You never thought you were a person deserving of a deep love or one capable of love. A weird sense of discomfort and impossible feeling overwhelming you was something you connected to that four-letter word. No matter how many times you had a crush (which was, unfortunately, rarely), the excitement wasn’t enough for you to give you hope that you would be capable to love. 

So when everything started with this famous singer, naturally you had doubts. You didn’t want to get too much into detail about why you were feeling the way you were about relationships, but you definitely thought it is normal to think having a relationship with someone like him was ridiculous. He easily could have been playing with you. But you did not have relevant proof for this. Neither did you ever hear a single bad word about his reputation with women.

Just one date, he said. “I really want to take you on a date. A playdate?” he would raise his eyebrow, seducing you.

He didn’t understand your point of view on the whole situation. But, what you did not know, was that he had figured you and your personality out, although you would let very little for him to read from your expressions. He admired how you maintained a professional attitude despite your racing pulse or your blown pupils. That, you could hardly control.

You sighed, looking at your reflection in the mirror. You couldn’t stop your heart from beating so fast and so loud it was making you a bit dizzy… Let alone you couldn’t eat a single thing the whole day because the idea that he was to pick you up at 11pm was making your insides so uneasy, needing to go to the bathroom every hour or, worse, making you almost vomit from the anticipation. He was so attractive, flirtatious, and you couldn’t stop thinking about him ever since the shoot had finished. The second day of shooting was, when he asked you out. Very carefully, he formulated his question, but it was his voice, his deep eyes that told you just how much he meant it. And because you didn’t have enough time, for he had to leave right after the shoot, you nodded in approval to which he rewarded you with the brightest smile, his eyes gorgeous half-moons, his cheeks puffed up just like he was smiling into the camera while he was being interviewed. Ever so carefully, he for your phone number, and when he saved it, he called you. Declining the call, you unlocked your phone to save his contact and that was when he muttered: “Please, don’t lose your phone.”

“I won’t save it under your name, that would be too obvious,” you replied quietly, feared of being overheard although you knew nobody would come to the storage room. Everyone was still cleaning up the set. But it was Baekhyun’s team that was most probably looking for him by now.

He shook his head gently, making just a tiny step closer, suddenly his face not that far from your. “No,” he breathed, his eyes glinting, “but I will call you when I’m in front of yours. So don’t lose it.”

You gave out a small chuckle, shaking your head at his cheesiness. “I cherish my phone, okay? Just like all the people these days. Don’t worry, Baekhyun ssi.”

Pursing his lips, he said, before turning to leave: “Just Baekhyun, okay? For you, it’s Baekhyun.”

And now, here you were. Waiting for - just Baekhyun - the singer.

You almost jumped out of your skin when your phone vibrated on the tiny table in your one-room apartment. Interesting how a usual vibration of a phone just meant a simple message or a phone call, usually not giving it any meaning. Now it gave you butterflies, another wave of nausea from all the anticipation and just pure bliss at the idea that he was the one giving you a call. Just like he promised, at exactly the time he said he would be there.

The entire time you were coming out of the basement (yes, your apartment was in a basement, having two small windows just under the ceiling) and out to the dark street was unreal. Those two minutes that it took you to leave your place and walk out felt like eternity because you were shaky and nervous from meeting him. There was also a possibility that after spending time with you tonight, you might never hear from him given that he might be disappointed in you, not quite what he thought you would be like.

You just hoped nobody would recognize his car or him…

Please, don’t let anyone recognize him. Or they can recognize him and all, but please don’t let them catch you with him, okay? 

You quickly chided yourself for thinking such silly thoughts and just then you recognized his car. It was the only one with its motor on, quitely purring, the car just as black as the night, all shiny and so… just so Baekhyun. Which meant y. Could a car be y?

God.

You were going crazy.

Quickly making your way to the vehicle, you opened the door to the passenger seat and swiftly slid onto the leather seat, closing the door behind you with as much gentleness as you could, scared that it would probably just break.

You heard a gentle laugh from your left side and you finally turned to look at him, so mesmerized you couldn’t stop the bewitched smile creeping onto your face as you took him in.

“I didn’t pay so much money for this car for it to break if you close it roughly,” was what he said, but you could see his mind and gaze were quite unfocused as he let his eyes slide over your features that were ever so gently touched up with some make up. You were thankful he didn’t eye you up hungrily like most men did, still a gentleman just like he was until then.

