Author’s Note: Hey, it’s been a while. I didn’t want to abandon another fic, so I tried really hard to write these past couple of months. I also have plans for an epilogue that I hope to finish before the end of the year. Until then, I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

 

Without further ado…

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 “I really wished I hadn’t put off doing my laundry,” SinB groaned while scavenging her closet for a decent outfit to wear for her and Yerin’s lunch date… err lunch hangout later.  

  

It had been about two hours since Yerin left her apartment. In the first hour, SinB spent it lying on the couch, thinking about what Yerin had confessed to her while she was in her drunken state and questioning why the older girl neglected to tell SinB her true feelings once she had sobered up. In the second hour, SinB, tired from wrestling with her thoughts, pulled herself back to reality and began to get ready for their meetup. She jumped into the shower, letting the warm droplets cleanse and soothe her skin. In the midst of massaging her scalp, a series of new memories from last night unlocked: Yerin placing a kiss on her forehead, then her cheek, followed by her other cheek. SinB stood motionlessly in the bathtub, replaying the moments until the soap suds of her shampoo trickled down her forehead into the corner of her eye, causing a stinging sensation. She nearly flew out of the tub, frantically searching for the faucet handle to flush out the lather from her eyes. After her shower, she marched out of the bathroom, wet hair wrapped in a towel and wearing a fuzzy, pink bathrobe and matching slippers, to search for a decent outfit. 

 

SinB continued to flip through the remainder of clothes hanging in her closet. So many articles of apparel, yet she felt unsatisfied with her choices. She would grab a shirt and trouser combo off the rack, hold them against her body, glance at herself in the mirror, consider it for a second or two before shaking her head in disapproval, and shoving them into her now unorganized closet. Mentally exhausted, SinB took a step back, placed both hands on her hips, and exhaled a long sigh. 

 

What was supposed to be a fun, platonic hangout with her friend was starting to feel like the culmination of a first date. Despite coming to terms with her feelings for Yerin, there were still many unknown variables at play. Why didn’t Yerin bring up SinB’s embarrassingly drunken plea to kiss her? Why didn’t Yerin admit to actually kissing her several times? Why did Yerin continue to put up a front of being nothing more than a friend when in actuality she had confessed to falling in love with SinB? And why oh why did SinB have to be drunk during this entire affair? (SinB knew that she could put the blame on her ex for that one). 

 

SinB reached for her phone that was buried beneath a pile of clothes. She stared at the black screen, contemplating whether or not to submit to her anxious urges and cancel their lunch plans.  

 

“Forgive me, Yerin,” she said under her breath before unlocking her phone and tapping on the messaging icon. 

 

She quickly found hers and Yerin’s text thread. The last message was from Yerin several days ago; it was a GIF of an animated duck doing a silly dance. SinB bit down on her lower lip, thumbs hovering over the keyboard, unsure if this is really what she wanted to do. 

 

Just when she was about to type out an excuse, SinB noticed three dots had appeared on the screen. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head, and she could’ve sworn that her heart had stopped beating for a second. She clutched onto her phone, keeping her sight locked on those three little dots until they formed into a full-fledged message. Again, SinB couldn’t believe that she reduced herself to a pining schoolgirl waiting for her crush to text her. But she supposed that that’s what love does to a person. 

 

“SinB-ah, u wanna go to the park after lunch? The one near our old high school 😊”

 

The young woman tilted her head to the side in puzzlement. She didn’t know what to expect. But Yerin asking her to hang out at the park, thereby extending their time together was not it. Still, she didn’t mind the prospect. 

 

“Sure,” SinB typed, “but why tho?”

 

Yerin responded shortly, “Just because… Well I’ve been wanting to revisit it for a while.. and since we’ll be out, it would be nice to go there with a fellow alumni and one of my bestest buddies 😘”

 

SinB felt a slight jab in her chest at Yerin’s recurring use of “bestest buddy.” Could this be the older woman’s way of putting SinB in the friend zone? Or was it just her normal, cutesy way of addressing any of her close friends? Though she knew it was the latter, SinB couldn’t help but read into things more closely. So much so that it was starting to drive her crazy. Taking a seat on the edge of her bed, SinB stared at the kissy face emoji and immediately thought of Yerin striking a similar pose but with her own adorkable twist. Soon enough, SinB found herself smiling ear to ear. 

 

After that hit of dopamine, she returned her attention to the heaps of clothes strewn about in her room. It was then that she decided to not overthink. She was positive that her memories really happened. That Yerin did kiss her. That Yerin did confess her feelings to her. That Yerin was, and maybe even still is, in love with her. If she held these beliefs as facts, then she had nothing to be ashamed of. 

 

Boldly, she stood up, grabbed a couple of things from her closet, and started getting dressed. She was going to continue to play this charade with Yerin, but if and when the moment presented itself, SinB was staying true to her heart. Even if that meant putting her friendship with Yerin at stake. 

 

******

🎵 My life is waiting for you! (Yes, you!)

Her smiling at me in the mirror

Hakuna Matata 

My heart is beating for you! (Yes, you!)

