In reality, the summer following Dahyun’s freshman year was unremarkable. She went on long bike rides and read beneath trees when the weather was good; when it wasn’t, she played card games with her parents and practiced piano. The days were not distinct from one another, and soon they faded into one grey-toned stretch of simple human existence, no more, no less. And Dahyun tried to remind herself everyday, lest her feelings get too far away from her, that this was how she’d spent every summer since she could remember. That she didn’t need to feel sad, or abandoned, or lonely. Because she wasn’t any of those things. She was fine. This was normal.

One of the annoying habits of good things is that they can come so subtly, exist just below perception, and then only be painfully obvious once they’ve disappeared. And the more abrupt the disappearance, the harder it is to convince yourself that the good thing wasn’t really all that good in the first place. Especially when the good thing sends you near-daily text messages in the group chat you share with her.

Denial can only carry you so far in a case like this, but Dahyun made it her personal mission of the summer to test denial’s stamina. She didn’t see any other option for going forward. At some point during the school year, she had been lulled into a false sense of security, allowed herself to view her feelings for Sana as harmless, as opposed to the precarious powderkeg they actually were. She had blinded herself to the danger they posed for the sake of chasing acceptance where none would ever be found, and these feelings would remain a glaring vulnerability until Dahyun began to view them with appropriate caution. So she crafted her master plan.

Kim Dahyun’s Master Plan for Viewing Feelings for Minatozaki Sana with Appropriate Caution (Title subject to change)

1. Make a valiant effort to forget feelings entirely and hope they stop happening.
2. In the event that step 1 is unsuccessful, try it for another week and see if any progress is made. Repeat until progress is made.
3. Delete the emojis from her contact name in your phone because she put the glittery pink heart there without your permission and it makes your stomach flutter every time it appears in your notifications.
4. Respond in the group chat cordially and with warmth, but invite no further conversation or requests to “meet up” or “hang out.”
5. If requests are made, respond regretfully but solidly in the negative (cite family camping trips, church meetings, fashion malfunctions, etc.)
6. Never, under any circumstances, indulge the possibility that she feels the same way. Even when she invites you to the beach or tries to bring you cookies to cheer you up after “your favorite jeans got singed on a family camping trip and you have to spend all day fixing them.” She is in a relationship, and you are delusional.

Now, Dahyun prided herself on her planning abilities. They had carried her through many a jam-packed week, expertly managing to find time for homework, cheer practice, piano, and at least one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer per day. But this master plan was not accomplishing nearly as much as she might have hoped. As both creator and sole follower of said master plan, one might claim that the fault for such inefficiency could only lie with her, and to that Dahyun would respond, shut up.

She knew from the beginning that step 1 was a bit of a long shot, hence the inclusion of step 2, but she really did try her best. Her attempts to forget Sana’s smile, or her laugh, or the way she made Dahyun feel like a person worthy of respect and love, proved futile despite her best efforts. Try as she might, her heart persistently skipped a beat at the remembrance of Sana’s every little quality, quirk, or attribute. It was clear that she was too far gone to ever get over her feelings via brute-force forgetfulness, though admittedly that should have been obvious when she started crafting master plans relating to the topic. 

Texting posed the next wrench in Dahyun’s plan, as despite the fact that Dahyun deleted all emojis related to Sana (and Momo, for good measure) from her contacts, they sent her plenty of messages to make up for the loss. And the vast majority of those messages contained some sort of plea to join them on a drive, or come get lunch with them, or generally spend extended periods of time in their company. Dahyun managed to keep herself from those entanglements, though not as smoothly as she had imagined, and the requests trickled off over time. Which hurt far more than receiving them had. But oh well.

Intuitive to a fault, Sana and Momo seemed to, by the end of the summer, have picked up on the fact that Dahyun was maybe, just slightly, a little bit avoiding them. But they didn’t proceed to guilt-trip her or demand any explanations. They didn’t mention it at all. They just gave her space, and time, and sent her stupid memes every once and a while. Suffice it to say, they were incredibly kind and caring and the best friends a socially-awkward rising-sophomore could ask for. 

Friends. Boy howdy, that word just would not leave her alone. Dahyun’s relationship with the concept of friends had been a veritable roller coaster for the past year, going from “that’s no big deal” to “maybe that sounds nice” to “I’ve been missing out for my entire life and I can never go back” all in the span of 9 months. As the summer progressed, her feelings on friends settled somewhere between “this is some sick joke the universe is playing on me” and “I need to make the most of it regardless”. 

So Dahyun was coming to terms with it, really. She was able (using the Instagram account Momo had set up for her) to see a picture of Sana and Momo, lounging on a beach in bikinis with smiles brighter than the sunset behind them, and not recoil or shrink away. She liked the photo and left a comment with three crying-laughing emojis, which she got the impression could mean literally anything given the context. Sana liked her comment, and replied with a heart-eyes face. Momo replied with a kissy face. Dahyun took it like a champ. 

So, by the end of the summer, Dahyun had no tan to speak off but, she believed, certainly thicker skin. Never again would she allow herself to be carried off by wishful thinking or delusion. She would have friends, and she would be happy with them. And it would be just fine.