“Well, it ain’t my car,” you replied, your smile widening. “And good evening to you.”

His elbow that was resting between you two was making his shoulder and chest so wide, but he was wearing a black, long-sleeved t-shirt so you couldn’t make up much of him. Only the long silver chain hanging around his neck. “Good evening,” he muttered dreamily. After another heartbeat, he cleared his throat. “Ready to go?”

Finally looking ahead and out onto the street, you nodded. “No idea where to, but I trust you. So yeah, I am ready,” you said enthusiastically, not knowing where the positive energy was coming from, but it was welcomed. You looked at him again, to see his bright smile and a resolute nod before he turned to face the front, his right hand expertly putting the vehicle into drive. 

The lights in the car were all red, including the seatbelt that was holding you together, because otherwise you might have fallen apart at how you were levitating in the air from the man driving next to you. And boy, did you need some reality check because this all seemed way out of your league for it to be true. So while Baekhyun was talking to you, asking you some questions to get to know you, your right hand slid to the outer side of your thigh and pinched it as hard as could, scared that you would suddenly wake up in your ty one-room apartment and a bitter taste in your mouth at how real the dream was-

-except it wasn’t a dream.

You were in his car. 

And currently he was quietly laughing at something silly you replied, most probably not paying attention since you were too busy being scared of having such a vivid dream with him.

There was this whiff of his cologne, that was strangely soft and not quite masculine as you would have expected. It was clean, yet so enthralling it was the only sign you could connect it to you grounding yourself with the current moment.

“I hope you won’t dislike my plan too much,” he said after he focused on the road for a minute since there was sudden traffic and he was changing lines. His eyes were checking the side mirrors, and you swallowed.

Biting your lip, you realised all the lip gloss has disappeared since you kept gnawing at it nonstop, too nervous to notice. “It is the company that counts, right?” you tried, but you just felt like everything you said might have earned you bad points.

He smiled, still looking at the road as he took a right, a huge hill next to you. Gazing out of the window, you held your breath.

“Wait,” you muttered, frowning. “Isn’t this-”

“I live elsewhere-”

“UN Village?” your tone went almost an octave higher, not being able to tear your gaze away. After you passed the bridge to Hannam-dong, you recognized it immediately since there were so many embassies but you thought you would end up in Itaewon. But he was stopping right there. Turning to him, you gave him a squint. “What are we doing here?”

Since there were no more cars on the road as you were driving up he stole a glance at you. “Don’t worry, we aren’t going to any of the houses here.”

Your heart sped up again.

“As you know,” he tried, leading the car through streets full of  expensive houses and mansions, and you wanted to hide from all the posh, luxurious buildings that seemed to be out of place in a cramped city like Seoul. “I can’t just go anywhere I like, unfortunately.” Finally, he stopped the car in front of a house but on the other side of the road so that he wasn’t blocking the entrance. “If you don’t like it or feel uncomfortable, we can go elsewhere.” Now he turned in the driver’s seat, facing you with a slight worry in his eyes. You might have not read him so well, but he honestly wanted to be on a calm place. With you. Alone. No disturbances.

You shook your head, scolding yourself internally for freaking out at him like that. Another bad point, you thought. “Not at all,” you replied, giving him an apologetic smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever even been in the vicinity of this place, is all.”

“I guess I’m the first to bring you here then, eh?”

You chuckled. “Good guess.”

He stared at you for a tad longer than normally, which in your communication studies lecture definitely meant affectionate body language, but you tried not to pay too much attention. “Shall we?” he asked, motioning with his hand to the silent street.

Once outside, you realised his plan was very simple. Walking. Enjoying the bright moonlight above you that was almost in full moon. Oh, the city lights as well. The entire city of Seoul was lying in front of you.

“This is gorgeous,” you breathed out, stopping at some point to just stare and enjoy the pretty view. “I could stare at this the whole night.”

Feeling a presence right next to you, you turned to see his side profile that made you, once again, realise who the hell took you out on a date. Byun ing Baekhyun. He brought you on your date, and it was walking in UN Village… Just walking in this posh place so that you wouldn’t be disturbed. So that you wouldn’t be caught.