No more fairytale 

The night goes tic tak tic tak

Ring my heart~ 🎵

 

SinB and Yerin belted out to GFriend’s “MAGO” as they made their way to their next destination after lunch. 

 

After some back and forth in their text convo, the two ultimately decided on some good ol’ BBQ. They decided to meet halfway at a newly opened restaurant called ‘Bulgogi My Heart’. The name sounded funny and quirky, and thankfully, the food ended up being really delicious. 

 

SinB had driven her car to the restaurant while Yerin took a cab. It had been a while since they both traveled together, just the two of them, and SinB had forgotten how much of a passenger princess Yerin is. Not that she minded Yerin taking control of the car’s bluetooth and acting as a pseudo DJ, but SinB wasn’t used to all the touching. Like, when Yerin grabbed her non-steering arm during fits of laughter as SinB recalled the time when their chemistry teacher showed up to class with a piece of spinach stuck between his front teeth. Or when Yerin noticed that a strand of SinB’s hair got in the way of her vision, the older woman lent a helping hand, tucking it behind her ear. Or whenever the conversation dwindled into silence, Yerin would randomly compliment SinB on her driving skills while mischievously poking her friend’s thigh. 

 

Before, SinB would have thought nothing of it, joking around that Yerin was bothering her or retaliating by pinching Yerin’s arm and naughty hands. But now, with romantic feelings coming into play, what was once deemed as a distraction that SinB could easily brush off with her usual dismissiveness had metamorphosed into an inconvenient state of mild arousal. Despite the creeping warmth in her cheeks, SinB kept her eyes focused on the road and both hands on the steering wheel, enjoying the nostalgic tunes and the rare one-on-one time with her close friend. 

 

The drive was at a manageable distance. It had been a while since either of them had listened to GFriend’s ‘Walpurgis Night’ album, so SinB encouraged Yerin to let it play onto the next track. They made it all the way to the fifth song, “Secret Diary” (aka Yerin’s personal favorite and SinB’s guilty pleasure song) before arriving at the place where they often hung out after school in their teen years, Navillera Park. Seeing the park for the first time in many years combined with the cheerful melody of the song made SinB feel wildly tenderhearted. 

 

Parking the car nearby, the duo exited the vehicle. Yerin stretched out her arms over her head, reaching towards the blue sky and taking in a deep breath of sunshine-filtered air. 

 

“Ahhh,” Yerin exhaled, “smells like freshly trimmed grass and everlasting youth.”

 

A brief laugh escaped SinB’s lips as she scanned her surroundings. Since it was the weekend, the park was a lot more occupied. Little kids had taken over the playground, climbing on the jungle gym and urging their parents to push harder so they could soar higher on the swings. A small group of teen girls had made a picnic for themselves on the bleachers next to the basketball court where several teen boys were concentrated in their game, dribbling and passing the ball in swift motions. An elderly couple got their steps in for the day by briskly strolling along the cement pathway. Being the homebody that she is, SinB had forgotten how much life there was outside of her apartment. 

 

“SinB-ah,” Yerin called for her friend’s attention, “you wanna check up on how those trees have been doing?”

 

“Trees?” SinB repeated, eyebrows knitted quizzically. 

 

“You know, the ones we planted for our Senior project,” Yerin clarified. 

 

“Oh, yeah!” SinB exclaimed, her memory jogged. “I almost forgot about them. Where are they again?”

 

“Here, let me show,” Yerin said, grabbing a hold of SinB’s hand. “I’ve been paying them a visit from time to time.”

 

SinB’s heart jolted a bit as memories from that morning came flooding back. As before, she felt Yerin’s thumb caressing the palm of her hand, and SinB couldn’t help but wonder if that was something Yerin always did to all of her friends and she was just starting to notice it. Or, if that gesture was something Yerin exclusively did to SinB. The younger woman silently scoffed at herself for already being so possessive of Yerin. In need of an ego deflation, SinB shook her head and refocused on making sure to not bump into passersby as Yerin continued to lead the way. 

 

Straying not too far from the park, the duo reached a more quiet and secluded area. Compared to the high-activity of the park’s epicenter, this part was mellow and serene. Trees of various heights provided shade. Beautiful flowers bursted with color amongst the greenery. Benches and tables dotted the environment for people to share lunches or be at peace with oneself. 

 

SinB felt Yerin tug on her sleeve as they came to a halt. She stood in her spot while Yerin marched a few steps ahead of her. The older girl faced SinB and, with the outspread flourish of her arms, directed her friend’s attention to the six trees that were equidistant apart. 

 

“Ta-da!” Yerin presented, curved eyes reflecting the pure exuberance on her face. 

 

It took SinB a moment to register that these trees that she, Yerin, Sowon, Eunha, Yuju, and Umji had planted when they were just saplings have already grown one to two meters past her own height. 

 

“Oh my God.” Overwhelmed, SinB’s voice was reduced to a whisper. “I can’t believe how big they’ve gotten.” 

 

Yerin giggled at the mystified look on her friend’s face. “Well, it has been about eight years since we graduated high school.”

 

SinB walked backwards to get a fuller view. Once the back of her legs reached a nearby table, she plopped herself on its seat, her mind racing with the looming thoughts of existentialism. 

