Goodbye, Kim Minji.

 

One sentence. Just one sentence. Written on a piece of sticky note, sitting on the kitchen countertops. 

 

Kim Minji thinks that her morning will be great, waking up her girlfriend making breakfast for them. She thinks that her morning will be lovely, eating breakfast while enjoying their warm coffee before going out for work. But, what she did not expect is a piece of sticky note, with only one sentence written on it. One piece of sticky notes, and her world comes crumbling down.

 

She stares at that piece of sticky note, tears flowing down and she did not bother to wipe it. So many questions flowing inside her brain. Questions that she could not answer. She thought everything was fine. They even spend the night together, having dinner, watching movies, and cuddling each other to sleep. But why…?

 

Then realization hits her. Kim Minji was never a good girlfriend. She was never a caring one. She breaks so many promises. She broke the younger’s hearts for god knows how many times. All because of her stupid workaholic self. 

 

“I need to work so we can have a better future.” 

“I need to work so I could buy us a house, and a car that belongs to us.” 

“I could not leave the meeting, it’s a good opportunity!” 

“I am sorry, I could not make it home by dinner, there’s a sudden company dinner that I could not sit out.” 

 

They’ve been together for so many years, but ever since they graduated university and started working never once she stayed to celebrate their anniversary. Never once she remembers the younger’s birthday and prepares something special. And never once does she show up at even her own birthday party whenever the younger one prepares a dinner or a celebration. That only now she realized, that for the past year, there was no anniversary celebration, there was no birthday dinner, there was nothing.

 

The two have known each other since highschool, being in the same class and sharing seats. The two got closed almost instantly and inseparable ever since. They share every secret, happiness, sadness, and also feelings. Hence, when the younger girl confesses to Minji she says yes almost instantly.

 

7 years, that is how long they’ve been together. Receiving blessings from both family and friends, they moved in together once they graduated highschool. They went to the same university, having different majors. Things were fine during then. 

 

But things started to change once they graduated. Minji got accepted into an engineering company, while the younger one opened up her own studio and taught dance to little children. And both of them are getting more busy with real life that they spend time together less and less as time goes by. 

 

The younger always makes an effort to spend time with Minji, but everytime Minji always ends up breaking her promises. Coming back to a dark apartment, only to meet with the younger sleeping soundly with her back facing her. She never waits for her like she used to anymore. And that is when she knows, what they have between them changed. 

 

But did Minji do something to fix that? No.

 

Work is more important. Or so she said. Because that is how she was able to cater for both of them. 

 

But does the younger want any of it? Does she want Minji to provide for them? Does she want a good future, with a house, a car? No.

 

She only wishes for them to go back to when they used to spend time every night, cuddling, telling stories. And not for her to wait for Minji to come home late night, sometimes drunk, breaking promises, and giving blank promises.

 

She had enough. She had enough of all the lies, she had enough of Minji.

---

6 months have passed. 

6 months since Minji was left alone. 

6 months since Minji started to isolate herself, cutting off herself from the outside world. 

 

No matter how her friends try to reach out for her, they can't. Minji fully cut off everything. She knows if she shows up in front of her friends, they will only give her a disappointed expression. Minji knows, because her friends always scold her from time to time, she just never listens.

 

She quit her job, moved out of her apartment. She saved enough money to last her another year. She just couldn’t stay in her old apartment, knowing that it holds a lot of memories between them.

 

She travels around, going from one country to another.

---

It’s been 2 years since. Minji is now back in Seoul and opened a bakery downtown.

The only person that knew about it aside from her cousin, Yubin, was Yoohyeon and Siyeon. Yubin accidentally slips, telling the two girls that she is going to Minji’s bakery. Which ended up with the 2 following Yubin to her bakery that day. 

 

They scolded her, she deserves it. But what she did not expect is, they scolded her for running away, they scolded her for cutting off contact from them. They told her about how they were so worried, how they were so surprised that when her ex came to them, crying, telling them that she could not take it anymore, she was tired. 

 

They narrate what happened that morning, when she came to their shared house with a big luggage and puffy eyes. They told her that she just barged in, crashed into Siyeon and bawled her heart out. She told them that she is tired, that she could not take it anymore, that things are going nowhere. She also told them that she just wanted to go back to when they were in college, when they have a lot of time in their hand, when they could just cuddle and talk about their day. 

 

Her friends never blame her, but it will be a lie if they say they are not disappointed at her. They were worried for Minji too, but by the time they reached out to Minji, she left. 

 

And today, a once in a while peaceful day for Minji, without Siyeon or Yoohyeon come bugging her for free bread and coffee. Minji enjoys her peaceful day, arranging the baked goods, cleaning the coffee machine, while humming to the song that is playing on the radio. And that is when the bell rings.

 

*ring ring*

 

“Welcome to Minji’s bakery~” 

 

Minji says her usual greetings and looks up towards the door, only to freeze in place when she sees who walks into the bakery. Walking in a couple, the girl playfully hits the guy’s arms, assuming laughing from the joke that the guy made. They looked so happy and seemed like they did not realize Minji’s greetings, until they walked up to the counter. The girl is still laughing and turns her attention to the menu on the counter when the guy is making his order. Only when he asks the girl what she wants to order that the girl finally lifts up her head and sees the person standing in front of her.

 

“Min...Minji…?”

 

Out of all places and timing, she definitely did not expect to see her here. And after 2 years, she never changed, still having the same bubbly personality, loud laughter. What change is she dyed her hair back to brown, no more bright red hair that she had the last time they were together. 

 

The two of them having a staring session, forgetting that one was supposed to take order and one was supposed to make an order. It feels like everything around them disappears, left only with the two of them. 

