" I've never bothered to ask if she had a stop for lunch, I've never bothered to ask how much she spent on gas, I've never bothered to ask how many lollipops she had for snacks."

 

 

Hello, this is Jo Yuri and this is my story.

 

Last week I finally got my driver’s license just like me and Yena always talked about. Yena has always been so excited about me getting a license.

 

“in the future, you would be the one coming to me”

“I would be your home, that sounds nice isn’t it?”

 

But however today, I drove that two hours long journey to her house, alone. Was I crying? I did. Why? Because Yena wasn’t around?

No, I was crying because I was confused, about how the hell, everything went wrong about me and Yena.

 

“stop it Yuri! Stop it!”

“please…”

“for us, just stop!”

“I’M BEGGING YOU”

 

The road to Yena’s house that took me two hours got me thinking about how Yena never talked about how exhausting her journey to me, her home.

I’ve never bothered to ask her if she had a stop for lunch in the journey, I’ve never bothered to ask her how much she spent on her gas, I’ve never bothered to ask how many lollipops she had for snacks.

I’ve never bothered to ask if she washed her car before she started her journey to me, because her white car was never dirty every time she came, parking in front of my yards.

Let alone, asking her why she brought different dogs every time she came because my cat Yona liked none of her dogs.

 

“Yuri, this is Ganjang!”

“Looks like soy sauce, isn’t it?”

“Yuri, do you know Bibi the singer?”

“no?, well at least meet my own Bibi.”

 

Now that I’m thinking about Yena, I did think of her as a bull before. Forever, forever and forever. Forever is just a word but Yena used to spit her forever to agenda to my face, every day.

 

“I want to be Jo Yuri’s girlfriend, forever”

“I want to listen to your voice, forever”

“I want to talk to you using Busan accent, forever”

“I want to bother your mom in the yard, forever, until she accepts me”

 

Yena, once sitting on the ground of my yard until 2 in the morning, with a candle in a bowl on her head, another candle in a bowl on her left shoulder, another candle in a bowl on her right shoulder.

 

“no, I’m not going anywhere”

“I will stay here, in this yard, forever”

“until Mrs. Jo accept me as her daughter-in-law”

“let this yard be my grave”

 

Glad that mom splashed her and all her candles with water that have been used to wash dishes, because she said forever but today I drive alone past her street 4 times.

Minj00 is kinda tired with me, like, real tired. Tired of hearing how much I miss Yena but I kinda feel sorry for Minjoo too. Because, she’ll never know Yena the way I do.

 

“Yuri, are you okay?”

“You didn’t answer my calls”

“I don’t have anything after school after all”

“that’s why I came to pick you up in school”

“holy , why your lip is kinda blue”

“this is not the lip I used to kiss”

“Yuri..your forehead is burning”

“, hold on”

 

My mom couldn’t really lie, she didn’t know how to, me too. Yena sent me home, screaming for my mom, asking to her to open the door and carried me all the way to my room.

Yena took care of me all evening and it was already 7 and no way, a mother would tell a young girl to drive at night, so I woke up the next day with a little blonde hugging me under the same blanket.

But now, I don’t even use blanket, I don’t like warmth, because warmth feels like Yena, and it hurts more than failing driving test four times. Yena and me weren’t perfect, but I’ve never felt this way for no one.

Yena is probably okay now although I’m completely gone from her life. Guess she didn’t mean what she wrote in that song about me.

 

“someday when we look at each other, we will probably put on a smile”

“since it’s us who will be together until the end”

 

Was it true, when she said, she thought about me when she play the guitar?

 

“is it possible for us to play guitars together on a stage in the future?”

“will we play together?”

“or you will just stare at me playing and humming to my song”

“will your stare be full of loves forever