 

“They certainly did a lot of growing within that time,” SinB said. “Have the other girls been visiting?”

 

Yerin took a seat next to SinB. She tilted her head, tapping her temple as if to activate her memory bank. “It’s been a while. Yuju and Umji accompanied me earlier this year. I think the last time Sowon and Eunha joined me was last year.”

 

“How often do you come here, Yerin-ah?” SinB asked.

 

“I guess every other month. It all depends on my schedule and how much free time I have to make the trip here.”

 

“How come you never invited me?” SinB lightly posed the question with a playful elbow nudge to Yerin’s arm. Though, she kind of already knew the answer. 

 

“I just figured you were too busy. With your job, with life, with… him,” Yerin cautiously worded. “He who shall not be named.”

 

“Oh, please. Voldermort is a better man than my ex will ever be,” SinB quipped.

 

Laughter spilled out of Yerin’s mouth, half-amused and half-relieved that SinB had gotten to the point in her break-up where she was able to crack jokes about her ex. 

 

“I’m really glad to finally swing by here,” SinB divulged, staring up at the gaps of sunlight that shone through the tree’s cluster of leaves. “Remember how we chose to plant trees because we knew it would get us a higher grade? And now they’re big enough to actually serve their purpose. To other people, they’re just your typical trees in the park. But for us, they’re more than that. They’re what helped us pass the class with flying colors. They were a labor of love as we spent that afternoon digging holes with our dads’ shovels, replanting the saplings, and putting in new soil.”

 

“We watched one tutorial on Youtube and thought the job would be done in two hours tops,” Yerin recalled. “But the sun had almost fully setted by the time we finished planting the last tree.”

 

“We did take a lot of breaks,” SinB admitted. 

 

“That’s because Yuju and I were the ones mainly digging,” Yerin countered.

 

“Hey, didn’t I create a cheer to give the two of you strength and lift your spirits up?” SinB retorted.

 

Yerin’s face turned expressionless as she waved her fist in the air unenthusiastically. “EhEhEhEh~ You’re doing well, doing well, dig dig dig. EhEhEhEh~.” Her demeanor reverted back to her normal self. “Yeah, super encouraging cheer. It would’ve given me the strength to dig to the other side of the world.”

 

“I bet it would,” SinB said with a cheeky grin. “These trees contain memories that no one else but the six of us will be able to share.”

 

“And in turn, they also act as an indicator for the passage of time,” Yerin commented, picking up a stray leaf off the table and twirling it by the stem with her thumb and index finger. 

 

As the two allowed their conversation to settle into comfortable silence, enraptured in the background sounds of leaves fluttering from the occasional breeze and kids’ rambunctious squeals of joy on the playground, SinB thought about how time can make all the difference. If she were to be completely honest, SinB’s feelings for Yerin when they were in high school were purely platonic. Yerin was the goofy, reliable Unnie who’s pretty as a porcelain doll. But SinB couldn’t say that she was necessarily attracted to her during those days. 

 

There was one instance, though, when SinB noticed the older girl in a different light. It was on that tree planting afternoon. After they had completed three trees, the six friends decided to have a lunch break. Sowon, Eunha, and Umji volunteered to buy food while Yerin and Yuju put their shovels aside to rest and SinB bought drinks from the vending machine nearby. 

 

Rolling a cooler full of water bottles and soda back to their area, SinB crossed paths with Yuju who was heading for the restroom. As she approached the digging site, SinB saw Yerin remove her jacket before pushing up the sleeves of her white t-shirt all the way to her shoulders. Why Yerin decided to wear white on a day where they were bound to get dirty still boggles SinB’s mind. But in that moment, with the sun shining on Yerin, illuminating her naturally pale complexion and accentuating the glitter-like perspiration that shimmered off her surprisingly toned arms (which makes sense considering that Yerin was often scolded by their P.E. teacher for giving multiple girls piggyback rides, SinB included), SinB was overcome by a new, strange sensation she felt toward her friend. A sensation that made her question the validity of the “purely platonic” image she had for the older girl. 

 

Before she found herself drooling, SinB snapped out of her daze, quick to brush the feeling aside. She proceeded to act like her typical self, tossing Yerin a water bottle and relaying a half-hearted snarky comment that earned her a chuckle from the older girl. For the rest of that day, though, SinB subconsciously kept some distance between her and Yerin up until the planting process was completed and they were somehow positioned next to each other when it came time to pose for the celebratory group picture. 

 

At the recollection of the group photo, SinB remembered that they used her digital camera, the same one that she carried with her everywhere. Unfortunately, she knew that photo was on a different memory card. Still, she took the camera out of her bag and showed it to Yerin so they could both feel that rush of nostalgia. 

 

“Let’s take some photos with the trees to commemorate their growth,” SinB said excitedly.

 

“You know,” Yerin spoke as they stood up from their seats, “I still have the picture with all six of us together. I even put it in a frame.”

 

“Really?” SinB shot a surprised look at Yerin who smiled proudly. “I know you can be sentimental, but I figured you would just have it shoved away in a box like I do.”

