The morning felt different.

 Hana thought as she fluttered her eyes open and stared at the ceiling for what maybe was too long. She tiredly shifts her gaze to the window and though it was past five in the morning, the night still hasn’t faded away. 

She wasn’t ready to get out of her bed yet and her clock assured her she has twenty more minutes. She leaned on her side and watched the shades turn very slowly into brighter hues before she found herself dozing off again until the actual time to get up rang with her alarm.

Clicking the side button of her phone on the table, the loud alarm switches off and with a groan, she leaves the comfort and the warmness of her blankets to drag herself to the bathroom.

Sometime after Hana started working in a childcare center, for the purpose to clear her schedule and study more, her morning had developed into what had become a routine. She would be up from bed by five-thirty, have a shower, and dress up before heading out to the kitchen.

She slipped leggings underneath a pastel yellow midi skirt, tucked a white turtleneck, and layered it over with a faded-pink colored cardigan over it. It was below zero and there was no chance she was playing against the weather with the sun partially there. 

She brushes her hair quickly as she eyes it in the mirror. It had gotten longer as it reached a little below her shoulders and with a sigh, she shifts her sight away, making a reminder to book an appointment for a haircut.

Hana stepped out of her bedroom to find few boxes stacked up in the threshold of the front door across from their— well, now her living room. 

To her surprise, Soo Ha was standing behind the counter, sipping from her mug as she flipped through a magazine which Hana knew she had gone through hundred times since she bought it two days ago. Her brand was advertised in it by some worldwide celebrity Hana didn’t recognize. 

“Oh, you are here.” Mouthed Hana as she hopped over the stool across from Soo Ha and poured coffee from the pot on her mug, adding sugar, creamer and milk before it was edible. And Soo Ha was past the point to give her a judgmental look at her preference of coffee, which to Hana was completely good.

“Morning. I came to pack few last things.” Soo Ha places down the magazine (Specifically open at the other photoshoot page of models holding her bag in impossible fashionable poses) with a proud smile and a satisfied sigh. 

Hana hummed as she rested her chin on her palm and her gaze fell on the ajar door of Soo Ha’s almost empty bedroom. 

She pushed down the urge to get up and close the door and turned back to Soo Ha.

“Do you really have to leave?”

“Of course,” Soo Ha scoffed. “I own a house now.”

Hana rolls her eyes at her five-years roommate, who ignored her childish whining. 

“So getting married isn’t the main reason you leaving?”

“Oh... “ She gives her shoulders an unbothered lift. “Yeah, that too.”

Soo Ha and her fiancé, a neurosurgeon named Haewon, have been planning their wedding for a while, well it was mostly him that did the planning, and they were getting married in less than two weeks and Hana didn’t enjoy the fact that she would be living alone until she finds a new roommate. The whole idea of getting used to a stranger again made her anxious. 

She had her grandma in mind, though it would take a lot of convincing for her to leave the countryside and manage her franchise from Seoul and she doubted that would even work. Her grandma had grown to be Hana’s tears-resistant. 

Maybe she should move out to a smaller apartment, instead. All alone. Or maybe she should move back to the countryside for a while. 

Hana shakes the thought internally. Though it wasn’t the first time it had settled in her mind. 

“I feel sorry for him,” Hana joked after taking a sip from her cup, referring to her fiancé. He was indeed was one of the sweetest souls Hana to ever meet.

“Yaa!” Soo Ha glared at her. “He is lucky to have me in his life.”

Though Hana doesn’t confirm it out loud, it was true. 

Soo Ha was a nice person once you actually get to know her better. Well, not as in - nice personality- cause Soo Ha in that aspect is far the opposite, but as nice to have around. Obviously, that was when she didn’t hate you.

Everything seemed not a big deal if she said so. She was intimidating but puts you in ease if you have her on your side. 

Yeah, Hana nodded to herself, she has that kind of power.

“Speaking of whom, he is waiting outside, since my car is at the company. We can drop you off, hm?” Soo Ha suggested.

A warm car ride would have been wonderful. But Hana shakes her head softly. “Nah, I am good.” 

She and Haewon were both individually awkward, plus Hana doesn’t enjoy being a third-wheel, though she has been for the past years since Eunbi and Soo Ha started dating.

Plus bus rides were comfortable, especially those in the early morning.

