[CONTENTID1] FINAL [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] sweetest lies and bitter truth [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

warnings: mildly ual content, dickhead suho,

weakass oc, bad writing

It was never part of her plan to eat her lunch while having someone hosting a show in front of her. She was sitting there by herself, her only friend slash roommate was busy so it left her no choice but to eat alone. She had always had fewer friends and had been by herself since forever, so the alone part wasn’t the problem. The actual problem was the group of people who were sitting right across her table.

They were making jokes and laughed like there was only their group right there. They didn’t care if they were a little bit too loud that they might have interrupted other people, who were eating in the same cafeteria with them, because they had always been like that.

They were the popular bunch of the school, everyone knew and heard of them. Each one of them was the star of the school. They were the cool freaks of the campus, but everyone still wanted to be like them—of course, who wouldn’t like to be friends with the cool kids?

Arin was also just like them, she also wanted to be their friend. In fact, she was a part of them—at least that's what she thought—but not anymore. She had been in their clique for quite some time, and she had to say that it felt good to be part of it. It felt so damn good to be in the center of attention of other people—she could still remember the look she received on the first day she hung out with them. It made her even more euphoric that she got to briefly date the guy whom she had a crush on since her freshman year.

Though the relationship was more like it was just her delusion thinking that he really liked her.

His name is Kim Suho.

They dated for a while, which was like a fever dream to her. She still couldn’t believe that Suho would agree to be with a plain jane like her. It was most likely just a game he was playing, but she didn’t care. She just loved every bit of her time with him.

She was a simp, a total simp for him.

Currently still a simp.

She still liked him, despite the lies he fed her. All those sweet lies he made—were a drug, and she couldn’t live without them. Even though their whole relationship was just his acting or if he was doing charity.

He was sitting right across her table,

His seat was right in front of her.

But she didn’t dare to lift her head to look in his direction.

Because he was with his new girlfriend. She could see it in her peripheral vision that one of his arms was draped on her shoulders, he was probably whispering jokes to her because she kept laughing whenever he leaned in to say something to her ears.

He did it like Arin was invisible, as if she wasn’t there in front of him—it was as if he had already forgotten about her existence.

Their voices easily reached her ears, and it took all of her willpower to not look at them.

Because it hurt so ing bad whenever she saw them being all lovey-dovey—something he never did to her when they were together. Suho had never shown any affection to her that way, publicly or privately. The only time he would touch her was when they had .

While with his new girl, he showed her off proudly like she was some precious trophy. The smirk on his face said it all how content he was while having the girl by his side.

And it was like he was rubbing it into her face about his new girl.

Arin knew she was down bad, very bad, but she was in too deep. The emotion she had for Suho was indescribable. The fact that she was known as “Suho’s girl” was everything she could ask for. It was everything she ever wanted and more.

Even if they had called it quits for about three weeks now, she’s still down bad for him. Even if he had already found his new girl—or you can say his new victim.

His new girl is so pretty, Arin could never imagine herself looking that damn pretty. Arin is no one to compare to her. She, Irene, is like a goddess. It was absurd that their names even sound similar to each other.

The perfect pretty smile, black silky hair, perfect body. She is beautiful, she looks kind. Everyone agreed that she was the perfect match for Suho. So who did Arin think she was—that she could come up to that level?

Arin actually suspected it when she learned Suho started talking to her, but she didn’t say nor confront him about anything. She was scared at the thought of losing him. She preferred to stay dumb, to hurt alone internally than to lose him. She did everything to keep Suho, that was how much she loved him. However, in the end, she still lost him.

“By the way, who is the girl you were talking to when we met on the campus? It seems like you guys are getting closer to each other.” Arin asked on that one night when Suho came knocking on her front door—with an idea to get his wet. She tried to make herself sound chill and natural. The kind of curiosity that wouldn’t make him know she was jealous or something.

“Irene?” Suho her hair softly—it was perhaps the most endearing affection he had done to her. He was leaning against the bed headboard, while Arin was resting her head on his chest. It was one of the rarest nights when he would agree to cuddle a little bit after . “I am getting some tutor from her for this midterm. She is an ace when it comes to literature.”

“Oh,” it was the only word she could return. Arin didn’t say anything afterward, she just laid down there while listening to his heartbeat. Its rate was normal, she could tell. She really hoped that he was telling the truth; and if he didn’t, she still couldn’t do anything about it either.