 

“It’s one of my favorite pictures from high school,” Yerin said as they meandered closer to the trees. “Plus, it’s taken by you, Hwang Eunbi aka our best photographer.”

 

“All I did was set up the tripod, set the timer, and run into frame without knocking into you and ruining the shot,” SinB humbly stated. 

 

“I don’t know, SinB-ah,” Yerin disagreed as she took her place to pose first. “I think you should give yourself more credit. The composition, the lighting, the way you directed us to ensure that everyone was in the foreground.” 

 

“You’re right. I am the best photographer in our group,” SinB accepted the compliment. “I should scope out the picture the next time I’m at your place.”

 

“I’m gonna have to take you into my bedroom, then,” said Yerin.

 

“What, why?” SinB stuttered, taken aback by the slight suggestiveness in Yerin’s tone.

 

“Because that’s where the picture is displayed,” Yerin simply replied, smiling innocently. 

 

“Right, of course.” SinB fiddled with her camera, looking into the viewfinder in hopes that it would hide the redness sneaking its way to her cheeks. “Move a little to the left,” she instructed Yerin, refocusing on the task at hand.

 

The older woman complied while quickly smoothing the flyaway strands of her hair and straightening out her clothes. SinB continued to adjust the settings of her camera. Since the trees were so much taller than before, she had to play around with the aspect ratio, moving herself back and forth, closer and further away from where Yerin stood. When she was finally able to get all of the trees in frame, the young photographer set her sights on Yerin. 

 

One of the things that SinB always admired about Yerin was her feminine charms. How effortlessly poised and pretty she looked when posing for pictures. And that was when they were still in high school. Now, with the both of them several years into adulthood, SinB could firmly say that maturity only made Yerin’s beauty more apparent. 

 

“How do I look?” Yerin asked, as she prepared herself for their impromptu pictorial. 

 

Lowering her camera, SinB wanted to look at Yerin with her own two eyes. The longer she stared, the more she felt as if she was falling into a trance. Her surroundings melted around her like water color until all that remained was her and the older woman that stood a couple of feet away from her. 

 

“Perfect,” breathed out SinB. 

 

Yerin, though, responded with a turn of her head, pointing to her ear to indicate that she didn’t catch what SinB said, perhaps due to the sudden rush of wind that was rustling the trees’ leaves from above. 

 

“Pretty!” SinB recovered, coming back to her senses. “You look very pretty. As expected from ‘Doll-rin’”.

 

Hearing that old nickname of hers induced a wide, beaming smile on Yerin’s face. SinB sprung into action with her camera, eager to capture her friend at her most organic state. 

 

“Doll-rin, neomu neomu yeppeo,” SinB teased in excessive aegyo, causing Yerin to burst out in laughter. “Pose pretty for the picture!”

 

“Yah, Hwang Eunbi, stop it! My makeup is going to smudge,” Yerin scolded between giggles, wiping the corners of her eyes to prevent her mascara from bleeding.

 

“Fine, fine, fine. I’ll be serious this time,” SinB assured.

 

Calming down from her laughing spree, Yerin repositioned herself to the spot where SinB told her to stand and began to strike several simple, yet appealing poses.

 

Before she could get distracted again, SinB reverted to full on professional mode, limiting her speech to brisk directions and single-word praises. Dozens of immaculate shots of Yerin being her delightful self later, the pair switched their roles with SinB as the model and Yerin as the photographer. While SinB had kept some distance between them, Yerin’s approach was a bit more hands on. She wasn’t hesitant to lean in and comb SinB’s hair with her fingers, to brush away the lone eyelash off her cheek, or to adjust the collar of SinB’s blouse, patting her clavicle when she was pleased with her friend’s appearance. 

 

Camera in hand, Yerin traipsed to approximately the area where SinB stood previously and proceeded to snap picture after picture.

 

“Yah, Jung Yerin, you’re going to use up all of my memory if you keep taking pictures so frequently,” SinB warned. 

 

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, SinB-ah,” Yerin replied coolly. “You can always delete the ones you don’t like. And besides, it’s not everyday where I get to use your special digital camera.”

 

Gracefully, Yerin lunged her body backwards so she was closer to the ground. She held the camera to her face and began taking pictures of SinB in this new angle. Biting back a smile over how ridiculous Yerin looked, SinB relaxed her demeanor and tried to appear nonchalant, yet chic. Several snaps later, Yerin checked the camera’s photo gallery to see the last few shots. A huge grin spread across her face. With ease, she stood up from her lunge and ran excitedly toward SinB like a duckling. The confusion in the younger woman’s eyes was replaced with amusement once Yerin showed her the picture displayed on the LCD panel screen. Of course, it was of SinB standing amongst the trees, but her body proportions were skewed as her elongated legs took up the majority of the screen. 

 

“Remember how you always said that you wanted longer legs like a supermodel?” Yerin spoke. “Consider your wish granted.” 

 

“Great, now I can finally stop eating bamboo shoots in hopes to grow taller,” SinB jested back. “Although I look like a giant, these shots are actually quite nice.”