Dahyun spent the entire first week of school on edge. In all fairness, that was typically how she spent the first week of a new school year, but this edge was a very specific edge. This was not the exasperated edge of sudden re-immersion into teenage absurdity, nor was it the intimidating edge of a complete new round of adults to impress. No, this was the frantic, jittery edge dedicated to Sana and Momo. 

Though she had been moderately successful in putting off this inevitable collision for months, Dahyun quickly found avoidance no longer a viable strategy within the confines of school. For one thing, Sana and Momo seemed to be everywhere. Their laughs echoed down crowded hallways, their perfume lingered in Chemistry classrooms. Every swishing ponytail, every approaching footstep belonged to them. She might have been going insane, but Dahyun felt haunted, without having caught so much as a glimpse of them since school started.

That was about to change however. Jihyo announced in the cheer group chat that the annual strategy session would be hosted at her house on Friday. Dahyun knew all about the annual strategy session. Every girl on the squad had some wild anecdote, involving some combination of drunken mistakes and broken bones, that could be traced back to the annual strategy session. It was supposed to be really fun. Dahyun was on edge.

Her mom dropped her off at Jihyo’s house, with a parting kiss on the cheek and a stern warning not to make any bad decisions. Dahyun nodded along mutely, reconsidering her decision to accept her mom’s offer of a ride. She’d recently acquired her driver’s license and was fairly comfortable with the ordeal of driving, but she didn’t believe in her ability to actually arrive at the meeting under such intense pressure. It’d be a miracle if she’d made it out of the garage. And that lack of faith proved reasonable, seeing as she stood at the end of Jihyo’s driveway for a solid ten minutes, summoning the gargantuan amounts of effort necessary to propel herself towards the front door. Pressing the doorbell nearly threw out her back. 

Over the ringing in her ears, Dahyun could hardly hear the doorbell chime. She had just barely pulled her hand back when the door swung open, and Dahyun found herself engulfed in a soft, lemon-scented cloud of pink.

“Dahyunnie, I missed you so much!”

Dahyun inhaled sharply, the pressure in her chest pouring out like a burst balloon. Sana pulled away from the hug, holding Dahyun at arms length to get a good look at her.

“Did you get taller?”

“I, uh,” Dahyun stammered. Her eyes struggled to focus, take in the sight before her. “You dyed your hair.”

Sana nodded, giggling and offering her hair for Dahyun to feel. It was silky and light, smooth to the touch. Dahyun couldn’t breathe.

“Correction.” Momo appeared from behind, with a smirk on her face and a bowl of brownie batter in her arms. “ I dyed her hair. Did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. I want to hug you too, Dahyunnie, but my arms are kind of occupied at the moment.”

“It’s alright,” Dahyun murmured, hesitantly meeting Momo’s eye. She just grinned in return and nodded back towards the kitchen.

“I’m sure Sana can hug you enough for the two of us. Come on in, we’re all waiting on you.”

With Sana’s hands around her waist steering her forward, Dahyun made her way towards the kitchen, following the sound of music and laughter. The entire cheer team, excepting those who had graduated, were clustered around the room, drinks in hand and smiles on faces. Catching sight of Dahyun, they all turned. 

“Hey, Dahyun!”

“Dubs, it’s been so long!”

“Did you like the tiktoks I sent you?”

Too overwhelmed to answer, Dahyun just blushed, her heart swelling with barely restrained joy. Maybe she hadn’t realized just how much she missed them. Or hadn’t let herself realize.

“Welcome to the party!” Nayeon shouted. “Now that you’re here, things can really get started!”

She pressed a can of something into Dahyun’s hand and cranked up the volume on the speaker. The squad went back to their talking, dancing, or whatever drinking game they’d been playing. A laugh bubbled up in Dahyun’s throat, unrestrained and restless after being contained for so long.

“Sure is some excellent strategizing happening here,” she said.

Sana shrugged, swaying her back and forth to the music. “That’s what the first practice is for.”

Momo slid her tray of brownies into the oven, handing Dahyun a spatula covered in batter. She nodded at the can in Dahyun’s hand. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.”

Dahyun stared at it blankly. “Are you drinking?” 

“She’s the designated driver,” Sana said into Dahyun’s ear, reaching around to steal a swipe of batter from the spatula. “But I’ll be drinking, you won’t be doing it alone. We’ll make sure you’re safe.”

Maybe it was the euphoria of returning to cheer, or of having friends again, or simply the warm press of Sana against her back, but Dahyun found herself lit up with recklessness. She popped the tab on the can and took a deep sip. It tasted like raspberries and sunshine. 

“Good?” Momo smirked.

Dahyun beamed. “Incredible.”

Having skipped the end of the year party, Dahyun had yet to get the chance to see the cheer squad at their peak, intoxicated energy. But as the night progressed and they all just let loose, Dahyun could clearly see the effects the alcohol was having on them. Nayeon and Jeongyeon finally ceased their bickering, choosing instead to alternate between sappy compliments and passionate dance battles. Mina was more loud and outgoing than Dahyun had ever seen her, singing along to the music and pulling Momo into some dance they both knew but Dahyun didn’t recognize. Sana got impossibly more clingy, and dedicated as she was to making sure Dahyun was being safe and having a good time, she hardly left her side. Dahyun, well, she just went red in the face and stayed that way for the duration of the night.

