It's the night before Joohyun's birthday. Of course she still remembered, even four years after their falling out, four years after her move.

As she rustles in her sheets, dim blue light of her phone illuminating her face, Seungwan still types out a birthday wish, sending the text out at midnight. 

It doesn't go through, like always.

Sending her birthday texts was just a habit Seungwan couldn't break, even when she learned that her number was blocked. Before the move, she would always send them right at midnight sharp every year without fail. Joohyun would always be asleep, and Seungwan would be too, soon after. It was still something she knew the girl looked forward to in the morning. Though now, she probably didn't even see them.

With thoughts of her ex best friend on her mind, she lets sleep overtake her, smoothing out her furrowed brow.

With a blink, she's back at the lake. Seungwan hasn't thought of this evening for years, how badly it went, how much she wishes things were different.

She walks through the brush, takes the steps down to the sand that leads up to the dock. Their spot.

Gazing out to the center of the lake, she watches waves emanate in the wake of boats gliding by. She sees the trees surround the water, like a wall that keeps this location hidden away from the outside world. They form the edge of a dome that stretches upward, the sky its lid, clear of clouds, a near translucent blue. The lake, even, was clearer than she remembered, like a body of thick glass extending all the way to the other side. Light shone through to the bottom, bending the way that straws do in glasses of ice water during hot summers. The effect was mundane, but mystical.

Walking to where the sand ended, Seungwan peered over the edge, watching different fish dart by. Their colors overlapped and shifted, a moving painting of the nature surrounding. Rainbow trout, bass, catfish. She wasn't sure if she had the breeds right, actually. She never paid much attention to what was actually caught on those fishing trips with her dad and Joohyun. The two always got too distracted to actually care about fishing, her father the opposite, too attentive to pay attention to what the girls were chatting about.

Seungwan's eyes follow a catfish making its way from the edge of the water to the end of the dock that lengthens before her. As it nears the end, Seungwan sees something pierce the water. Actually, two things, spinning, creating whirlpools above the fish, bubbles rising to the surface, obscuring the previous clarity, replacing it with white clouds of foam. She squints, realizing the pair of spears were legs swirling in the water to generate the eddies that disrupted the fish, scaring it away. 

That's when she notices her.

That long black hair swaying as her legs do in the water, pant legs rolled up, shins speckled with droplets. She looks nearly the same as she did the day that Seungwan last saw her. Those same worn out jeans, the same hair length, the woven cord, a friendship bracelet they had made together in middle school, still wrapped around her left wrist. 

No matter how real this felt then, this must be a dream. She couldn't imagine that the girl would still wear that after all this time. Subconsciously, Seungwan picks at the matching cord on her right arm.

There was another important difference though. She appeared older than Seungwan remembered. Her legs and arms were just an inch longer, not much longer, but enough to be noticeable. Her roughened face, with its slight acne from the terrors that being a teenager wreaked on skin, had smoothened out over time, like a diamond sanded by the tools of an expert jeweler. 

This was definitely a dream, then. She looked much more beautiful than Seungwan remembered.

Seungwan had spent too much time admiring her from a distance. She can't waste a dream like this. She had to talk to her.

So she starts walking down the dock, wood creaking with the waves of the lake, succumbing slightly under the added weight of her footsteps. Her sandals slapped her feet, flip flopping with every step. Too preoccupied with her languid splashing, the girl on the edge of the dock didn't startle at the sounds, didn't whip her head around like she would've in the past. Whether it was blissful or intentional ignorance, she merely continued swinging her legs, churning the water like creating the calmest storm Seungwan had ever seen.

It was better this way. Seungwan didn't think she couldn't face her with what she was about to say. Words that she has needed to tell her for years now, has tried to tell her for years now.

"Joohyun."

She still doesn't turn. But her legs indicate acknowledgement, stopping at the sound of her name. As if to create an atmosphere for silence for Seungwan, the lake appears to still as well, boats silencing their engines, bobbing lightly. The fish are frozen, with no movement but the shine off their scales, almost indistinguishable from the glinting of the sun on the lake's surface.

Propelled by a confidence only an alternate reality could instill, Seungwan continues. "I'm sorry for how I left. I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. I wish I did, but I just didn't want to ruin everything. I suppose it was worse though, waiting until the last minute. I just wanted to spend my last days with you having fun, unburdened by my move.” She sighs after that long-winded sputter, “I know it's not an excuse." 

Seungwan gawks at the planks, looks at the patches of mismatched wood as if there's a message written there for her, something better to say — anything better to say. But of course, there's nothing written there, nothing more for her.

