Soobin knew he wasn’t allowed to feel that way but he just couldn’t help it. It’s not that he wasn’t allowed to, he knew he had no reason to feel like this.

Soobin has been going out with Yeonjun for 6 months now and everything was going well between them. Soobin could say that he loved Yeonjun at this point. There was no problem with that, he was planning on telling him soon anyway. But Yeonjun was very popular on campus and he’s the type to unconsciously flirt with everyone. You know how some people have no respect whatsoever, they don’t care that Yeonjun is in a relationship, they still try to seduce him. And you can’t be more oblivious than Yeonjun, that’s impossible, hence why Soobin shouldn’t feel jealous about Yeonjun and Beomgyu’s closeness at the moment, they’re only friends hugging, right? Of course. It’s not like Beomgyu’s got his hand on Yeonjun’s waist, pulling him a bit closer to him and leaning his head on his shoulder while Yeonjun’s all smiles.

“Soobin hyung? Is something wrong?” Hueningkai asked him, making sure that the others didn’t hear him.

“What?” Soobin asked, getting out of his thoughts.

“You look pretty annoyed right now? Is it because of Beomgyu?”

Soobin didn’t answer. He didn’t have to anyway, his friend knew the answer.

Hueningkai knew Soobin better than anyone. They grew up together and it’s through him that Soobin met Yeonjun. Kai’s boyfriend, Taehyun, helped them to get together, encouraging Soobin to confess because he knew that Yeonjun would never do it.

Soobin never thought he’d be the jealous type of boyfriend. He was possessive but he never got jealous when one of his partners got close to someone else. Maybe he loved Yeonjun more than he thought.

“You don’t have to worry, you know? Yeonjun likes you a lot.” Kai said, rubbing Soobin’s arm, comforting him.

“I know. Just can’t help it.” Soobin answered, forcing himself to smile.

Soobin was a very bad liar. He couldn’t hide his emotions, his face talked for him. He could say something but his face would say the contrary.

“Beomgyu, stop, I’m ticklish!” Yeonjun exclaimed, trying to escape Beomgyu’s hands.

Soobin had seen enough. He grabbed Yeonjun by the hand and dragged him away. He vaguely heard Yeonjun saying his name, walked past Taehyun who was finally out his vocal lesson (they had been waiting for him) and made his way straight to the closest secluded place: the toilets.

He opened the door, made sure no one was inside and locked the door behind him before looking straight at Yeonjun.

“Soobinie? Are you okay?” Yeonjun asked, worried and confused.

Yeonjun had never seen his boyfriend look both as sad and angry as he was at the moment. Has he done something wrong? Why was Soobin acting like this?

“Am I okay? Do you think that’s a valid question, Yeonjun-ah?” Soobin asked, clearly angry and frustrated.

“What? I don’t get it, Soobin-ah.”

“You let Beomgyu touch you and do whatever to you and still don’t get why I’m like this? Did you forget that I am your boyfriend?”

Soobin was getting angrier the more he talked and Yeonjun was afraid he didn’t know how to calm him down.

“I do know you’re my boyfriend! He’s just a friend, I don’t like him like I like you!” Yeonjun tried to explain but it seemed to only worsen the situation as Soobin’s eyes welled up in tears.

“Yeah, you like me. You just like me.” he said, his voice wavering. “I’m sorry. I have to go.” He added and ran out the door before Yeonjun could understand what had happened.

He stood in the bathroom, alone, confused and with a heavy heart. Was this the end of his and Soobin’s relationship?

 

 

The next day, Soobin didn’t come to class. Yeonjun was worried about him because he never replied to his texts or answered his calls. He had tried going to his room in the morning but Soobin didn’t open the door and Hueningkai told him to just let him calm down without telling him anything else.

Yeonjun was now eating alone in the cafeteria when Beomgyu sat beside him.

“Yeonjunie hyung!” he exclaimed, kissing him on the cheek.

“Oh, Beomgyu-yah. How are you?” Yeonjun asked, trying his best to smile.

“I’m fine but you don’t look okay. Wanna talk about it?”

“It’s about Soobin…” Yeonjun began. Beomgyu smiled softly, encouraging him to tell him more. “I don’t really know what happened to be honest but I think he was jealous? Because we’re so close? I really don’t get it.” he said, pouting.

“I see. Well, have you told him that he’s your boyfriend, that he’s the only one that matters for you?”

“Well, I tried but he was so angry, he barely listened to me.”

“Did you tell him you love him?” Beomgyu asked, as serious as ever.