 

“You’re the prettiest giant I’ve ever seen,” Yerin smooth-talked. “...Other than Sowon.” The two shared a laugh.

 

“We should take a selfie together and post it on the group chat,” SinB suggested. “Give them an update on how the trees are doing. And rub it in their faces over how much of a good time we’re having today.”

 

Since her phone was still in her bag on the table, SinB was about to leave to get it when Yerin gently pulled her back. “Here, we could use my phone,” Yerin said, retrieving her phone out of her back pocket. 

 

With Yerin as the designated picture-taker, she held up her phone, orientating it horizontally, and huddled closer next to SinB. The two shuffled to and fro, arduously trying to cram the trees and themselves into frame. Once they were able to find an arrangement they were both satisfied with, Yerin put her other arm around SinB’s waist, hugging her friend so that she could both keep herself stable while pressing the shutter button and allowing more of the trees to be seen. 

 

All day, SinB’s body, particularly her heart, has been reacting to Yerin’s touch in ways that signal her growing crush on the older woman. But for some reason, in that moment where she’s in her friend’s warm, comforting embrace, SinB didn’t feel her chest pounding, her palms sweating, or her cheeks blushing madly. That’s when she realized that though her romantic feelings for Yerin are true, there’s still a part of her heart clinging onto the perception of Yerin, her friend. But that shouldn’t necessarily be taken as a bad thing. Because Yerin, the friend, has proven to be kinder, more compassionate, more loving than her ex ever was when they were together. 

 

She’s reminded of how Yerin makes her feel safe, secure, that she can easily express herself around her, that she doesn’t have to put up a front and try to constantly impress her. Yerin accepts SinB for who she is, and SinB accepts Yerin for who she is. SinB doesn’t want to get too ahead of herself, but she feels confident that if they ever do become a couple and their relationship doesn’t end up working out, they can still rely on their friendship remaining intact. 

 

“You ready, SinB-ah?” Yerin asked, her breath tickling SinB’s nose. 

 

SinB blinked back to reality a few times and was met with Yerin’s patient eyes and toothy smile which kickstarted a full on gallop in her chest. Yup, her feelings definitely surpassed friendship. 

 

Nodding her head, SinB returned the hug, encircling an arm over Yerin’s back so they could appear more natural. She briskly secured her digital camera in the pocket of her jacket, freeing up her hand for the eventual peace and heart signs she was bound to make. Looking up at the phone screen, she decided to match Yerin’s wink pose. 

 

Yerin began to count off, “One, two, tree!”

 

SinB couldn’t resist the urge to pinch Yerin’s side, mid-picture taking, for that bad tree pun. Yerin, though, did not flinch or budge one bit, much to SinB’s halfhearted annoyance. As the two continued snapping photos, SinB was becoming hyper-aware of the constant increase and decrease of pressure from Yerin’s grip on her waist. It was like a tender massage, but at the same time, it was driving SinB up the wall. She tried looking at Yerin through her peripheral, hoping to catch any signs of mischievous intent on her face. The older woman, however, did not lend any indication, appearing unsuspicious as can be. SinB did her best to act unbothered, but behind her composed smile were the titillating thoughts of Yerin’s hands roaming along the length of her body. 

 

After a dozen or so pictures, the two retired back to their table. Seated together on the same bench, SinB and Yerin viewed the photos, picking out the ones they favored the most. 

 

“These came out really good,” SinB commented. “I especially like how the sunlight is hitting the trees, creating a warm halo effect around us.”

 

“You look like an angel, SinB-ah,” Yerin praised. 

 

“Don’t you mean we look like angels?” SinB corrected, a bit confused as to why Yerin singled her out when the both of them appeared visually stunning. 

 

“I guess, I meant to say that your beauty is radiating more than mine,” Yerin clarified, a shy smile working its way onto her lips. 

 

SinB was at a loss for words over how sincere Yerin sounded. On top of that, it was a rare sight to see the older girl so bashful. As much as she wanted to bask in this moment a bit longer, SinB knew she had to say something to counteract the silence that was quickly traversing into awkward territory. 

 

“Thanks!” SinB squeaked out, the tips of her ears reddening in embarrassment over the unusual high-pitched cadence of her voice. Swallowing the lump in , SinB turned her attention to Yerin’s phone and began selecting several images. “Here, I think these four pictures will do. Don’t wanna devastate them with our beauty.”

 

Yerin giggled as she went ahead and posted the photos on the group chat. She paused for a second, taking some time to think of a caption. Smiling to herself, she briskly typed out a message, pressing the send button before showing what she wrote to SinB.

 

“‘SinB and I went to visit the tree babies. They’ve grown so tall… Aigoo~,’” SinB read aloud, quirking an amused eyebrow over how that was completely something Yerin would add as a caption. It didn’t take long before their friends responded. 

 

Sowon: “The tree on the left is definitely Eunha’s. Look how short it is compared to the other ones kekeke.”

 

Eunha: “The one on the right is clearly Sowon’s. It’s way too skinny. Must not be getting enough sunlight 😖”

 

Yuju: “I think all of our trees are special in their own way.”

