Chapter 4: She is aonaran, while her is profound.

"Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you?" - Rachel Green

Sana once again failed to notice where she is, in what she seeing right in front of her own eyes. It was the painting she gave her a piece of her to Rosé. A part of emotional support between that both of them themselves understand.

A block of rough of red colors on a canvas. The fine light brush in different kind can see that there's a tinge of yellow beneath she covered in red. Splotches of red was there that a meticulous in-depth person can decipher only the meaning of it.

Yellow isn't oftentimes corellation to happiness or red for love too.

Just like her own face on the mirror.

Who would've think I need to sleep to cope up my sadness in my heart and not from my exhausting college life? No one else except Rosé.

It's been few years ago and almost done, Mina took the time to go, Rosé is still here with me, they're looking for one thing I dreaded about. The word so similar I suffice to not associated myself again for the last time. 

Love is dream.

The purpose to do whatever they'll understand it. I should have known that this plan will be the hindrance to their own plan. I thought everyone was there pointing towards one thing. I shouldn't assumed easily for they will left me as I had that cursed.

What gives in to nurture the love? As if, it thrill them to fascinated and Mina, the friend of mine that teld me it's a nightmare but nowhere she defined it as that, while Rosé is going circles for the nth time.

Pathetic. Just like them. I will miss them. But I'll treat them as they are doing it for being blind.

Blinking lights and numbing sounds echo in my body. I'm in here on a overview balcony trolling to see the nightlight Winter telling me about how she adore the sky above in midnight. There's none of those words describing now for what I saw in this time. 

It's black there's nothing there but a side of I don't think I can appreciated. The surrounding area is flashing to make sure I'm here to close my mind and swayed on the upbeat rhythm from behind. Too closed, too drunk, and not I'm upset but wherein I can talk freely without being judged.

It's past two am midnight and going crazy at the background where I hitch an invitation. Because I'm a Cruz for the time being I feel reckless to drive and dive in for the craziness Sae's after-party. A love that got away of her bestfriend wasn't the one but herself. The last time that I confronted her, gave away the exact same thing why Winter get thru having a cold exterior to get come through.

I shouldn't think of them as before. Mina, Sae, and Winter as they're not the person they used to be. Because of so called rejected from the love and lies between the promises of it.

They changed for the worse that I need to save my last friend on that coming storm.

Rosé the one I can't see the last bit of her hope vanished.

I have to protect her from Suzy. 

First thing I should've done before for Sae right at the moment when my instinct goes crazy. That no-named person she told me is the one thing I figured it out was the one I pushed her love to another one. I am guilty about it, the plot I don't know that drive my first customer to go crazy, but whoever is that guy rescue the girl from my client is the same person. She talking about for the whole time I reached out to her to seek help after her heart broken by the love she passed.

I am going back at my place where I can find myself not to touch any troubles. This is my last day of Sana behind this open area where I can only be the witness to be the Santana Cruz.

Goodbye, everyone.

The first and last time Sana reply before she collapsed in the warm arms of person save her in the nick of time. Her mobile submerged to the deepest part of the water outside the yacht they are.

One thing for sure, the person who save Sana from drowning herself is the one that triggers Joy to save their selves too. An eventful night Sana forget but Joy remembering every detail of it.

The cliché but true why there is something else from the girl she labelled as out of her league when she is not Santana Cruz. A moment of silence why she written in her mind a poem could be the best she wrote than anything else from the love letters she held nothing.

One thing she can't help to know why it's her that drive her to be in the situation she didn't imagine. She is the friend she needs to protect from any harm that she can't help to give in and comfort her from everyone could take that smile. If anything that will work then and after the election that take her down, she will do it for her. 

Not because she is the girl her parents told her so, rather she is the same thing her friend Rosé and little bit of a girl she left behind.

The girl she left on the park, the lady behind the art she drawn from the dancing girl was all the same, like throwing it's Joy from the start that time. A moment to add and insist she is the person whose not searching, only appreciate. From the university she admitted to adore her smile on the gala her parent's introduce her from everyone before she chose to be someone everyone thought of her.

There is something else

I did watched the both sides of coins.

The concept attached on a way home are in it.

Collision of the ground at the cement,

Looks great because you are betting of.

Before you knew the idea of I am having there.

Agreed to be one of them wherein I'm unknown.

Looking forward to seeing everyone at that point.

The following document is strictly attached to it.

That was my first time to wrote a personal prose poem which tackled the first formal meeting of you on your own world.

The first time in my surprised were we at, your there minding own your business while others flock on you. It is a charity event for the street artist from the school I attended. It weren't in mainstream that's why I participate in behalf of a moody friend. To cut the long story short, she is the partner in crime of the things I am sure I'm happy when the outcomes aren't going to fine or vice versa. Since then we became a sister that strengthen of one reason.

It is art.

You are interested and yet engaging to the persons surrounding you even more of like your in a spotlight. I heard about that your name is a typical word I often describe in my art piece. 

Your name is the opposite of it and was the first word I listened to you in a sea of crowd.

Or was I thought it is, but somehow there's a young boy called you Joy, and no older than the puberty age, if I interpret the way he spoke to you.

It's like there's a catch of delight when you saw him 'was it your little brother' because it irk me to know you more. The inspiration behind of my art is joy either way how I felt during I working on them. Likewise, Rosé told me before when I'm an exchange student and befriend her in the art room full of bright colors. She was there pointing out the significance of the art like I am a well known artist. Because I could portrayed the feelings of sadness on her part. 

It's a simple only, there's a tree, a stop sign beside a waiting shed for the bus, and a person with white cane crossing across to the busy highway. I forgot the people were there in the streets looking on that way on that person in awe and disbelief. The inspiration behind of it was when I'm a kid and thought what if I am there in that shoes. It is the second time that I saw Rosé cried for a reason I know and not knowing I am too. Just like Winter who is vocal to encourage me to pursue my passion in the midst of transitioning to become a medical student. And that was the time I know what was for having a family on a pool of uncertainty in my heart.

Anyway that is a thought of mine that hidden in the back of my mind. 

Back to the past I remembered you were there in the event I found out my last time to be an artist. I didn't know that it's the opportunity to see you again so soon. I couldn't find myself to continue not to laugh my silliness. 

Because I saw you on your practice room with a piece I hope you'll not purchase it. You should say that it was from a student than to compare it it's a masterpiece like Banksy. I'm not surprised for that matter when I known you for years in my opinion. Even though you don't see me as much I appreciate of it. I can think of it as achievement for me. 

I don't think you can get to see me thru my eyes like I was before. The first encounter of us that I created and showcase for the first and last time that Winter dont know it. 

The one hanging on the wall is a female tourist in sundress twirling around on a park full of people cheering to her. A male dancer in the presence of his band that busking that time is her partner. Last but not the least a female student admiring her smile in dejection. It is the first time I venture and try vivid and colorful colors to my painting.

You are Joy who knows the beauty of melancholic in my piece of art from the one I gifted for your performance. Not because you were amazed at what I did. But because you understood why the lone female student looking at the girl in despair. 

Did you imagine yourself that your smile weren't as perfect as it seems to that one person?