A laugh.

 

Minjoo feels her chest constricting.

 

A light hit on her shoulder.

 

She stills, taking a long look at the girl.

 

A smile.

 

Minjoo’s heart is about to explode.

 

It’s overwhelming. 

 

The feelings she brought her? The depth of her affection? The heaviness of her chest? The warmth of her hands? Her blinding smile? Or, maybe it’s her sweet caramel eyes?

 

Everything, Minjoo concluded.

 

Everything is overwhelming.

 

Minjoo really didn’t expect much when this night finally came around. Arriving at the event with an empty mind; she wasn’t even really looking forward to prom night. She actually didn’t even want to be here in the first place. But here she was— standing by the fruit punch. Watching teenagers dance to various songs at the center of their school’s gym. Laughing and chatting with Chaewon. 

 

With Chaewon.

 

And maybe that’s where all of her unexpectedness went. The mere presence of the older girl was enough to make her night much more interesting. And complicated.

 

Minjoo prides on having such a good sense of self-discipline and self-control. There’s a reason why she ranks so high in all of her classes. Why she is able to study for hours a day and finish her school work days before its deadline. The recipe to real success is not just hard work, but discipline and self-control.

 

But, why does it feel like her self-control is being tested tonight?

 

The warm and heavy feeling in her chest is suffocating her. Choking her, squeezing the air out of her lungs, making it hard to breathe. This feeling was blinding her senses good, making her feel slightly numb and lightheaded as it persisted to burst out of her system.

 

Chaewon’s warm, sweet caramel eyes weren't really helping her at all.

 

It actually worsens whatever the that was going on inside her. Each glance, each grin, each touch— she’s slowly losing the tight grip she had on her feelings for the older girl. Like a bottle cap of an extremely shaken soda that was about to pop off. The carbonated liquid that will burst out of the said bottle would be the deep affection and big amount of love she had to give for the older girl. 

 

She fears the worst when it does burst out. Exploding and exposing. Stripping her down of her masks and walls to show what’s really inside. 

 

Red, soft petals of a rose. A pool of sticky caramel. The black color of the midnight sky.

 

She’s so helplessly in love with Chaewon.

 

There’s a reason why she always keeps her feelings at bay. Downplaying every single action the girl does towards her as just something platonic. A silly fear always rises up from the pit of her stomach. A fear that sometimes even Minjoo, herself, finds it quite ridiculous to have.

 

She guesses, maybe it’s because it’s her first time having such deep feelings for someone. That’s why she has this silly fear. Deep feelings for someone so close to her. Someone she cares about a lot. 

 

She fears losing Chaewon in the midst of her bursting feelings.

 

It’s idiotic— even she knows that. Chaewon isn’t one to put these bubbling feelings of hers against her. She knows she won’t. She’s just not that type of person.

 

But the fear is inevitable to feel, Minjoo guessed.

 

And she also already considered the possibility of Chaewon reciprocating what she feels— even if it’s only in her wildest dreams. She considered it and she still feared about— what if it doesn’t work out? Everything going wrong?

 

It’s a silly fear. Minjoo just didn’t want to end up hurting the both of them.

 

That’s why she opted to keep her feelings and emotions only to a calming wave. The bottle cap closed tight. The walls build themselves higher around them, making sure it stays hidden within the deepest part of her heart.

 

Minjoo isn’t quite sure if she is able to do that anymore by the end of the night.

 

“Hey,” Chaewon called out to her. A warm hand gingerly holding onto her wrist as her favorite caramels were clouded with worry. “You alright?”

 

Chaewon is testing her self-control.

 

“I’m—” Minjoo didn't get to finish her sentence. The sudden change in the atmosphere because of the song choice made her tongue tied. The familiar start of the song suddenly made Minjoo’s brain short circuit. Perfect, just how funny.

 

Chaewon then tugs her wrist, a small smile on her lips.

 

“Come,” Chaewon says as she pulls her towards the dance floor.

 

Oh, god. This can’t be happening right now.

 

“I didn’t know you wanted to dance with me.” Minjoo managed to say between the loud beats of her heart. 

 

Chaewon only chuckles at that.

 

“You actually owe me one.”

 

Then she wraps her arms around Minjoo’s neck once they arrive at the dance floor near the back. Lacing her fingers behind the younger girl’s nape as Minjoo had no choice but to wrap her own arms around the older girl’s waist.

 

The scent of roses and mint invades Minjoo’s senses.

