Yanking her eyes away from the phone, Xueer scans the airport in search of her ex. Noticing the taller girl is no longer at the table, Xueer can’t help but feel disappointed that Jiaqi hadn’t even noticed her. The sounds of people walking and talking become a loud hum in Xueer's ears. The towering ceiling was high enough to make Xueer dizzy. Deciding to get some air, Xueer gently stretched her tired limbs before walking past towards a door leaning outside. 

The rain outside has slowed to a gentle mist, and the lights off the tarmac dance across the small particles of water. The general mist and the warm light radiating off the lamps reminded Jiaqi of the night she tried to drink herself away. 

/

“Okay, Kiki you have 5 AM–8 AM practice, 8 AM–10 AM photoshoot, 10 AM–12PM, 12 PM - 1 filming session, 1 PM–3 PM recording session, and 3 PM–5 PM group practice.”

Jisoo carefully went through the schedule from corporate as she paced around the dance studio. Over the last few weeks, Jiaqi started competing with her dance team and performing at different showcases across China. 

/

“Okay, Xueer, tilt your head to look at Xukun. Good.. now look like you’re deeply in love.” The photographer has been nitpicking at every detail of this photo shoot for the last few hours. Xueer let out a tired exhale before leaning closer to Xukun. The photoshoot with Xukun was required by the company to send to the tabloids. After the three photoshoots and several interviews with Xukun, she learns that he’s secretly getting a well-known idol but has to hide it from the public. 

/

“Xueer, she’s amazing. One day I want to start my own company and not have to worry about dating bans.” Xueer can’t help giving a nod in sympathy as Xukun rants about his girlfriend. Listening to Xukun talk about his girlfriend reminded her of the shattered relationship she was forced to leave behind.

Xueer wasn't blind; she had seen Jiaqi's company release images of her dating another famous dancer. “I need more lighting on stage three; their black clothing keeps eating all the light!” Xueer knows internally she looks good in her black dress, but she can't help feeling like she's attending her funeral. The photographs looked wonderful, but to a trained eye, Xueer knew her smile didn't meet her eyes. 

I wish he was Xu Jiaqi. 

/

“Kong Xueer, go home; you look exhausted.” Joey began doting on her as soon as she finished her shift at the café.

Xueer meekly nodded as she began untying her work apron with trembling hands, only to end up tightening it. Xueer's doe eyes could only search for Joey in hopes of grounding herself before her walls crumbled. Seeing the glassy eyes staring at her, Joey gave her a comforting smile, slowly guided Xueer to a seated position, and began to gently undo the knotted uniapron while slowly brushing some of the flour out of Xueer's hair. 

“You still miss her, don’t you?” Xueer didn't respond, but the way her shoulders were shaking told Joey enough to pull the younger girl into a tight hug. 

/

"Night Jisoo! See you tomorrow!" Jiaqi yelled while walking out of the studio for the night. 

Free from her daily practice schedule, Jiaqi puts on her dark green face mask. Looping the elastic around her ears, Jiaqi finally lets her face crumble into agony. Hoping to swaddle her emotions behind her coat, Jiaqi tugged her jacket tighter around herself. 

The sting of hurt caught up to her, and the tabloids had been posting constantly about Xueer and Xukun's new relationship. She's moved on so quickly; what if Xueer never loved me?

She used to look at me that way. 

The noises in her head were too loud; Jiaqi decided a drink would silence them. The rumbling of thunder in the distance stopped the voices for a moment before they started again. Jiaqi knew

/

Jiaqi shuffled into a nearby bar; it wasn't a fancy place, but it was warm. Some of the light fixtures were in desperate need of new light bulbs. The walls had seen better days; their colors were no longer vibrant; they were now a muted color of what they once were. She knew drinking was never an answer to her problems, and it would only dampen the hurt until the effects wore off, but it hurt her too much to think logically. 

Peeling off her wet jacket, Jiaqi slumps heavily into a seat, waiting for someone to come and get her drinks. Jiaqi ignores the graffiti on the table that mocks her as it reminisces about a love-sick couple. She couldn't help but trace the letters with her finger. 

C+J  

Jiaqi couldn't help but let out a dark snort. The taunting memories linger like a melody and no matter how much she wanted to be angry and hate Xueer, she couldn't. Jiaqi couldn't help but feel like her decision had been robed from her and could only wish Xueer had stayed. Glacing out the window Jiaqi watched as the night became darker and longer than before. 

/

"No, one who care about mee" very flushed Jiaqi whines as she continues to drink another bottle of vodka. A luster of bottles was slowly growing at the corner of the table, arranged in a pattern that resembled a triangle. Jiaqi, even in her intoxicated state, was still a perfectionist Virgo at heart. 

/

"Hey, Jisoo... I'm; it's Chae. I was getting a drink at that old bar we used to go to, and I saw Jiaqi drinking like her life depended on it."Chaeyoung tries to massage her forehead while wearily glancing over at a very drunk Jiaqi. Jisoo was surprised at Chaeyoung's call but was even more surprised to hear about Jiaqi's drinking. Especially since Jiaqi's been working around the clock for the international dance team and the company and had some ungodly hours for schedules. 

"Thanks, Chae, I owe you one."

/

Jisoo can't help but let out a tired sigh, Chae helped get Jiaqi into the car before heading home herself. The car ride to Jiaqi's apartment was long, and Jisoo's heart hurt with every passing street light. With every passing minute, Jiaqi slurred out the same words, sounding like a broken record. Stopping at the red beacon cutting through the misty haze, Jisoo glanced over at a semi-conscious Jiaqi. 

"Xueer...can’tttbelief you're mygirlfrienddd...willyou go out with me, I love you." Jisoo didn't have the heart to tell the drunk Jiaqi that she and Xueer were forced to break up because of the company policies.

"Xueer loves you too, Jiaqi; we're going to see her soon." Jisoo relaxed a little when drunk. Jiaqi seemed comforted by the promise of seeing Xueer and gently drifted into a sleepless slumber in the passenger seat. 

/ 

Finally getting Jiaqi into her bedroom, Jisoo gently tucked her in before gathering hangover remedies and leaving them on her bedside. 

"I'm sorry, they did this to you." Giving Jiaqi's hand a quick squeeze, Jisoo gently placed a kiss on her forehead and headed to the living room. Only to sprawl out on Jiaqi's couch and let the adventures of the day wash over her like waves across the sand.

Knowing that Jiaqi was safe offered Jisoo some comfort, aside from Jiaqi missing Xueer. Jisoo couldn't help but think about Chae.

Is she dating again? What if we didn't break up? What if we stayed in touch with Lisa and Jennie? Would we have been able to stay together? 

Jisoo tiredly tugged at the worn-out blanket with a fox on it that hangs over the back of the couch. In a moment of fake bravado, Jisoo grabs her phone and types a message to Chae.