The almost thirty years old man breathed in the crispy air of the dawn and slowly, he exhales it out.

The chilliness burned his lungs. 

It was five in the morning yet the night was more stubborn than to fade into the earliest shades of the morning and he despised it internally.

His grip around the strips of the duffel bag loosens and he shoves a hand into the pocket of his trousers. He had nothing but the clothes that he came in, which he currently wore, few study materials and business plans, his wallet where the picture of him and her pulling up a mixture of genuine and made-up smiles at each other rested safely, and lastly, both of her opened letters and the unsent letters of his.

“You are ready? How are you feeling?” The young officer, Young Ho, lifted an excited eyebrow. 

Baekhyun doesn’t reply but shifts a cold glance towards him and the guard took his silence as an answer. He has established that Baekhyun wasn’t talkative nor he enjoyed people who talked a lot. And apparently, knowing each other for the past four years didn’t mean they could share a chat.

Young Ho, embarrassed, sheepishly nods and proceeds to open the little cubicle’s door where two sets of officers guarded the inner door and the outer door. The cubicle was suited as a part of the huge gates, where Baekhyun caught a glimpse of the outside.

He follows the officer inside. He didn’t expect the air to change, but the first breath he took outside of the penitentiary’s yard was easier to inhale than he had in the past six years. 

“Oh, I thought no one was going to pick you up.”

“No one—“ Baekhyun began before the officer stepped aside and the sight of Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, and what appears to be a very cold Sehun leaning against a black fancy car came into sight.

“I told you not to come.” Baekhyun deadpanned to them then he slightly turned to Young Ho and bowed his head as a farewell. He stepped down the other side.

“That’s what you say to someone who has been waiting here for an hour?” Chanyeol replied but the grin on his lips didn’t disappear as he advanced and enveloped Baekhyun in a hug, who grumbled but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling and patted the taller’s back. 

Chanyeol stepped aside and Kyungsoo wrapped one arm around him as well, a small smile plastered upon his mouth.

Kyungsoo steps back, a hand planted on his friend’s shoulder. “It's good to have you back, Baek.”

Baekhyun nods, a corner of his lips lifted. 

“Baek hyung!” Sehun whined loudly from the car and they all turned around. 

Sehun’s arms wrapped around himself. “Welcome back but can we get back into the car now? Also, I am hungry and got off an eleven-hour flight but clearly, no one seems to care.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “That what happens when you sacrifice a piece of wool to a satin shirt, Sehun.” He referred to the piece of shirt underneath the patterned coat of Sehun.

An amusement smirk lifted a corner of Baekhyun’s mouth.

He had spent so many days worrying about if it would feel normal to be back around them again. Or rather if it would be comfortable for them to be around him.

He still wasn’t sure if they were. But whiny Sehun had made him relieved inside.

He throws the duffel bag to Sehun, who last minute caught it as Baekhyun walked towards the passenger seat.

“Let’s go.”

———————

Baekhyun crossed his legs and placed down his cup on the circular table in front of him. 

“So you finished your internship a month ago?”

“Yes.” Lucas grinned excitedly. “We also participated in international competitions. To which we were all in the first place. We were also offered deals from a worldwide company.” The younger one shrugged a proud shoulder and leaned back. 

Lucas wasn’t Lucas anymore, Baekhyun has noted. He seemed carefree. He didn’t wear suits any longer but hoodies and jeans. Apparently, he only wore suits because Baekhyun forced him to. 

But Baekhyun didn’t care back then, and he didn’t now.

But he also noticed how his fingers tapped anxiously on his knees. As if they were restless for being at rest.

“” We?”” Baekhyun tilts his head to the side and his bored gaze fell over the set of two boys and a pink-haired girl of around the same age as Lucas, all hunched down on the table behind them as they whispered something to each other, their eyes sneaking on him. But the moment Baekhyun’s cold stare fell on them, they look away in an unsubtle, nervous manner.

“Yes.” Lucas glanced over his shoulder and smiled warmly before he looked back at the older male. “We met in college. Oh, we also come as a package. So... wherever I go, they go.”

Baekhyun shifted his attention and glare back at him. “Are you trying to negotiate our deal?”

Lucas shook his head. “No, but... without them, I can’t work.” He leans forward eagerly. “The four of us will be able to bring your company forward more than you can imagine.”

Baekhyun’s gaze lingered on the boy in front of him for a long minute. 

What was Lucas’s real name? He honestly couldn’t recall but he should check his documents sometime soon.

Baekhyun sighs and gets on his feet. “Save your smooth talk for the interview.”

Lucas’s face beams and stands up quickly. “So that is a yes! Thanks Hyung!”

“Don’t thank me,” Baekhyun replied as he glanced at his overly-excited friends. 

“If I don’t see potential in them, I won’t hire them. And the choice will be yours if you want to join me or not.”

Baekhyun was still the same Baekhyun in many ways and different in another. He was still strict and he didn’t want anyone to forget that.

“We will exceed your expectations.” Lucas closed his grin into a confident one-sided smile.

“Good.” 

And Lucas was still the same smug boy he hired six years ago.

