Naranasan mo na bang mag-mahal? Yung sa kanya umiikot ang mundo mo. Yung tipong walang lumipas na araw na hindi ka nangarap tungkol sa inyong dalawa. Bumukod at tumira sa iisang tahanan, bumuo ng sariling pamilya. Tumanda ng mag-kasama at iba pang pangarap ninyong abutin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Masarap sa pakiramdam, hindi ba?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yung alam mo na nandiyan lang siya... Ang pahinga mo.

 

 

 

Nakasuporta sa lahat at nagmamahal sayo.

 

 

 

Pero paano nga bang nasira lang ang lahat?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mina's POV

 

 

 

Nayeon calling...

 

 

 

Hindi ko na mabilang kung pang-ilang tawag na ni Nayeon 'to. Pero hindi ko magawang sagutin. Paano mo haharapin ang taong paulit ulit nakakasakit sayo?

 

 

 

Ang bigat sa dibdib. My eyes are betraying me. Hindi ko makontrol ang patuloy na pagtulo ng mga luha. Alam kong pinagtitinginan na ako ng mga tao... Alam ko rin kung gaano ako nakakaawang makita.

 

 

 

I've been sitting here, waiting. Nag-hihintay dumating siya. Pero tatlong oras na at wala pa ding Im Nayeon. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's our anniversary today, 7th year anniversary to be exact. Kaso, nakalimutan yata nya. 

 

 

 

 

Nag-pareserve ako sa paborito naming restaurant, bumili pa ako ng bagong dress at nag-leave sa work. Lahat ng ito, prepared a month ago. Pinaalala ko rin naman sa kaniya. 

 

 

 

 

Pero ganon yata talaga? Kapag hindi ka na importante, palagi ka nalang naisasantabi.

 

 

 

 

At ngayon, tawag sya ng tawag at may mangilan ring messages. Hindi ko alam saan ako kumuha ng lakas ng loob na tignan ito.

 

 

(a/n: bold & italics - Nayeon, italics - Mina)

 

Nayeon

Mina? Why are you not answering your phone?

 

 

Where are you? I went home earlier but you're not there.

 

 

I was about tot tell you I'll be leaving tonight. I have a business trip. It will last for three days, so I'll be out. Urgent lang kaya need ko din umalis tonight.

 

 

Babe? Sinabihan ko na sila Mo at Sana. So they can visit you havang wala ako.

 

 

Please answer my call?

 

 

I guess you're busy. I'll be leaving now, please respond later. Okay? 

 

 

 

 

 

Right, as expected nakalimutan nya nga. At ang mas masakit pa don, this is the first time she forgot our anniversary.

 

 

 

Never siyang pumalya, every year, siya ang may surprise. Siya ang unang bumabati. Kahit gaano siya ka-busy all throughout the year, she's making sure she has time for our anniversary. 

 

 

 

Pero this time, walang kahit na ano from her. Wala siya sa bahay the night before and even today. 

 

 

Ganon ba kahirap?

 

 

 

 

Panatilihin ang lahat?

 

 

 

 

 

​​​​​​Sana hindi mo nalang ako sinanay, para hindi ako nasasaktan ng ganito.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Napalagpas at inintindi ko lahat ng mga dates or planned vacation na na-cancel kasi nakalimutan nya o kaya naman pagod na sya kaya mas gugustuhin nya nalang mag-pahinga. Minsan, may bigla siyang meeting sa kung saan.

 

 

 

 

 

M: Sorry, just got off from a meeting. Just update me, okay? Btw, who are you with?

 

 

 

I lied. Great.

 

 

 

N: Oh, okay. I'm with Jeongyeon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yoo Jeongyeon

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, her bestfriend, her business partner, her ex.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The girl whose obviously still not over her. Pero anong laban ko sa taong nandyan na sa tabi nya, bago pa ako dumating? I'm not that close minded nor selfish para papiliin siya ng isa sa aming dalawa. Pero...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flashforward...

 

 

 

 

She left tonight, for the nth time since our anniversary. Since she came back after our anniversarg, halos araw-araw na kaming nag-aaway. Kahit mga kaliit-liitang bagay, pinag-aawayan namin. Bakit wala yung favorite cereal nya, bakit may nawawalang gamit/damit nya sa home office nya. Kapag late na sya and I haven't prepared her food. Kapag hindi ako nag-message at nag-update sa kanya. Kapag sinundo nya ako at may nakita syang office mate ko na sobrang close sa akin. What a joke. Funny even.

 

 

 

 

What's funny about it? 

 

 

 

 

 

We were never really the type of couple na constant nag-bibigay ng update sa isa't isa. She wants, no, demands for me to give her updates, when in the first place, siya mismo, hindi nya yun ginagawa.

 

 

 

 

 

One time, she even punched Jackson. She saw him carrying my bag. Is it him to blame if what I was carrying that time is too heavy? Nagmabuting tao lang naman sya at tinulungan ako, pero parang sya pa napasama.