Soo Ha stares at her for a long minute and Hana has to add, reassuringly. “I will be fine. For real.” 

But it was that time of the year. When everyone is hard to convince. When it gets so cold that everyone was worried about Hana and thought she needed much care in case she forgot her meals and stayed on her bed for too long, which happened years ago but her family doesn’t seem to let it go.

Hana was fine. She is.

Soo Ha nodded hesitantly. “Well.. see you later.”

Hana pulls a smile up. “Bye-bye.”

Soo Ha leaves her cup at the sink and grabs both her purse and jacket before heading out. Leaving Hana alone with her with the mild warm coffee. She whirls the seat over to stare at the view the windows of their living room allowed.

The city looked heavy. Like something might happen if she stared any longer. The sun hid behind a bunch of gloomy clouds, peeking out every few seconds. 

It was nothing but winter, Hana thought to herself. It was meant to fill this lonely.

She gets up with a sigh and downs her now cold drink in one gulp then heads towards the door. 

Grabbing her coat and slipping her loafers on, Hana heads out.

—————————

Eunwoo was always early, Hana noted after being friends with him for the past years. 

As long as it was during his lunch break. 

Other than that, he was always unavailable. 

So it was no surprise when Hana found him already ordering their usual lunch for both of them as she stepped into the small tucked and friendly restaurant. 

“Hey.” Hana slides on the chair across from him, placing her coat and bag on the one next to her.

“Oh, hi.” He doesn’t bother to lift his eyes as they were glued on his screen with interest. “It says it might heavily snow today.” 

Hana gazes outsides momentarily and offers a thoughtful hum.

He places his phone on the table. “Make sure to head home after work to avoid it.” 

He reminded her of when they first met. Their friendship didn’t begin exactly as a friendship. 

When the arrest was announced and their case was publicized. Hana and her grandma had became known nationwide. 

And that didn’t exclude the underground.  Precautions were taken, and the police station offered security till everything calmed down. And from the alternating officers and detectives, she grew unexpectedly closer to Eunwoo. Despite his blunt and honest replies that later on grew on her.

“I can’t. I have a reunion dinner later tonight. With Eunbi and other people from university as well.”

Other people included Eunbi’s old classmates and other majors that Hana doesn’t know. She didn’t want to go but Eunbi swore that this is going to be the last dinner she would force her to.

Hana knew it wasn’t. Eunbi usually doesn’t insist if Hana declined group dinners and stuff anymore. But again, it was that time of year. And it was hard to refuse when Hana knew Eunbi only meant well.

With a sigh, she raises her eyes to see Eunwoo had been contemplating her for a long minute. 

“What?”

“I don’t know,” He leans back, crossing his arms over his chest. “You seem off.”

The waiter interrupts the conversation, placing down the dishes of their hot noodles and sodas, with steaming bean buns on the side. They thank him before he walks away.

“It’s nothing.” Hana leans forwards, taking two pairs of chopsticks from the holder and hands one over. “Just a little tired.”

“Are you still staying up late? Studying?”

Hana nods. “Some days.” 

She shoves a bite into . She had been preparing to apply for a doctorate in psychology to become a clinical psychologist. That what Kyungsoo did. Or maybe she would apply for a Ph.D. 

There were still many options and she still wasn’t sure what she was going to do with the rest of her life but she reminded herself every now and then that she still have time to figure it out.

For now, working in the daycare has lightened her life a little bit. In every possible way.

Eunwoo observes for a long minute before he starts eating as well. “Yuna miss you back in the precinct. Everyone does. Also, the one they hired instead of you is really annoying.”

Hana let out a chuckle. Yuna had told her about Jun, who filled in after she quit her job as a probation officer. She said he was talkative, like none-stop chatter, and both Eunwoo and the Captain couldn’t stand him.

“He will grow on you, don’t worry.”

Eunwoo stops and throws a her glare before resuming eating.

“Oh, right! Did you decide what are you going to do with your annual leave?” Hana asked, wanting to change the subject off of her but she also was curious.

What did Eunwoo usually do in his off-days? On holidays? Did he even take sick leaves?

The answer to all of them remains unknown. Despite Hana knowing him for four years now.

“Not yet. Probably working on some cases at home.”

Hana gapes at him. How could he work nonstop? 

A thought suddenly infiltrates her mind. Eunwoo reminded her of him.