She stops searching for words when Joohyun responds.

"I've long forgiven you, Seungwan."

The younger looks up, confronted by a view of those soft, gentle eyes, the smile that she has missed for all of this time.

Seungwan felt herself tear up, hastily trying to wipe off her tears with her sleeves. Why was this something that could only happen in dreams, being forgiven after so long, when Joohyun hadn't even reached out in years?

"I'm sorry too. For everything I did. I'm sorry for cutting off all contact with you in my anger. I wanted to reach out to you after, but thought that it was too late. I was worried that you had already moved on, stopped missing me."

This is a dream. This has to be. The Joohyun she knew wouldn't apologize for something like this. It was Seungwan in the wrong, wasn't it? Seungwan that changed everything? 

Joohyun turned back to the water, continued kicking aimlessly. "Four years is a long time after all."

Amidst sniffles, Seungwan manages a reply. "Four years may be a long time," Another tear rolls down her cheek, "But it's not nearly long enough for me to forget you."

"Why do you always know what to say?" Joohyun replied, back toward Seungwan. Even without seeing her face, Seungwan could tell that she was smiling as she said that. "Here," the older girl says, patting the empty wood on the space beside her, "Sit next to me."

As if nothing had ever changed between them, Seungwan rolls up her jeans, dipping her feet in the water as she takes the seat beside Joohyun. Her feet hit the lake's surface, toes tickled by the cold.  

Joohyun leans back, resting with her palms pressed against the dock. She looks up at the piercing blue sky, as if only now did she think to marvel at her surroundings, only a second break from the relentless kicking. As she stares, she starts speaking. “I've been dreaming of this day for so long.”

”Really? This is the first time my dream has gone well,” Seungwan responds.

Joohyun laughs. It's less airy than it used to be, feels richer and fuller, like it has aged without Seungwan's presence to witness the changes. Seungwan can't help but think how incredibly detailed her mind was to conjure such a precise view of the present Joohyun, all of the ways that she might've changed since their youth.

”Well, how did you imagine I'd react?” Joohyun asks.

”Less forgiving, I suppose? It has been years, and we hadn't talked at all. Not for my lack of trying, I don't think.”

The older nods solemnly, understanding.

Seungwan moves her legs lightly, watching the fish resume their motion. As she traces the shapes of their patterns in the water, she continues speaking. ”I just sent you a text tonight, actually. Since I'm seeing you now, happy birthday!” She tries to make her tone light, as genuine as possible. She can't help that the statement is still tinged with a hint of sadness.

”Thank you. Birthdays are not much fun without you around anymore, though.”

Seungwan wonders why this Joohyun is so wistful, so lonely. Her smile is no longer as bright as it used to be. Was it her years catching up to her? They weren't that old yet.

The younger leans to her right, nudging Joohyun with her shoulder. “Hey, cheer up! At least I'm here now.” Joohyun's smile widens the slightest bit. “Anyway, you're like 24 now, right?”

Joohyun gave a soft hum in response. This all reminds Seungwan of how she was when they first met, quiet, using words only when necessary. Time does that to people, rewinds progress previously made.

It's no problem. Seungwan would just have to get her to warm up again. How did she do it, all those years back then? Sitting across the lunch table, young Joohyun would never respond to small talk, to playground gossip... so what did they talk about? 

Seungwan bites her lip, struggling to recall the memory. She remembers seeing the girl with books. Straining her brain, she imagines the covers, pictures of trees and water and animals. Joohyun would read them alone at her table, flipping the pages loud enough to dissuade other children from approaching her. Seungwan did though, once, too intrigued in the girl to stop herself. She asked something, something about the books, and Joohyun's small features lit up. 

That's it! She knew what to do. Ask about what she loves. Ask about science.

Trying to segue into the topic, Seungwan decides to start with a surface level question.

"So what have you been doing lately?"

"Nothing really. The same things you might imagine a grad student would be doing." Joohyun looked blankly across the lake, the gentle character of their initial meeting having disappeared.

Not the most enthusiastic response. Dig a little deeper, Seungwan.

"Did you get the internship you've been shooting for? I remember you used to talk about it all the time, how much you wanted to do stem cell research at the lab near the university."

For the first time since she spoke, Joohyun turned to Seungwan. Her eyebrows were raised, her head slanted in that characteristic tilt. "You still remember that?" Joohyun questions, surprise written into her features.

"Of course I did," Seungwan states, matter-of-factly. She pulls up her feet on the dock, toes dripping water off the edge as she rests her chin on her knees. "I'd never forget anything that you loved." 

