“No, I don’t wanna sleep…” Hyukjae complains as he’s being shoved gently towards the direction of the bedroom. “One more game… Just one more game…”

“Nuh uh,” Jongwoon says as he continues to push his roommate from the back. “You’re already beat and we still have classes tomorrow. It’s bedtime for you now, mister.”

“Stop it, you’re sounding like my mom,” Hyukjae whines, but he doesn’t make a move to resist, doesn’t even complain when Jongwoon gently guides him to his bed and tucks him under the blankets like a little kid.

Seeing Hyukjae’s features going slack, his eyelids droopy and heavy as he seems to be in front of the door to dreamland already, Jongwoon can’t help but chuckle.

“Good night, little anchovy~” he croons teasingly.

Hyukjae makes a small groan, apparently too sleepy to even register his words. His breathing is slowly becoming deep and even.

In a sudden fit of courage, Jongwoon adds slowly, fondly, “You’re a pain sometimes… but I still love you. Good night.”

Jongwoon pats his head, then turns off the lamp on the bedside table. But before he can even walk away, Hyukjae’s surprisingly awake voice interrupts his attempted departure and turns his blood into ice.

“What did you say?”

Jongwoon freezes. “I… I thought you were asleep,” he stammers, his brain short-circuiting at the realization that Hyukjae heard his impulsive confession.

Because he turned off the lamp, the only source of illumination in the room is the moonlight gleaming from the open window. As the glow momentarily shines upon Hyukjae’s face when the breeze moves the curtains, Jongwoon can see that Hyukjae is staring at him in disbelief.

Is he disgusted…? Jongwoon’s panic-ridden mind echoes in his head. Will he feel awkward with me from now on…? God, I shouldn’t have said that…!

“H—Hyukjae-ya…” Jongwoon stammers as he tries to find the right words to explain. “I—It isn’t what you think—”

“What exactly did you mean?” Hyukjae’s low voice seems to fill the room.

Jongwoon gulps, fingers trembling as he explains, “I meant… I meant as a friend… th—that kind of love…”

There’s a beat of silence.

Then Hyukjae speaks up in a quiet voice. “Oh… really?”

Jongwoon nods fervently, heart soaring when he recognizes a way out of this awkward situation. “Y—Yeah, really!”

Another beat of silence. The room is so quiet, Jongwoon feels like he can hear a pin drop in the darkness. He can hear the resonating sounds of a drum, too—

Oh, wait. No.

It’s just his own heartbeat thundering in his chest.

“You…” Hyukjae suddenly says, and Jongwoon snaps back into attention. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”

“H—Huh?”

“You keep stammering and you can’t even look at me straight.” Is it just his imagination, or does Hyukjae’s voice seem to be getting closer? The room is so dim, Jongwoon can barely even make out the bed’s outline. “And you never stammer, hyung.”

Jongwoon feels like he has forgotten how to breathe. “I…” His voice trails off. He doesn’t know what to say. He isn’t prepared for this kind of situation.

God, someone please take me away from here… Jongwoon pleads inside his head.

“Are you uncomfortable right now?” Hyukjae asks bluntly which only adds to Jongwoon’s internal stress.

I really need to end this now and think about the consequences later, Jongwoon finally decides. Taking a deep breath, he answers, “No. Good night, Hyukjae. Let’s talk about this in the morning, okay?”

Jongwoon attempts to leave for the second time when Hyukjae’s voice interrupts him. Again.

“Why are you avoiding the topic, hyung?”

God, so stubborn, Jongwoon thinks inside his head as he tries to calm himself down. Then again, Hyukjae has always been a very curious and straightforward person. Jongwoon should’ve seen this coming the moment he made that slip-up. It’s his own fault in the first place.

“No, I’m not. Just… I’m tired, Hyukjae. We still have morning classes tomorrow,” Jongwoon explains as calmly as he can. “Can’t it wait?”

“No.”

“That’s ri — wait, no?” Jongwoon blinks.

“No,” Hyukjae repeats, and there’s a serious note to his voice that makes Jongwoon shiver. “I need to know. I have to know.” There’s a sound of shuffling on the bed; it seems that Hyukjae is now sitting up against the headboard. “Tell me, hyung.”

Jongwoon’s muscles tense, and his fear begins to mount. “Tell you what…?” he croaks out.

“Tell me what you really feel,” Hyukjae responds, his voice now considerably softer. “I want to know what you’re thinking.”

“But… why?” Jongwoon is so confused.

“Because,” Hyukjae says slowly, “you have no idea how much you drive me crazy.”

Silence. The only sound Jongwoon can hear is the rapid beating of his heart. This must be a dream, he thinks to himself.