Jihyo was probably the most reasonable drunk of the group. She had skipped vice-captaincy entirely and become Sana’s co-captain as a junior, which was a responsibility she took very seriously. She made a few attempts, between spontaneous karaoke performances and creative shot contests, to have genuine discussion with them about planning for the year, but inevitably they were derailed.

“I think we should hold tryouts next week and try to have our first practice the week after that,” she said, speaking up to be heard over the music and only slurring her words slightly. The few that were paying attention, gathered in a loose circle on the living room carpet, all nodded along. Then Sana let out a cry that could only be described as distraught.

“No,” she moped, leaning into Dahyun’s neck and squeezing tight around her middle. “We can’t get new members, then Dahyunnie’s not going to be the baby anymore.”

It looked like tears were about to start flowing soon, and Dahyun floundered in Sana’s arms, trying fruitlessly to console her. Thankfully, Momo swooped in before it got too bad, pulling Sana away.

“Don’t worry, Dahyun’s always going to be the baby,” she soothed, shooting Dahyun an apologetic look. “Here, have a brownie.”

Maybe in her sober state, Dahyun would have been horribly flustered by that comment, blushed bright red and stammered like a fool, but she was feeling dizzy and light, and was already bright red, and instead she started laughing and didn’t stop. Momo chuckled along with her, subtly prying her almost-empty can from her hand. The laughs progressed into hiccups and then her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch and the room flipped upside down. Head swimming, she clung to Momo’s arm, trying to make everything stop spinning. 

“Alright, I think you two need to get home.” Momo shouldered the weight of both Sana and Dahyun, pulling them up from the carpet. The last thing Dahyun remembered of the night was hearing Momo thank Jihyo for the party, and then everything melted into black.

The sunrise had never been so spiteful as it was that morning. Light scraped at the inside of Dahyun’s pounding skull, no amount of squinting or scowling making it stop. Dahyun buried her face in her pillow, burrowing deeper into lemon-scented softness. She tongued at her aching teeth, the festering taste on her tongue complimented foully by the dryness of . With a long groan, she clung even tighter to her pillow, as if that would make the torture stop. 

Her pillow let out a sleepy grumble in response.

Dahyun jerked back, catching a bright flash of pink before she collided with the wall, solidly smacking her already throbbing head. The wall wrapped its arms around her and pulled her closer.

“Dahyunnie, it’s so early, calm down.”

With her racing heart and burning eyes, calm seemed a distant memory to Dahyun, a dream she half remembered but would never have again. From what she could piece together of the previous night and her current predicament, she had gotten absolutely, blackout drunk at the first party she’d ever been to and wound up in some bed with Sana and, to make an educated guess about the toned biceps currently encircling her torso, Momo . They weren’t at her house, she had no idea where she was actually, and she was about four inches away from Sana’s face. In a bed. With Sana’s girlfriend cuddling her. She wriggled out of Momo’s grasp and rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling as her head rippled with spikes of pain. Did every hangover come with this much guilt, or was she just that bad at drinking?

Sana giggled as she opened her eyes, bringing her hand up to rest on Momo’s shoulder. Dahyun found herself squished between them as they shared a groggy, good-morning peck. She kept her eyes on the ceiling.

“Momo, can you go get the baby some pain medicine? This is going to be a rough morning for her.”

“Which one of you is the baby again?” Momo asked as she rolled out of bed.

“Obviously Dahyunnie,” Sana said, punctuating the sentence with a tap to the tip of Dahyun’s nose. “But if you’d like to get your other baby some aspirin too, she wouldn’t protest.”

Momo snorted. “Coming right up. Sana, can you fill her in on what happened last night? I doubt she remembers a thing.” 

Dahyun swallowed thickly. “Something happened?” she asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of her tone.

“Nothing bad,” Sana soothed, running her hand up and down Dahyun’s arm. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Rubbing her eyes, Dahyun struggled to remember anything of the night, other than Sana giggling against her neck and the feeling of Momo’s eyes on them and the taste of brownie mixed with electricity and unrepentant joy. 

“Uh, leaving the party, kind of.”

Sana nodded. “Well, Momo drove us to her house. That’s normally what we do after parties. We would have dropped you at yours, but you weren’t in any state to give us your address and besides, we didn’t think you wanted your parents to see you drunk. We sent them a text from your phone though, they gave us permission to have a sleepover.”

Dahyun pushed herself up on her elbows, leaning against the headboard. “Did I act really stupid? I’m sorry.”

“No, no, you were fine,” Sana said. “You were just a bit out of it.”

“Actually, I think we need to talk.” Momo said seriously, entering the room with a pill bottle and two glasses of water intricately balanced in her arms. She handed the water to Sana and tipped two pills into Dahyun’s palm. “I really thought we were friends, Dahyun, I can’t believe you’d make moves on my girlfriend.”

Dahyun’s eyes shot open. Nearly knocking the water from Sana’s hands, she lurched forward, panicking. 

