The day had come for Seungri to take his exams, and he wasn’t too thrilled. The nervous boy got up and ate some toast, ignoring his mother’s pleas for him to eat more.
        “I’m good, Mom. I promise.” Then he was yelling over his elementary school siblings, who were poking at each other and screaming at the top of their lungs about this and that. He grabbed his sister’s hand and dragged her out of the house before she was ready, ignoring the way she moaned as he walked her to school.
           “Well, I guess I’ll say good luck,” she muttered as he stood at the stairs.
        “I won’t need it,” Seungri lied confidently before walking away briskly. He heard her yell back, “Well, good- I didn't mean it!” as the space between them grew larger, which made him smile. He felt the cold nipping through his socks as he stepped into the
snow. As he neared the school, he saw Seunghyun ahead of him, trudging along, his long legs stepping over small hills of icy fluff.
            “Hyung!” Seungri called before thinking about it. Something about Seunghyun made him do everything before thinking about it. Seungri called him before thinking about it, ran towards him before thinking about it, and waved as he grinned widely before thinking about it. He arrived in front of Seunghyun, who had stopped walking and turned around to watch the spectacle of Seungri’s slippery steps through the snow.
            “Hyung,” Seungri panted as he bent over, taking a breath.
            “Annyeong.” Seunghyun ruffled Seungri’s hair before turning around and continuing towards the school, Seungri following  close behind. The winter breeze blew Seunghyun’s cologne past the younger boy, and he closed his eyes to take in the scent. It was something that no one in his grade wore yet, cologne. He should probably start. He was thinking of ways to ask Seunghyun what kind he wore, so he could maybe get away with wearing the same thing, when he remembered he had bigger things to worry about and pulled himself back to reality.
            “Ugh, Hyung! I don’t want to take exams,” he groaned.
            “Don’t be a bum. Just take them.”
            “Did you just call me a bum? I’m not a bum.”
            “I’m denouncing you as my freshman if you don’t rank in the top fifty, so I hope you aren’t,” Seunghyun said smirking.
            Seungri thought about how far he was from that list every year. He was strictly in the middle of the class, but even so that was a good eighty or so spaces away. He tightened his lips as he frowned. A jump like that was pretty unlikely no matter how he thought about it. Seunghyun looked down at him.
            “You don’t think you can do it?” he asked.
            “No way. It’s too many spaces. Twenty maybe, but not that many.”
            “You could probably jump a hundred if you actually tried.” Seunghyun ruffled Seungri’s hair a second time. “See ya around,” he said as he picked up speed, veering off to his side of the school towards Daesung and a few others who were waiting for him off in the distance, leaving Seungri blushing in the cold.
            Seungri watched Seunghyun receive pats on the shoulders, everyone greeting him happily as they cut through the faculty parking lot. The cold wind blew through him, nipping at his nose and fingertips. He knew the school was the closest solace from it, and although his body yearned for warmth, he stood in place. He couldn’t move… not until Seunghyun was out of sight.
           

            Chaerin was at the top of Seungri’s class and she let no one forget it. She strutted in the classroom with confidence exuding out of every pore. She had a test to ace. Seungri frowned. As the test was laid in front of him, Seungri wished that he could feel that sure of himself, and he couldn’t help but say a quick prayer for luck just before he started. He opened the test booklet with a deep breath, preparing for the worst, as usual. For some reason, this time he didn’t run into any questions that looked like they were written in a different galaxy. He got through the math easily, tripping up only a few times. He reached a particular question and remembered studying with his hyung.
            “You’re going to find the square root here,” Seunghyun had said.
            “That doesn’t make any sense, I should just divide it by this number here," the younger boy had grumbled beligerently. 
            Seunghyun had groaned in such a way that made Seungri want to purposely coax another moan of frustration from his hyung. It had taken a lot of effort not to do it purposefully, even though he did it enough as it was.
            “Just remember to find the square root. Just remember. Don’t use your logic for questions like this,” Seunghyun had said. Seungri had felt insulted then- his logic was perfectly fine- but now that he was sitting there in front of a question just like it, he was thankful for the advice, doing as his hyung said then moving on to the next problem. English stumped him for a bit, as he hadn’t gone over it with Seunghyun, but eventually he trudged his way through that portion. When he had finished his exam around the same time as Chaerin, he felt unsure of himself, looking over it again and again. It was the first time in a year he had actually tried on a test and had had more than enough time to finish it.
