Jeno POV

 

I had imagined university life to be so much more exciting. It was probably more exciting when you lived in a dorm and shared your room with a stranger and made friends for life. Or I'd just seen too many American teen series. Real life was different. Four weeks into my student life and I was just as lonely as before. At least here at the university. I had spoken to a few fellow students, but I had no immediate connection with any of them as I had felt with Jaemin. Which I really shouldn't compare, since Jaemin wasn't just a friend or acquaintance to me. It wouldn't be fair to downgrade him like that when I couldn't think of anything but him.

In the four weeks that we had known each other, we had met several times. We had our first date two days after our first meeting in the park. As agreed back then, we were in the cinema. The fact that we were both inexperienced in dating, everyone could see we were new in this. After going to the cinema, we went to eat burgers and talked about the film. In the evening I had lay in bed wondering what I could have done better, because in the end it had felt more like a normal hangout. As if I'd spent the evening with my cousin Donghyuck instead of the guy I had a crush on.

Miraculously, Jaemin hadn't let that put him off and he went on another date with me and on a third and fourth and fifth. We spent lunch at a cat café because he remembered that I told him I loved cats and would like to have one or two, but I wasn't sure if I would have the time. Another time we'd spent hours in a game room. Again, it was something that brought me a lot of joy and interest. Jaemin always did what I would like and in the end, it was me who felt bad because I had the most fun of us while he mostly just watched me with a smile on his pretty face.

So, I decided that our fourth date should be something he would like. Jaemin was even more introverted than I was, and I had quickly noticed that large crowds and much interaction with others was draining him. I had no idea what he was really interested in, since he had kept this side of himself closed until now. Sometimes I had the feeling that he himself didn't know what really interested him or what he liked. Therefore, my decision to invite him to see a movie at the Vancouver Planetarium was a risky one. After all, he could have found this date terribly boring. But this place was never overcrowded, there was no crowd, we had enough space, and it was wonderfully quiet. As we lay in our armchairs in the half-empty performance hall and gazed at the starry sky, I did something I had never done before, and I had never done a lot before: I took his hand in mine. I was a ing 18-year-old who was only holding hands for the first time. Up to this point, this simple gesture was the most exciting thing I had ever done, and my heart almost jumped out of my chest when Jaemin's fingers slipped between mine and he squeezed confirming that it was okay. I couldn't wipe my grin off my face for the rest of the day. And since then, I've only let go of his hand if I had to.

Our last date had been a request from Jaemin. He really wanted to see an exhibition by a famous photographer and who would I have been if I had refused his request? It wasn't something I’d like. I couldn't see the art in it, as Jaemin did, but to see him so excited, with that beam in his eyes and that happy smile on his face, it was worth it to me that he dragged me from photo to photo and joyfully babbled out what emotions he could see in the image. In the end, it was more fascinating for me to listen to my date than to look at the photos. For me, there was nothing prettier than Jaemin anyway.

That last date had its sweet end at Jaemin's doorstep when he kissed my cheek goodbye.

We didn't see each other every day, but we did send each other several messages during the day, talked to each other on the phone every evening and also met every now and then for a coffee or, in Jaemin's case, two or three coffees to talk about our day. It was so easy and straightforward with him. His easy-going, relaxed manner had a calming effect on me and so I lost all nervousness around him. In a very short time, in my opinion, we had built a solid friendship. However, I hoped that it would eventually become more. I wasn't in a rush. The pace at which we got closer was just right for me, so that I wasn't overwhelmed by the growing feelings towards him.

We had our sixth date planned for tomorrow and Jaemin wanted me to surprise him with something. Since he had organized the last date, it would be my turn again. I quickly noticed that he attached great importance to equality. For him it was all a given and taken and to prove to him that I was serious about him, I really racked my brain with what I could surprise him. Since it was still mid-February and it seemed even colder than January, outdoor activities weren't exactly ideal. So, I scoured the omniscient internet for date ideas as I walked across campus to the library. I had two hours off until my last lecture for the day, and since Jaemin was busy with physiotherapy, I had to kill that time on my own. My eyes were fixed on my cell phone screen as I crossed the huge, overcrowded courtyard and it was like a miracle that I made it over half accident free. But luck left me on the last few meters.