“What? I’m so sorry, Momo, you know I’d never—”

“Actually,” Sana interrupted sternly, “I’m the one who needs to talk to you. I can’t believe you’d make moves on my girlfriend.”

Dahyun blinked. “I… what?”

They dissolved into giggles, sharing their little joke as Dahyun’s head swam with confusion. In her dazed state, Sana managed to gently unfurl Dahyun’s palm and make her take the two pills, bringing one of the cups up her lips so she could wash them down.

“You didn’t really do anything,” Momo soothed. “You and Sana were both wasted, you just started to get a bit touchy when we carried you inside.”

“And then you pulled Momo into bed with us when she tried to sleep on the couch,” Sana added. “Which is very chivalrous of you, might I add, even if you were drunk and whining about how you didn’t want to be alone with me.”

“Oh, I’m,” Dahyun stuttered, cheeks burning. “I’m sorry for all of that. I didn’t mean to be such a hassle.”

“No hassle whatsoever, Dahyunnie,” Momo said. “Sometimes I don’t want to be alone with Sana either.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re worse than Dahyun even when you’re sober.”

Sana giggled, conceding the point and pulling Momo in for a cuddle. Dahyun shifted away from them, diverting her gaze around the room. Momo’s room was a bit of a mess, clothes scattered around the floor and an avalanche of unorganized papers covering her desk. But the essence of the room was very comfortable, fairy lights and plushies and a wall papered with polaroids of her and Sana, spanning the years they’d known each other. Turning back to look at them, they might as well have been posing for one of those photos, wrapped up in one another, prepared to be immortalized. Dahyun’s heart twinged.

“I should probably go,” she said, heaving herself out of the bed. A wave of nausea nearly swept her off her feet, setting her back a few steps.

“Alright, yeah, let me get dressed,” Momo said, extracting herself from Sana’s grip.

“What? No, you don’t have to,” Dahyun insisted, though the weakness in her voice wasn’t very convincing.

“I don’t have to get dressed?” Momo asked suggestively.

“No, I meant—”

“I agree with Dahyun,” Sana announced. “I don’t think you should ever get dressed.”

Momo snickered. “You’re really sweet, but I probably shouldn't meet Dahyun’s parents for the first time in a crop top and pajama shorts. I don’t think that’d make a very good impression.”

“It’s making a good enough impression on me.”

Dahyun rubbed at her eyes, trying to clear the spots from her vision and erase any thoughts she was having about Momo in a crop top and pajama shorts. Or meeting her parents. “I meant you don’t need to drive me, I can walk or something.”

“You don’t even know where you are,” Momo said. “Come on, I’ll buy you some breakfast to help with that hangover.”

“If you’re getting breakfast, I want to come too.” Sana heaved herself out of bed. “It’ll be fun, we can have a little pajama party.”

“I’m not even wearing pajamas.” Dahyun looked down at her jeans and sleep-rumpled shirt. She looked up to a face-full of blue and green fabric.

“Get changed, Dahyunnie, I’m going to ask my parents to borrow the car.” Momo ducked out the door, leaving Dahyun staring at the Monsters Inc themed pajama set she was holding.

Sana whined. “She gave you the good pajamas.” 

Clutching tightly to the soft fabric in her hands, Dahyun tried to protest that there was no reason for her to change into pajamas after she’d already woken up, and they didn’t have to take her to breakfast, and she could probably bike home or something, but Sana wasn’t going to hear it. She’d already covered her eyes and turned around, allowing Dahyun all the privacy she could get in such a small room. Dahyun heaved a sigh and started tugging off her jeans.

“Hey, Dahyun?”

Dahyun eyed Sana’s back cautiously. She was rocking back and forth on the tips of her toes, almost nervously. It made her hair bounce.

“Yes, Sana?”

“I just wanted to say that I’m really happy that we got to hang out again. I don’t know if you want to talk about whatever happened over summer, you totally don’t have to if you don’t want to, but Momo and I missed you a lot. I guess I just wanted to say thanks, and sorry if we did something wrong.”

Dahyun froze, shirt halfway buttoned. Clearing , she said, “You didn’t do anything wrong. I should be apologizing to you. I don’t know, I was just going through something over the summer, I didn’t mean to make you feel like it was your fault.”

“How about neither of us apologizes and you let us take you to breakfast without complaining?”

“I—” Dahyun started, and then sighed. “Yeah, sure. Deal.”

“Dahyunnie?”

“Sana?”

“Do you have clothes on?”

“Uh…” Dahyun finished her last few buttons. “Yeah, I do now.”

Sana turned around and launched herself over the bed, pulling Dahyun into a hug. It wasn’t the shivering, frantic, excited kind of hug she normally gave. It was tight, and steady, and really warm. Her hair was really pink and she smelled like lemons. And when Momo discovered them like that, she folded herself against Dahyun’s back without even asking why. Dahyun mentally found her list of rules, examined it closely, and crumpled it into a ball. She chucked that ball as far away as she could, and sank deeper into the hug.