 

 

 

 

 

That night, once we stepped inside our house, she faced me and started yelling at me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yun ang una. Kahit gaano kami nag-aaway noon, she never shouted at me. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can't explain the pain I'm feeling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It got worse when she accused me...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of cheating on her.

 

 

 

 

 

Since that day, mas lalo na siyang nawalan ng oras. I'm trying to understand her and be patient...

 

 

 

 

Kaso tao din naman ako, napapagod.

 

 

 

 

 

And those kept on repeating. Nakakapagod, nakakasawa. 

 

 

 

 

 

Nakakapagod lumaban mag-isa, sa relasyong parang ako nalang ang may gustong manatili.

 

 

 

 

She never bat an eye towards me, she never said I love you simula nung araw na yon.

 

 

 

 

 

Lately, I've been feeling alone in this relationship. Yung, may 'partner' ka, pero parang wala. Non-existent. I kept on showing my love, I do care for her, pero nag-bago nang lahat. 

 

 

 

 

 

Everything became about her work and Jeongyeon. Wala ng Mina.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Palaging 'Sorry, Mina, may lakad kami ni Jeong', 'Yoo needs me asap', 'I can't go home tonight, something came up sa site', 'May business trip kami, kasama ko si Jeong.'

 

 

 

'Jeong and I will go out tonight, don't wait for me.' 

 

 

'Let's cancel tonight, dad wants to see me and Jeong',

 

 

'Iinom kami ng Jeong and ibang clients, just go with Mo or Sana.'

 

 

 

 

 

This, this is no longer the relationship we had. This is no longer us. 

 

 

 

 

This is not the relationship I wanted...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not the relationship I've dreamt of.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flashback...

(a/n: bold & italics - Nayeon, italics - Mina)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kailan mo ba ako maisisingit sa oras mo, Nayeon?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm trying my best here. Can you at least give me some of your time? I'm not asking for more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not today, Mina. I busy. Hurry up so I can leave, I still have a meeting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When will you make time for me then? It's been months since we went out. It's also been months since we started being like this!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can we not do this today? Pwede ba? I've had enough. I'm tired, Mina. You're just adding to my stress. Let's just settle this later.

 

 

 

 

 

Silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And you think I'm not tired? Of work, of my life and this relationship? Everything is tiring, Nayeon. Kapag ako, wala kang time. Pero kapag si Jeongyeon, you have all the available time. Ano bang problema sakin? May nagawa ba kong mali?  Anong kulang ko? Tell me so I can do better! Hindi yung you're treating me this way! Like a trash, like a no one in your life!

 

 

 

For sake, all I'm asking- no, all I'm begging you is to give me even just a little bit of your time! I'm your fiancé but you're not treating me like one!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ano pa bang papel ko sa buhay mo, Nayeon?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you even still love me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tears started clouding my sight. By the time they fell was the exact time she turned her back and left me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe she no longer does?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End of flashback....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One month after that night...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nayeon calling...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was the first. She never went home after that night. She neither called nor left a message. I was left clueless kung ano na ba kami.

 

 

 

 

 

Hello?

 

 

Mina, I'm sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let's meet, Nay. Same restaurant, same time. I'll wait, I'll expect you to be there this time.

 

 

 

O-okay. Um, I guess, see you later?

 

 

 

 

Y-yeah, bye.

​​​​​​

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night....

 

(a/n: Play -https://open.spotify.com/track/2wZTwfWU6sd91TY8zXxzgH?si=ame5nhMoQvGwpQijItAE6A&utm_source=copy-link&dl_branch=1 )

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let's not beat around the bush, yeah?

 

 

 

 

Masisisi mo ba kung napapagod na?

 

 

 

 

Let's end this. I'm breaking up with you, Nayeon.

 

 

 

 

Kahit na mahal kita, hindi sapat na dahilan na manatili pa sa tabi mo.

 

 

 

 

Thank you. Thank you for everything.

 

 

 

 

Kaya ko namang ilaban ka pa, alam mo na iningatan kita.

 

 

 

 

 

Salamat sa ilang taong pagpaparamdam kung paano mahalin. Kung paano maging importante at maging mundo ng ibang tao.

 

 

 

 

Kaso lang may hinahanap ka pa, nag-kulang pa rin kahit lahat ay ginawa ko na.

 

 

 

 

 

Salamat din for all the heartbreaks, I guess?

 

 

 

 

 

Sarili muna ang uunahin ko.

 

 

 

 

 

Without those, I won't learn. 

 

 

 

 

 

Patawad kung kailangan ko na lumayo sa piling mo.

 

 

 

 

 

Please keep in mind that there was once a  Myoui Mina, who came to your life and loved you dearly, Nayeon.

 

 

 

 

 

Baka di lang talaga tayong dalawa at mas mabuting palayain na kita.

 

 

 

 

 

I saw how you stared into her eyes, Im. I know you still love her. 

 

 

 

 

 

Pasensya ka na kung napagod na sayo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I no longer want to be involved in this, Nay. I don't want to hinder you from getting your happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mahal kita pero uunahin ko nalang ngayon ang sarili ko.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And please, don't stop me from getting my happiness. I deserve that too.