Junmyeon spends the next two days unexpectedly away from the palace due to a fire that ravaged a smaller town half a day’s ride from the capital. The weather had been sunny the entire week, so everything had been dry and therefore caught fire easily. By the time he arrived along with Dokyun and another servant, a few handfuls of guards – some to protect him and some to help the town – and a couple of volunteers Gifted with Water, the fire had spread dauntingly wide and the majority of the town’s inhabitants were left homeless. 

He couldn’t do a whole lot with his own Gift, but at least the volunteers he had brought were powerful. Within hours the fires were extinguished with a collective effort from everyone; the Gifted did what they could and the rest fetched water from the two wells and doused the flames where they were less aggressive. 

The aftermath was what kept him away from the palace for so long. He helped the homeless townspeople gather what they could from the remains of their homes and sent scouts ahead to prepare the neighbouring town and the capital for the people that would soon arrive with little else left but their names. He also helped bury the dead.

The following day he talked with a couple of the townspeople who still had homes, some partially burned, and arranged supply waggons to bring the remaining people food and what else they might need. Winter was still months away, but they wouldn’t be able to grow enough crops to last the winter before the frost came, and what of money? With less than fifty people left, it would be a struggle, so Junmyeon planned to send a donation of money and workers to help restore at least parts of the town.

He is back at the palace late afternoon, hungry and drained but overall satisfied. He may not have been as much of a help as the Gifted extinguishing the fire, but he had been there and he had done something, and he would be doing more in the next day or two. The people appreciated him and his presence had eased the worst of their panic once he arrived, so despite aching arms and legs from carrying buckets of water once his Gift ran out and running to and fro, he was happy.

Seeing Baekhyun out of bed is a delight and a welcome sight when he steps through the door an hour after his arrival because he had to stop on the way to exchange words with first Gahyeon, then a minister, then another minister, then a servant, then Minseok, and then Hyoson.

“I’m not allowed to leave the room or Yixing said he’d kill me,” Baekhyun says cheerfully. “So I’m going to stay in here and do exactly as he says. Being able to stretch my legs like this is amazing.”

“Does it hurt to walk?” Junmyeon asks as he takes a seat in the chair he might as well call his second home by now. 

“Nah,” Baekhyun says and comes to stand in front of Junmyeon. “I can feel the wounds in my back pull a bit when I move, but nothing to worry about. Yixing says they’re just about healed, and will leave minimal scarring due to his salves. I love Yixing.”

“Everyone does,” Junmyeon says and smiles. “I’m glad to see you walking.”

“I’m glad I can finally look down on you,” Baekhyun says. He laughs when Junmyeon shoves gently at him. “How was your trip?”

“It went well enough,” Junmyeon says, and tells Baekhyun about the trip in as much detail as necessary. 

He glosses over the deaths, because while there had been blessedly few, the bodies had still been more charred bones or ashes than flesh, and burying them had been miserable work in part due to moving the remains without ending up with a mess of bones (which still couldn’t be avoided in some cases), but mostly because an entire family with three children had died together with a few adults and two other children. Everyone had told him he didn’t have to help, but he had stubbornly refused to stand back and instead shared their labour and grief.

“Sounds like you need a break,” Baekhyun says sympathetically when Junmyeon is done reliving the last two days.

Junmyeon laughs dejectedly. “I can’t. I need to find Jongdae and discuss the new guards for us, and after that I promised Minseok I would take a look at his plans for the ambush on Wu and his mother and share my opinion with him.” He smiles at Baekhyun’s frowny face. “I will be back for supper. It might be a little late, but I will be here. Is that all right?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Nothing I can do to stop you.” He grins. “Not that I would. Do what you must do. We will have time afterwards.”

Junmyeon smiles and gets back on his feet. “Rest soon, my light. Don’t wear yourself out walking the first day you’re allowed to do it.”

“I will try not to,” Baekhyun says. He grabs Junmyeon’s arm and pulls him into a brief kiss, which turns into a tight hug, before he releases him again. “All right. Now I will let you go.”