Tutoring.

It was just the beginning.

It was when everything slowly crumbled down.

Because sometime after that night, Suho had distanced himself away from her. He ignored her texts and calls. He barely acknowledged her existence though she was standing beside him. His focus was on the phone; he had that type of smile, which he never gave to her, when he received a message or when was texting on his phone.

She remembered the time after when they just had ; Suho left right away with a smile on his face after a text pinged his phone.

“I’m busy today. Can we make it sometime later?”

It was always that excuse he brought up whenever she asked if they could go out somewhere together.

“She’s just a friend. We’re having a project together.”

He would tell her that then started kissing her, thinking that she would believe in all of the craps.

Which she actually did.

Because she preferred to be fed on the sweet lies rather than facing the bitter truth.

Arin should be mad at how he ran to another girl and had her in his arms by the second week after they split. She should be flipping everything upside down at how Suho could possibly have cheated on her when they were still together, but instead, she was heartbroken and sad. She was sad about the fact that she and he were no longer a thing anymore. He was the light of her life, the reason she woke up every morning for. Suho was the reason why she still kept going on every day.

Her friend said she’s stupid to like a guy like him.

A guy who was anything but a faithful lover. A guy who gave other girls eyes here and there. A guy who would get his wet with every girl he saw. A guy who played heart like it was some kind of a game.

She was told that it wasn’t worth it to grieve over a toxic relationship.

But her friend didn’t understand.

And she would never understand and know what Arin saw in the guy.

“I will never understand what you see in Suho, Arin. He’s just taking you for granted!” Sana tried to talk some sense to her friend because the latter clearly didn’t see the red light in Suho. She shook Arin by her shoulders, in hope that it could wake Arin up from whatever wildest dream she was in.

“No, Sana.” Arin shook her head, “you know how much I like him. I’ve liked him since we were freshmen, you can’t just tell me to let go of my two years crush like this when we are just starting!” She was mad—shouldn’t a friend be happy at the fact she found a man for herself?

“But he isn’t the right guy for you!” Sana was frustrated at her friend’s oblivion. “Look at his friends; they don’t seem to like you either. Arin, stop this. I don’t want you to be involved with them any longer, you would only get hurt at the end.”

“I don’t care if he’s right or not. As long as I’m still going out with him, I’m fine. Why can’t you be happy for a friend?” She returned with her harsh question, “And his friends? They are just like that—and you just don’t know who they really are.”

“But can’t you see the eyes they give you when you sit at the same table with them? How they would roll their eyes like you are an eye sore to them? Arin, don’t lie to yourself.” Sana tried. She tried her best to convince her friend what was right and what was wrong. She didn’t want her to get hurt because she didn’t trust Suho.

She had always doubted him since the first day he talked to Arin. The day he suddenly became friendly and all with Arin, like he didn’t just act like she was invisible. He had ignored her for all years long, not when Arin tried to earn his attention.

It was a known fact that she had a crush on the guy.

Quite embarrassing of her, honestly, it was like high school all over again.

Arin had tried to do anything just to get Suho to notice her existence, but he never spared a glance at her attempts. He would instead joke about it and laugh it off with his friends at the poor girl.

So what suddenly changed his mind to look at her friend? Sana never trusted Suho because there must have been something up under his sleeves.

“I don’t care what they think of me, Sana.” Arin still refused to listen to her friend’s warning, “it’s about me and Suho. It’s not about them, I don’t need them to approve anything of us,” she added. Not wanting to hear any from her friend longer, Arin stood up to leave Sana alone in the room—calling for her name.

Sana was neither right nor wrong about how Suho’s peers treated her. They weren’t exactly that fully nice to her, but at least they didn’t leave her out when she sat with them during lunch.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were nice to her. They treated her like they approved her to be at the same table with them. The two goofy boys would talk and throw jokes at her sometimes, but Arin wasn’t quite good at reacting because she’s an introvert and she was quite slow in catching their humor.

Kai and Sehun were quiet—it was their personality, actually. Kai would break his silence sometimes—but it was mostly to tell Baekhyun and Chanyeol to shut up because they would get too noisy sometimes. Sehun would always have his stoic face, he rarely broke his signature resting face or reacting to anyone’s jokes when she was around.

He ignored her and acted like she wasn’t in his sight, and she sometimes could feel the judging eyes from them.