Despite the fact that Dahyun spent a night in bed with Sana and Momo and the world did not actually explode, nor did Dahyun end up heartbroken, she still felt like it would be healthy for her to not be so fixated on them all the time. The opportunity to fixate on something else presented itself readily, in the form of one of their newest additions to the squad.

Chou Tzuyu was soft spoken, passionate, quick to smile, and all around adorable. Everyone in the squad quickly took a liking to her, including Sana, though she maintained that Dahyun would always be the baby of the team. And trailing behind the new member was her scowling, disaffected best friend Son Chaeyoung, who couldn’t care less about cheerleading and had the least subtle crush imaginable on Tzuyu. Dahyun immediately made a plan.

Kim Dahyun’s Master Plan For Helping Tzuyu And Chaeyoung Start Dating And Also For Thinking About Things That Aren’t Sana and Momo

(Really need to work on these titles)

• Help Tzuyu and Chaeyoung start dating

• Think about things that aren’t Sana and Momo

Admittedly it was not some of her best work. 

But things managed to work out in the end. After 3 months, a nice birthday party, a disaster of a basketball game, and only one person getting suspended, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were happily coupled up and Chaeyoung had relaxed her disdain for cheerleading enough to take a position as squad manager.

Now, Chaeyoung’s obvious motive for accepting the manager position was to keep an eye on Tzuyu. Cheer was an equal parts dangerous and time consuming sport, and hanging out on the sidelines of every practice allowed her to spend plenty of time with her girlfriend, as well as prevent said girlfriend from breaking any bones. Her more nefarious motive, revealed only after she’d been granted the role, was her need to tease Dahyun constantly and for all things.

See, Dahyun had, very foolishly in hindsight, revealed to Chaeyoung her feelings for Sana (it had been important in the moment, alright?) and Chaeyoung, being the stalwart and true friend that she was, waited a whole week before mercilessly making fun of her for it. It seemed to be her greatest passion in life, behind art and taking aesthetic photos of Tzuyu. She took any opportunity available to her, like in this moment, where Dahyun’s eyes might have maybe drifted towards Sana for just a second, and wasted no time before pouncing.

“Christ, stop drooling, it’s not fair to the janitors to make them do all that extra work.”

Dahyun shot her a scowl, which was not amongst her most convincing facial gestures, and Chaeyoung met it with a grin.

“I’m not drooling,” Dahyun insisted. “I was just thinking Sana looked a bit thirsty. You should get on that.”

Brushing aside the dig at her glorified water bottle girl status, Chaeyoung’s grin only widened. 

“Oh, she looks thirsty, does she? Maybe you should go over and help her.”

“Oh, shut up.” Dahyun shoved Chaeyoung backwards, where she collapsed dramatically in her girlfriend’s lap. Tzuyu had sprained her ankle (allegedly; she insisted she was fine, but Chaeyoung wasn’t having it) and was joining them on the sidelines that practice. Dahyun had hoped this would give her an ally against Chaeyoung’s shenanigans, but unfortunately it hadn’t panned out that way. Tzuyu, though kinder and less likely to spray Dahyun with water, seemed to agree with Chaeyoung that she should “do something” about her “feelings” for Sana. Which was patently ridiculous and Dahyun refused to hear another word about it.

Leaning against Tzuyu’s shoulder, Chaeyoung bemoaned, “Did you hear that, Tzu? The chicken told me to shut up.”

“I’m an eagle and you know it,” Dahyun huffed, ruffling her feathers for emphasis. 

“No,” Chaeyoung said, leaning forward. “You’re a chicken. Why don’t you just tell her?”

Dahyun recoiled, frowning deeply. “What? What do you mean ‘why don’t I just tell her?’ You know exactly why I can’t do that.” Following Dahyun’s pointed look across the room, the trio watched as Sana and Momo successfully completed a formation and celebrated with loud cheers and a hug. Dahyun looked away, trying not to let it hurt. Because she could handle this now. She had to be able to handle it.

Chaeyoung shared an exasperated look with her girlfriend. Tzuyu sighed.

“I don’t know,” she said. “It might not go as bad as you think it will.”

“I’m sorry, are we talking about the same people?” Dahyun asked. “I swear, I’ve never seen two people so completely in love, I can’t be the one that ruins that.”

“Well, I’ve never seen two people so willing to bring a ‘friend’ on all of their dates,” Chaeyoung said.

Dahyun frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chaeyoung opened to respond, but Tzuyu cut her off. “I think what Chaeyoung is trying to say is, why do you think you’re going to ruin it?”

“Well, the best case scenario if I confess is that Sana returns my feelings, which is already incredibly unlikely in the first place. But then what? They break up? That’d be horrible. They’ve been together for years, they care so much about each other, they're clearly meant to be together forever. And honestly? I care a lot about Momo too. She’s one of my favorite people in the world. She’s never been anything but nice to me even as I pined after her girlfriend. She always makes me feel included. I just can’t, I refuse to hurt her like that. She’s an angel. So I’m just not going to say anything.”

As she finished, Dahyun curled in on herself, clearly declaring the matter finished. After sharing another look, Tzuyu reached out, resting her hand on Dahyun’s shoulder.

“Dahyun, have you considered that maybe you like Momo too?”

