J A E J O O N G

Jaejoong thought that he was out of the danger zone as soon as he left the military. It wasn't like he didn't want to see Yunho... In fact, he craved to meet him but couldn't risk being seen with him. So he did his best to avoid him at all costs. Whenever he was informed that Yunho was close by, he would find an excuse to go to the opposite side of the military base. As soon as he was finished with his enlistment, he rested at home for a couple of days, adjusting to the world outside of the confinement of the military base.

After a few days, he decided to treat his friends to the most expensive restaurant in Seoul. The same restaurant where he, Yunho, Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun chose to go whenever Jaejoong couldn't make time to cook for the five of them.

 Once Jaejoong and his friends were gathered at the restaurant, they said their 'cheers' to celebrate Jaejoong. But as Jaejoong took a sip of the exensive red wine, he nearly choked, causing his white shirt to stain from the deep red color of the wine.

Was it really Yunho sitting at the table right next to his? What had he done to deserve this? Had he killed a country in his previous life? There was no other explanation as to why karma kept giving him a hard time. Bowing slightly, he got up from the table and left, a quickness to his step as he rushed to the restroom in an attempt to wash the stain with water, his eyes glancing briefly at Yunho's table as he passed by.

Y U N H O

For years, it was Yunho's best intention to give Jaejoong space, whether it was at an event or even as recent as the military base. Yunho held a special place in his heart meant for Jaejoong and even though the once couple had gone their separate ways, the space in his heart remained untouched. As if anyone were really able to fill the void-

After returning from the military, Yunho made it his priority to become a much happier man, even though that meant leaving Jaejoong in his past, or so he thought...

Gathering his family, he took them out to eat as promised, to his favorite restaurant. Glancing over at the table right next to theirs, he couldn't help but sense some sort of presence. Concerned with the small abrupt chaos at the other table, he looked over at the man who had nearly choked on his drink. It wasn't just any man though, it was Jaejoong. Yunho hated to think like this, but he questioned himself - should he help? Or should he mind his own business and go on with his life? As he watched the older man get up from the table, he shifted his eyes and bowed his head in case Jaejoong had not noticed him.

But out of the habit of caring and nurturing his group mates, Yunho slipped out from the table and cautiously walked behind Jaejoong, giving distance between them as he followed the other towards the restroom.

"Jaejoong..." Yunho barely whispered as he stood behind the man, watching him try to remove the stain from his shirt.

J A E J O O N G

Jaejoong didn't bother to check if anyone else was in the restroom, he simply lifted his shirt a little, his lower stomach exposed as he ran the stain under the faucet. How much of an effect did Yunho's presence have on him to not even complain about the ruined shirt? Jaejoong shook his head to get rid of the thought, reminding himself that there was no way Yunho would approach him anyway since he must have probably moved on. Even if Jaejoong always had feelings for Yunho, he cared for him and knew for a fact that a woman would be a better choice for him. He was handsome and he could only imagine how perfect his children would be. He adored children and if Yunho ever had any, he was sure that he would fall in love with them as well.

After all, Yunho wasn't gay, he was biual. Even though they had been together, Jaejoong clearly remembered the younger flirting with different female idols during shows. Was it fanservice or was it reality? He didn't know and wouldn't like to find out either.

As soon as he heard a voice behind him, his whole body froze in shock, causing the water to spill all over his shirt. He had always been a bit more clumsy than normal around Yunho after all. Wait... Yunho?

Once the realization hit him, his eyes slightly widened. He didn't dare to turn around and properly greet him, he could only stare at the younger through the mirror.

"O-Oh Yunho.. What are you doing? Is your manager or Lee Soo Man here?" He asked awkwardly since they couldn't risk being seen together. Especially if any of their company officials were around.

Y U N H O

In this very moment, even though Jaejoong had just ruined his shirt, Yunho's heart was full. He always found it much harder to avoid Jaejoong more than doing his schedules as an idol. The familiar yet unfamiliar feeling of it just being the two men in one room was missed. Yunho missed this. He tugged on his lower lip as his thoughts began to race. Should he be doing this? Should he really be here with him alone? What if they were to get caught? How would he defend YunJae?

 YunJae... The top of Yunho's lip curled at the simple thought of their combined ship name. His questions and doubtful thoughts stopped as he began to reminisce his favorite moments that the two shared. The late nights in the practice room, the movie dates in the comfort of their own dorm where they would be in each other's embrace the whole movie through until they woke up the following day. Or even the small chances that they got to have skinship on stage, it wasn't all just fanservice.

"If any of them were here, I probably wouldn't have shown up here" he said softly as he placed his hands on the smaller man's shoulders, moving Jaejoong so that he was facing Yunho.

"You haven't changed-" he smiled sadly as he spoke with a little regret. Yunho began to slowly and carefully Jaejoong's shirt. Though what he said was far from the truth. The truth was that he had gotten more beautiful. As if a man could gain more beauty, yet here Jaejoong was standing in front of him as living proof. After he pulled off Jaejoong's white button up shirt, Yunho began to his own and without any thought he found himself dressing Jaejoong up in his own shirt, doing up the buttons and folding up the cuffs.

He hesitated for a moment, "How are you?" Yunho looked at Jaejoong straight in the eye as he continued fixing the shirt. All he wanted to hear was that Jaejoong missed him and that he still loves him, but Yunho found that quite impossible. It's been years. Years of being disconnected from each other. And in those years, Jaejoong had probably found a better man. A better man who had qualities that Yunho did not have. But what if he wasn't? Yunho held on to a small thread of hope that Jaejoong had stayed single all this time, although he figured who could resist the man standing in front of him? The small thread of hope loosened little by little as Yunho's thoughts were the 'what if' scenarios that did not have Yunho being next to Jaejoong.

A/N:

how was that for a first chapter? honestly felt like I was writing a novel every time I replied. it really takes the life out of me-

but this chapter is tame, so enjoy it, soak it in because it could go either way from here. who knows? 

what to expect next chapter:

... Jaejoong chose to remain silent and just appreciate the fact that Yunho was making an effort to comfort him jst like old times. He hadn't changed at all. Still so honest with his feelings just like an innocent child that could never lie for more than a few seconds. Yunho had a pure heart and Jaejoong was certain that he would kill anyone who dared to ever hurt him...

"It's not like you found the right one. Or... have you?" 

"I... found the right one... I was just stupid enough to let them go... I don't know if they will ever take me back..."