I ran into someone who shortly shouted a loud, panicked "Oh my gooood" and juggled four watermelons to keep them from falling to the ground. Unfortunately, without success. Two fell and literally smashed into a dozen pieces. Totally shocked, we both stared at the "victims" of our inattention before we looked up and starred at each other at the same time. In front of me was a guy with two watermelons in his arms and a dejected expression on his face. He wore a gray hooded hoodie, which he had pulled the hood over his head to hide his tousled black hair, and round glasses that made him look like an Asian Harry Potter. He was a bit shorter than me, and he carried an acoustic guitar on his back.

Irritated by the whole appearance, I frowned. "Yah, what are you doing?" I burst out instead of apologizing.

"I carry watermelons, Duh," he replies in a thick Canadian accent. So he wasn't a foreigner studying here. The first look could be so misleading.

"Yes, I see that. But why?” I asked confused and scratched the back of my head. "Who carries watermelons around the university so completely randomly in winter?"

“They're for the cafeteria. Or rather they were for the cafeteria,” he sighed gloomily.

“Do you work in the cafeteria? I've never seen you there.” I was sure that I would have noticed another Asian-looking person there.

"No, I'm studying here, and I just offered to help them unload their van."

"Music?" I asked curiously, not knowing that this was also being offered here as a course of study.

"No, philosophy," he replied dryly.

"What can you do with that?" I asked just as dryly.

"I have no idea and what are you studying?"

"Mathematics."

"And what can you do with that?" He gave me a backlash.

"I don't know," I shrugged, and we both started laughing.

"I'm Mark Lee by the way," he introduced himself. "I would give you my hand, but I don't want to lose the two babies here too."

"Jeno Lee," I also introduced myself.

"You sound Korean," muttered Mark, fiddling with the melons a little awkwardly. I took one from him, ready to help.

"I am though. Can you really hear that?” I asked.

“My mother still has the same accent, even though she has lived here for twenty years. My parents came here from Seoul before I was born. Therefore, I have two names. One Koranic and one English. But nobody calls me Minhyung. Not even my parents. Unless they're mad at me. My legal name is used there,” he laughed. “It's really creepy when they scream at me with Lee Minhyung and then yell in Korean. I understand so little then."

"I'm from Seoul," I beamed.

"Exchange semester?"

"No, I'm studying here permanently."

"Oh cool ... cool ... have you been here for a long time, and have you already been able to make friends?", Mark asked, really interested and as if by ourselves we both started moving towards the cafeteria.

"For six weeks and I think I've found something like a friend," I answered him carefully. After all, I didn't know how he felt about homouality.

“Did you just write to this person when we crashed into each other? You were so captivated."

"No, I was looking for ideas for a date because we want to meet again tomorrow," I answered, still quite mysterious.

"Ah, I see. It's thaaaaat kind of friendship. Is she pretty?"

I bit my lip and stared at the watermelon in my arm as I answered him quietly. "It's a he and yes, he's very pretty."

"Congratulations," he rooted for me with a grin. “It must feel good to be able to love freely here, doesn't it? I don't think it's so open in Korea, isn’t it?"

A relieved smile formed on my face. “We ... we are not ... he is not my boyfriend. So ... we're dating ... but it's nothing official. We're still getting to know each other. Nothing happens except holding hands so far."

Mark laughed out loud. "Well then, a date on Valentine's Day is the best way to go one step further."

"Valentine's Day?" I asked in shock.

“Yo Bro, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. How can you forget that?"

"," I muttered, suddenly feeling even more pressure to plan a perfect date.

