Jessica looks at the mirror for the first time since the surgery. Her is gone. The chest that was adored? Looked up? Known for? She doesn’t even know. All she knows now the burden on her chest, literally and figuratively, is now gone.

 

She? Well not anymore apparently. Jessica decided that after the top surgery, surgery of removing his . Yes his. Jessica is no longer a woman. He is a man. He hates men. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be one. So now he is. A man. Or more like a trans man after his top surgery.

 

He rakes his hands along the scars. He hates scars. It’s ugly. But this one adorns his chest and he likes it. Like battle scars. Well it’s a battle. A battle between his gender dysphoria. And he won. Jessica smiles. More like grinning stupidly while placing his palms flat on his chest. He likes s. But not his s, he likes women’s s. And he’s not a woman.

 

Wait, is he Jessica anymore? He doesn’t even know. He thinks the name Jess is a gender neutral name but most people call her Sica. 

 

Sica, such a feminine name. He pouts. Well I’ll think about it later on I guess. But first, hair. 

 

He then rakes his hands through his long brown hair. He likes his hair. And the brown colour. But they need to go. He knows his hair stylists will probably have a heart attack if they ever saw him cutting his own hair, but they're not working with him anymore. He is no longer an idol. There is no need for any hair stylist, managers, or someone working for him anymore. So he decided he would cut his hair on his own. Whatever happened later on, he will just give Krystal a call.

 

——

 

The hair cutting lasts for hours. Because he’s very careful with it. It’s his new looks, he is now a man, so he needs to look good. And looking good is what he did. He decided to cut his hair short, leaving his front hair a little bit long to make it into comma bang. He always likes looking at men with that type of hair. 

 

People thought they were his type of man. More like they type of man he wants to be. He also dyed her hair black. He likes black hair. But when he was still a woman, he always used the brown colour for his hair. Being brunette makes him look more feminine, so he decided to use it for a long time, but not anymore. 

 

He moves closer to the mirror, fixing his comma bang. Then he runs his hand through his hair, copying what men usually do. He always thought they look stupid doing so but now, he’s doing it too. 

 

I look good. He grins. He then stared at his body. He has a slim body, but not that much muscles. He still has abs, he softly rubs his abs. I need to workout. He then went out of the bathroom. He never likes to workout, something about running makes her chest uneasy. He hates the burden on his chest, that’s why he never runs. Now that it is gone, he wants to run as far as he can. And he did

 

——

 

“AAAAAAAA” 

 

Jessica yelled as he ran, with Krystal trailing behind him.

 

“SLOW DOWN YOU STUPID MAN”

 

Krystal is trying hard to keep up with her brother. She always knows that Jessica likes running, it’s just his chest that forbids him from doing so. She doesn’t know that all the pent up from not able to run will make him run fast. And he is so fast.

 

“SOOJUNG I’M RUNNING!! I’M FINALLY RUNNING AND THERE IS NO STUPID ING S JIGGLING ON MY CHEST WOOHOO!” 

 

He yelled while closing his eyes with a huge smile, he then went faster. Glad that it’s still early in the morning, nobody is there to notice an ex idol slash designer lookalike, short man running and yelling like crazy.

 

Krystal can’t keep up anymore. She decided to stop and take a breather. Glad that there is a bench nearby. She took a few more breaths, and walked in circles for a few times before finally settling on the bench.

 

She still managed to see Jessica’s back before it completely disappeared out of her side. She’s happy that Jessica is finally running again. Being his only sister, Jessica can’t keep everything to himself, he revealed all of him to Krystal. So Krystal knows how much Jessica likes running.

 

She was also glad that the surgery didn’t have much of a bad effect on Jessica after two weeks. Jessica has anemia, and apparently, he suffered so much blood loss. The surgery was a success but apparently, his body cannot afford it at first. A week and 3 days passed, his body now working just fine. He already rested and lots of blood has been transferred into his body so he is now okay, and has so much energy stored apparently. So much so that he decided to go to Gangnam park to have a morning run. Something that the woman Jessica would never do. But this Jessica is not a woman, he’s a man, a man that wants to run carefree at 5 in the morning.

 

Krystal was tired, because she was so busy with her drama, but after she saw her now, big brother, with the same curly grin but now with short hair, when she woke up, asking her to accompany him to the park, Krystal agreed, without a second thought. She has never seen Jessica this happy, and it makes her happy too.

