Miss Qiaolian continued to tirelessly transcribe the chemical compositions from her brown and old notebook to the blackboard while all her students, including me, tried to copy the diagrams in time. We all knew that if the bell rang and she was done with her job, she would start erasing it all and no one would have her notes complete, which would make my study a hundred percent more difficult.

It's not that I hate Chemistry; in fact, this is my second favorite subject, right after the English. But there were not many sources of knowledge for people like me other than what the school provided and our big test would come after the winter holidays, when the city library would be closed until early spring.

"," I murmured to myself, putting a dash in the wrong word to rewrite it next to it and avoid using the concealer. It was pure luck that the lunch bell rang in the exact second I finished the text.

Pure, pure lucky.

"Hey," Yerim called. She was sitting at the desk behind me, but her voice came very close to my ear and I didn't need to look to know that her body was strangely contorted over me. "Have you managed to find the location of the factory?"

She referred to the Tindle Winkle Toy Factory that Haseul had pointed out four days ago as my next target, in the night I had to make Yerim occupy Hyejoo and Yeojin at the pharmacy long enough for me to get all the information from her and get her off our feet before Hye noticed anything. Which worked well, actually. But, unfortunately, my Computer teacher, Mr. Stephen, had missed class this morning, preventing me from printing the map of the roads around the city and further delaying my task.

"Not yet," I replied. "Only tomorrow."

"Okay," and she started to collect the materials scattered on her desk. She had always been the messiest at the time I could never stand to see anything of mine where it shouldn't be.

Something that made me angry about Yerim was that, even though she insisted on that ridiculous 'We are together' speech and bringing up 'Kim Lip and Cherry' every time I tried to convince her to give up on this idiocy, she kept showing her resistance to the orders from Haseul's — whoever it is — and did not miss the chance to prick. One more of those and she would hear me.

We managed to leave the room avoiding the mountain of clutter that our classmates made around the teacher, trying to ask her to send a few things about the subject by e-mail, but I didn't even stress about it. She had never done this before and I'm sure she wouldn't start now. Besides, I don't even have access to my email outside of school. So it was no big deal for Yerim and I.

We went to the canteen and didn't even believe it when we saw JinSoul, Chaewon and Hyejoo sitting at a table outside the cafeteria. I continued cursing each one of them while watching Choerry open the glass door and fall victim to the countless strange looks, as if asking if she was crazy. I was forced to follow her and untied my jacket from the waist as soon as the extremely low temperature reached my body, even with the two blouses and the two pants I wore.

The remnants of snow were still present on the floor, but the flakes on the tables and benches had already turned to water. Only three of the more than twenty iron circles were occupied, one by Jeon Heejin and her friends — far enough from JinSoul's table — and the other by Irene Bae and her cousin — a tall, new girl who I'm almost sure that was called Joy.

"Girls," Yerim greeted as she sat down, being imitated by me in her gesture; JinSoul by my side, as always.

"You were late today," Chaewon frowned. "Did you have Chemistry?"

"Memorizing our schedules, Park?"

"Don't fill your ego too much, Kim," she replied to my tease. "I'll take that as a yes, by the way."

"Hey," whispered JinSoul, grabbing my hand under the table as Chaewon pushed the tray of food for Yerim and I.

"Hi," I replied, kissing her shoulder, then kissing her cheek, right after. We hadn't had any truly alone moments since our date and I was beginning to notice some insecurity on her towards me, so I tried, in my own way, in my own time, to show some physical affection. "Why are we out here? Have you gone crazy or what?"

"I wanted to see the snow," Hyejoo said in her usual low, husky tone. However, seeming to becoe aware of her actions when she laid eyes on Yerim, who was about to shiver, she took off her thick coat and gave it to my friend, insisting that she put it on. "Sorry, Yeriminie."

"It's okay, Hye," Choerry offered her a gentle smile. "So... Will any of you participate in the Winter Race?"

I rolled my eyes and explained. "She hasn't stopped talking about it since Miss Kim announced the opening of applications in the first period."

"I'm not a fan of racing," said Hyejoo, after shaking her head in understanding. It was a little surprise for me, I admit, because she had an enviable athletic build.

"Yeah, I don't either."

With only Jung JinSol and I left, they looked at me.

"What?"

"Oh, Lippie, come on. It will be fun!" JinSoul tried to convince me.

"I will not run with a testimony in hand on purpose, if that is what you're waiting for! I prefer to sit and watch, thank you."

What the hell was that?! I barely survived the mandatory laps around the court during Physical Education — and only because my grade depended on it —, imagine running I don't know how many kilometers voluntarily just to be able to hold a stupid trophy that won't do any good. Yeah, they better dream about it!

"Well, I'll do it!" Announced the blonde with a big excited smile. "The races are in pairs and Yerim will need one, right?"

"Are you kidding?" She shouted. "It will be awesome, JinSoul! We will definitely win!"

"I don't know, sometimes you choose to be disappointed," I commented.