 

Umji: “Guys, what are you even talking about?? They’re just trees.. Btw, Yerin-unnie, SinB-unnie, you two look so pretty~”

 

“I’m glad Umji at least mentioned us,” SinB scowled. “I was going to throw a fit.” 

 

“Look, Sowon, Eunha, and Yuju are complimenting us now,” Yerin pointed to the new string of messages popping up on the text thread. “And… they’re talking about the trees again.” Shaking her head in defeat, Yerin exited the app and turned her phone screen off, laying it on the table idly. 

 

SinB figured that their friends would react this way. If given the opportunity, they would rather tease one another than feed into the other person’s ego. That’s how they always operated, she supposed. Equal parts genuine affection and equal parts sarcastic ridicule. 

 

*ring ring* *ring ring*

 

Simultaneously, SinB and Yerin’s attention perked at the sound of a bicycle bell. They both turned their heads towards the direction of the ringing and caught sight of a man rolling his cart where he sold fruit smoothies and assorted snacks. 

 

“Do you want a smoothie, SinB-ah?” Yerin asked, already standing up from her seat, probably due to the line that was starting to form. “I’ll treat you.” 

 

“Sure,” SinB replied. “Do you want me to go with you?”

 

“It’s fine. You should stay here and guard the table. More people are beginning to gravitate to this area,” Yerin reasoned. “What can I get you?”

 

“Maybe a watermelon smoothie with jel—”

 

“—jelly lychee cubes instead of boba,” Yerin stole the words out of SinB’s mouth. The younger woman’s eyes widened in surprise. “It's been your go-to order since high school,” Yerin acknowledged with a shrug. Looking over her shoulder, she noticed that the line had gotten significantly longer. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t miss me too much,” she said with a playful wink before grabbing her wallet and power walking to the vendor. 

 

SinB scoffed in response only for her face muscles to betray her as she let out a laugh. She watched Yerin waddling her way to the back of the line. The older woman was perhaps seventh in line if SinB only counted the adults and not the accompanying children who wavered in and out of the queue.

 

All by her lonesome, SinB took her phone out of her bag to check on the group chat as she waited for Yerin’s return. The conversation had drifted away from the selfies to something entirely off topic. SinB wasn’t in the mood to backtrack and try to add her own opinion. Instead, she scrolled up to those four pictures and stared at each one longingly. 

 

“Don’t you think Yerin and I would look good together as a couple?” SinB wanted to type and send but held herself back, knowing how completely random that would sound. Not to mention, she would practically be exposing her feelings for a close, mutual friend. Then again, there was also the possibility that they would interpret it as a joke. SinB cringed at the potential replies her longtime pals could with. 

 

OMG.. you two totally do look like a couple!

 

I can hear wedding bells in your future kekeke

 

Our bridesmaid dresses better not be black!!

 

Before she could die of embarrassment (even in this imaginary scenario), SinB tucked her phone away back in her bag. She surveyed the line a second time and saw that there were three more customers to go before Yerin’s turn. With a huff, she stuffed her mildly cold hands in the pockets of her jacket only for her right hand to bump into her digital camera. Grabbing a hold of it, she turned the camera on and was presented with the photo that Yerin had taken of SinB and her comically long legs. She began pressing the left arrow button, skipping through the many pictures of herself before halting when she reached Yerin’s pictorial. SinB swooned over the myriad of poses and facial expressions the older woman managed to conjure up. Some were bubbly and undeniably cute as Yerin displayed her notorious eye smile and dimpled cheeks. While others were relaxed and demure. But each photo made SinB fall deeper and deeper for Yerin.

 

Pressing the button once more to view the previous picture, SinB’s face froze and her heart thundered upon seeing, not Yerin, but of her and her ex. It was taken perhaps three months ago. Judging from the office attire they were still sporting and party hats on their heads, it was when they had just gotten off from work and went to a nearby restaurant for their co-worker’s birthday celebration. He had an arm over SinB’s shoulders. One could only see the side of his face because his head was turned to place a kiss on SinB’s cheek. SinB, clueless to the surprise kiss until after it happened, wore a cordial smile. Though, she remembered smacking him on the arm once she registered what he did and that the camera most definitely captured the kiss. 

 

Rocky is how SinB would describe their relationship at that point. They surely had their highs and lows. That particular night was one of their more harmonious peaks, but SinB mainly attributes that to the lively atmosphere of the party and the fact that she most likely had several drinks in her system by the time the photo was taken.

 

SinB must admit that there were plenty of times when she felt genuinely happy with him. That there was a chance he could be “the one”, as cheesy as it sounded. But as time passed, he revealed parts of himself that strayed from the charming young man she first met in university. Parts that she didn’t like, yet for some reason, kept putting up with until one day she couldn’t stand being with him anymore. 

 

For the past several weeks, SinB had been crying over her ex. But was she really crying over him, or was she mourning the loss of the companionship he provided? It’s a universal truth that no one wants to be absolutely alone in life. But SinB isn’t willingly to give her heart to someone who’s fickle with their love and affection. She’s tired of rocky roads. What she needs right now is to tread on smoother terrain, as smooth as the lips that graced her forehead along with both sides of her cheeks the night before. 

