Hyukjae was busy watching Donghae’s new vlog he uploaded hours ago, and it was simply a drive towards the grocery and buying his precious avocados. Hyukjae isn’t a fan of all the healthy stuff Donghae preferred to have, and he grimaced at the blender mixing the fruits and vegetables all together while he slurped his cooked ramyeon. Donghae’s smiling face appears on the screen and his eyes were crescent moons from laughing while he pretended that the sound of the blender was the sound of an engine. Hyukjae smiles at the happy image of his crush.

Making Healthy Smoothie Recipe! | Donghae’s HARU

Comments:

eunhyukee : you look so beautiful when you’re happy. i hope i can make you smile like your smoothies does to you.

                        User12383 : this comment is everything <3 we love you donghae oppa!

                         ELF Fan : wholesome comment from donghae’s number 1 fan @eunhyukee .... kekekeke this is rare!

Donghae Lee : Thank you so much for your love and support. I am very grateful to have you ^^ I will treat you with my smoothie when we meet!

Donghae Lee liked your comment. “you look so beautiful when you’re happy. i hope i can make you smile like your smoothies does to you.”

Hyukjae almost dropped his chopsticks when he saw this notification. He grinned widely and took a screenshot of this interaction. Opening his Instagram fan account @eunhyuk_dalnim. This account was a dump account where none of his friends are following him, and he uploads random photos of sceneries and moments he like.

            [Photo]

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: Thank you for replying and liking on my comment @leedonghae ! I hope you are always happy and motivated by the support from your fans. I’m always here to appreciate your content. Don’t get sick and gain strength always 😊

            [Photo]

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: My ramyeon tastes the best especially when I watch Donghae’s HARU 😉 Followed the right recipe from the pack. Too bad I don’t drink healthy smoothies.

He started clearing the table as soon as he finished his food. He placed his used dishes on the sink and went to find his strawberry milk drink from the refrigerator when his phone pinged as notification. He was sipping on his favorite beverage while humming to Beautiful Night by Yesung as he checked his lock screen for notification.

            @leedonghae liked your post.

            @leedonghae liked your post.

            @leedonghae commented on your post: The ramyeon looks delicious. Do you want to eat ramen with me someday?

Hyukjae was again choking with his drink because what the heck? What is Donghae doing in the comment section of his Instagram and commenting on his ramen instead of his lovely and caring post? 

He was freaking out for different reasons but the fact that Donghae asked to have ramen with him? Does Donghae even know who he is? For all he know he could be some random stalker creep. Does he know he’s a guy? Is Donghae flirting?!

His brain was racking itself to find the answer to his questions but what if he’s just joking? Should he even respond? Is it a date?!

The phone pinged once again and the notification was Donghae commenting on an old post from weeks ago. It was a photo of Hyukjae’s TV showing Donghae’s vlog of working out.

@eunhyuk_dalnim: My HD TV is working so well, it feels like people are gonna come out from it. (I hope so)

            @leedonghae : Wow! Your TV is big ^^ want to watch movie sometime?

Okay, this is really crazy right now. Does Donghae know it’s him? But come to think of it, Donghae was actually here in his apartment with his friends last time. Did he notice the similarities? But it was kind of dark back then because they were drinking and playing random movies on the TV.

Hyukjae forgot about his strawberry milk for a while, and he kept biting his lips because he’s all flustered and bewildered with everything happening. It doesn’t help that he sees his phone lighting up again and this time, Donghae sent him a direct message.

            @leedonghae: Hyukee? This is you right? 😊

            @leedonghae: I’m messaging this and I’m hoping this is you.

            @leedonghae: I’m really thankful for all the support and cheering messages you’ve given me all along my updates and videos. Really, thank you!

            @leedonghae: And if it’s really you Hyukjae, I would be so delighted to show my appreciation to you.