 

“I do?” She asked, genuinely. Her eyes only trained on the girl in her arms. Chaewon sees something swirl around her chocolate doused eyes. She couldn’t help the tinge of hope prickling her fragile heart.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to save a dance for me last year?” Chaewon said with a playful glare. Slightly looking up at the younger girl because of their chosen heels for the night. Either way, Chaewon was always slightly shorter than Minjoo.

 

She kind of likes their slight difference in height.

 

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January.

 

The first line of the song resonated throughout the whole gym. The two girls blur out the other people dancing together with them as they get lost in each other's eyes. 

 

“Oh,” Minjoo breathed out. Suddenly remembering the car ride they had last year.

 

(

 

“Minjoo-yah,” Chaewon called just before she exited the older girl’s car.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Spare me a dance tomorrow, alright?” The girl said with a small smile. Minjoo only laughed, her chest restricting.

 

“I will.”

 

)

 

“You forgot?” Chaewon meant to ask with a playful tone. But her voice was small and it was said in a whisper. She felt like she was shrinking under Minjoo’s dark eyes. An apologetic wave crashed inside her orbs as she gave her an equally apologetic smile.

 

And this is our place, we make the rules.

 

Chaewon felt her chest tightening in an uncomfortable way. The hot, molten chocolate that coated her heart burns. It left scorch marks around it as Chaewon tried her best to swallow all the pain down.

 

Of course, why would she remember it? She only sees me as a friend. 

 

Chaewon shatters the hope inside her chest.

 

“Sorry, my princess,” Minjoo whispers. 

 

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear.

 

She leaned her head down to place her forehead on the older’s. Holding her waist carefully as the warmth of her palms slipped past the fabric of Chaewon’s dress.

 

, Chaewon could only curse at herself. Her ears warmed up at the call name. She felt thankful that it was hidden behind her dark hair.

 

“I’m sorry for ditching the dance all of a sudden last year, too.” Minjoo closed her eyes, basking in the comforting scent of roses and mint. Basking in the warmth that came from Chaewon’s body. Basking in the moment.

 

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

 

Chaewon stared. 

 

This is unfair, she whined inside her head.

 

Minjoo still looked absolutely breathtaking even with her eyes closed. Her features were more prominent now that she was so close to her. Eyelids hiding her sweet dark chocolates as her long lashes touch the skin just below her eyes. Her face muscles relaxed as her cheeks felt like it was soft to the touch. And maybe they were— only if Chaewon had the bravery to hold them in between her palms.

 

Chaewon’s eyes trails down. 

 

Her lips looked enticing— it’ll only take one push of her head to catch them in between hers. To feel the softness of its skin. To taste the flavor they have.

 

She forced herself to close her eyes, shaking away the shivers the mere idea of kissing Minjoo sent.

 

The painful burning inside her chest dies to a calming flame. The type of flame only Minjoo can make. It was warm and pleasant. Chaewon thinks of it as a bonfire being lit up on a cold winter night.

 

As much as Minjoo can start an agonizing fire inside her chest, she’s also the only one that can extinguish them.

 

Chaewon foolishly falls for her all over again.

 

“I waited, you know?” She admitted quietly. The palm behind Minjoo’s neck moved slightly. Her fingers slipped inside her beige hair as she the strands just above her nape.

 

Can I go where you go?

 

Her voice sounded vulnerable, Minjoo could tell. The way she spoke was too soft and her voice was too small. Minjoo felt a thorn prick her heart. She only pulls her waist closer as they continue to sway their bodies slowly to the song.

 

“I could only guess.” Minjoo tightens her hold on the older girl’s waist.

 

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

 

“Minjoo,” Chaewon called. Her fingers moved down to touch the skin on the back of her neck. Caressing her nape gently as she opened her eyes again to look at the taller girl.

 

“Hm?” Minjoo only hummed as a reply. The first chorus of the song rang in their ears as they continued to dance to its slow beat.

 

Their position was so comfortable for her. Chaewon’s warmth was calming as the ministrations she did on her neck was lulling her— she’s sure that she can sleep peacefully inside Chaewon’s arms.

 

She moves closer to her as a result. She didn’t really wanna let go of her.

 

“Do you like me?” 

 

And ah, take me out,

 

The question slightly caught Minjoo off guard. Her steps faltered a little as she almost opened her eyes in surprise. She quickly regained her composure, though. Keeping her eyes closed as she flattens her right palm just below Chaewon’s back.