There was a pregnant pause. Dahyun looked up, expecting some sort of smile or laugh to indicate that this was all some poorly-thought-out joke, but Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were serious. She had to look away again, too many emotions and thoughts swirling around her brain too quickly. She couldn’t process them and maybe she didn’t want to process them. It felt like being drunk at that party, the room spinning and her eyes unable to focus and Momo’s arms gently pulling her up from the ground.

“I…” Dahyun swallowed, trying to clear the blockage from . “What?”

“You can like more than one person at once, you know,” Chaeyoung said, very matter-of-factly.

“Well, yeah, I know that, I just…” Dahyun trailed off.

Tzuyu rested a hand on her shoulder. “Dahyun, you’re an amazing person and you deserve love just as much as anybody else. You shouldn’t deprive yourself of an opportunity to be happy just because you’re afraid that it might not go well.”

Dahyun leant away from Tzuyu’s touch, denying herself the offered support and resting her head in her hands. “Even if I did like Momo, and I’m not saying that I do, there’s no way they’d even like me back, okay? Right? That’s ridiculous.”

Dahyun didn’t even have to look up to know that Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were shooting each other a glance. Chaeyoung sighed.

“Listen, we can’t say anything for sure, and we can’t make this call for you either. But just think about it, okay? If anyone has enough love to share, it’s those two.”

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s words refused to leave Dahyun’s mind, no matter how hard she tried to evict them. She shouldn’t have been surprised. Repression had never been much help to her anyways, especially not where Sana and Momo were concerned. Downtrodden and emotionally worn out, she simply had to lay back and let her thoughts chase each other around her head. She wasn’t going to engage, she certainly wasn’t going to do anything about them. But she let them run, and that felt like progress all the same. 

Thankfully, she was offered a bit of reprieve by cheer. It’s harder to think about Sana and Momo when she’s trying to memorise all the steps for the newest routine. And the costume significantly impaired her peripheral vision, so even if they were less than 10 feet from her, cuddling or canoodling or whatever, she didn’t have to see it. It didn’t stop her from imagining it, but it was something.

At a basketball game a week later, halftime rapidly approaching and Dahyun priding herself for doing a particularly good job at not noticing Sana or Momo, Jihyo’s brow suddenly furrowed.

“Has anyone seen Sana or Momo?”

Damn it, no wonder she was doing so well.

“I haven’t seen them,” Jeongyeon said, and was joined by a chorus of agreement from the rest of the squad.

Dahyun pried her head off, shaking out her hair. “Where do you think they went? It’s almost halftime.”

Chaeyoung snickered from the sidelines. “Why don’t you go look for them?”

“Shut up,” Dahyun groaned, but Jihyo perked up.

“Actually, Dahyun, could you? They’ve been acting weird all day. It’s alright if they can’t perform, I just want to know if they’re okay.”

Dahyun opened to object, but at the look in Jihyo’s eyes, gently demanding, she just sighed. 

“Yeah, sure, I can go.”

Jihyo smiled. “Thank you, Dahyun. Just check the locker rooms, that’s the only place they could really be.”

Moments later, Dahyun paused at the locker room door, cringing as she remembered what happened the last time she’d walked in on Sana and Momo in this room. The months of conflict, the mental anguish it had inspired. She took a slow breath, squeezing her eyes tight, and pushed the door open. Whatever happened now couldn’t possibly be that bad.

The room seemed silent, but as she made her way down the hall, Dahyun heard a sound that made her stop dead in her tracks. Murmuring, gentle and distinctly Sana, just slightly louder than the subtle but clear sound of someone crying. She shouldn’t peek right? But she couldn’t turn around and leave without it being plainly obvious that someone had entered the locker room. On light feet, she tread to the end of the hall and glanced into the locker room proper.

Momo was slumped against Sana’s shoulder, deep sobs wracking her body, her hands limp and shaking in her lap. Sana had her in a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles into her back, her brow creased in a concerned frown.

“I’m sorry,” Momo choked, refusing to meet her girlfriend’s eye. “I didn’t mean to, please, I’m so sorry, don’t leave me-”

Sana shushed her gently. “Momo, baby, I’d never leave you, it’s going to be okay.”

“I didn’t mean to be selfish, I love you so much-”

“I love you too, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

Sana brought up a hand and wiped away Momo’s tears, blinking away some of her own as she did. Dahyun fell back against the wall, her heart pounding in her ears. What happened? Why is Momo crying, why is she afraid they’re going to break up, what happened? Over the throbbing in her ears, she didn’t hear the sound of Momo regaining her breath or the two girls standing up. Too late, she realized she was trapped. 

Momo turned the corner, and her eyes flew wide.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Dahyun just managed to get out before Momo scampered away, shoulders shaking even more as she left. Sana rounded the corner next and met Dahyun with the same shocked look.

“Oh,” she gasps, voice faint and breathy. “Dahyun.”

“Hey,” Dahyun said, awkwardly.

Sana folded her arms across her chest. “How much did you hear?”