Mark patted my shoulder encouragingly. “Don't worry bro, we'll drop these babies off here and I'll help you. After all, I'm a local and I know some great places."

“Okay, but please stop referring to watermelons as babies. That's strange,” I asked him.

"Jeno, you will still notice how strange I really can be." His grin was like a promise and a threat at the same time. Did that mean I had made another friend?

 

*

 

Jaemin POV

 

I looked a little impatiently at my watch and stepped from one leg to the other. Jeno was late and I was cold. I had been at our meeting point for five minutes and watched one couple after another in love stroll past me, which I found rather strange for a Wednesday afternoon, until I remembered that today was Valentine's Day. I felt a bit guilty because I hadn't thought about it and therefore couldn't get any little things for Jeno. So, I just made up my mind to buy him something at some point.

When he still wasn't there a few minutes later, I began to worry. It wasn't his way to be late. And I didn't have the slightest idea what he actually planned as a date. Last night on the phone he had only said that I would definitely like it. He hadn't checked that he could go with me wherever he wanted and that I would like it either way, because he was just with me. I don't think there is anything I wouldn't do with him. I was so whipped for him.

But how couldn’t I? Jeno was wonderful. He was thoughtful and caring. He treated me like I was special and the way he looked at or touched me was loving and gentle. The conversations we had were never boring. He was smart and humorous at the same time. His charm was to be funny without trying. I liked his voice so much that if he spent hours explaining math formulas to me, I would listen to him too. His whole aura had a calming effect on me, and I couldn't imagine an evening without his soothing, deep voice on the phone.

Jeno hadn't quite lost his shyness in the past few weeks. But at least he didn't blush anymore when we held hands. Of course, I was flattered that I had such an effect on him.

Just when I decided to call him to ask if everything was okay, he came jogging towards me and I couldn't take my eyes off him. Holy , dress to impress had never been as true as it is now. My date was a ing phenomenon. Black tight jeans, a blue turtleneck sweater peeked out from under the black leather jacket and instead of his usual sports shoes he wore black boots. He had styled his hair out of his face, and I almost forgot how to breathe when our eyes met.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry… I had forgotten something at home, and I had to get it again on the way. I hope you didn't have to wait too long for me.” He smiled apologetically at me and conjured up a white lily from behind his back. “This one is for you. I didn't know if you liked flowers and if so, I took advice, and the florist was so nice and helped me choose the perfect flower. Did you know that you can say so much with flowers? You really have to be careful not to offend someone accidentally,” he laughed, embarrassed.

Actually, I had nothing to do with flowers, but the gesture counted, so I was happy about it and accepted the lily thankfully.

“Jeno, that really wouldn't have been necessary, but thank you. That's really nice of you.” I couldn't stop my cheeks from turning pink when I smelled the flower. "And what exactly does white lily mean now?"

“White lilies stand for light and are a symbol of purity, innocence and ... erm ... ity. With an orange lily, however, I would have offended you. It stands for hatred and revenge. Luckily, the florist was kind enough to inform me in good time,” Jeno mumbled, embarrassed.

"And I didn't even know you were swearing revenge on me," I laughed and took his hand in mine. I waved our clasped hands playfully back and forth. "And where are we going now?"

“It's still a surprise. We can walk there from here. Ready?"

I nodded and my heart popped out of my chest as Jeno brought my hand to his mouth and breathed a gentle kiss on the back of my hand.

"Then let's go, Pretty."

 

Jeno was so wrong. So, so, so wrong. But I couldn't even blame him. After all, he didn't know anything about my past or my fears. And I had no idea how to tell him that ice skating was the last thing I wanted to do. The open-air ice rink was beautifully decorated with lights and flowers to match Valentine's Day. Even the music created a romantic mood. Couples skated hand in hand across the area while I stood petrified at the barrier and stared at the ice.