 

“Farewell, stupid face,” SinB murmured, hitting the delete button. The screen returned to the picture of Yerin.

 

“Alas, I come bearing gifts!”

 

SinB looked up upon Yerin’s arrival. The older woman was grinning as she carried their drinks, one in each hand, and hanging on her wrist was a plastic bag of what SinB presumed to be snacks. Yerin placed SinB’s watermelon smoothie in front of her friend before situating herself at the other side of the table. 

 

“Thanks,” SinB said, taking a quick sip of her drink which quenched her surprisingly dry mouth. “Whatcha got in the bag?”

 

“Provisions for the drive home, or we can eat them now if you’re hungry,” Yerin replied. “They had those spicy chips that you like, so I snagged them for you along with some gummy bears.” She pushed the plastic bag towards SinB. 

 

“It’s alright, I’m still a bit full,” SinB responded. “But thank you for buying them for me. You’re always so thoughtful.”

 

“No problem.” Yerin flashed a beaming smile before drinking her mango-flavored smoothie, exhaling a satisfied “ahh” when her thirst was appeased. 

 

SinB swirled her drink around with her straw, contemplating if she should bring up how pictures of her ex are still occupying the digital camera’s memory card. With a slight clearing of , SinB spoke. “So, while you were gone, I was browsing through the pictures we took with my camera and I stumbled upon a picture of my ex and I when we were still together. I deleted it, but I’m gonna have to do another photo purge later and remove all traces of him from not only this SD card but my other ones as well.”

 

“Looks like you have your work cut out for you,” Yerin said. “You’ll be fine… Right?”

 

SinB detected how Yerin said “You’ll be fine” with conviction, as if she was certain that the younger woman was emotionally stable enough to take on the task. But there must have been something in SinB’s demeanor that made Yerin second-guess herself, thus the need to tack on “Right?” at the end.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” SinB reassured, straightening her posture to give the illusion of self-confidence. 

 

Facial expression neutral as can be, Yerin propped her arms on the table, leaning with her elbows towards SinB’s personal space. The younger woman was too stunned to verbally question her friend’s sudden actions. Instead, she tried to focus anywhere but her friend’s tantalizing eyes. This proved to be rather challenging given their close proximity. Because the first focal point that SinB’s line of vision landed on was Yerin’s rose pink lips. Frantically, she darted her gaze downward but almost gasped when she realized that she was practically looking into the v-cut neckline of Yerin’s shirt. Before the crimson flush in her skin became too evident, SinB redirected her stare to the space between Yerin’s eyebrows to, at least, give the effect that she was maintaining eye contact. 

 

“You know, SinB-ah,” Yerin spoke in a hushed tone, looking tenderly into the younger woman’s deep brown orbs, “if things get too difficult and you need someone to provide you moral support, you can always depend on m—”

 

*buzzz buzzz* *buzzz buzzz*

 

Yerin’s phone, which was still on the table, began to vibrate loudly, signaling a phone call and thus interrupting the older woman from finishing her sentence. SinB stole a glance at the illuminated screen milliseconds before Yerin snatched it off the table’s metal surface. There was no picture provided, only a name that SinB didn’t recognize off the top of her head but was certainly female. 

 

The phone continued to quiver in Yerin’s hand, but instead of answering it, she stared fixated on the screen. A crease formed in the middle of her brows as if debating what to do next. 

 

“Do you want to answer it?” SinB asked with a hint of caution. 

 

The vibrating stopped, and Yerin’s phone screen returned to her usual lockscreen wallpaper of her core six friend group posing together with the addition of a “missed call” notification. A moment flew by when she received a text message from the caller. Yerin quickly read it before shutting off the screen and pocketing her phone in her sweater. 

 

For SinB, it was difficult to detect any strong emotion on Yerin’s face. The older woman was stoic, unmoveable. That’s why SinB couldn’t help but feel suspicious when Yerin’s expression warped into a smile that lacked her usual sincerity. 

 

“It’s unimportant. I can call back later,” Yerin simply replied. 

 

“Are you sure?” SinB pressed on, unconvinced. 

 

Yerin nodded, smiling wider although it failed to reach her eyes. “It’s nothing urgent.”

 

SinB watched pensively as Yerin sipped on her beverage, picking the cup up and swirling it around despite it not having any extra toppings. 

 

The name of the caller nagged SinB's brain. It had been a while since Yerin introduced her friends to a current, serious partner. While Yerin was the type to date around and engage in casual hookups, SinB doubted that her own friend would keep her from letting her know about a potential girlfriend. As much as it would break SinB’s heart to find out that Yerin was already taken, she would do her best to show her support for the older woman. Given Yerin’s relationship history, she certainly deserved to find happiness. SinB tends to joke that Yerin has a fear of commitment, hence Yerin’s long list of short-term relationships that the younger woman called her out on last night when she was drunk. In SinB’s opinion, Yerin gives her love to others too easily. The women Yerin gets involved with, though, typically end up taking her love for granted. The baking instructor, the yoga instructor, the flying yoga instructor, and others before seemed to enjoy the intimate aspects of the relationship, calling or texting Yerin every so often to spend the night at their place but breaking things off when feelings became too profound. SinB never understood why Yerin subjected herself to such treatment over and over again throughout the years. But then, she thought about her own relationship with her ex. The way he abused her love countless times and she continued to stay with him. Perhaps, she was on the same boat as Yerin. They were both used to being used. 