“See you later.” Baekhyun turns to leave and Lucas and his group get up to bow.

“Oh, and,” Baekhyun turns around halfway to the door. “I know I let you wear sneakers in the past but no more. Dress fully professional.” 

He heard Lucas groans as he exited the cafe. 

———————

Baekhyun sat at the end of the hotel’s king-sized bed.

He hasn’t done anything except laying on bed for the rest of the day while reviewing the company’s documents and thinking of her. Which was what he did the past years when he didn’t try to push her out of his mind by overworking himself in the suffocating five-men cell. 

He was thankful that Chanyeol suggested he takes a week break before he was presented to the major shareholders as the second secret chairman of their company. Though Baekhyun was partly against it. 

What will the partners say when he, a convicted and a former mafia leader steps in front of them? 

“Nothing.” Chanyeol had said back then after he casually sipped from his drink at lunch. “We entered the top ten companies ranking in the country recently and it’s only the beginning.”

Baekhyun leaned back against his chair. He scanned the restaurant for suspicious faces. A habit that should have died over time but it didn’t.

He sighed. “That wouldn’t change a thing if the word spread that one of that the owner is a past criminal.”

“Who spent his years in a cell repenting and building something magnificent.” Chanyeol leaned back and shrugged his shoulders. “It depends on how you deliver it to the public. And the right newspapers to do so. Also, your handsome face will soothe things over to the public.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes back then and even now. But he was glad to have time to think it over and decide whether to remain hidden or not. 

And push down the faint voice inside of him. Underneath every sleeve, there is a sin, the voice echoed somewhere deep in his brain. 

It was his father’s favorite saying. 

When Lucas mentioned earlier that he could bring every dirt on the shareholders and ties them to him, Baekhyun didn’t act like he already thought about that.

But he learned to ignore the voice over the past years. It stayed there, encountering his thoughts from time to time and Baekhyun had to let it be after while especially when fighting it had seemed to take a great toll on him.

He runs a hand through his freshly cut hair and turns to his side, the silk robe tied loosely around his torso where a scar, of five he earned in prison, ran across his chest and peeked out behind the gray fabric. 

The left wall of his bedroom was replaced by ceiling-to-floor tinted windows that reflected a blurry and distorted picture of him.

He looked tired. 

A sigh leaves his lips and he reaches out for his phone, dialing the number that has been on the screen for a while now.

The first ring was cut off immediately.

“Hi Eunbi—“

“You jerk, bastard son of bi—“

Baekhyun closed his eyes and inched his phone away from his ear till Eunbi finished her mouthful of curses, which took almost two full minutes.

“Are you done?” Baekhyun calmly said.

“You bet. You asshol-“

After another minute of curses, Eunbi sighed exhaustingly. “Congrats, Baekhyun.”

“Thanks.” He stalked towards the windows and his mirrored self vanished, the view of the busy city came into sight instead. “I assume you know why I am calling. Chanyeol told me you may be meeting her tonight.”

“And I assume you know what my answer to him was.” She replied through gritted teeth.

“Eunbi.”

“No.”

“Tell me the address.”

“Why do you think that she wants to meet you?” EunBi scoffed. “She suffered enough. You don’t know what she has been through because of you.”

Eunbi doesn’t need to remind him, he lives every day with the knowledge that he hurt Hana.

But he had his reasons and he needn’t explain to anyone but her.

“Eunbi, the address.”

“No, Baek—“

He sighed. “Please.”

“... You really thought this would work on me?”

Baekhyun closes his eyes and groans.

“I am sorry, Baekhyun. Well, not really. But you have to find someone else. Which I doubt will be more beneficial. You and your friends aren’t the heartthrobs you were anymore.”

Eunbi was right. 

He had called Sehun and it was the same outcome 

“Sehun, I am sure you are friends with many of your juniors.” He started.

“Oh~ we were more than friendly,” Sehun replied.

“Ugh,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “So call one of them and ask them about the dinner’s address tonight.”

“Oh, no. They hate me now. I broke half of their hearts.”

Of course he did.

Baekhyun had also tried to talk to a junior earlier today. But the moment he picked up and the junior heard his voice, he hung upon him.

Baekhyun had to swallow both his pride and anger and tries again with someone else to which was followed by a similar experience. And he gets it that everyone got scared of him but he has never done anything to them when these leeches partied their asses off his f**king credit card. Kyungsoo, being his honest self, was barely friends with those in younger years.

So Eunbi was his final hope.

“Eunbi, I have to talk to her.” He said. His voice laced with demands of urgency.

He thought of showing up at her house and forget about all these troubles. But he scratched the idea immediately. 

What Hana will do if he showed at her doorstep, after breaking up and not responding all this time?

Eunbi takes a deep annoyed breath. “Fine but I am not doing this for you, but for Hana.”

———————

Eunbi had told him to stay somewhere, till dinner ended, then she would call him. 

But he couldn’t hold himself from heading inside the park and stand exactly where he received the words that pulled him away from a cliff more than four years ago.