“I thought since you like to skate, that you can probably skate on ice too. Gliding would be easier than walking. Mark Hyung recommended this ice rink to me. It's nice here, isn't it?” Jeno sounded so enthusiastic so that I couldn't bring myself to reject him immediately without having at least tried it first.

"Yes ... yes ... really nice," I mumbled in a shaky voice.

"Wait here," he asked excitedly. "I'll lend us ice skates." He squeezed my hand briefly before letting go of it and running to the rental shop. While Jeno was busy renting our skates, I tried to regulate my heartbeat and control my breathing. I held on tightly to the barrier. My vision began to blur. A sign that tears were gathering in my eyes. , I was about to cry. How should I explain my breakdown to Jeno without telling him what connected me to the ice?

"Hey Pretty, I'm back. I think the skates should fit you. We should have the same shoe size."

I bit my lip nervously. A weak attempt to stifle a sob that was unsuccessful when Jeno noticed a tear run down my cheek.

"Jaemin-ah, are you crying? Did something happen when I was gone? Oh god, what's going on?” His voice rose an octave as he grabbed my shoulders and turned to face me. "Jaemin-ah, are you okay?"

"No," I sobbed. "I can not do this. I'm sorry Jeno. I can't skate with you."

"Hey, that's not bad," he breathed gently and wiped my tears away with his index finger. “I'm not a professional, but you can hold on to me. I will not let you go. I promise to you."

I shook my head in panic. “No… no… you don't understand. I can't go on the ice. I don't want to go on the ice. The ice is to blame for my Eommas dead. If only I hadn't wanted to skate that day, we wouldn't have been driving and we wouldn't have gotten into the rain. Please Jeno, please don't make me skate. Please don't ... please don't. "

Jeno had stared at me with wide eyes as I howled in front of him snot and water and fell into a gasp. My psychologist wouldn't be happy about my panic attack again.

“Oh god no, Jaeminie… no, of course not. I would never force you to do anything.” He dropped the skates carelessly on the floor and pulled me into his arms to whisper reassuring words in my ear. "I am so sorry. I did not know that. Forgive me. I should have told you about my plan beforehand and not just dragged you here. Please stop crying. Everything is good. We'll do something different.” He patted the back of my head comfortingly.

“I'm so sorry Jeno-yah. You thought about our date and I'm ruining it with my trauma," I sobbed softly against his neck.

“Don't apologize for something you aren’t blamed for. Nothing that happened was your fault. I don't care what we do as long as we do it together. Then let's go out to eat now. Is that okay with you?” Jeno’s warm, deep voice was soothing, as was his hand on the back of my head. There he lovingly massaged my scalp and the electric shocks that rushed through my body made my heart beat faster in a different way. In a way that was much more pleasant.

He gently pushed me away from him so that he could look into my face. A few tears still ran down my cheeks and my gasps had turned into hiccups. Jeno took my face in both hands and ran his thumbs over my cheeks. “Pretty, don't cry. We'll call a taxi now and we’ll drive to the restaurant that I have chosen for us. The world looks better again with something warm in the stomach."

I smiled shyly and nodded. After taking a deep breath, I put my right hand on his, which was still holding my cheek. "Let's go," I asked him.

We brought the skates back and walked to the exit, only to be confronted with my other trauma. It had started raining during my breakdown at the Ice Rink and I refused to get into a car or bus.

"Then ... then we'll just get wet," Jeno said simply and shrugged his shoulders. “And instead of going to the restaurant, we go to my place. I live only ten minutes on foot from here. We just order something from the delivery service."

I was just glad that Jeno was such an understanding date. So, we hurried hand in hand to his apartment, where we arrived completely drenched.

I had hoped that I would enter Jeno's apartment for the first time under different circumstances and without wetting his entrance area. We both shivered like aspen leaves as we struggled out of our jackets and threw them carelessly on the floor. Jeno pushed me straight into his bathroom before I even had a chance to look at his apartment. The bathroom was huge for a single apartment. I always thought that Jaehyuns and my bathroom were already big, but an apartment in Yaletown was something else.