 

and take me home.

 

“More than I’d admit,” she lightly confessed. It was technically the truth— she likes the older girl too much for her own good. 

 

She loves her.

 

Chaewon frowned at her reply. A whirlwind of confusion and frustration swirled around her caramel eyes.

 

You're my, my, my, my—

 

“You’re so frustrating,” she couldn’t help but say.

 

Lover.

 

“I am?” Minjoo whispered, slightly concerned. Slowly forgetting about the slow song playing in the back as her ears drowned them out so she can only listen to Chaewon’s voice.

 

“Why do you…” Chaewon’s words trailed off. Her frown deepened as her eyes lost focus on the younger girl. A burning sensation lined as she tried her best to control her b emotions.

 

They slowed to a stop. Minjoo pulled slightly away from her as she fluttered her eyes open to look at the girl.

 

Her eyebrows were knit together as her forehead wrinkles at how deep her frown was. Her eyes seemed to space off, the caramel pools filled with a fiery emotion. She pursed her lips in a thin line. 

 

“Chae?” Minjoo called, worried. She felt her heart lodge up in as she waited for the girl’s reply.

 

“You always give me mixed signals,” was Chaewon’s answer. She felt frustrated. So ing frustrated. “Am I just overanalyzing our friendship? Do I just at knowing the difference between platonic love and a romantic one?”

 

Minjoo felt the girl lightly squeeze her nape. Her eyes widened a fraction at the implications of what the older girl said. She tightened her hold on her waist again, trying to make sure that the girl wouldn't run away.

 

“Chae, I—”

 

“I’m in love with you, Kim Minjoo.” 

 

Chaewon’s eyes darted up to her own. Sweet caramel meeting dark chocolates. Minjoo felt her breath hitch at the confession. Her hands around the girl’s waist unknowingly slacking as she continued to stare at the older girl with wide eyes.

 

“So please.” Chaewon stared at her. The frustration changed into something desperate.

 

“Don’t break my heart.”

 

Then she pulls away.

 

Minjoo tried hard to keep her in her arms. The warmth of her hands retracted from Minjoo’s nape as she slightly pushed her chest away from her. The younger girl tried to latch onto her arms and wrist, but Chaewon swiftly dodged them as she started to walk away.

 

Minjoo gets suffocated. The thorns dig into her heart, drawing blood.

 

“Wait— Chaewon!” She shouted after her. Trying her best to move and walk past the dancing bodies as she chased the older girl. Dodging and turning as she watched the older girl’s retreating back.

 

Can I go where you go?

 

The song continued to play, making Minjoo feel like it was laughing at her stupidity.

 

“Minjoo!” Someone called behind her, holding onto her wrist as she desperately watched Chaewon disappear behind the red doors.

 

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

 

She turned to look back at the person who called her. Her chocolate eyes frantic as she tried to shrug off the hold they had on her wrist.

 

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever).

 

“Woah, are you okay?” Ryujin asked as she momentarily forgot what she was gonna say to the girl. Her brown eyes filled with concern.

 

You're my, my, my, my.

 

“Ryu, I—”

 

Oh, you're my, my, my, my.

 

Minjoo felt like she was choking on the rose petals. The song was slowly coming to an end as she continued to stare at her friend with panicky eyes.

 

Darling, you're my, my, my, my—

 

“I gotta go.” 

Lover.

-

Minjoo runs.

 

Once she pushed the red doors of the school’s gym, she booked it. Running down the halls with heels on was hard. Her toes were digging in on the tips of her shoes— it was painful. But she didn’t care. 

 

She ran with meaning, a heart carefully placed inside her hands.

 

Chaewon’s heart.

 

And that was enough for her to sprint as fast as she could towards the exit of their school. Already knowing that the girl will most probably drive herself home after her confession earlier.

 

Minjoo’s body was running on adrenaline. Her brain slightly fried at the thought that Chaewon loves her.

 

Chaewon loves her.

 

She runs faster.

 

She saw the familiar red car turn on its headlights at the parking lot just in front of their school building. She runs down the stairs— nearly tripping as she quickly recovers herself. She ran after the car without thought. Taking advantage of the slow speed of the vehicle, she flings herself in front of it. Her hands slamming down the hood as her eyes met Chaewon’s through the front window.

 

“Minjoo, what the !? Do you wanna die?!” Chaewon shouts as she steps out of her car. Minjoo frantically walks up toward her while panting.