Junmyeon smiles and says as he heads for the door, “I will be back later.”

“I’ll see you then.”

Junmyeon closes the door behind him and looks towards Chanyeol chatting with Jongdae and Hakyeon. Jongdae notices him first – at least visibly – and smiles. “Ah, are you ready to look over my list?”

“In a moment,” Junmyeon says and approaches the trio. “I wanted to ask Chanyeol how the first couple of days as Baekhyun’s guard have been.”

“About that,” Chanyeol says slowly, and Junmyeon blinks at him. “I need a word with you, Sire.” He looks between Jongdae and Hakyeon and pinches his nose. “Alone, I think.”

Hakyeon and Jongdae share a look and shrug at the same time. “Fair,” Hakyeon says. “I suppose we will stay here and guard Baekhyun, then.”

Junmyeon nods. “Thank you.” To Chanyeol, he says, “Come.”

They walk into another of Yixing’s rooms and Chanyeol closes the door before he turns his attention to Junmyeon.

“Baekhyun’s mood swings a lot,” he starts. “He is talkative most of the time, but then suddenly something he said or I said or something one of us did or – something will cause him a pause, and then he will pull into himself and not say a lot else. It is usually a while before I can get him to talk again.”

Junmyeon knows this, but he nods all the same and patiently allows Chanyeol to continue.

“His sleep is often restless and sometimes he doesn’t sleep at all. He made me promise not to tell you when I caught him yesterday, but…” Chanyeol’s face scrunches up in a grimace. “I can’t… not do that. I don’t know. It felt like a betrayal no matter what I did, and I figured telling you was the better option.”

“I appreciate you telling me this,” Junmyeon says, “but if Baekhyun tells you something in confidentiality that he has not yet told me, you are allowed to keep it from me. I will not hold it against you, nor will I hold it against Baekhyun. I understand that it may sometimes be easier to talk about something with someone you’re not as close to.”

“That is true,” Chanyeol says and purses his lips. “Still, I don’t think telling you about a sleepless night while you were away from the palace will make him dislike me. I don’t know if it happens regularly or if this were because you were away.”

His tongue darts out to at his lips, and he seems to consider what he is going to say next, so Junmyeon lets him ponder without interruption. 

Finally, he says, “There is another thing. Well, two. He told you that he cannot get a hold of his Gift?” Junmyeon nods. “Right. Apparently, they held him somewhere dark and whenever he tried to Lighten up the place, their Null would banish it. Every time. I don’t know more than that, but without making any conclusions, I think it might be why, or partially why, he seems to fear the darkness, particularly being alone in it. There could be trauma connected to using his Gift now, which is why he can’t.”

Junmyeon had noticed Baekhyun flinching more when his eyes were still covered. Sounds startled him and sudden touches would make him tense up. He hasn’t really noticed a fear of darkness since the bandages were removed, but he has always made sure there were candles in the room. Perhaps no one did in his absence and that is how Chanyeol found out.

“All right,” Junmyeon hums. “I will make sure there are always lit candles. As for his Gift, I will ask Yixing.”

Chanyeol nods. “Good, good. The other thing is simply that he flinches every time I reach for him.”

Junmyeon purses his lips. “Are you careful about it? He did it a few times with me, too, but I took notice and made sure to do it slowly while he watched, and sometimes I outright asked. Now I can pretty much move however I want and he doesn’t react in any peculiar way.”

Chanyeol hums. “Might just be me, then. I have been careful, but it’s like he won’t let me touch him. I will try different approaches and see what happens. I’ll let you know.”

“Thank you,” Junmyeon says. “Report back to me with anything you deem is absolutely necessary for me to know, but try not to betray Baekhyun’s trust. I wish he would tell me what happened to him, but I will not force him. I have faith that he will tell me in his own time, and if he tells you before he tells me…” He lets out a little sigh. “Well, at least he will have someone to talk to. I don’t want him to be alone with this, so if you are the person he will finally open up to, then that is fine. A relief, even.”