Seungwan shifts her head to see Joohyun's response. She looks to find those soft eyes again, her brown irises flashing yellow, glinting from the reflection of the sun off the lake. For a second, Seungwan swears she sees that same childlike wonder, same childlike fascination that she did when they first became friends. It was like a new spark flashed between them.

"I did get that internship. I'm glad you asked," The researcher in the making gives a genuine smile. "Right now we're investigating utilizing stem cells to generate a usable supply of clean blood for transfusion. It's going to take years, but if we make this breakthrough it could save countless lives."

Joohyun maintains Seungwan's eye contact as she speaks, though the latter feels like withering under her gaze. Was she always this pretty? Wasn't it unfair that she was only prettier when talking so animatedly about the subject that she loved most? Seungwan was almost too flustered to respond. She still stumbles, though.

"I- It sounds brilliant. I'm proud. I always thought that you'd be able to do great things." 

Joohyun tempered her enthusiasm with humility, shyly replying, "Thank you. That means a lot to me." Almost imperceptibly, Joohyun leaned closer to Seungwan. "What have you been doing? Still on that pre-med track in Canada? Or, wait, are you in med school now?"

"I'm back in Korea now, actually, and yeah, I'm in the medical courses."

"Oh, that's nice," Joohyun paused. Seungwan wondered if Joohyun wanted to ask why she didn't tell her about her return. Joohyun was probably intelligent enough to connect the dots, that Seungwan did tell her in one of those letters she hasn't opened, one of those texts she hasn't read. Instead, Joohyun asks something else. "So how is that going for you?"

"Great, for the most part. I'm doing a lot of clinical work now and the direct interactions with patients is an amazing experience, though tiring and troublesome sometimes." Seungwan smiles thinking of her shifts, caring for patients and consulting more experienced staff. 

Joohyun smiles just as widely. "Sounds like you're doing something you love. I remember how much you would talk about wanting to help others, save lives, things like that."

"Yeah, it's great." Seungwan quiets, pressing her shoulder more firmly against Joohyun's, feeling like she has finally bridged the gap between them. Joohyun leans back against her. "Could be better, though," the younger says, voice small. 

Joohyun still heard, still so attentive. "How so?"

Seungwan lets out an exhale, sighing deeply before giving her honest response.

"I could still have you," Seungwan says, tone nostalgic in the way that was both loving and somber. "I remember the times we used to talk about working together, or at least near each other — find a hospital across from a lab, meet during lunch breaks. I guess that plan got derailed."

The older girl doesn't reply, but she takes her hand and brushes it lightly through Seungwan's hair, just like she used to when Seungwan had her heart broken by her crush, just like she used to when Seungwan failed another math test. Joohyun never needed any words to tell the younger that she was there for her. Even years apart could not change something like that. 

Too bad this was a figment of Seungwan's imagination. Too bad that her mind knew exactly how to create a Joohyun that would pull at her heartstrings.

Seungwan nearly melts at Joohyun's touch, liquidizing in front of her. But she suddenly turns solid, stiffens slightly. She takes another look across the lake, can't seem to find where it ends and where the sky begins. Her eyes water.

"This isn't real, is it?"

Joohyun shakes her head. "I don't know." The ice that had initially lined Joohyun's voice has long thawed, replaced by the warm, mellow tone that Seungwan was used to. She moves her hand from its place on the dock, placing it on top of Seungwan's own as her soothing voice joins the calm breeze about them. "I just know that I've been in this dream before."

Her hands are warm, soft, slightly larger than they were before. Why did they feel so real to Seungwan? How could she feel every callus, every indent, every fingertip her skin like she was actually there?

Perhaps Seungwan remembered these moments too well, had them written into her hands like the muscle memory of playing a favorite song on the guitar. That's what they were always like together, music. 

"Isn't it funny?" Seungwan's voice breaks the silence. 

"What is?"

Seungwan gestures to her surroundings. "That we both used to talk about how much we loved science, pick apart magician's tricks. And now I'm in some sort of strange, possibly magical realm." The fish shift underneath the dock, giving off an otherworldly glint. 

"Who's to say this is not some sort of alternate dimension?"

"If I figured out how to get to one, trust me, I would be rich by now."

Joohyun chuckles, her grin, positively glowing. In that moment, Joohyun seemed to be otherworldly too.

She lets a playful kick skim the surface of the water, watching the drops arch like spilling glass beads, dangling and shimmering in a momentary chandelier, Joohyun, the master craftsman. She speaks amused and lighthearted, "I think that magic is just science we don't understand yet." The drops hit the lake's surface like rain, scattering and sending little ripples in all directions. "After all, there are still everyday miracles we can't explain."