“Nothing!” Dahyun said. “Well, not much. I just got here. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, Jihyo told me to come find you and she said you’d probably be in here and I didn’t realize what you guys were doing and I have no idea what you guys were talking about or anything like that but—” She paused to breathe. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sana said, taking a deep breath and regaining a bit of her composure. “You don’t need to be sorry, it was an honest mistake.”

“I’m afraid I made it worse though,” Dahyun said. “Momo looked really upset when she saw me and I think she started crying more and—”

“It’s not your fault, Dahyun,” Sana said, gentle but inflexible.

Dahyun nodded reluctantly. “Is she going to be okay?”

Sana’s gaze drifted to the door at the end of the hall, as if her eyes could see through it and follow the retreating shape of her girlfriend. “Yeah, yeah, she’ll be fine. She’s strong.”

“Are… are you two going to be okay?” Dahyun asked quietly.

Sana’s gaze snapped back to Dahyun, something calculating, considerate pooling in her eyes. Then she summoned a smile, weak and watery and not altogether honest, from where, Dahyun couldn’t say.

“Yeah, I think we’ll be just fine. You don’t need to worry about us.” She pressed a kiss to Dahyun’s cheek, a soft, burning wisp of contact. “Now I’m going to go find her.”

Frozen in place for a second, Dahyun just managed to turn and call after Sana as she opened the door. “Jihyo said you don’t have to perform, by the way.”

“Thank you, Dahyun,” Sana said back, and she said it like it was the most sincere thing she’d ever felt.

Momo approached Dahyun at her locker the next day. Neither of them seemed prepared for it. 

“Hey, Dahyun, I just wanted to apologize for what you walked in on yesterday.” Momo’s voice was tight and brittle, on the verge of cracking. Her speech was almost certainly rehearsed.

“Actually, I wanted to apologize to you,” Dahyun said. “You don’t need to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well, you didn’t do anything wrong either.”

“Well…”

Momo sighed, her chest heaving. “Sana and I need to talk to you about something. Could you meet us before practice this afternoon?”

Dahyun chuckled nervously. “Am I in trouble?”

“No.” Momo said quickly. “No, of course not. We just need to talk to you. And please say yes. If you don’t show, Sana’s going to think I chickened out of asking you.”

“Why would you chicken out?”

Momo tensed. “No reason. I have to go. Please show up. Or don’t, if you don’t want to. Oh god, I have to go. Goodbye, Dahyunnie.”

“And then she just left! That’s weird, right?”

Chaeyoung nodded her agreement. “Yeah, that’s pretty weird. Not as weird as you pulling me into this bathroom against my will so you could vent about your crush, but still pretty weird.”

Dahyun groaned, leaning her head back against the tile wall. “That’s not helpful. I don’t know what I did.”

“Why are you so sure you did anything?” Chaeyoung asked.

“Momo doesn’t act like that. I’m the one who acts like that! I mean, we’ve talked about how she’s been shy in the past, but there’s no reason that one day she’d be all bold and friendly and the next she can hardly look me in the eye.” Dahyun ran her fingers anxiously through her hair. 

“You’re going to go bald if you keep that up,” Chaeyoung commented. “She’s probably just embarrassed. You walked in on a clearly private moment, it’s understandable. And then you told me about it, which was not your coolest move ever.”

“Oh god, do you think they know that I told you and the meeting is so they can tell me they don’t want to be friends anymore?”

“Considering you told me after Momo asked you to meet, I think that’s almost impossible.” Chaeyoung placed her hands solidly on Dahyun’s shoulders, forcing her to meet her eye. “Also, they love you, they aren’t going to give it up just like that, especially when they’ve both told you to stop worrying about it. It’s probably not that big of a deal. Can I go back to my girlfriend now?”

Dahyun’s eye went wide.“Chaeng, what if they broke up?” 

“What?”

“Momo seemed really afraid that they were going to break up. What else could make her that nervous? They’ve called a meeting to tell me that they’ve broken up,” Dahyun said, frantically.

Chaeyoung groaned. “That’s not a thing that people do, Dahyun.”

The bell rang out over head and the hallways outside filled with the sound of students fleeing the school in droves. Dahyun flinched.

“It’s going to be fine,” Chaeyoung assured. Dahyun nodded along, but didn’t believe her in the slightest.

Nothing good ever happened in the locker room. As Dahyun slowly pushed open the door and made her way down the hall, she kept an ear out for the sound of tears. There was nothing. And when she rounded the corner, she was not met with the sight of Sana and Momo pressed up against the lockers. They sat quietly together on the bench, hands in their laps, waiting for Dahyun to arrive. 

“Hey,” Dahyun said. Sana and Momo shared a look, and Dahyun’s heart hammered a staccato beat on the bars of her ribcage.

Sana spoke first. “Dahyun, we have something we’d like to share with you. Need to share with you.” 

“Okay…” Dahyun replied.

Looking to Momo, Sana said quietly, “Do you want me to or should you…” Momo shrugged, barely able to look at either of them.

“Guys, what’s going on?” Dahyun asked, trying to be gentle. “You’re kinda freaking me out.”

“Okay, I can just—” Sana grabbed Momo’s hand and squeezed tight. Looking back to Dahyun she said, “We like you.”