The last thought right there gave you a powerful bang in your chest, and it only multiplied when the handsome man turned his head to look at you, his eyes soft as he smiled down at you. “I figured you aren’t the type to like crowded places,” he said, breaking the comfortable silence.

You scoffed playfully. “Another good guess. Are you like a mind reader or something?”

Pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he laughed. “Could be? Sometimes you are quite an open book to me.”

“That sounds like we know each other for a long time, Baekhyun.” ssi, you added in your mind, the idea of being comfortable with him still foreign to you.

Few seconds passed by when he finally hummed. That hum that made wonders to you. “I kinda wish I did.”

Freezing for a brief moment, you dared to look at him with wide eyes. Biting your lip, you tried to come up with a reply quickly, but he faced you as well and stole your breath away. That pull, the attraction was suddenly ignited. “You can always amend that,” was what you managed to say. Inhaling deeply, you continued: “Is that why you… ehm, you gave in a word for my favour at the magazine?”

This time it was Baekhyun who froze, definitely not expecting you to know this information. It was supposed to be between him and you’re editor-in-chief. “I-”

“What is your plan, Baekhyun?” you didn’t let him speak. “Because…” you trailed off, suddenly your emotions on fire. “Because I want to be straightforward with you, as you know by now. You like me, I know that. But is this a game?”

“No!” his whole body turned to you, deep frown etched into his forehead. “I didn’t know you could misinterpret me asking you out on a date as a form of, what, mockery?”

Inside, you knew he already explained himself to you, so that was why you beat yourself up for starting this subject again, but you couldn’t help it. Your insecurities were skyrocketing and it didn’t make sense for him to be interested in someone so lowly when he had all the glitter and shine within a reach of his hand. “I didn’t say mockery,” you said. Opening your mouth to continue, he cut you off, stepping closer.

“What about you? Do you like me?”

You went silent, while your ragged breathing was answering him for you. Not breaking eye contact once, he nodded. “You know, I will need you to confirm with words.”

Starting to shake your head, scared that he caught you, you felt the need to explain, but you could only stutter: “It’s not that- I mean I don’t-ah! You are a famous personality,” you exclaimed, getting evidently defensive. “Why would you think I won’t snap a picture of you and post it on SNS and just, I don’t know, expose you?”

“You wouldn’t.”

“What makes you so confident?” you dared him, your voice dropping in challenge.

“I trust you.”

“That should be a difficult phrase to say, coming from someone like you. A-list celebrity and artist.”

He kept looking at you, analysing you, but his stance was still confident and honest. “I could be just a normal man if you didn’t look at my job.”

“Don’t they usually talk about jobs on the first dates?”

He was quiet but he smiled, crossing his arms over his chest. “I feel honoured you finally consider this as an actual first date, miss.”

Scoffing, you looked away for a second but turned your gaze right back to him, him always being the magnet of your eyes. “You still didn’t answer me, mister.”

A playful glint shone in his eye. “To which question again?”

You sighed but you were entertained and butterflies were fluttering in your lower tummy at the situation you found yourself in. “Why would you trust me… I honestly don’t know.”

“You aren’t ready for my answer, yet.”

At that, you frowned. “What does that mean?”

He shrugged, grinning pridefully. “Exactly what I said.”

“But-”

“You will have to come out for another date, or two-” he stopped abruptly, thinking for a second, his eyes up on the sky before dropping back to your eager orbs, “or three or four, to find out the answer.”

“Till then, I will have you alllllll exposed to the world,” you whispered darkly, widening your eyes at him.

That night, Baekhyun laughed the loudest.

-

Work, although your favourite thing, suddenly became a small dread and a difficult task to fulfill. Whatever transcriptions you had to do, meetings to attend, come up with ideas and make sure you were growing as an editor and future writer, you needed to speed up your game - or at least keep it up, since the feature with Baekhyun earned you quite the plus points with the editor-in-chief. It was only natural you did not want to disappoint her by any chance.

But you were very, very distracted.

This distraction was there nonstop. If not actively on your mind, then lurking in the back of it, always rudely intruding your train of thoughts about work, your line of work and basically everything that was involving anything in every minute of your waking hour.

Your hand would literally shake, your heart painfully jumping at any vibration of your phone and whenever his name was uttered at work (because you were still perfecting the interview and the pictorial for the release) you would quite literally jump in your chair, looking around frantically hoping to