FLASHBACK


FIRSTDAY OF SCHOOL


IRENE'S 

After I finished packing, I assured my mom and she's full trust that I can handle myself na. 


After what happened to me and seul, anyone could literally say that it was indeed a traumatic experience, a tragedy.


I lost seul when that incident happened. It's difficult for me to adjust until now, nasanay ako sa kanya eh. I felt like I lost the whole puzzle of myself, she was the only one who can embrace me and can understand me, she's the only one who can tame my roaring heart.


I love seulgi with all of my heart, I know. I knew seulgi would always wait sa respond ko whenever she said na she loves me. And now I regret that I always respond with hugs and kisses lang. 


I was waiting for the right timing to say it sa kanya, I was preparing myself, I thought if kaya ko na magreply sa kanya, kaya ko na din ibigay ang sarili ko without her asking for it.


I was wrong. Every day I woke up, regretting the things I couldn't say to seulgi anymore. She's now gone. I'm alone again, and I miss her every day. 


I sat down at the edge of my bed and dust off the picture. It was our favourite picture, us sitting in our space, happily, as we are each day. 


"Seul, love.. I wish you were here again with me."  


I said as I hugged the frame


"I love you seul, I wish I could say that in front of you. I wish I could hug you, I wish could kiss you, I love you seulgi." 


All I can do now is wish, this is depressing but this is our reality. I can now only long for you. 


The frame slipped to my hand when yeri loudly knocked and reminded me to get ready for school already. I was shocked again. 


Seul gave this to me on our first anniversary, that is why ingat na ingat ako, it is like the only remembrance I got from her. I thought basag na yung frame, I immediately grabbed it and checked if there's a scratch. Luckily wala naman but there I found a piece of note.


"Hi future wifey, if you see this congrats may mata ka! hehe" 

I can imagine seul saying that playfully to me with her eyes smiling.

"You have me forever hyunnie!! you're not alone, okay? I love you my Hyun, forever and always. <3" 


There were wilted white petals inside the frame along with the note. It was white roses and daisies, you always loved white 'di ba? Ang sabi mo kasi it screams the purity of love. 


"Seul, did you really do this and hid it here?"


Little did I know, white symbolises remembrance. 


I held back my tears but then the wind blew through my window and I felt you are here with me, it is again the familiar comforting breeze.


"Seul, I won't let your sacrifices wasted, I'll be better, I promise. I love you my ddeulgi, forever and always."