"I don't know, sometimes you choose to be a bore," Chaewon shot back while looking at me. "If you girls win, I'll buy pizza for everyone!"

"But... wait. Isn't the race on the eve of the Yule Ball?"

We all turned to Hyejoo thanks to her words and, in fact, she was right. The dance was on Saturday and the race on Friday. But I hadn't thought much about either events until that moment. Actually, I hadn't thought about it at all.

Balls and races have never been my thing. I never went to any one, neither did Yerim, since she refused to participate without a pair that was not designed by her head and I was not willing to be her fake girlfriend. Besides, we didn't have any clothes for that. And she wouldn't even have it because the girls, even if she begged for it, wouldn't pay for it. Or so I hopped.

"And what does that have to do with anything we're talking baout?" I asked.

"JinSoul," said Hyejoo, as if the simple name explained everything. "Soul, didn't you say you had to prepare the campaign for the Winter Queen vote?"

JinSoul automatically became embarrassed and changed her expression. Her hand, the one that was glued to mine, squeezed my fingers and she took a deep breath.

"I don't know if I want to compete anymore."

"What?!" Chaewon and Yerim shouted at the same time.

"You can't let Jeon Heejin get the crown for herself!" Added the shorter blonde.

"But it's just that I talked to Lippie these days and... I don't know, I think the crown isn't as important to me as I thought it was," she tried to explain. "It would be a much more memorable night if we all stayed together and did something fun, for example."

She was lying because our conversation had not been 'these days'. The last and only time that Jung JinSol spoke to me about the ball outside on our first day at the Loonaville aquarium; once in the car and once while she showed me around. She was not supposed to have said anything to me, but her mind had gone too far in its line of thought and her chattering went from the blue beta fish to her feeding on the social image that everyone expected her to maintain and how secretly tiring it was becoming.

I wasn't very interested at the time so I chose to ignore it, but now that the subject was of value to me, I could see some usefulness and even significance in it.

Even with the demanding currents of perfection, Jung JinSol had begun to question the oppressive voices in her home, her school and, most importantly, in her head.

"We could spend the night at Saint Olivia's Belvedere," I suggested, watching the faces of the three princesses express themselves confusedly and Yerim's light up.

"I think this is a great idea, Lippie!" Choerry agreed, smiling.

"What is it?"

"Yeah. I don't know it either,” Chaewon claimed, following the tallest blonde's question.

"Are you telling me that you have been living in Loonaville since forever and have never been to Saint Olivia's Belvedere?" They gave me a negative nod together in response. "Damn bourgeois who only spend their holidays traveling..."

"The Saint Olivia's Belvedere is simply the most beautiful place in the city!" Yerim ignored my surly murmur, continuing with her exaggerated show. "There's a playground and a lake that allows you to skate in the winter! It's just above the hills to the north, but it's super worth it!"

We all waited a minute because Yerim had spoken too quickly and Chaewon had to pass the information on to Hyejoo.

"Wait! Is that the place in the postcards of Loonaville?" Asked the brunette. Her attention was already on my roommate's lips waiting for an answer and that's why I didn't respond.

"Yes! It's beautiful, I promise you'll like it. Jungeun used to take me there when we were younger."

"A 'thank you' would have been enough," I pinned, unhappy about my exposure.

"I think it's a good idea," said Chaewon. "We can rent skates at the Wong store and sleep at Hyejoo's house. We're not going back early, anyway."

"Then that's it! Winter Ball at Saint Olivia's Belvedere with the people I like," Yerim's animation seemed to have infected JinSoul. "We'll take some snacks and-"

"Yeojin!" Hyejoo blushed when she realized she had screamed. "I mean, please. Can we take Yeojin? I can take care of her, it won't be a hassle for anyone."

Liking the idea, I replied. "Okay. That little brat is not so boring. She can be included, yes."

"Best high school dance ever!"

Yeah... No one could deny how intensely Yerim had affected our companions with her explosive joy and positivity. Who would've imagined?

+++

"Lippe?" JinSoul called.

We were at the Aquarium now and it must be six forty-four at night — there was little time for us to be released from our activities, thank God. Our task for the day was to clean aquarium number three so that the water from rays and starfish could be renewed. JinSoul had been a little quiet since we arrived there, a little oblivious to what was happening around her, which was far from the custom. She was too chatty, too cheerful. But The Black Parade, My Chemical Romance's album, had been our background music for some time and and only thing that kept me entertained.

If she didn't want to speak, I wouldn't be the one to start a monologue, even though I knew something was going on in that silly little head of hers. But I was not like that — the asking type. Not yet.

"Yes?"

"Hey," she called again, making sure to add some imposition to her tone. She wanted me to look at her and so I did, stopping the movements with the cloth against the glass and reaching her curious eyes. They always delivered their exaggerated thoughts. "I wanted to know…"

Seeing her bite her lower lip, I struggled to force something inside me, whatever it was. I mean, I had cared before, I had taken that step once. How would I do it again?