“You care a lot about him,” Chanyeol says, which makes Junmyeon smile.

“I do.”

“Well,” Chanyeol says and nods towards the door. “I have no more to tell you. Should we get back to them?”

“Might as well,” Junmyeon says.

 

Junmyeon carefully cradles the cup of tea between his hands and listens to the sound of the rain outside. It’s not raining heavily, but now and then Junmyeon catches the faintest clap of thunder. He cannot quite make out if it is getting closer or further away.

“Any thoughts you’d like to share?” Gahyeon asks. She’s sitting next to him with her legs crossed on the bed, a robe of the softest silk slung carelessly around her body to shield her from the cold. She is nursing her own cup of tea, the rim of the porcelain brushing her lips. 

Junmyeon hums. “I’m just listening.”

“Mmh, it’s nice to just do that sometimes,” Gahyeon says. She doesn’t seem bothered by the steam from the tea getting into her face. “The rain, is it? I love the rain. When I was younger, I would sometimes run outside when it rained and just stand there with my arms out until my mother yelled at me to get back inside. It felt almost liberating. I still get the urge to do it sometimes.”

“Nothing is stopping you,” Junmyeon says and smiles when Gahyeon laughs.

“Nothing is, but someone is. Or someones. My guards tell me not to because I might catch a cold.”

“Let us do it sometime,” Junmyeon murmurs. “If we catch a cold, then so be it. It will be entirely worth it.”

“Bring Baekhyun,” Gahyeon says after sipping her tea. “I think he would like it.” She tilts her head and looks askance at Junmyeon. “How is he? I haven’t been by since… Oh, the day before yesterday? I must visit him tomorrow.”

“He is doing well,” Junmyeon says. “He is restless and snaps at me or someone else sometimes, but he apologises right after each time. I hope Yixing soon announces he is well enough to get back to his life.”

“Baekhyun hates sitting still unless he’s reading,” Gahyeon hums. “I can see why he’d be restless. Did he run out of books?”

Junmyeon smiles wryly. “Not even books can keep his attention for long these days. He needs to get out of that room. He needs fresh air.”

“I suppose our plan with the rain will have to wait until he is entirely well again,” Gahyeon muses. 

“I suppose so, yes. Yixing will probably strongly recommend it, and I do not want to risk his wrath.”

Gahyeon smiles and drinks more of her tea. Junmyeon, realising his own tea will get cold eventually, also takes a few sips. Silence reigns between them for a spell, until Gahyeon lets out a little sigh.

“I wish to have what you and Baekhyun have,” she says softly. “I hope that one day someone will care as much for me as you care for Baekhyun, and they will look at me the way Baekhyun looks at you.”

“It will happen,” Junmyeon says. “You deserve it.”

“There is someone I like being with,” she divulges, and Junmyeon blinks in surprise, “but I do not think he wants me to be anything else than his friend.”

“Do I know him?” Junmyeon asks. He is curious as to whom has caught Gahyeon’s fancy.

Gahyeon purses her lips and thinks for a moment. “Yes, you do. I will not tell you more, however. It is still new to me and I would like to cherish these feelings for a little bit.”

“Of course,” Junmyeon says. “Good luck courting him. You have my support no matter who it is. I will be here if you need me.”

“It is Baekhyun,” she says with not the slightest trace of mirth on her face. 

Junmyeon nods slowly, playing along. “Well, that is another matter entirely. I cannot and will not share Baekhyun with you. If you need me to find another man for you, I will gladly do so.”

“Shame,” she says.

“Indeed.”

They turn to look at each other, and Gahyeon is the first to break. She laughs, the sound pleasant like a tinkle of bells. “I love Baekhyun, but I do not think I can ever see him as a man. He is more like a brother. My until-this-moment unknown, not-blood-related brother. You may keep him.”

“I thank thee oh so graciously,” Junmyeon says wryly, but he is smiling. “I meant what I said. If you need me, I am here.”