 

“AAAAA NO S FINALLY NO S”

 

Jessica ran past her at high speed. How he still has that much energy, Krystal doesn’t know. Well, eventhough he’s so stupid and embarrassing, Krystal didn’t mind. As long as he’s happy.

 

——

 

Tiffany made a plan with Yoona to go for a morning walk at the Gangnam park. And here there are. Well, she’s walking while Yoona is already ahead of her, because she decided to jog.

 

It’s still early, so Tiffany thought she should just walk to breathe in the fresh hair. There was nobody here. Only her and Yoona.

 

Or so she thought.

 

“AAAAAAAAA”

 

There is a short man, running in high speed, while closing his eyes, running behind her while screaming. Tiffany was surprised and because of the screaming she quickly moved out of the way or the man will definitely run into her. What kind of freak is running at full speed, with eyes closed and screaming??? 

 

Tiffany was baffled. She thought that man was crazy. That man is also insanely small. Like even smaller than her, but wow sure he can run. And scream. 

 

Wait, the scream is so high pitched and familiar?

 

What kind of man has a high pitch scream?

 

“YAH JESS STOP RUNNING ALREADY!”

 

That voice? Wait Jess?

 

Tiffany turned her back to find a familiar woman catching her breath.

 

“Krystal?”

 

Krystal jerked her head upwards, shocking to hear someone else voice beside her brother.

 

“Tiffany unnie?”

 

“Krystal, what are you doing here? And alone?”

 

“To have a morning run of course, and no, I’m not alone”

 

“Jessica is here right, I heard you called Jess, I didn’t see her though”

 

Krystal chuckles. She then walked to Tiffany

 

“Well you did see someone running, right?”

 

“Oh yeah, some short man, he was screaming and running with his eyes closed”

 

Tiffany frowned remembering how dangerous her encounter with the said man.

 

Krystal just let out a laugh.

 

“Wait, why are you laughing? Do you know him?”

 

“Hahahaha yeah, sorry about that. He’s just excited to run. Also he ate his medicine, the medicine gave him extra energy I guess”

 

“Well, Who’s that, your boyfriend?”

 

Krystal grins.

 

“Nah, that’s my brother”

 

Tiffany was puzzled, brother? Aren’t they the only sisters? Jessica’s boyfriend?

 

“Brother as if, Jessica’s boy—“

 

A loud scream coming from Yoona cuts Tiffany’s words off.

 

“JESSICA UNNIE STOP RUNNING”

 

“I’M NOT JESSICA UNNIE”

 

“NO YOU’RE JESSICA”

 

“NO I’M NOT”

 

Yoona was chasing the short man before, and Tiffany realised he looks like Jessica, but with really, really short messy wet hair. Yoona’s words finally registered inside her head.

 

“Wait what— why is Yoona calling him Jessica”

 

“Because, that is Jessica. Well except he’s not an unnie tho. He hates being called unnie. Yoona need to start calling him oppa though”

 

“Wait whaa—“

 

“GOT CHU!!!”

 

Yoona finally caught up to Jessica and she had him in a headlock. Because of her height difference, her hand immediately went to his hair.

 

“YAH STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR, I SPENT HOURS ON THAT”

 

Yoona released Jessica from her headlock to properly examine him. Jessica has lost a few weight, his cheeks are not as chubby as before, and his hair, very short, like a man's. And he’s frowning, and pouting. That is not very manlike at all. She then cupped Jessica’s cheeks.

 

“Jessica un—“

 

“It’s oppa. Jess oppa, or Sica oppa, or whatever, I mean like just call me oppa until I have a new name”

 

“Oppa!”

 

Krystal called him.

 

“Yeah like that, now please let go of my che—“

 

“Wait un— I mean , where are your chest”

 

Yoona looked down only to notice his flat chest. And Yoona, being Yoona, she immediately put her hands flat on Jessica’s chest, roughly, more like she slapped his chest with her palms. And he shrieks.

 

“YAH GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY CHEST I PAID THOUSANDS FOR THAT” 

 

He swatted Yoona’s hands and immediately ran to Krystal. With eyes b with tears.

 

“SOOJUNG SHE SLAPPED MY CHEST!! WHAT IF MY S BROKE?!” 

 

He practically launched himself in Krystal’s arms. His tears already spilled onto his cheeks.