 

“Chaewon, hear me out—”

 

“If this is about what I said earlier— just forget it.” Chaewon cuts her off. Looking up, she met her favorite pair of chocolate eyes. An emotion was crashing around them that Chaewon couldn’t recognize.

 

“I’m not forgetting what you said,” Minjoo firmly said as she tried to get closer to the girl. Attempting to hold onto her arms as Chaewon forced herself to not succumb to the younger girl’s warmth. Pushing her away on her chest as she tried to put distance between them.

 

"Minjoo, please—"

 

"Chaewon, listen to me—" 

 

They kept cutting each other off. Chaewon successfully pushed Minjoo away as the latter stumbled backward.

 

"If you're worried that our friendship is over— it's not okay? I'm still gonna be the girl you can call in the middle of the night. I'd still pick you up and drive you home from school. I'm still gonna be your friend." Her eyes were glimmering under the poor lighting of the nearby streetlight. Her caramels were clouded with hurt as tears started to pool inside her eyes. The thorns inside Minjoo’s heart dig in further.

 

"I just need time to get over you," Chaewon breathed out. Swallowing down the sob that she wanted to release. She blinked her tears away as she stared at Minjoo with sad eyes.

 

I don’t want you to get over me, Minjoo wanted to say. But she struggled to find her voice. The lump in thickened as Chaewon continued to spew out nonsense.

 

"We're gonna be fine. I'm not leaving you.”

 

The bottle of her feelings are threatening to spill.

 

“I'm your life partner, right? I'm staying whether you like it or not. You can't get rid of me that easi—"

 

Minjoo holds onto her arm. Roughly pulling her closer as her other hand cups Chaewon’s face. Her lips finding the older’s in a gentle kiss.

 

Chaewon freezes. Her brain turned into mush again as she crumbled under the younger girl’s touch. She felt Minjoo release her arm to wrap them around her waist. Pulling her closer as her thumb rubbed onto the soft skin of her cheek.

 

She could only close her eyes and drown herself in the comforting scent of vanilla and jasmine.

 

Cherries, Chaewon took note of the flavor that lingered on Minjoo’s lips. The skin under hers was softer than she could imagine. It was enough for her to push her own lips further into the younger girl’s, finally reciprocating the kiss as she unknowingly deepened the contact.

 

Minjoo sighed in content. Chaewon’s arms coming up to wrap them around her neck for the second time tonight. Her fingers immediately found the softness of her beige strands as she caressed the scalp just above her nape.

 

Minjoo pulled away, breathless. 

 

"I said listen to me, princess.”

 

Minjoo popped the bottle cap off herself.

 

She still kept her tight embrace on the older girl as her thumb kept gliding against the older girl’s cheeks. Chaewon looked up at her with hopeful eyes.

 

"Minjoo…" Chaewon trailed off.

 

"Did you know that I am a coward?" Minjoo chose to say. "An idiot as dense as a brick." She chuckled.

 

Chaewon only stared at her expectantly. Her caramel orbs softened at the sight of Minjoo’s slightly awkward grin. 

 

"I'm so damn good at academics but I…" Minjoo shook her head, a frown forming on her brows. "I'm a when it comes to what I feel about you," she confessed. The lump in slowly evaporated as she stared at her favorite eyes in the whole world. 

 

There was a simmering feeling inside Chaewon’s chest. The molten chocolate inside her heart didn’t burn her anymore. They only gave her a warm feeling.

 

This feels nice.

 

"I'm sorry for confusing you, Chaewon. It wasn't my intention to frustrate you,” Minjoo admitted. Her eyes slightly downcasted at the thought that she was the cause of the girl’s heartache. "I just— I don't know. I was scared."

 

A pause.

 

Chaewon caressed her nape to try and calm her down.

 

"Of what?" The older girl whispered quietly, encouraging her to continue. A small grin formed on her face as she watched Minjoo’s tense shoulders slacken.

 

"Of everything."

 

The brewing feelings inside her chest, the deep affection she has for the older girl, the amount of love she has to give.

 

"I've never felt this for anyone before," she confessed. "My flight instinct kicked in. That's why I forced myself to think of everything you did for me as something friendly. I unconsciously rejected you because I was scared of this unknown thing inside me." 

 

Minjoo frowned. The frustration Chaewon felt passed onto her as she didn’t like how she acted towards the older girl. Everything she did was misleading.