Upon opening the messages, Hyukjae’s heart is now beating really fast and he feels jittery about all these. First of all, he’s been found out. Pretending to not be Hyukjae might hurt Donghae and as the ultimate fan, he knows the man will be sad. He also knows that Donghae might think he’s lying and feel betrayed, and now that they’re actually friends, he does not want to hurt him.

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: You found me. Hahaha.

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: Yup, it’s Hyukjae here. I’m glad you appreciate my support, I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable now that you know I’m actually your fan.       

Closing his eyes, he locked his phone again. He was nervous for what Donghae would say. He was not ready to be busted of his identity yet, but as long as this secret doesn’t go out to their friends. He thinks he’s okay. He can deal with Donghae knowing rather than Kyuhyun or Ryeowook teasing him or Shindong imitating his admiration for him. Leeteuk talked so much the rest of the neighborhood would find out within days.

            @leedonghae: No I’m actually really glad to have met you eunhyukee. You’re like the most active fan I’ve had for months even when I was new to my channel. I loved reading your comments and reactions ^^

            Wait. My comments and reactions?

            Suddenly he is reminded of all the ty and highly ual comments he always does in some of Donghae’s YouTube videos. To say he is mortified is not yet enough. He wants to hide and pretend he hit his head got hit by a rock or ran over by the car so he would have an amnesia and not know who he is. After looking stupid, trying to look cool, Donghae eventually discovers he is such a for him. Oh God.

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: lol I’m not sure if you really appreciated everything I said… I kinda uhm commented rated stuff there I’m sorry if you got uncomfortable!!! ><

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: I’ll be a decent and behaved fan from now

Hyukjae was biting his nails while waiting for Donghae’s response. He feels really shy now that he’s directly messaging him and not like when he’s free enough and without shame online.

            @leedonghae: I actually laughed a lot whenever I see your comments. Don’t worry too much! I actually love seeing you on my notifications.

            @leedonghae: I enjoy it Hyukee. If only I could flirt back to you in reply I would do it but all the other subscribers would see it.

            @leedonghae: Can we have a meal together sometime? The two of us?

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: Are you asking me out?

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: lol I’m just joking but if you really want to have a mael with me I would love to.

            @leedonghae: How does a ramen restaurant sound?

            @leedonghae: Can I pick you up on Friday around 5pm? ^^

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: I’m fine with that Donghae.

            @leedonghae: Okay I’ll see you then!          

            @leedonghae: I’m really really thankful for your support always, and I want to be close with you too. Let’s be closer Hyukee~~

            @eunhyuk_dalnim: Of course, I’m always here to support you Donghae

When all of the fear and nervousness that Hyukjae felt subsided, now he feels giddy like a highschool student who got noticed by his crush. Which is exactly how he is pacing around his living room now and imagining hundreds of situations that this could go right or wrong.

It probably seems weird that Hyukjae knows so much about Donghae, with everything he has shown in his social media, but at the same time he knows that’s not all to it. The guy he met together with his friends was a shy, adorable, and kind guy and that makes everything a thousand times better than the person Hyukjae imagined he would meet.

The guy he thinks of as his role model, inspiration, favorite vlogger, and someone he likes wants to be his friend. Hyukjae thinks it’s crazy to be greedy and want to be more, but heck, even being friends with the handsome man wasn’t something he thought of when he first became an avid fan.

It probably seems stupid for a grown man like him to become a “fan boy” for some guy who is only months younger than him. But even if Donghae is no idol, celebrity, or TV personality, you can call him an “influencer” because he has been posting nothing but wholesome and good content online.

Hyukjae has always been smiling and amazed whenever he watches him bond with his friends and you can clearly see everyone have a soft side for him. When he plays basketball, you can see him with determination in his eyes and at the same time he looks at the camera with the boyish smile of his and tells his viewers to do sports to and keep themselves healthy.

Sometimes when he uploads videos of his driving, Hyukjae wishes he was right there at the passenger seat and be the one to chat with him on the road.

When Donghae his YouTube live back then and bought food for stray cats and dogs, Hyukjae felt his heart become warm and if he was there to witness that, being someone who has affection for pets because he previously owned a dog back then, he might have kissed Donghae right there and then.