 

“Baby? Bora?” 

“Ah… Sorry.” Bora, Kim Bora. That is her name. The name of the love of Minji’s life. Bora snapped back to reality and quickly mumbled out her order before the guy paid for it and proceeded to the waiting counter. 

 

‘She never changes… It’s still the same…’ Minji thought. Bora hates coffee, and Ice Choco was her go to whenever they hang out at cafes. 

 

She quickly makes the order, passes it to the couple and walks back to the counter. She couldn’t afford to stare any longer, or everything that she held the past 2 years will surely explode. And only when the couple left the bakery is when she let out the breath that she didn't know she held.

 

“Yes, Minji? Close early today?”

“Yu...bin…” Minji sobs out Yubin’s name. She closed her store right after the couple left. She doesn't think she can manage to hold it, so she closes the store early that night. And she called Yubin right after she walked into her office, her tears falling for the first time in 2 years. 

 

No, she never once cried in the past 2 years. She knows that she is the one to blame, she is at fault. So she nulled out her feelings, holding her tears inside. And today, it finally exploded. Who would imagine that meeting Bora will cause all the walls she built inside her to crumble in a second?

 

“I am coming” She heard Yubin answer in a rush and hung up the phone. 

 

And about 10 minutes later, Yubin, Yoohyeon and Siyeon barged into her office and engulfed her in a hug, comforting her, telling her everything will be fine. They are confused, of course. Minji just called in the middle of the day, crying, with no explanation. They know this day will happen, they know the day when Minji finally crumbles down will come. They let her cry it out.

 

“Care to tell us what happened?” Yubin asked when Minji finally calmed down.

“She came…” Minji whispered. Face buried in the crook of Siyeon’s neck.

“Who…?” Yoohyeon asked, confused.

“Kim Bora.” And the group falls silent.

 

“When?” Siyeon asked, hands patting Minji’s back as she felt that the older girl tensed up at the question.

“They left before I called Yubin.”

 

The three of them just stay quiet. They don’t know what to say, but they know Minji needs time and comfort, after all this time holding everything alone. They stay by her side until it’s late and they drive Minji back home, not wanting to leave her alone but Minji insists that she will be fine. They of course don’t believe it, but know better not to argue with her.

 

Soon after she closes the door, she slides down and cries. She cried and cried and cried, she didn't know how many more tears that she could let out, she just cried. She didn’t remember when she walked into the kitchen, grabbed whatever alcohol she had and downed it all. She only knows that she is not feeling light-headed, sitting in her living room still with alcohol on her one hand and phone on another.

 

“It’s either do or nothing.” She mumbled and pressed down the call button. Hoping it’s not connecting, but it is. 

 

“Her number is still the same…” She smiles bitterly.

---

“Hello?”

“Anyone there?” 

“I swear to God if this is a prank!” Minji could hear that Bora is annoyed. But she just wants to listen to her voice. She keeps quiet, saying nothing. 

 

“If you are not planning to say anything, I am hanging up.” She heard Bora said, and she panicked. She wants to listen to her voice longer, she missed the girl so much.

 

“I am hanging up.” Minji could clearly hear that Bora is annoyed, and she heard the other line went off.

 

Minji stares at her phone, thinking whether she should call her back, but decides against it. She continued drinking, until she eventually passed out on her sofa.

---

The next day she woke up being disturbed by her phone ringing beside her. She sits up, grabbing her head and she groans at the throbbing pain. ‘Reminds me not to finish a whole bottle of wine next time.’ She mumbled to herself as she eyes the empty bottle of wine on the floor. 

 

“Hmm?” She lazily mumbled as she picked up her phone.

“Are you okay?” She heard the worry in Yubin’s voice.

“Hangover, but fine. I won’t be opening today and I’ll just stay in for a whole day.” 

“Okay, just don’t go disappear again without telling us!” Siyeon speaks a little too loud for her liking.

“I won’t… I just want to be alone for awhile.” She said.

 

Minji stays in her bed the whole day, she scrolls her phone gallery, looking at their past pictures. She realizes they don’t have a single picture for the past 2 years before Bora left her. She smiles bitterly at the memories of that day, the day Bora left her. She misses her, she misses her smile, she misses her voice, she misses her touch. She misses the way Bora cuddles her to sleep at night, she misses waking up to Bora making coffee for her. She regrets everything, but now it’s too late. Bora has someone else, and she is happy.

 

She wants to call her, she wants to listen to her voice. She wants to tell her that she still loves her, and never once does she stop loving her. She wants to tell her that she wishes for her to come back, so that she could make it up for those years they missed. 

 

But Minji knows, she shouldn’t be selfish. Not when Bora could finally find her happiness. She doesn't want to complicate it. So she made up her mind.

 

She pulls out the messenger, and she types...

 

Hi... I am sorry to reach out…

You don’t need to reply, or respond.

I just want to say, I am sorry. 

I was the wrong one, I always was. And I don’t blame your choice at all, you have the right to leave.

I thought I could make you happy, but now I know.

 

I hurt you. I broke our promises. And I give blank promises. 

I gave a promise that I could not keep. I left you feeling alone, while I am out there doing what I think the best for us.
But I was wrong. Only for it to be too late when I realize.

 

I see you found someone, and I am happy you do.

Make sure he treats you well, hold you like he won’t let go, call you just to hear your voice.

He should tell you that you are beautiful, even when you think you are not.

He should love you, better that I did. You deserve the best.

 

You said your goodbye. And now is my turn.

Goodbye, Kim Bora. I am sorry. I love you.