 

“Noooo my s”

 

He whines. While Krystal just hugged him securely while laughing. He may be a man now, but he’s still her Jessica, her Jessica that is shorter than her and was made to be hugged by her properly. She then softly rubs his back.

 

“No Oppa your s won’t be broken by a mere slapped”

 

“What if it does?” Jessica sniffles 

 

“No it won’t” Krystal is still laughing slowly.

 

Tiffany who saw the exchange between Jessica and Krystal just smiles. Her Jessica didn’t change at all. Still a crybaby it seems. How much she doesn’t want to disturb the siblings hugging each other. She wants to talk with Jessica. So she slowly cleared to get Jessica’s attention. Jessica, who was still sniffing in Krystal’s embrace, jerked his head towards the sound. And he froze. Because the love of his life was there. 

 

Tiffany was still as pretty as Jessica remembered. Well not like he didn’t keep up tracks with her anyway. It's just that because of the surgery, he wasn't allowed to play on gadgets much, so it’s been a while since he has seen Tiffany's face. But it was only virtual. Now, seeing her face to face after years really made him feel like he’s falling in love all over again because good gracious. Tiffany is so damn pretty.

 

Tiffany recognised that looks on Jessica’s face. Apparently he didn’t change at all. And Tiffany was really glad. Afraid that after years of separation, Jessica finally moved on. But he didn’t. And Tiffany is really thankful for that. It may sounds selfish of her. But Tiffany still wanted Jessica to be in love with her, even though she herself rejected him. She still wants his love. And apparently, he still loves her. And now, she will reciprocate it back.

 

“Hi Jessi”

 

Tiffany greeted him with her usual eyesmiles. Jessica sure his heart just did a backflip because he really, really missed seeing the smile he really loves face to face. Not on a screen. Realising that he kept mum and staring at Tiffany like a dumb fool. He quickly went out of Krystal embrace and straightened his clothes. 

 

Krystal scoffed at that action and she almost wanted to laugh out loud when she saw Jessica sheepishly combing his hair with his hand and rubbing the back of his head while muttering.

 

“Oh oh! H— Hi Tiff- Tiffany”

 

In a low voice. Wanting to sound like a man.

 

“How— how long have you been here?”

 

He stuttered, feeling rather embarrassed because he was kinda being an idiot since earlier.

 

Seeing the tinge on his cheeks, Tiffany just giggled.

 

“Not that long”

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Yeah but I kinda saw you running with your eyes closed and screaming in high speed”

 

Jessica wanted to die. He can’t believe the love of his life saw his embarrassing acts. And ofcourse Tiffany also saw him crying to Krystal about his chest being broken.

 

Seeing that he turned bright red and kinda froze on the spot, Tiffany just giggled slowly and walked up to him.

 

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, here, let’s sit with me”

 

Just when she was about to take Jessica’s hand to lead him to the nearest bench, Jessica’s phone rang. 

 

The sounds of it made him flinch and quickly distanced himself from Tiffany so that he could answer it.

 

“Hello, Jessica Jung speaking”

 

“Ha yes I’m fine”

 

“Yes I’ve taken the medicine”

 

“Final checkup? Today? Right now???!”

 

“Oh okay sure Dr, I’ll go to the clinic right now”

 

He then hung up the phone and looked at Krystal.

 

“Hey, apparently Dr Jo wanted to check on me for the last time and she wants to meet me right now”

 

“Oh? Okay sure, let’s go then before it started to crowd by cars”

 

Krystal said and immediately bowed down to Tiffany and Yoona saying her goodbye.

 

Jessica then awkwardly cleared his throat.

 

“Uhm so, I guess I need to go….?”

 

“Oh, okay”

 

Disappointment was evident in Tiffany’s voice.

 

“So goodbye then”

 

“Ha yes goodb—“

 

Jessica’s words were cut off because he felt something soft on his left cheek.

 

“See you later”

 

Tiffany gently whispered in his ears. She can see the ears and cheeks slowly turning red as Jessica flinched and stumbled away from her while stuttering.

 

“Ha— ha ye— yes, se- see you later!”

 

He then ran. 

 

Tiffany just laughed at his behaviour and turned to look at Yoona looking all confused.

 

“Let’s go back Yoona”

 

“But I haven’t finish jogging yet”

 

“Let’s just go back”

 

——