Was it really just their personality? Arin hoped it was just like that back then.

But Arin started to wonder if they really disliked her and if it was just an act they put up around her. What if everything was fake back then?

Because from what she saw and heard right then: it was all a new different scene, it was very different from when she was with them.

The vibe looked more lively—even Kai and Sehun started joking around and laughed loudly. She could hear their high-pitched laughter every now and then. She could even hear their voices talking to Irene, which sounded a bit too excited.

“By the way guys, Suho Busted! on Netflix last night, and you know what? The guy who is the detective looks so much like Sehun!” Said Irene. The mentioned show grabbed Arin’s attention. It was the show which she had always talked about and suggested it to Suho to watch, but the guy always would say back that he didn’t have time to watch some silly show. He said he didn’t have any interest.

But right then she heard Irene clearly say that he was the one who tuned in to the show.

It was his idea.

Arin couldn’t recall the time when she and Suho watched something together like a normal couple would because it was less to none. Now that she thought of it, they never spent any quality time together at all during the months they were together. There was no small talk, no movie night, no dates like others.

By dates, she meant there was never a normal meeting between her and Suho that didn’t involve . The only time that she might count as a date with him was when she was meeting him at the frats’ parties.

Or maybe sometimes when he would be in a nice mood, he would agree to go to the café with her—for a little short while before he could come up with an excuse like, his friends called him up for a sports practice and such.

Suho always put his friends before her.

Bros before hoes.

“Really?” Sehun, who was perked with interest after hearing that he looked like a celebrity, asked back to Irene. “I actually heard that quite a lot that I look like a celebrity,” he sounded like he was serious about, “I mean, I’m handsome—so of course, I’ll look like one.” A wave of laughter fell from his lips after he finished his words.

That was something that never happened when Arin was around.

Oh Sehun never muttered a single word nor a small reaction—not even at his friends’ jokes. He only kept his stoic and cold gaze on his face.

However, just a second ago, she finally heard him reacting to Irene wholeheartedly. It was like he was reborn as a new person with a different persona.

Did they really hate her?

“Shut up, Sehun!” Kai whined at his friend’s absurd and egoistic words, “I bet Irene was talking about Yoo Jaesuk, so don’t be too proud.”

“Hey Kai, Yoo Jaesuk is good-looking!” Irene defended the star while laughing at his joke, “and do you know that Suho is actually a genius? I mean, he could solve all the clues on that show!”

“Really?” The boys were surprised as they asked the same thing in a union.

“Babe, I’ve always been a genius at this thing—critical thinking and stuff—I only at studying, which is why I asked for your help in literature,” said Suho. Anyone could also hear a hint of his cocky grin at the end of his sentence.

Irene’s giggle filled the big space, “babe, you have no idea of how happy I would be if you work just as hard on your assignments like how you were solving the clues on that show.”

Her words brought the boys surrounding her laughing once again. Them reacting to whatever she was saying was something that Arin had never experienced.

Everytime she talked, they just kept their mouths shut and silent most of the time.

“She’s right, bro.” Baekhyun said while struggling to hold his laughter, “maybe you should focus on getting your degree too.” Another wave of laughter came after the boy finished his words.

Of course, Suho would always be their target.

And he came back with another comment about it, which kind of quite a surprise to Arin because Suho usually just let them be—by not saying anything to feed their crap further.

His comment wasn’t actually directly to Baekhyun or any other of the boys. It was for Irene. “Nah babe, if I was smart at this, I wouldn’t have asked you for help and we wouldn’t be together by now.”

The boys booed at his corny outcoming. Some pretended to vomit, Arin guessed it was Chanyeol and Baekhyun; and some were crying and telling him to shut up.

Arin also caught something in between those lines they spoke, which itched her to look at what was happening with them.

“Eww, go get a room!”

She had never regretted the life decision she made in her life—not even when she decided to play with Suho’s mind game—but right that moment, she regretted it so much she lifted her head up to look at what they were doing at the table across right then.

With just a slight glance at their table, Arin could see the way Suho attacked Irene’s cheek repeatedly with kisses, while the girl was trying to get away from him. Though there was a big bright smile on her face, along with some giggles as well.

Arin wanted to bawl her eyes out. The sight in front of her was sickening. She felt sick in the stomach.

Yes, she was very much jealous of Irene.

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