He is not a fan of avocados or green leafy vegetables being blended all together because Hyukjae thinks it’s not tasty. He prefers his sweet strawberry milk or maybe a can of cola. Not healthy, he knows that. But he doesn’t stop watching videos of Donghae making his smoothies and when he sees him placing that yogurt, he can’t help but imagine how that would taste like when he it off Donghae’s golden skin.

Working out was something Hyukjae does occasionally but he doesn’t recall a time he has ogled at people around him. He pretty much kept to himself and didn’t bother with other people around him. However, watching Donghae’s videos of him working out and flexing his muscles awakens some feelings within Hyukjae and he knows it’s nowhere near decent. He did not keep count how many times have he imagined himself pouncing on Donghae in the locker rooms of a gym or against the mirrors with no one around. Thus, he never held back with the comments and became the anonymous wild and expressive fan that even Donghae’s subscribers know all about.

He also had those bad days and there was a time he was lonely and sad, devouring a whole container of ice cream on his own and wanting to drink beer to numb himself. Suddenly his phone notified him and upon seeing it was a new Donghae HARU upload, Hyukjae picked it up from the table. Another random food video I guess, he thought.

What surprised him as he opened the video was Donghae sitting on a chair and writing something on the table.

            “Hi everyone! This video would probably be boring for some of you, but I just wanted to film myself doing this and maybe it can make others feel better and smile today.

            I wanted to write a song but I went all sentimental with the rain pouring down right now, I thought it would be nice if I do some self-reflection first.

            Before I began to upload my vlogs and content, I my mind is always so scattered and restless. It took sometime before I actually picked up myself and said that I should live my life happily and if I can, spread that happiness that I gain from the people around me.

            That’s why I began my YouTube channel. It’s not to gain fame or money, I’m not really after that. I’m already satisfied with what I have in material possessions. But what I want to have always is to be genuinely content with who I am and what I can do.

            Knowing that there are people who might be inspired or grateful to see people sharing mundane and simple moments like this, I thought I can try to do it. Although I had to create a bond with my camera. I was very awkward at first! *laughs*

            I just want to let all of you know that I am very grateful that this community has been very supportive and encouraging to me. I may not know all of you personally but I treat everyone here as my friends, or even my siblings. Those who leave sweet messages always make me happy! I feel everyone’s love even virtually.

            So here! I have drawn a heart for you. It’s not really that pretty. But it’s my heart. Please receive my love. Here!

            It’s nothing much, really. But my heart feels so grateful to everyone single one of you. If there is anyone who is hurting you or saying bad things, don’t mind them. Instead, focus on those who love you. We must share our love to one another right?

            I love all of you. Very much! Thank you so much, I’ll never get tired of saying how much I love all of you and I wish I can return this love to all of you.

            I’ll be singing a song that I made way back then. I hope this cheers up some of you! I have been practicing my guitar skills for the past days. Here’s my self-composed song, Bout You!

            “’I can’t explain all these feelings

            I’m not just saying this

            I’m only thinking about you

            I want to know you, just all about you

            Don’t ask me why, my answer is just you

            From your head to your toes (wow wow wow wow)

            You’re so dazzling to me (sha la la la)

            You’re the air I breathe (air, air)

            Smile for me, that’s all I need”

            Thank you so much for listening to my thoughts and rambling. Remember that you are an important person and you are someone who deserves to be loved. Have a great day!”

The video ends as Donghae waves and shows a sweet smile. Hyukjae feels warmth spreading on his chest and he felt his cheeks hurting because he was smiling throughout the video.

It was that moment he was sure he wants to meet the guy and hug him until he’s breathless. He was whipped, and he wanted to support Donghae for a long time. For as long as he lets him. Be there for him.

Dark aura and gloomy mood gone, Hyukjae sleeps in peace knowing that a guy like Donghae is out there and he makes him happy. A lot.