He, too, used to immerse himself in work of whatever type all the time. The bad and the good.

Hana shakes her head slightly and focuses on her food. 

“You know I have a plus one for the wedding. How about it? A weekend on Jeju? You can bring Yuna as well.” 

She shudders internally at the word Jeju. It meant an island. Where they have to take a plane. Suspended in the air.

She shakes her head, forcing this thought away too before nausea takes over.

“Soo Ha told me she reserved the whole , so I can convince her to bring few guests with me.” She adds, praying to lure Eunwoo in accepting her invitation.

He pauses. "First of all, why would I bring Yuna?" He rolls his eyes, flustered.

Hana gives an innocent shrug.

“Second of all, I don’t think Soo Ha likes me.”

Hana groaned. “That’s because you keep saying you are going to get her into investigation.”

His gazes harden and his bites step midway to his lips. “I do believe she had some activities in her father’s gang.”

Hana rolled her eyes. “You know what? I am not even going to go there today.”

Hana had grown on the fact to defend her friend’s past, even when she knew that Soo Ha was in fact in her family’s gang. She doesn’t know what she did, what crimes she committed. Maybe she didn’t at all. Hana was told that Soo Ha left the gang because she didn’t like the work. So maybe Soo Ha never participated in all of what Eunwoo assuming.

And Hana never asked Soo Ha about her past, despite knowing that the latter would surely tell her about it all.

But sometimes, ignorance is bliss. And Hana would like to believe whatever possibility she enjoyed. And even if his assumptions were right, Hana wasn’t sure she would change her mind about standing for her friend, even when that friend didn’t need her help.

“Okay, fine.” He gives in.

Hana faces beams. “You are coming?”

She knew Eunbi would be there. But having a friend who only knows you there, makes you feel safe that there will be always someone to sit next to.

“I will think about it.” He swallows a bite. “I am still leaning towards sneaking cases out of the precinct and working from home.”

The corner of her lips drops and Hana groans.

—————————

Hana lets a long sigh and watches as it fogs the window of the taxi. 

Leaning her head against the cool glass, Hana wondered quietly how the dinner will go. 

Will Kyungsoo attend? Chanyeol? She doubted. They barely attended dinners and parties after what happened years ago. But Eunbi also told her Sehun had flown back in so maybe they will be meeting sometime. 

It was a little before eight, she noted as she glanced at the strapped wristwatch before returning her eyes to the road. 

The restaurant’s location was awfully chosen if Hana had to remark. But Eunbi would have asked about the reason if Hana told her to suggests another one when she was normally fine with anything. 

She holds her breath as the taxi made a U-turn and the lit park came into her view. 

Hana had avoided all the places that reminded her of him over the years. They existed, but she had grown to act like they weren’t.

Before Hana tears her eyes away, she spots a figure inside the park and her breath hitches inside .

“Stop!” She half-screamed.

The cab halts to a sudden side stop and she strains her widened eyes at the back windshield, afraid he will disappear if she tore her sight away. The figure was standing near a bench and in yet another familiar place.

She swallows a lump down and unclips her cross-body bag, forcing her trembling hands to bring out her wallet, and hurriedly hands over whatever cash she has.

“Thank you!” 

She pulls the door open and hurries outside, leaving the driver calling after for the change but she doesn’t comprehend anything except begging her legs to run faster as she passed through the entrance's gates.

What if he wasn’t him? What if it was the coldness playing pranks on her? Fatigue had finally overtaken over her mind from all those restless years?

She takes a turn then comes to a stop. Hana lets out a shaky breath among the desperate gasps for air, hazing her vision, but the guy before her reappears back in her sight. 

He was busy gazing at the the snow as it started to fell upon him, surrendering himself to it. His hair pushed backward to reveal an undercut he didn’t have before as he stood in his usual color of clothes, black, his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat.

So quiet and peaceful for a soul that brought chaos into her own life.

And for a person who made her smile and cry, he was awfully beautiful.

It was him, Hana’s mind foamed, or was it a hallucination? She closes her eyes and softly shakes her head before squinting one open, afraid that the remnants of her sanity were finally gone and he will evaporate into thin air before her eyes.

His soft gaze was no longer at the sky but on her. And the second she fully flatters her eyes open and they meet his, Hana’s heart drops to the ground.

Byun Baekhyun was steps away. He was steps away but he was there. 

He was here.