Nayeon doesn't let this argument sink in as she retreats to her room, blocking out Jeongyeon's mocking laughter, chasing at her heels. You're supposed to go to your friends so they can lighten your load, not tack on more worries. Unfortunately for Nayeon, that's Jeong's specialty. She loves making Nayeon think through her problems with no quick fixes. That's why she usually goes to Jihyo for serious help, which is usually worse because her method of problem-solving is to face adversity head-on. There is nothing that can't be solved with a direct approach in Jihyo's eyes. Which is why she'll be no help in this. She cannot be direct with Momo. There's no telling what Nayeon'll say or how she'll act. Which is only a secondary issue compared to the fact that her brain shuts down when in the vicinity of Momo. 
     She opts for a quick nap. No point in working on her essay while her head's full of Jeong's nonsense.  She'll never get anything done. 
     As soon as her head hits the pillow, her phone goes off, alerting her to a message. She groans and rolls over, fully intending to ignore it until she wakes up. Not even ten seconds later it starts ringing. 
     Nayeon groans louder, folding the pillow over her head trying to ignore the sound. When it finally stops, she relaxes, lulled into a false sense of calm. It lasts about another ten seconds before it rings again. This is all the indication Nayeon needs to know who's calling, and that it won't stop until she answers. Even if she turned her phone off, the person would just bug someone else, most likely Jeongyeon, until she responded. 
     With a heavy sigh and a darkening mood, Nayeon picks up.
     "What!" She growls into the receiver. Nayeon knows it's not urgent, or the girl on the other end would have just come over.
     "Well. What crawled up your and died." Comes the cheerful reply. She doesn't sound at all discouraged by Nayeon's tone. But then again, she never is.
     "What Sana. I was about to take a nap."
     "At 2 in the afternoon?" Sana giggles. "Does the baby need a rest from a hard day at school? Oh, poor sweetheart."
     "I'm hanging up now."
     "Wait, I have something to ask you."
     "No. Whatever it is, the answer is no." Nayeon sighs sitting up. She knows that no matter what, she'll get no peace until Minatozaki has her say.
     "But you don't even know what I want."
     "But I know it'll be annoying." Nayeon mocks in the same cute voice Sana uses.
     "Look, Jihyo said you've been feeling down lately. I just want to cheer you up. That's all."
     On, no. Nayeon knew what Sana's brand of cheering up entailed. And while she's usually not opposed to getting drunk and or arrested, She has a lot she needs to be working on this week. She can't afford to be detained or indebted.
     "I can hear your silent judgments. Nothing crazy I promise. I just want to take you to karaoke. That's it, I swear."
     Nayeon scoffs. "You mean you want me to third wheel you and Jihyo, so I can temper her competitiveness when she gets too excited."
     "No," Sana says childishly like she's one-upped Nayeon. "Jihyo isn't even gonna be there."
     "You want us to go alone. Wow, that sounds boring. "
     "Okay, your attitude is a lot right now.  Look, some friends from the art department are going and when I told Jihyo, she said to ask you. And before you say anything snarky, you know how much I love your voice, and when I ask you to come with us, it's for Jihyo's sake, because you're the only one who can keep up with her.
     She told me about your crush Nayeonie, and how messed up you are about it. I promise I just want to help. Please come." Sana whines and Nayeon mutes the phone to groan because sometimes she has trouble saying no to Sana, especially when she asks like that. And that's probably not a good thing, but she can feel herself giving in. When she un-mutes, the energy on the other end is ecstatic, like Sana knows what Nayeon did and that she changed her mind. She doesn't try to hide her sigh this time as she agrees. Sana gives a high-pitched squeal and happily gives Nayeon the details of the event. Promising she won't regret it and hangs up with a 'bye Nayeonie' and a dramatic smack of her lips.
     Nayeon already regrets it. The group is going at 4:30 and it's already 2:23. She might as well start getting ready. She leaves her room to take a shower.
     Who knows? Maybe tonight is exactly what she needs. Maybe Jeongyeon's right and this whole Momo thing blows over in another week. Maybe she'll finally remember herself and ask the girl out. Maybe, all she needs is a hot shower and a night out with friends to cool her head. Grad school's been tough; maybe she just needs some time to recalibrate. 
     As the water slides down her body and her thoughts drift away, Nayeon feels the stress of the last two weeks drift away and assertions she's always believed about herself rise to the forefront of her mind. 
     Nayeon is Kind
     Nayeon is Smart
     Nayeon is Beautiful 
     What people often mistake for conceit, is just self-love, and she knows it can seem like a lot sometimes, but it's always afforded her confidence that can and has gotten her through hard times. And she can get through this too. She just has to remember that her mind can work wonders, her heart can heal, and she loves the way she looks. And there is nothing wrong with that. Period!