            He and Chaerin brought their tests up together, and as he laid his test down on the submission pile, Chaerin whispered in his ear, “Are you sure you’re completely done? This one is important.”
            He ignored her warning. He wasn’t sure actually, not at all, but he didn’t need to tell her that. He arrogantly threw his head back, halfway looking down his nose at her.
            “Never been more sure,” he tried to make the words sound nonchalant and not at all like the attempt to assure himself that they were. Chaerin pursed her lips.
            “If you say so,” she shrugged.
            The rest of the exam period was surreal. Seungri had never been in that position before, finishing before the alotted time was up, and didn't know what to do as he was confined to the silence that only the school bell would release him from. He ended up taking out his notebook and writing things that popped into his head as he stared out the window. By the end of the period, he had written “Choi Seunghyun” seven times.
           

            Seungri still had to see Jiyong and perfect his monologue after the exam. The freshman sighed as he stared out the window, waiting for Jiyong to show, while he watched snow building on the sills of the windows. He wondered when Jiyong would warm up to him. For some reason, it didn’t seem unlikely, and that gave him a bit of hope. If he could just do well on his monologue today, he knew he could patch things up. Seungri wondered why he wanted to know Jiyong. Perhaps it was because Jiyong had been friends with Seunghyun. Maybe it was another way to get closer to his hyung. He didn’t know. He sighed once more before hearing a clear laugh echo through the hall.
            He turned to see it was Jiyong’s as he walked with four girls, his arms around two of them.
            “Ladies you’re killing me,” Seungri made out Jiyong saying, or something equally cliché and off-putting. Seungri scoffed. Something like that really couldn’t work on those girls; they were all gorgeous and probably use to guys acting like Jiyong, he thought. But when Jiyong looked to them they all giggled, the two under his arms blushing the brightest, one hitting him playfully and the other tugging on her skirt nervously.
            Jiyong put his hands in his pockets, releasing the girls, and continued to walk. He spotted Seungri in the distance and turned to wink at them before saying goodbye, receiving cheerful waves and toothy smiles in return. The senior exuded cockiness as he turned around towards them and waved back in the form of a halfhearted salute before facing Seungri again, his slim frame radiating the essence of cool. Jiyong kept the sly smirk on his face even when he looked to Seungri, and for a minute, Seungri imagined kissing the other boy's lips that pulled up coyly, before shaking his head. Seunghyun, Seunghyun, Seunghyun.
            “Let’s go.” Jiyong called as he walked towards the studio.
            “Well, I was thinking we could work in the study,” Seungri stammered out the words, trying to avoid the place where Jiyong had snapped and he had been attacked. Jiyong took a couple steps and stopped, looking back over his shoulder.
            “Look… I’m over it okay? All of it. I don’t care.”
            Seungri didn’t think the emotions Jiyong felt were the type to just go away, so he looked down so as to not be seen by Jiyong. The younger boy knew Jiyong would see that he didn’t believe him at all.
            “…Besides, I want to get this done,” Jiyong continued.
            Seungri could believe that statement though. Jiyong had a reputation to uphold, and the word around the school was that everyone had huge expectations for Seungri. Even people that weren’t in the theatrical department were looking forward to it. Just because he's my partner... doesn't mean anything. I might be terrible. Seungri hadn’t had doubts until now as he followed Jiyong’s light steps with his own. He had always prided himself on… well, on everything until the kings had come into his life. Now he had this constant feeling of being on edge, of doing things wrong like he was trying to make a home in a sand castle. Jiyong’s sandpaper demeanor didn’t do anything to help either.
            “Let’s start over," Seungri said reasonably. 
            “Let’s not and say we did,” Jiyong said, looking out the window as he walked. “I still don’t like you.”
            “Why not?"
            “Because I want to. I want to dislike you," the older boy replied childishly. 
            Seungri ran his hand along the wall, feeling the ripple of painted brick under his fingertips. “Why would you want something like that?”
            Jiyong sighed. “Because I get it.”
            “What?”
            “I get why they keep you around. It annoys me. You remind me… You remind me of what we used to be.”
            Seungri bit his lip, but still couldn’t stop himself from talking. “Hyung… and you?”