 

Fortunately for her, Chaewon could see right through her. That’s why the older girl gave her a quick peck on the lips. Her fingers never stopped their ministrations on her nape as Minjoo let out a sigh.

 

"I'm an honor student. I should be able to make sense of a lot of things." Minjoo looked back again to stare at Chaewon’s eyes. Her dark chocolate orbs swirling with something that Chaewon finally understood.

 

Affection and love.

 

"I fear what I don't know," Minjoo admitted again. "I bottled all my feelings up because I was a coward." She shook her head at the reality of what she really felt. Chaewon only kissed her cheek to try and cheer her up.

 

"But I don't think I can keep them in a bottle anymore." There was a fire inside Minjoo’s orbs. Her eyes darkened as they looked like pools of molten chocolate. Chaewon was reminded of the time back in the cafeteria.

 

"I'm not forgetting what you said." Minjoo slowly leaned in, her lips ghosting just above the older girl’s.

 

"Because I'm so, so ing in love with you, Kim Chaewon." 

 

Minjoo doesn’t feel like suffocating anymore. The overwhelming feelings she had for the Chaewon was finally out in the open.

 

And she felt at ease to know that she wasn’t the only one feeling this.

 

"I'm so ing in love with you…"

 

Minjoo dived in, her heart full as she met Chaewon’s lips in another sweet kiss.

-

They were already at Minjoo’s house.

 

In the end, both of them chose to ditch the dance. Deciding to just hang out at the younger girl’s place. Minjoo also insisted on driving them home because Chaewon felt uncomfortable driving in her dress and heels. The older girl just agreed because she also felt slightly tired with the things that happened that night.

 

With that in mind, she felt her heart flutter because Minjoo loves her.

 

Minjoo loves her.

 

She smiled as she gripped onto the slightly bigger hand inside her own. Walking up the porch stairs as Minjoo tried to fish her house keys out of her slacks’ pockets.

 

"You know…" Chaewon softly spoke to the gentle night breeze. Minjoo hummed as a reply to let the girl know she was listening. "I tried kissing you here on your front porch one time."

 

Minjoo stopped what she was doing. She let go of the key that was already jammed inside her front door’s knob.

 

"You did?" Minjoo faced her with a stupid smile. Chaewon rolled her eyes playfully at the sight of this lovesick fool.

 

Her lovesick fool, Chaewon corrected herself.

 

"Yeah. After we watched a movie at the drive-in. You moved your head to the side when I leaned in."

 

Minjoo could remember that night vividly. It honestly felt like a date. That time, they were using the younger girl’s dad’s rundown truck. Blankets and pillows were neatly placed on the truck bed as they cuddled throughout the whole movie. 

 

"Kissed this part of your face…" Chaewon trailed off as she touched the skin near the corner of her lips. 

 

Minjoo felt her heart soar at the memory.

 

"Did you forget about that, too?" Chaewon sent her a playful glare. Minjoo’s smile widened as her eyes turned into crescents. 

 

How could she forget?

 

She was positive she lost her mind that night. She remembered staring blankly at her ceiling as she struggled to fall asleep.

 

Minjoo wanted to play along, though.

 

"I think I don't quite remember…" she said in a low voice. Her hands immediately finding Chaewon’s waist as she pulled her closer. The older girl smiled as she saw the glint inside her chocolate orbs.

 

"Do you need some help with that?" Chaewon comes closer. Wrapping her arms around her neck again as her right hand held onto her nape.

 

"I think I do,” Minjoo whispered. The warm and soft feeling brewing inside her chest reflected on her eyes. Her smile slowly fell into a small, genuine grin.

 

She’s so ing in love.

 

"You're in luck." Chaewon’s grip on the back of her neck tightens.

 

"Because I can help you.”

 

Chaewon kissed Minjoo’s cherry flavored lips for the nth time that night. Her heart felt like it was fit to burst as the molten chocolate inside it filled them to the brim.

 

The moon was their only witness that night. Kissing under its light as their hearts finally reached each other.

 

Minjoo prides on having such a good sense of self-discipline and self-control. She’s an honor student for a reason.

 

But she learns that her self-control could only handle so much when it comes to Chaewon.

 

No matter how much of a coward or a dense brick Minjoo might be— at the end of the day, the feelings Chaewon brought her will always overpower her right state of mind.

 

And she’s content with that.

 

Because right now,

 

She’s kissing the girl she loves.

 

She will never trade this feeling for another.