“You have no idea how much I think about you every day, how many times I wished you would look my way, but you never did.” There’s a wistful tone to Hyukjae’s voice that twists Jongwoon’s heart. “You have no idea how I’ve always dreamed of the day you’d suddenly tell me you love me, and now…”

Jongwoon’s hands unconsciously clench into fists as he listens to Hyukjae in awe. His mind is blank, and his tongue is frozen. It’s all happening too fast for him to comprehend.

“And now…” Hyukjae continues on with a crack in his voice. “I don’t know… but… hearing you say that earlier, even though you may have meant it differently… I was happy.”

A knot forms in Jongwoon’s throat.

“I was happy. I was soaring. I was tired, but it woke me up right away... Ahaha, this is so cheesy,” Hyukjae muses, laughing in embarrassment. “Sorry…”

Another knot forms in Jongwoon’s stomach, and all functions in his body seem to cease.

...I have to tell him.

Should I tell him?

I…

I really, really want… to tell him…

Jongwoon gulps.

But I… I suddenly feel scared…

“Hah… what’s wrong with me? I’m really making you feel uncomfortable, right?” Hyukjae sighs, his voice becoming quieter. “Sorry. If my feelings are making it awkward for you, hyung, then please forget about it… I won’t mind.”

Jongwoon finally finds the strength to speak. “...What?”

“You can—”

“I heard you the first time,” Jongwoon interrupts strongly, and when Hyukjae stares at him, his surroundings are suddenly illuminated by a warm, orange glow. It takes him a moment to realize that Jongwoon has the lamp.

It takes him another moment to register Jongwoon’s arms around him, lifting him effortlessly into the air.

“H—Hey…!” Hyukjae cries out in alarm, grabbing onto Jongwoon’s neck for dear life as the latter starts walking somewhere. “Hyung?! Where are you taking me??”

A door opens and Hyukjae’s eyes go wide.

The balcony…?!

Hyukjae watches in awe as the night sky is suddenly displayed before him, the dark expanse sprayed with numerous stars. The crescent moon hangs high along with a few clouds, but it is otherwise quite a clear, vivid night where all they can hear are the quiet sounds of crickets and the motion of the chilly breeze greeting their bare skin.

“A—Aren’t you gonna put me down…?” Hyukjae asks meekly, heart racing at the sight of Jongwoon staring up at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Suddenly, Hyukjae feels very self-conscious, especially with the way Jongwoon’s intense gaze has been fixed on him for a few minutes now without saying a single word.

“Hyukjae-ya.” Jongwoon’s deep voice snaps him out of his reverie, suddenly breaking the silence between them. “Do you want to know?”

Hyukjae swallows, and he is acutely aware of the fact that he is practically clinging onto Jongwoon in fear of falling. “D—Do I want to know what…?”

“Do you want to know what I’m thinking about right now?”

Still dazed and confused, Hyukjae manages a nod.

There’s a small smile on Jongwoon’s face.

“I love you.”

Hyukjae’s heart skips a beat. “Y—Yeah, as a friend, you told me…”

“I think about you each day, too,” Jongwoon suddenly confesses, eyes softening as a faint smile continues to play on his lips. “If only you know how many times I wished for you to look my way… to give me more of your attention, but then, after your words, I realized…” He lets out an amused chuckle. “I realized that we’ve both been looking at each other, after all.”

We just never caught each other doing the same.

At that moment, Jongwoon slides his hands upward until they reach Hyukjae’s waist, causing the latter to squeak in surprise when he feels himself being lowered just enough for the top of Jongwoon’s head to come in line with his chin. Swallowing, Hyukjae reflexively wraps his legs around Jongwoon’s waist while his arms relax and cling to the older’s neck more comfortably.

“We… We have…?” Hyukjae says in a small voice.

Jongwoon nods, and a beautiful smile lights his face.

“D—Does that mean you…?”

Jongwoon nods again. “I’m sorry for denying it earlier. I… I was just scared, but… the truth is, the more I listened to your voice back there…” Jongwoon’s face moves closer. “...the more I realized that I wasn’t the only one who was scared of confessing.”

Hyukjae’s face moves closer, too. “You’re such a romantic. You know that, right?”

Jongwoon leans forward until their noses touch. “Coming from the one who confessed their true feelings first, it’s an honor.”

Hyukjae tilts his head and aims for Jongwoon’s lips. “If you didn’t slip up earlier, we wouldn’t be in this kind of position right now.”

Jongwoon locks gazes with him. “Well, this is possibly one of the greatest moments in my life that I won’t ever regret.”

Hyukjae growls. “Just stop talking already and kiss me.”

Jongwoon laughs. “So you’re a bossy kind of boyfriend. I see.”

“Deal with it. You already confessed to me, so there’s no going back now.”

The sound of their laughter is still in the air even when their lips connect.