 

SinB reminded herself of the goal for this hangout. She needed to hear the truth from Yerin with her own two sober ears. Whatever happens afterward, SinB just has to hold on to the belief that they’ll be ok, that they’ll remain on good terms. 

 

“I hope you’re not lying to me again,” SinB spoke solemnly, using every ounce of courage to keep her eyes trained on Yerin. The older woman placed her drink down, eyes enlarging over the possible implication. “Pretending it’s not the beauty influencer? Because if my memory serves me correctly, you’re my girl, right? You wouldn’t keep something hidden from me?”

 

Yerin blinked several times, momentarily speechless. “You remembered all that from last night?” she managed to respond.

 

The corner of SinB’s mouth jumped into a smirk. “If anything good came out from my past relationship is that I developed a higher alcohol tolerance level to deal with all the stress he gave me. But even so, I’m not sure if that’s worthy enough to be considered a positive outcome.”

 

“SinB-ah, what I said last night, I–” 

 

“That person from high school, the one you were too nervous to confess your feelings to… that was me, right?”

 

Yerin slowly nodded her head in confirmation. She looked down at the table, taking a couple of seconds to relax her nerves before reconnecting with SinB’s penetrative stare. “It was our last year of high school when I realized it. We were all going separate ways during that time, so I kept it hidden. We attended different universities, and I was hoping my feelings for you would just disappear. But summer break came, and we and the rest of the girls started to hang out more. The feelings flooded right back. Again, I was still too terrified to tell you or anyone. This pattern continued for several more years until I graduated university when I had finally made up my mind and was ready to confess to you at my graduation party. When you arrived though, you introduced us to your new friend who would later become your boyfriend. I really was happy for you. Devastated, but still happy. And I was willing to let go of my feelings for you. Or, so I thought.

 

“For a good year, everything seemed to be going fine. That was until the complaints came pouring in. How he forgot the dinner date with your parents and instead went drinking with his friends. How he kept ‘borrowing’ money from you, and how it took all the energy in you to get him to pay it back. How he would constantly compare you to other girls. How he kept breaking your heart and making you cry time and time again. And yet, you always took him back. It was frustrating… to see the person I loved be treated with so much disrespect. As much as I wanted to intervene, I knew that I had to let you decide things for yourself. After an insufferable two years, you finally broke up with him. And now, I’m unsure of what to do. I keep subjecting myself to these women who only want me for one thing and aren’t interested in taking our relationship anything beyond . I’m not a commitment-phobe. I just have my heart set on you, SinB-ah. But I’m worried about what might happen if we cross that threshold between friends and something more. I’m worried that you might not even return my feelings and I’m here making a fool of myself and scaring you off–” 

 

“You’re not scaring me, Yerin-ah,” SinB intervened before the older woman could ramble off her anxieties any longer. “In fact, I’m relieved to know you have the same worries that I do.” She reached for Yerin’s hand that was clutching onto the edge of the table, taking a hold of it as she looked into her distressed eyes. “Listen, I honestly don’t know how I would’ve responded if you had confessed to me in high school or even at your graduation party. But what I do know is that I really, really want to be with you right now, and I want to try to make things work between us.”

 

“Are you sure?” Yerin exhaled, moderately in disbelief over what she was hearing. 

 

Breathing out a laugh, SinB grabbed onto both of Yerin’s hands, the backs of them with her thumbs. “Believe it or not, Yerin-ah, but you are worthy of getting what you want in life. And I’m just lucky to be that person. Besides, even if things don’t work out, you’re still my girl. You’re still going to be the gorgeous, dorky, excessively affectionate Jung Yerin, right?”

 

“Just as long as you continue to be my girl. The beautiful, amazing, cute as a kitten, Hwang Eunbi.” Like a sunrise, Yerin’s face brightened as a warm, heartfelt smile steadily took shape. It started with the upward curvature of her lips. Then, it rose to the apples of her cheeks, placing a dimple on each side. And finally, it made a home in the crescents of her eyes. 

 

SinB’s heart began to beat in double time. “Kiss me, and you got yourself a deal.”

 

Smile never breaking, Yerin raised up slightly from her seat. She leaned her body forward, tilting her head and closing her eyes as she slowly decreased the gap between her and SinB’s faces. Meanwhile, the younger woman could feel her pulse racing, caught off guard by Yerin’s easy compliance. Her eyes drifted to a close as she awaited Yerin’s pillow-soft lips on her own. The moment never arrived, though. Because, at the last second, Yerin made a detour and instead pressed her lips upon SinB’s cheek. 

 

Opening her eyes, SinB stared back at Yerin in confusion. 

 

“You never told me exactly where to kiss you,” Yerin smugly pointed out, giving a playful tap on SinB’s nose. “But I’m saving our first kiss on the lips for our first official date.”