“I…” Yeonjun trailed off. “I didn’t think I had to. I believe that actions speak louder than words and I show my love as much as I can through actions.”

“I know that but Soobin doesn’t. I know you’re scared of telling such important things but sometimes words are needed, Jun. And this is one of those times. If you don’t want to lose Soobin, you need to tell him you love him. I’m pretty sure he does too.” Beomgyu explained.

“What if he doesn’t and I scare him away?” Yeonjun asked, nibbling on his lower lip.

“Then he wasn’t worth it. I know it sounds rude but that’s the truth. But trust me, you don’t have to worry about it. Now finish your meal and go see him.”

Yeonjun nodded, finished his lunch in no time and ran to the dorms. When he arrived to Soobin’s room, he knocked on the door.

“Soobin-ah, open the door please. We need to talk about yesterday.” He waited for a few seconds but nothing happened.

“I know you’re right behind that door. Baby, please.” The use of Soobin’s favourite pet name was Yeonjun’s last hope. He waited some more and finally, he heard the door being unlocked and he entered.

Soobin was walking to the couch, his back facing him. Instead of sitting down, he just stood there, not wanting to look at Yeonjun. The latter felt his heart break at the sight but gathered all the courage he had in him and talked.

“Soobinie, I know you’re hurt but you really don’t have to worry about Beomgyu. He’s just a friend, there’s nothing between us, I swear. I only have eyes for you, baby, only you.” He said, going to put his hand on Soobin’s shoulder. He flinched but didn’t push his hand away.

“Do you know how hard this is for me, right now?” Soobin began, his voice hoarse like he’d been crying for hours. “I don’t want to be jealous but I can’t help it. That’s how much you matter for me, how much I care about you. You make me lose control and that’s not the first time. Do you remember, four months ago, when Joohyun sunbae asked you out for a coffee and you agreed, totally oblivious to the fact that he wanted to take you out on a date? I barely managed to control myself when you told me that. You were so excited about it, I know you really look up to him but I literally had to go tell him to back the off and that’s why you never went to drink that coffee with him. You just don’t seem to realise how popular you are, everyone wants you and they can’t accept that they can’t.” Soobin deeply sighed, finally turning to face Yeonjun. His eyes were red, just like his nose and he looked tired, dark circles evident. “I understand if you think I’m not enough, if you think you deserve someone better, someone older. You like to show affection and I do too but not publicly. You don’t care who sees us but I don’t and I get that it might be frustrating for you. So, if you don’t want to keep this relationship on, I get it. Just be quick to break up with me.” Soobin said, fresh tears spilling from his eyes.

Yeonjun looked at him for some moments, bewildered. He never knew Soobin felt like this. He wondered when he’d began to feel like this because he surely wasn’t when they began to date six months ago. He got even closer to his boyfriend and took him in his arms.

“My baby, I don’t want to break up with you. You’re all for me, you matter so much. I never knew you felt like this, I’m so sorry. I love you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier.” He whispered in his ear, releasing Soobin to look him in the eye. “I always believed actions spoke louder than words and I thought I was showing you how I much I love you. But I’ll make sure to tell you every day that I love you and only you. No one else matters, baby.” He said, sweetly kissing Soobin.

When they broke apart, Yeonjun dried Soobin’s tears, pleased with the little smile on his face.

“Never keep those type of thoughts to yourself again, okay? I want us to communicate and to stay together for a very very long time.” Yeonjun said, making Soobin giggle.

“I want that too, hyung. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I find it cute that you get jealous. And now I understand why Joohyun sunbae doesn’t greet me anymore when we see each other in the corridors.” Yeonjun replied, laughing. “But seriously though, the fact that you went to see him directly… that’s so hot. We love possessive boyfriends in this household.”

“Oh shut up. I just don’t like sharing what’s–” Soobin began before cutting himself off.

“I’m yours, Soobinie, you can say it.”

“I don’t want to treat you like a trophy as everyone else does.” Soobin said, pouting.

“Telling yourself and anyone who wants to hear it that I’m yours isn’t treating me like a trophy. We’re a couple. You’re mine and I’m yours.” Yeonjun explained.

“I’m yours and you’re mine.” Soobin said, kissing Yeonjun.

They kissed for some moments, happier than ever, pleased that everything was now okay between them. They broke apart and Yeonjun talked.

“Now, should we talk about Arin noona? I can get jealous too, you know?” Yeonjun asked, making Soobin laugh out loud.

“Get jealous all you want, hyungie, it won’t change the fact that she’s got a crush on Beomgyu.”

“What?!”