            “… And Youngbae, too- We were… How else can you say it but ‘friends’? There has to be a better word. People use that word too loosely.” Jiyong put his hands in his pockets. The hall walls weren’t enough to keep the cold from blowing through all the cracks and crevices of the building and they braced their shoulders against a cool draft that banged into the window panes.
            “Yeah, but you and Hyung-“
            “Oh,” Jiyong turned around. “You mean what I told you? About us in that studio?”
            Seungri looked up at Jiyong and nodded hesitantly before looking away to avoid the senior's gaze. He looked out to see the snow flurry in the sky, wind picking it up off the ground and making it dance in the light.
            “It wasn’t a lie, but it doesn’t matter anymore. You have that with him now,” Jiyong said, his attempt to be nonchalant betraying his bitterness before he turned around and began walking away.
            Is that... What he thinks? No way... No. Seungri was shocked, and his feet felt leaden as they refused to move. “It’s not like that," the freshman blurted out. "I... I want it to be, but it’s not. He’s just- He’s just my hyung.” Seungri worried his lip nervously.
            “You ‘want it to be’?”
            The younger boy continued looking out the window, so as to avoid Jiyong's harsh stare raking over him and hide his crimson cheeks. “You like him?” Jiyong asked lowly.
            “Maybe,” Seungri sighed resignedly before resting his head on the window pane. He began fogging up the window with his breath, drawing aimlessly with his fingers. He knew he was pouting, but he didn't care.
            Jiyong studied his face before letting out a small laugh. “No wonder Youngbae likes you.”
Seungri lifted his head up off the window and shot a look of confusion towards Jiyong. “Youngbae? He doesn’t like me!”
Jiyong smiled as he glanced up at the ceiling before answering with a smile. “You’re right; he’s never told me he did, so…”
Seungri felt uncomfortable with the way Jiyong’s words had made his heartbeat speed up. He felt as though he'd taken a shot of adrenaline and now he had the residual feelings lingering in him. The freshman blinked rapidly, a nervous tick making itself known. He's never told me he did... Why were the words disappointing? Seungri looked down on the ground, and he could feel his tick really becoming worse: he couldn’t stop blinking. What am I supposed to do now? What do I do with this feeling...? He felt slim fingers rest on his shoulder, and looked up to see Jiyong leaning into him, the scent of the older boy hovering around them.
            "Too bad you spend all your time with your hyung. You wouldn't know if he did or not."
            "He doesn't," Seungri said nervously.
            "No. Your hyung does though, huh?" Jiyong leaned even closer.
            “Jiyong-ssi,” Seungri stammered shakily as Jiyong placed his lips in front of Seungri’s face.
            “I just wonder what it’s like to have something he wants,” Jiyong whispered into Seungri’s mouth before kissing him. His soft lips pressing against Seungri’s chastely, although that was just a prelude, as Jiyong deepened the kiss, tilting his head and the younger boy's lowe lip into his mouth. Seungri didn’t know who Jiyong meant by 'he', Youngbae or Seunghyun, and he hesitated in submitting to Jiyong before he placed his hands on the svelte man’s waist while the older boy pressed him against the wall, making Seungri's head bang back into the window. He felt the senior press his tongue into his mouth, the hot muscle the flesh there. It was weird, the sensation of having another person’s body inside of him, but it was nice at the same time.
            It felt good for someone to want to kiss him, for someone to notice him that way, for anyone to notice him. Although he wouldn’t have minded if it was Youngbae’s arms he felt around him, or Seunghyun’s lips he had memorized in his mind for so long that he could almost feel them against his own. Seungri felt cheap and wrong, but somehow it still felt good. He still wanted it even though he didn’t, like a nice meal that you’re not in the mood to eat.
           He’d never kissed like this before. He liked the feeling of Jiyong on his lip, pressing his warm tongue against his own and he did the same, mirroring Jiyong’s actions to the best of his ability. He felt Jiyong’s harden next to his own through their uniforms and as the lithe boy began to buck into him, he felt the urge to back. Yet it also reminded him of what he was doing, and who it was with. He pulled his mouth away from Jiyong’s.
“I shouldn’t… do this.”
            Jiyong laughed lightly before pulling back, “Do what? It was just a kiss,” the older boy said nonchalantly, rolling his eyes at the freshman. The slim boy straightened his shirt before continuing to walk down the hallway. “C’mon, you still have to practice,” he called over his shoulder.