Silence spanned the distance between them. Momo leaned into Sana, finally able to look up at Dahyun to gauge her reaction. Whatever she saw apparently invigorated a bit of her confidence, because she sat up straighter. Dahyun couldn’t imagine what it was, because she hardly understood how she was feeling herself, let alone what she was showing on her face.

“What?” Dahyun asked. “That’s what you wanted to tell me?”

Sana surveyed her hesitantly. “Yes? What did you think we were going to say?”

“I thought you were going to say that you’d broken up,” Dahyun said, but the words seemed foolish even as they left . Sana snorted, and Momo even managed to crack a little smile.

“Oh, God no,” Sana said. “No, never, why would you think that?”

“Well, I heard Momo yesterday and I…” Dahyun paused, a thought dawning in her head. “Was that about me?”

Momo nodded, a bit sheepishly. “I hope you can understand why I ran away when I saw you. I thought you knew and I… I don’t know, I was scared.”

“I don’t, I don’t understand,” Dahyun stuttered. “I mean, not about the running away but the, the… what?”

Momo took a deep breath, standing up from the bench. “I’ve liked you since the strategy session. But I mean, I didn’t want to be creepy, because you were drunk and it was your first party and, you know, I had a girlfriend. Have a girlfriend. But it just got to a point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore. And I’ve told Sana everything, all my feelings and secrets and all that, for years, so she noticed that something was up. I had to tell her. And that’s what you walked in on.”

Sana joined her girlfriend, linking their hands once more. 

“For what it’s worth,” she said, “I’ve liked you since this summer. Well, probably before that, but I didn’t realize how strongly I cared for you until you weren’t there anymore. I think we both felt that way. So, you know, if Momo had just told me sooner, we could’ve made this happen way earlier. This is just like the last time—”

“You’ve known first both times,” Momo interjected. “You could’ve just as easily told me.”

“Well, how am I supposed to tell my girlfriend of three years that I have feelings for someone else?”

“I don’t know, maybe you could have just done what I did.”

“Anyway!” Sana said, directing her focus back to Dahyun. “Dahyun. We’ve both liked you for quite some time now. And we’ve talked about it with each other, and we decided you should probably be involved in the conversation too.”

Dahyun was spinning, her mind failing to accept the information laid out before her. 

“So you’re still together? For sure?” she asked.

Momo nodded. “Yes, for sure. 100 precent.”

“And you like me? Both of you? In a romantic way?”

“Well, you can have feelings for more than one person,” Sana said.

“No, I know,” Dahyun said. Trust me, I know. “I just, you both have feelings for me? For me ?”

“Hey,” Momo said, stepping forward and taking one of Dahyun’s hands. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re wonderful and we care a lot about you.”

Dahyun looked down at her hand in Momo’s. “I’m just—”

“You’re not ‘just’ anything.” Sana took hold of the other hand. Their palms were warm, and their smiles were so close. “You’re funny, and you’re brilliant, and you’re adorable. I will not accept you believing anything else. Okay?”

Dahyun bit her lip, a smile sneaking on to her lips, something golden welling up in her chest, anchored by the two hands in her own.

“If you insist,” she said. 

Sana and Momo shared a look. “We do,” they said in unison.

“Now,” Sana said. “Will you please answer the question?”

Dahyun quirked her brow. “Have I been asked a question?”

Sana frowned. “Oh, shoot, right. Momo, you got this?”

Momo nodded. She squared her shoulders, all of her nerves having melted away to reveal the goofy grin Dahyun was so acquainted with. 

“Kim Dahyun,” she said. “Will you go on a date with us? Both of us? In a romantic way?”

Dahyun’s throat was tight, but her heart was soaring, free of the burdens it had been carrying for so long. “Yes, of course,” she said. 

Sana pulled them all into a hug, and Dahyun found herself at the center, surrounded on all sides by warmth and tenderness and care. She sniffed, holding back tears, and she could tell that she was not the only one.

“You’re going to have to tell us when you first caught feelings. It’s only fair,” Momo murmured into Dahyun’s hair. They laughed quietly, subtly.

“How is this going to work?” Dahyun whispered.

She felt two identical intakes of breath around her.

“We’ll figure it out,” Momo said.

“Together,” Sana said.

Dahyun discovered a lot of things through her new relationship. Things about other people: how the cheer squad thinks that they’re adorable and has been rooting for them since freshman year, how Chaeyoung is probably more invested in Dahyun’s love life than she is herself. She thought she knew everything about Sana and Momo already, but there was still a bit more to learn: how it feels when they kiss her up against the lockers after practice, how they look without their shirts on (not that she can really think to much about that one without blushing so hard she’s afraid she’ll blow an artery). But most of all, she learned things about herself.

She learned that she can make friends, that people will like her even if can be loud and silly and doesn’t always know the right thing to say or how to act or when to end her sentences because they’re getting a bit long. She learns that sometimes nerves are helpful and sometimes they are not, but she will end up in the right place no matter what. And she learns that while being invisible has it’s benefits, when Sana and Momo pull off her eagle head at the end of a basketball game and kiss her on each cheek, she feels seen. And maybe being seen has some benefits as well.