“You wanna leave?”

The madam did not show much on her expression. “You’ve thought about it?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Is this because you want to…or she promised you?”

Sana did not answer. She did not want to answer.

“I’ve had a lot of girls, honey. You are not the first one to have a loyal client. You are not the first one who falls in love with a client, either.”

It wasn’t a surprised thing for Sana to hear. She stood still, waiting for the madam’s following words.

“I can feel she is dependent on you. You probably have seen the weakest part of her. Has she seen the weakest part of you?”

I’m scared of thunders. She knows that.

“I’m not talking about things you are afraid of and she knows. You are not kids.” The madam looked straightly into her eyes. “There must be a reason that made you leave Japan and came to Korea and even chose this job. Does she know that too?”

Sana did not answer. She did not know how to answer.

“Can you guarantee…she will accept your past? Are you sure you like her not just because she acts like your savior? Are you sure she likes you…not just because you need her?”

The air had become thinner in the room. Sana parted her dry lips, but nothing was able to come out. Her mind was faltered.

“All the girls that claimed their clients love them and would give them a perfect life came back here eventually. Falling in love is easy, honey, but dealing with the reality is not. Think carefully of it.”

Dahyun was waiting on the hallway as Sana walked out like a log. She stepped closer, hands gripping something tightly.

“I’m fine, Dahyun. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Sana…”

“I’m fine, really.”

“No, Sana…I just…”

Sana’s spiritless eyes looked up. Dahyun gulped, showing the phone in her hands to her. It was Sana’s phone.

“It kept ringing so I picked up…And it was a man, talking in Japanese. I think it was your stepfather.”

He called? How did he find my number?

“I only understood a few words, but…” Dahyun’s sight drifted down. “I knew I heard mom…and…”

“And what?” Sana breathed out heavily.

“Passed…away. I might be wrong, ok? Just call him back now, maybe…”

Dahyun was in time to hold Sana and prevented her from collapsing to the cold floor.

“This is not certain yet…L-Let’s go back to the room and call him, ok?”

Not just her mind was faltered, her world was faltered. And shattered.

***

“You didn’t reply my messages, I thought you wouldn’t come.”

Though Tzuyu did not show much on her face, it was obvious that she was happy to see Sana.

“Take a seat. The dinner is ready.”

Before Tzuyu could turn, Sana leaned forward and hugged her tightly, face buried on her right shoulder. Tzuyu was surprised, but she immediately stopped what she was about to do.

“Sana? Everything ok?”

Sana kept silent so Tzuyu did not push. She wrapped the girl in her arms, secure and assuring like always. Much to her dismay, Sana soon stepped back, even pushed her slightly on the arms.

“Sana…” Tzuyu did not want to act nervous. “Tell me what happened.”

One second.

Two seconds.

“You pity me?”

“What?” Tzuyu frowned, “What’s wrong?”

“I looked fragile when we first met...so you thought I needed you to help me? And saved me? Are you putting your remorse about your past on me?”

“What are you...”

“Answer me!” Sana blurted out, “Are you satisfied...because you helped a miserable ? Are you satisfied you got a chance to be hero? You distribute your kindness so you can feel like a saint?”

Tzuyu’s lips turned to a straight line. That made Sana wince.

“I don’t know what you heard from the others.” Tzuyu’s face had never been so stern. “And I don’t care what they said. But if you see me like this...”

Even if she got angry, it was reasonable. The girl she kept in mind every day just showed up at her place and accused her with some nonsense. But she sighed, no anger, just frustration.

“I wanted to end my loneliness…I don’t want to keep hiding myself in the world of comics. I want a kind of company, and Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung can’t give me that. I am bad at socializing, I don’t know how to chat with strangers and people all think I’m boring and dull. So I got this stupid idea...If I paid for someone to talk, to spend time with me...they can think I’m boring and dull, they can call me a freak, but they cannot walk away at will. At least...I got more time to try. At least I can learn.”

Guilt trip had engulfed Sana. She bit her lower lip, didn’t want the tears to rush out.

“I don’t know if this would make you feel better, or worse...you are not the first girl I paid for. Not every girl I paid was my love and I’ve never thought I’m responsible for every girl who needs help.”

Tzuyu sighed again. “The first one...I don’t even know her name. She looked older than me, touched me and forced kisses on me the moment she came in. Her perfume made me sneeze. I had to kick her out before things went insane. The second one...Lily or Jenny, whatever. She was even quieter than me. I tried to talk but she never replied. She just started to undo her clothes and...I kicked her out. She stayed for only 15 minutes.”

If they were not under this kind of condition, Sana would probably laugh at Tzuyu’s experience. But now, every word sounded broken-hearted.

“The third one...yeah, a girl from Taiwan, just like me. Her tears began to flood when she found out I’m also from Taiwan. For 30 minutes she just crying and sobbing and saying how miserable she was. I could only listen, but I did not feel like comforting her. From what I had heard she was totally materialistic, her parents and ex and lovers were never rich enough. She chose everything. She had choices, but she chose the life now. She could not blame anyone.”

After the explanation (or gibberish), Tzuyu dragged herself forward to Sana. Thankfully, Sana did not step back.

“And then I met you. You are different…and special. I wouldn’t say I fell for you at the first sight…but I fell for you. Before I could stop myself. My drawings come out faster and faster, my stories have become brighter. I’m not patient at getting paid anymore because I can’t wait to have you here. Last month, after that night…I knew you would start coming if you want to, not because I request you to…I’ve never felt so happy. I’m sorry, Sana. I’m sorry I didn’t clear you doubts…I’m sorry I couldn’t show my feelings rightly to you...I’m too used to hiding my minds and moods.”

Seeing tears run down Sana’s brown eyes, Tzuyu bit her lip, took one step closer and cupped her cheeks.

“You should s-scold me…yell at me…” Sana sobbed. “Why bother saying so much?”

“What else can I do?” Tzuyu smiled, bitterly but lovingly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Sana buried her face on Tzuyu’s shoulder, hands gripping her T-shirt and tears soaking the fabric.

“I’m sorry, Tzuyu…I’m so sorry…”

“Hey…”

“I’m so, so sorry…”

Tzuyu was never good at words, so she expressed with actions. She held the weeping girl tight and pressed a kiss on her crown.

What else can I do?

I’ve fallen for you, deeply.

***

“This…weekend? You’re flying