“I know.” She smiles softly and pulls her leg up to her chest to rest her chin on her knees, cup still cradled between her hands. “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

It is late at night, and Junmyeon will soon return to his own bed chambers, but that is all the same: He enjoys these quiet nights of unwinding with talking and tea. 

 

Junmyeon greets one of his new guards a couple of days later, the only woman to ever be in his personal guard (Gahyeon has one other woman amongst her own guards, Yoobin, if Junmyeon’s memory doesn’t fail him). “Good morning, Siyeon.”

She dips into a bow. “Your Grace. Good morning.”

“How are you faring in your new position?” Junmyeon asks as he leads them down the corridor towards his own quarters. He has a meeting with Minseok in his study, which he hasn’t used for ages. He suspects Baekhyun will be there, as well, because he had time before breakfast with Hyoson and a few lords to pay him a visit in Yixing’s quarters, where Yixing was removing the splint from his hand and announced that Baekhyun would be free to go afterwards.

He should have time after the meeting with Minseok to talk with Baekhyun about which room he would prefer to have as his own. He has three spare rooms that aren’t used for much, so he figures Baekhyun can get the choice between one of them.

“It is going well, thank you,” Siyeon says. “The others have welcomed me with open arms and taught me whatever they can think of. I suspect some of it may not be legit.”

“Be careful with Jongdae,” Junmyeon says sombrely. “He is a notorious liar and prankster.”

Siyeon lifts a brow. “Duly noted, Sire. I will reconsider his advice before I follow through with any of it.”

“A wise decision,” Junmyeon says as they reach the doors leading to his quarters. They pass through the receiving room to get into the study where Minseok, Jongdae, and Baekhyun are gathered around a desk off to the side, deeply engrossed in the parchment scattered atop it. Jongdae glances up upon their arrival and offers them both a nod without a change to his tone as he talks.

Minseok and Baekhyun eventually look up shortly after and offer their greetings. Baekhyun smiles brightly at him and is the first to speak directly to him, “Junmyeon. Jongdae was telling me about using the terrain for an ambush.”

“You were supposed to be well on your way home,” Junmyeon muses, with a pointed look towards Jongdae, who just shrugs.

“I met Minseok on the way and decided I could stay another half an hour or however long you expect this to take.”

“Your wife might take offence,” Baekhyun trills, and Jongdae chuckles.

“Nah, she’ll be all right,” he says. “She knows how I am. She won’t worry if I stay here a while.”

“I suppose it is not even worth trying to change your mind,” Junmyeon says dryly.

Jongdae sends him a wink. “You’re learning. About time.”

Junmyeon turns his eyes heavenwards good-naturedly and approaches the trio. “Who will fill me in?”

Minseok clears his throat and gestures at the table with a sweep of his hand. “Their numbers won’t be a problem, but I just received word from Zitao that they are on the move and that he won’t be able to –” 

There’s a knock on the door and they all turn to look. Gahyeon enters, sees them looking, and smiles. “Hyoson informed me you would be here. I wished to listen in.”

Junmyeon moves away from Minseok and closer to Baekhyun and gestures for the empty space next to him. “You are more than welcome. Here, come.”

She comes to fill the spot and studies the maps. “You have everything planned out, I see.”

“Not quite,” Minseok admits and makes a face. “They are on the move again, so this plan is void. I must wait for Zitao to get back to us, and I fear that won’t be for a while. He said in his report that he would have to keep a low profile for a time. He doesn’t know where they are going.”

“So we can only sit and wait, now,” Baekhyun murmurs. 

“Not quite,” Jongdae says. “We have an overall plan of attack – we just need the exact location to hash out the fine details to avoid complications.”

“So when Zitao gets back to you,” Junmyeon says, “we will be ready to strike immediately. Is that so?”

“Yes,” Minseok says. “Once he gives the go, I will gather the soldiers and Wonshik will lead the ambush. It should take no more than a few hours to gather them and see them off.”

“Lovely.”