As if responding to Joohyun's statement, the dock starts rumbling, water of the lake churning and sloshing about, slapping the underside of the dock in irregular rhythms. Seungwan and Joohyun both scramble to their feet, hands still clasped together as they run to shore. Hearts racing, they don't turn back as they hear thousands of splashes, the sounds of millions of creatures breaking the surface of the water, taking flight.

Only when their feet hit the sand did they have the courage to take a look. Together, they turn around.

Hundreds, no, thousands of fish were suspended in the air twenty feet above the water. They swam through the blue sky, almost unintelligible from the lake itself. Like floating lanterns, they glided, glowing. Their scales shined like the surface of the water, reflecting a rainbow of colors all around. 

Schools of fish flow past each other, unfazed by their relocation, prey still evading predators, predators still chasing prey. The small minnows darted about. The larger eels slithered across their lightning blue background.

The myriad, the amalgamation, the indescribable mass, constantly shifted and changed in front of them, a sleight of hand magic trick that they couldn't keep up with, fish like cards shuffling in the hands of a magician pulling invisible strings. 

The water held the reflections of the suspended lanterns, like ghosts drifting across its surface, flickering in and out as the waves come and go.

Breathless, they wordlessly walk back to the edge of the dock, water still dripping from their legs, seeping into the wood. They don't notice the trickle of water down their calves, don't notice how their hands are still tightly interlocked. Rather, their heads are fixated on the display above, jaws hanging open in awe. 

Seungwan speaks to break their stupor. "I think we might need to reevaluate our position on magic."

She doesn't get a response, only hears a thick swallow. Her hands are rattling, but it's not her who's shaking. Joohyun's hands tremble. She was scared.

Seungwan pulls Joohyun closer, wraps an arm around her shoulder. "You're still scared of fish?"

Joohyun can only muster a small nod, eyes wide.

Doing her best to distract, Seungwan manages to peel her eyes away from the aerial aquatic exhibition. "Hey, Joohyun, let's look down at the water, okay? Look at the seaweed," She adds, pointing, "Doesn't it look like it's dancing?"

Joohyun laughs, breath shaky as Seungwan imitates the seaweed, waving and jiggling her arms. Distraction achieved. The older looked significantly more comfortable, but still couldn't help but cling to Seungwan's side. She's not complaining.

"Remember the time we went fishing?"

"How could I forget?" Joohyun replies, a nervous chuckle rising from , still shaken by the fish above. "You finally caught one and were so excited that you ran all the way down the dock and shoved it in my face."

Seungwan almost doubles over. "I don't think I could ever forget how loudly you screamed! I could swear that my eardrums were on the verge of bursting." She nudges Joohyun teasingly, "And that's not even the worst part. You just went and slapped the fish out of my hands and right back in the water!"

Joohyun looks down, slightly embarrassed, allowing Seungwan to continue. 

"It was very surprising, you know. You were so scared that your fear turned against itself and you touched the fish to get it away from you! I was kind of proud actually." Seungwan's chest bobs up and down with her amused laughter. "But here you are, still just as scared of them, huh?" She gives her hand a comforting squeeze.

"I tried to get over it, swimming here again after you left," Joohyun explains. "But I was frightened out of my mind. Haven't gotten over it."

"You know, I remember the exact moment you started becoming scared of them!" A flashbulb appears above the shorter's head. "We were swimming right around here when we were kids, and a fish brushed up against your leg! You've been terrified ever since."

Joohyun quickly interjects in her defense. "Hey! It's not like you were any better! You would always cling to me when we were treading water. It's so hard to swim like that."

Seungwan rolls her eyes sarcastically, taking a jab at Joohyun. "At least I can still swim here, unlike you." Her statement receives an instinctive smack on her arm from Joohyun. "Ow!"

"Serves you right for making fun of your elders."

"So you're old now?"

Another smack.

Managing to quell her own laughter, Seungwan has an idea. She gazes into the clear water, thinks she can see their smiles reflected in the water.

"You know what we should do?"

Joohyun raises an eyebrow in her curiosity. Seungwan goes on.

"It's less that you're scared of the water, and more that you're scared of the fish, right?"

"Well, yes."

"All of the fish in this lake..." Seungwan points upward, a realization spreading across her features as she finishes her statement, "...are in the sky."

Joohyun's expression changes, growing more concerned by the minute. "And?"

"We should swim."