Baekhyun was dressed in a turtleneck underneath a suit of one of many Chanyeol’s assistant purchased for the shareholder meeting (now serving a higher purpose), layered with an oversized coat of the same shade.

He should’ve gone for a brighter palette. She always seemed to enjoy wearing those pastel hues that reminded him of spring.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and tipped his head back. Hana did feel like the blooming season.

He feels a tingle on his forehead and he squints one eye open and the night sky was now filled with splatters of snowflakes. Another one melts on his cheek. 

Snow in his life had changed after he met Hana. It meant a promise that they were going to be together.

So Baekhyun doesn’t shield himself from it anymore and fully gives himself to it every time it snowed.

He sensed there was someone before he saw her. 

The heavy breathing that belonged to her made his head fall and he turns his head to the side.

Hana was standing before him. 

A couple of feet away but she was there. And his heart gives a painful squeeze as he unconsciously holds his breath.

Her hair was shorter and it looked that beneath the layers of her clothes that she has lost some weight. But what struck him the most was the way she looked at him. A flash of relief shoved by emotions that Baekhyun recognizes as something deeper than sadness and similar to anger.

Were his own emotions conflicted on his face as well? How he badly missed her, that he had spent the rest of those locked nights if not dreaming, thinking about her? 

How badly he wanted to hold her in his arms?

After four years, Baekhyun finally met Hana. 

———————

“Hana..” He mouthes gently.

And all she can think of was that she missed his voice. 

But the moment he takes a step forward, she steps one away, gasping in the air. She blinks away the haze that frozen her body and hangs her head down as she feels the tears threatening to fall. 

Her hand curls into fists. 

She should have known. Hana should have guessed from the fact that Chanyeol was taking the first day off in years. The fact that Sehun was coming back from Paris for the first time since he had left. 

She should have guessed the moment she woke up and everything had felt right for the first time in a while.

She dreamed of him awfully a lot, when she was awake and when she was asleep. Because that what he had left her.

But now there he was. And she couldn’t help but to feel all the yearning swirling in a hurricane of heartbreak and bitterness. Hana had pictured this day a thousand times.

And because they were fragments of her own imagination, most of them ended with him in her arms and none of them ended with all this pain resurfacing.

Hana looks back up, sparing him one last glance before turning around on her heels.

“Hana.” 

He called, but she begged her legs to walk. She forced them to even when they wanted to run back to him.

“Hana.. wait,”

She accelerates her speed once she feels him chasing behind her, calling her name desperately that sounded so heavenly painful upon his lips.

He grabs her wrist and Hana’s free hand connects with his jaw the instant he whirls her around. 

The Baekhyun she knows would have seen her swing coming, he would have dodged but he let her have it her way. 

But that didn’t bury the anger down.

Her knuckles. Her eyes. Her heart. Everything hurt the more she looked at him. The more she fought against her will.

His grip only loosens and he returns his hand to his side. Baekhyun looked pained as he stared at her but not physically, though his lip was cut and blood seeped out and Hana restrained herself from showing any concern towards him.

He didn’t deserve her kindness. D-Did he?

“W-Why...?” Hana stuttered. 

There were so many questions inside her, each fighting its way to being voiced out to be answered after all those years. 

“You could hit me all you want.”

She looks away with a scoff, the tears pooling her vision before she forces her gaze back to him.

“Was it enjoyable leaving me behind?” Her lips shivered as she spoke and a sob catches in , remembering all those times where she felt pathetic. “Reading all the letters I wrote desperately for a reply?”

Baekhyun’s gaze hardens, he inches closer and something inside her tremble. “Never.”

Hana closes her eyes in exhaustion. 

“Then why? Huh?” Hana looks away. “I told you... I told you I wanted to be with you.”

Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “I——“ 

Her phone’s ring interrupts him and it takes her a minute before she looks away from him and pulls her phone out of her bag to find Eunbi’s calling. 

Hana sighs, contemplating whether to reply or not. She glances at Baekhyun, who forces his sights away.

She picks up. “H-Hello... Ah, right..” 

Hana had completely forgotten that she was running late for dinner. But she doesn’t even have the energy to force herself to sit through a half-hour of people she wasn’t friends with.

“I... I don’t think I can make it, Eunbi. I am feeling a little bit unwell, I will pass.” Hana hung up quickly before Eunbi tries to talk her into it and sighs as she pulls the phone down.

She rubs her eyes, brushing the tears away with the end of her sleeves. 

There must be a reason. That what she believed all these years. What she kept telling herself. 

Baekhyun always had a reason.

But she had to admit something she didn’t in the past years he wasn’t there. She was tired and overwhelmed. And all she could feel was the taste of the memories and the love he crushed when he decided to let go. 

Tired, she sighed. “I am glad you are out, Baekhyun. Goodnight.”

“Hana—“ She steps out of his reach and holds his stare for a long minute.

“I don’t want to see you. Not now...” The look in his eyes made her weak and she felt she would break down in front of him if she stood there any longer. 

“Please.” Her plead turns into a choked whimper.

He stays still for a long minute before his eyes flatter and slowly, he retreats. 

“Goodnight, Hana.”