There’s a high-pitched sound ringing in my ear every second. Bip. Bip. Bip. It doesn’t stop. I’m not sure how long it has been doing that. It’s annoying. I sigh. I want to move my right hand towards it, but something bothers me and I can’t move it as I wish. I try to open my eyes but they seem to be glued together. 

My other hand can move freely and I bring it to my face to rub my eyes. Now I can open them. As soon as I do, I have to close them again because everything is just too bright around me. What time is it?

“Hey, Taemin. Welcome back,” a voice is saying near me. Who’s Taemin? Not me. My name is… What’s my name again? I try to remember, it’s on the tip of my tongue, but it’s escaping me every time I think I’ll catch it. I feel my heartbeat quicken as I realize I don’t know who I am. The high-pitched sound quickens too.

I open my eyes again, slowly this time, to let myself get acclimated to the light in the room. It’s mainly white, with a small television on the far wall. I’m in a hospital bed. How did I end up here?

The woman gets up and leaves the room, but she looks at me again before closing the door. I don’t have time to remember who she is before she comes back with a man in a doctor’s coat.

“Hello there, young man. How are you feeling?” the man asks as he goes to the end of the bed and checks something on my file.

“A bit dizzy,” I say after a few seconds. I don’t know if it’s because of the white walls or the bright lights, but everything seems a bit foggy around me. “What am I doing here?” I finally ask. “Who are you?” I add, looking at the woman that went back to the chair beside the bed. She frowns and I can see she’s hurt by my question.

“First things first,” the doctor says while coming closer to me. He waves a pen in front of my eyes. “Follow it, please,” he says. I do as he asked, but it hurts my head. Then he lights the small flashlight that’s at the end of the pen and I have to close my eyes or my head is going to explode. He nods.

“Can you tell me your name?” he asks gently. I breathe in. Nothing comes to my mind. I guess Taemin is what feels best, even if I can’t really associate this name with me.

“Taemin?” I whisper.

“Did she tell you?” he asks and gestures to the woman on the chair. I nod. He sighs. She wasn’t supposed to tell me, I guess. “Do you know how old you are?”

I breathe in. I have no idea. Thinking logically, I don’t think I’m a child though. I know stuff that kids don’t know. I know about Shakespeare and marketing and how to repair a washing machine. I don’t know why I know those random things, but I do. So I guess I’m old enough to have some kind of education and a job. I even possibly have moved out of my parents’ house. My parents.

“Are you my mother?” I ask towards the woman. She doesn’t look familiar. But I guess that if I looked in the mirror, I wouldn’t look familiar either. What do I even look like?

“Do you remember?” the doctor asks. “Do you know her?”

“I don’t,” I say quietly and shake my head. “I don’t know anything.” The woman starts sobbing. “I’m sorry,” I say with regret.

“Do you know what year it is?” the doctor continues. I don’t understand the point of his questions. I just said I didn’t remember anything. I shake my head. “Can you tell me about an event, anything that happened some time in your life? Anything,” he asks and I think he’s a bit desperate.

I close my eyes. It helps me think. At first, everything is black, but then I remember the television on the wall. I remember watching TV when I was younger. I was eating corn flakes, it was morning but I didn’t have to get ready that day. I wanted to watch cartoons but my mom changed the channel and it looked like an action movie with explosions except my parents weren’t enjoying it.

“September 11,” I say quietly. Yeah, I remember that. “2001. I was way younger than I am now,” I add.

“Lots of amnesia patients seem to remember that,” the doctor says and he scribbles something on my file.

“Amnesia?” I repeat. I’m not dumb, but saying the word makes it real. It’s like the fog dissipates, but the memories remain missing.

“It’s not the first time you woke up, Taemin. Do you remember the past conversations we had?” I shake my head. “It’s not uncommon to experience short-term memory loss after a car accident,” he continues. I was in a car crash? “But you seem to suffer from retrograde amnesia. Your memories should come back at some point. If they don’t, we can try to help.”

“A car accident?” I have to ask. Can I even drive? Maybe that’s why I had an accident in the first place. “Am I… okay?” I move my fingers mechanically to try and feel if they hurt. They don’t. I do the same with my feet but they feel fine. I can also move my neck, but as I do I get a strong headache.

“You only had minor injuries. They’ve been treated. What we’re concerned about is your head,” the doctor explains. “Your memory loss,” he clarifies. “We’ll keep an eye on that.” I nod.

The door opens suddenly and slams against the wall. It feels like I banged my head on it. A young woman enters quickly and comes towards me. 

“Oh my God, Taemin, you’re awake! How are you feeling?” she asks as she grabs my hand. It’s the one that has the infusion and it hurts. “Did he ask for me?” the girl asks the other woman.

I try to get my hand free, but she takes my movement as an invitation and grabs it with her other hand too. At least she’s more gentle now. Her green eyes probe me, but I have nothing to give her but confusion. 

“Taemin, this is your girlfriend Olivia,” the woman—my mother—says.

This feels weird. She seems so comfortable with me, but she’s just a stranger to me. I don’t know her. Her closeness irks me. 

“I’m going to take care of you, Taemin. You’re not alone in this,” she says with a genuine smile. I nod. I still feel lonely.

“Taemin?” the doctor says to grab my attention. “You