The medical student starts peeling off her pants and shirt, forcing Joohyun to avert her eyes, from the display of lightly tanned skin, red traveling up the tips of her ears. "Since when did you get this bold?"

Seungwan takes a second to throw a casual smile over her shoulder. "In a dream, you can do anything right?"

So she takes a running leap, and jumps. Her short brown hair shoots upward as she tucks her legs into a ball, hitting the water with a splash. The lake's surface is broken, rippling in Seungwan's aftermath, sending droplets up like confetti, only falling when Seungwan comes up for air. 

She whips her hair back, smoothing it over as she runs her hands through her hair. 

Joohyun has never believed in mermaids before, but she thinks that if they existed, they might look like this.

In the midst of her admiring, a wave of cold strikes her face. The culprit laughs while she treads, ducking underneath as Joohyun leans over the dock, reaching down to the water and splashing in retaliation. From underwater, Seungwan can still send waves toward Joohyun, pushing the lake water upward, aiming at the girl on the dock.

The next time she comes up to breathe, Joohyun shouts, "Hey! Stop getting me wet, you baby!"

The mermaid sticks out her tongue, teasing, "Why don't you come and make me!"

Joohyun begins pulling off her sandals, pausing as she looks into the deep water, searching for any signs of stray, horrifying creatures.

"There's nothing to be scared of, Joohyun," Seungwan cries out. "Besides, the fish that you're so scared aren't in the water, they're up there with you!"

As the girl points, Joohyun follows her eyeline to the sky, the monsters still swimming around like an ominous cloud. One of said monsters starts coming toward her, another having escaped her attention as she was fighting Seungwan, skimming Joohyun's shin. The researcher startles, running forward to where the wood ends, teetering over the brink. She stares into the translucent blue, hesitant to take the final step off.

As she's stupefied, she doesn't notice Seungwan climbing up the ladder on the other side, starting at the other end of the dock. 

The eel, the creature, the monster, is still slithering over to Joohyun, who stands frozen in fear. Her eyes meet the murky yellow of its own, mesmerized and terrified all at once. She manages to pull her gaze away, eyes traveling across the surface of the water, but unable to find Seungwan. Instinctively, she turns and shouts, the only thing she knows how to do.

"Seungwan! Save me!"

The girl at the other end bends down, knees readying to run.

"Wait, what are you —"

"Do you trust me?" Seungwan calls back.

With no hesitation, Joohyun responds. "Yes!"

Joohyun's exclamation resounds like a bullet from a starting pistol, catapulting Seungwan into motion. The girl's legs are short, but she's never moved faster, taking long strides that hit each plank at evenly spaced intervals, nearing Joohyun with every passing second.

One moment, she sees the blur of short brown hair, the next, she sees the flash of Seungwan's smile. Finally, she sees the sky, the fish all sprawled out above her like flags fluttering in the wind, waving banners of reds and greens and yellows. 

They collide, Seungwan wrapping her arms around Joohyun as she tackles her, launching them over the edge of the dock and into the water. For a few seconds, they're with the fish, soaring above the lake like they are, suspended in space. It ends when they hit the water, when they see the crystal blue.

Joohyun opens her eyes, finds that Seungwan's are shut, that Seungwan is smiling. She looks around and can see the seaweed, can see the sand at the bottom, can see clear across to the other side of the lake, can see that there are no fish.

She smiles too, squeezing Seungwan before she lets go, before they both swim to the surface.

As they break the surface, they come up laughing.

They look up, shadows cast over their faces by the fish covering the sky. All they can see is their gray undersides, indistinguishable masses bumbling about. Squint, and the white scales look as soft as clouds.

The silence of the moment is disrupted by Seungwan's voice, chiming in with a strange comment. "There's no way they can anatomically survive like that, right?" Turning to Joohyun, eyes closed in delight, she continues, "Think that they're robots?"

Joohyun laughs even harder, can imagine the metal exoskeletons, mechanisms locking and unlocking as the creatures move. She forgets that she was ever scared of them. With Seungwan, she could face her fears, even in dreams.

Seungwan wakes up, heart still thrumming in her chest. She can still remember the feeling of soft hands and wood, of water and sand.

Reaching over to her bedside table, fumbling around for her glasses, her hand touches paper. She brings the note close to her face, turning it over in her hands. There was gold lining its edges, intricate embossing pressed to its edges. It looked mystical, craftsmanship far beyond anything that Seungwan had ever seen.

The cover reads nothing but her name, Son Seungwan, written in golden ink. 

She flips it open, peering at the letters inside. 

You have five more nights with her. Spend them wisely. 

- Sandman