"You wanted to know..." I encouraged, but sighed when I noticed her momentary shyness and, again, I blamed myself for it.

Was she afraid of my reaction? My answer? Heavens, what should I do? What did she expect from me? I would like her to tell me if that was the case.

Without an answer, I dropped the cloth on the floor and got up lazily; I rubbed my hands on my pants just to ward off the smell of alcohol and approached her. I had stayed with the cleaning of the glass wall, JinSoul with the floor, and she was standing there, her hands firmly holding the handle of the broom that she pressed against the concrete without realizing it; her cheek being mashed by the back of her hand.

Jung JinSol was really, really pretty.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on in there or what?" It was a struggle not to let my words not come out so sour. Still, I could have done better.

"It's just that... I've been thinking..." She continued. "About the ball..."

"If you have changed your mind, we can still talk to the girls. You know, get back to the initial schedule."

"Not! Is not it!" She screamed, embarrassed to realize her euphoria. The shrill speech bothered me, but her face was strangely cute when she blushed. "Sorry, it's just... I don't know. I don't want to cancel our plans, believe me. Spending the night of the dance with you is better than actually being at the dance, but... If we happened to be at the dance, would you..."

"If I would go with you? Is this it?"

"… Yeah," she looked embarrassed to admit it.

"Well," I started. Come on, Jungeun, you have to start from somewhere, I repeated to myself. And when I noticed, my arms were circling her wide hips and covering the blonde's black leggings, moving up to her thin hips, squeezing them with some lightness. I brought her closer to me, causing her to drop the damn broom and let it fall to the floor. My movements were observed; her eyes on me. "It depends. Is this how you had planned to invite me? Because if it is, you would have gone alone."

She didn't like the answer and my shoulders got two slaps. I laughed because, heavens, she was so weak.

"Moron!" A little pout formed in . "Don't even joke with that, Lippie."

"Right. It's not like I'm a joker, anyway,” I sighed. "To be honest, I don't know, JinSoul. I don't like dances. It's not something that would be on my list of things to do before I die, you know?" Her features started to unravel. "But, if you wanted to go with me, I would try to accompany you. Yerim would force me to, I bet."

"Really?" She smiled, her eyes, as always, giving everything away.

What the , why am I thinking like this?

"Yeah, I think so."

"Can I... Can I ask you something else?"

"You're already asking. But yes, I suppose so."

"You... Have you ever had anyone? Romantically speaking? Before me, I mean."

"Are you saying we're romantically together?" My irony makes her face wither. Okay, I got it wrong. No ironies. My bad. "I'm kidding, Soulie."

Her face wrinkled as if she found what she just heard funny. "What did you call me?"

"JinSoul, of course," I played dumb. Where did that cringe nickname come from?! "It's your name!"

"No, you didn't say that," she was almost laughing. Her arms reached my neck and her tongue teased between her smile. That particular gesture was starting to make me nervous.

"Yes, it was. It was exactly what I said! Don't be an ."

"Okay, Lippie," if she hadn't given in, we wouldn't end the discussion anytime soon. "But you didn't answer me."

I took a breath without knowing how to tell her, explain my relationship with Haseul, who had stopped completely in the ual sense some time ago.

"Romantically? No, I never... I never dated or even got close to that," I lied as well as I could, completely terrified by the subject — traumatized is a better word to use. But that wouldn't get in the way of what we're starting, after all, so it wasn't that bad. Not enough, I mad it worse. "There was no emotional involvement."

"So... Have you had other types of relationships?"

I knew she didn't want the answer to that question, but I still answered it. "Yes."

"Okay," JinSoul didn't seem to be upset, but she tried to free herself from me and I pulled her even closer, hugging her. Her warmth mixed with mine and it was funny, I noticed, how she always carried that smell of sea breeze.

"I know I'm not very open about things," she pretended to scratch . "Okay, I'm not open about anything. But if you bring it up, if you ask me what you want to know... Well, I'll try to answer."

Only if, I should have added. If Jung JinSol didn't ask, I wouldn't tell.

The blonde surprised me by pulling her chin off my shoulder and sticking our lips together, too fast to let me predict her actions. "Thank you, Lippie."

It wasn't too bad. And, half an hour later, even with our bodies tired and both crying out for a bath, we decided to spend an hour being heated by the air conditioning of Jung JinSol's car, devouring all the snacks she managed to buy in the machine before the Aquarium closed and talking about whatever her anxious head made her ask me. I knew that the delay would bring me further problems with Grimes — and endless questions from Yerim —, but she didn't need to know that and I wasn't caring enough to rush her. She could talk for hours and I would listen — I would try to, since it was the fairest thing to do considering the help that the mayor's daughter was giving me in terms of unlocking my limits, destroying my walls.

Slow movements, small steps. One thing at a time, in my own time. Still, they were movements. Still, they were steps.

I stayed that night because JinSoul asked me to.