He got a couple of towels from a closet and handed me two. "Please warm up in the shower. In the meantime, I'll choose something for you to wear until your clothes are dry."

"What about you?" I asked while my teeth chattered together.

“I don't get sick so fast. Don’t you worry about that. I'll leave you alone then. I'll put the fresh clothes in front of the door. Take your time."

With a smile he closed the bathroom door behind him to give me the privacy I needed. I stood motionless for a brief moment, staring at the spot Jeno had been standing on, before I began to peel off my wet clothes. He was so incredibly considerate that that alone warmed me up from the inside, but the hot shower was still good. Jeno had put boxer shorts, white socks, black sweatpants and a gray hoodie in front of the door. After putting on his clothes, which actually fitted perfectly, and rubbed my hair dry as best I could with the towel, I left the bathroom.

Jeno's apartment was completely open plan and when you stepped out of the bathroom, you were actually right in the kitchen, which, like the bathroom, was twice as big as mine at home. Jeno was just about to cut a watermelon on the kitchen counter when I stood next to him. Like me, he wore sweatpants and a hoodie, but all in black. When he noticed me, he looked up at me and smiled amusingly. “I took the liberty of ordering us pizza. However, they have already announced long waiting times. It would be the Valentine's rush. I hope that's okay with you."

"What are you doing there?" I wanted to know and watched him attentively as he separated the red pulp from the melon from the shell. "And yes, pizza is okay."

“I thought as long as we could wait, we could start with dessert. I still have the melon from Mark Hyung.” He held a piece of melon in front of my mouth, which I willingly opened to be fed.

“Who is this Mark anyway? You have already mentioned him a couple of times,” I asked curiously.

“Oh, didn't I tell you about him? I thought I told you on the phone last night," Jeno mumbled and held a fresh piece of melon in front of my mouth before throwing one in his own mouth. “I bumped into him on campus yesterday while he was bringing watermelons to the cafeteria. Two broke because of the crash. In compensation, I had helped him offload the rest. He is of Korean descent but was born here. He is a year older than me and is studying philosophy. The Ice Rink was his idea because it would be a popular date location. He is really nice. I think I've found a new friend in him.” While he was telling me about Mark, he had kept feeding me the whole time and in between he had also fed himself. "Pretty sweet the melon," he commented as he the juice off his fingers.

"Do I have to expect competition?" I joked, poking my finger into his side. He winced, before poking back.

"Nonsense, I only have eyes for you."

"I forgot. I'm so pretty," I giggled as he tickled me.

“Yes, you are”, he smiled and was enjoying himself while he noticed that I was ticklish as hell and tried to flee from him. "Ohhhh, you're ticklish," Jeno stated happily and chased after me to use his new knowledge against me.

We ran a few laps around the sofa before I tripped over my own feet and lost my balance. Startled, I grabbed his hoodie to hold on to something, but instead I dragged him into the fall. Jeno reflexively protected my head with his hand from an impact that would not have been so bad either way since the couch was littered with pillows. We laughed a bit childish at this mishap until we both suddenly realized what position we were in. Jeno was on top of me. I lay under him. His face hovered a few inches above mine. We stopped laughing and stared at each other. We were both out of breath and we gasped without taking our eyes off each other. Jenos gaze wandered from my eyes to my mouth and suddenly I found myself with him in our own little bubble. All I could hear was our excited breathing and my own fast heartbeat. Every fibre of my body felt his on me. The warmth he radiated passed into my body and it gave me a feeling of security and closeness. Oddly enough, even our breathing was in tune. I let my gaze wander over his face as well. Sensed every detail of him. His thick eyelashes, his birthmark under his eye and on his nose, which I actually only noticed now. I slowly raised my hand and ran my thumb over the mole under his eye. It would be silly to deny that I didn't fall in love with it. Jeno reacted by sliding his fingers through my still slightly damp hair on the back of my head and massaging my scalp there. My eyes fluttered shut for a moment, but I quickly opened them again when I suddenly felt his breath much more strongly on my face as before and he had actually come a little closer to me. I bit my lip with a cheeky smile, knowing full well that it was provocative. But Jeno didn't move an inch and just his lips.

"You want to kiss me," I whispered softly. “Don’t you?”

"Yeah," he muttered. "But …"

"I'm your first kiss," I stated. “Am I?”

Jeno breathed a soft and ashamed "Yeah."

"Just kiss me!" I asked him. "Do not worry."

I put my other hand on the back of his neck as he bridged the last few millimetres between us and pressed his lips to mine. The first touch was timid and barely noticeable. As light and warm as a breath of wind in summer. The second touch was still a bit shy, but it lingered a little longer, as if a beautiful butterfly had stopped for a moment on my lips before continuing its journey.

"I'm sorry that I'm so bad at it," Jeno breathed meekly.

"No," I disproved. "You are not. That is cute. Just go on. Do what you feel like," I encouraged him.

The third kiss then managed to completely tear the floor from under my feet. It felt so much deeper and braver than the previous two combined. Confirming, I hummed into the kiss and closed my eyes to enjoy this new feeling. It wasn't fireworks that went off in me as others would describe their first kiss. Instead, I was flooded with warmth, my fast-beating heart calming down and feeling more contented than ever before. That was all I needed and missed all these months, maybe even years. I felt safe with Jeno and that was a wonderful feeling. It was a sign that I could let myself fall. And that's what I did. I let myself fall and kissed him back. Slowly and timidly so as not to scare him. Our lips literally melted together, and I was ready to give him another first time that I thought he was ready for it after he hesitantly bit my lower lip. So, I gave him a couple of open mouth kisses before teasing my tongue over his lower lip. Jeno understood my plan and opened his mouth invitingly for his very first French kiss.

Sighing, he received my tongue with his in his mouth. I could still taste the sweetness of the watermelon, which made me feel intoxicated. Surprisingly, he didn't give me the upper hand. His tongue skilfully played around with mine and a surprising noise escaped deep from my throat, which only seemed to spur him on even more. He conquered my mouth with his tongue, and he pressed his body even closer to mine. A passion arose between us that I hadn't expected. The hand that was holding the back of my head was now holding my face and his other hand was heavy on my hip while I buried my hands in his hair. I moaned the most embarrassing sound of all time into his mouth as he slipped his hand under the fabric of the hoodie and I felt his warmth on my skin. I tore myself from the kiss, panting and felt the blush shot into my face.

"Oh my god," I moaned, making Jeno laugh softly.

He ran his nose along my jaw until it reached my ear. "Sorry," he apologized to me.

“There is nothing to apologize for. I provoked it," I mumbled.

"I hope I didn't disappoint you."

"Shut up and keep kissing me," I told him and melted under his gentle touch on my hip.

"It's still raining," he whispered instead. "Stay the night."

I nodded in a daze and breathed a weak "Okay".

He ran his thumb over my lower lip. My lips must be quite red and swollen from kissing, but I haven't had enough of the sweet watermelon taste from his mouth. “You look so beautiful as you lie under me. And you taste so good."

"Then taste me further," I asked him and he dived right into the next breath-taking kiss.

But before we could get lost in it as much as in the first one, our bubble was destroyed by the ringing of the doorbell. Startled, Jeno literally jumped off me. "The pizzas," he mumbled lightly dumbfounded . "I had totally forgotten that." Laughing in embarrassment, he ruffled his hair.

"No stress," I laughed. "We still have the whole night to make out."

With a red head, Jeno hurried to the door to receive our pizzas. I couldn't have imagined a better Valentine's Day.