The meeting lasts another twenty minutes before they are satisfied, whereafter Gahyeon drags Minseok along to a meeting with the ministers. Jongdae bids his farewell, which leaves Junmyeon alone with Baekhyun.

“Are you feeling all right?” he asks.

“Never felt better,” Baekhyun says, but changes his mind fast, “Well, I have, but being up and about is better than being in bed.”

“Sounds good,” Junmyeon says. “I will see to it that the servants prepare your new room already today. If you wish, you can stay and guide them until I come back from my meetings. I should have nothing to do after them.”

“All right,” Baekhyun says. “I want a room close to your library.”

Junmyeon chuckles. “Consider it done. It will be one adjacent to mine, then.”

“That’s good,” Baekhyun says and smiles.

 

The days pass. As Baekhyun settles in his new environment and Junmyeon gets reaccustomed to his own quarters, Baekhyun’s family also move into their new home. Baekhyun visits them every day, usually while Junmyeon sees to his responsibilities, and he seems perfectly content with life. There are shadows, still, in his eyes, and sometimes his smiles hide a grimace, and oftentimes his hands tremble. 

Junmyeon arms himself with patience. He tries to be thoughtful and takes care to learn Baekhyun’s triggers. 

He makes sure the candles are always lit in the corridors and in their quarters. He doesn’t yell. He makes sure Baekhyun knows he is there before he speaks or touches him. He changes the topic when Baekhyun’s body goes taut. He soothes Baekhyun when he wakes up in tears from nightmares. He softly calls Baekhyun back to the room when his eyes get that far-away look. 

Chanyeol sticks to his word and does not tell Junmyeon anything. Sometimes Junmyeon catches him watching him and Baekhyun thoughtfully, and other times it seems like he wants to say something, but he never does. 

Baekhyun appears perfectly fine.

Junmyeon is starting to suspect Baekhyun has better control of his emotions and reactions than he ever thought.

He tries. He tries with all his heart, but his heart is screaming at him that Baekhyun is still suffering and refusing to tell him, and he is so terrified of losing Baekhyun if Baekhyun allows this to swallow him. 

He glimpses the scratches on Baekhyun’s arms purely by accident, but somehow keeps himself in check the entire day until, at last, they are alone in their bedroom (their bedroom – how Junmyeon has longed for that for so long).

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon starts, interrupting Baekhyun in his recount of his sister’s budding relationship with Lord Oh’s youngest son. It is something he would love to hear, truly, but he has waited all day to have this confrontation with Baekhyun and he cannot do it anymore. “Would you show me your arms?”

And how quickly Baekhyun shuts himself off, his face betraying nothing as he does as asked. 

Junmyeon looks at Baekhyun for permission, but Baekhyun neither does nor says anything, so Junmyeon carefully grabs one of his arms and pulls the fabric all the way up to uncover the skin.

Junmyeon is not Yixing, but the inflamed skin and the numerous tiny scratches speak of self-infliction.

“Why?” he asks softly. 

“It is nothing,” Baekhyun says stiffly. Junmyeon says nothing, and apparently the silence bothers Baekhyun, because he relents and adds, “It’s just… Sometimes my skin itches, or it feels wrong, and I need to…” 

He doesn’t finish the sentence. Junmyeon hums.

“Have you seen Yixing for a salve?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun murmurs.

“Good,” Junmyeon says, and draws in a fortifying breath. “When will you tell me about what happened?”

Baekhyun withdraws his arm from Junmyeon’s hold and looks away. “There is nothing to tell. It happened, and that is it. It’s in the past.”

“Have you spoken with anyone about it?” Junmyeon asks.

Baekhyun’s mouth thins. “No.”

“Baekhyun… It’s going to eat you up if you don’t.”

“I just want to forget it.”

“You can’t. It happened, and we both hate that it did, but it won’t… unhappen. It is part of our history now, and we need to work through it.”

“No, we don’t,” Baekhyun says, and it is almost a shout. Junmyeon feels awful, but he soldiers on.

“We do. You need to talk to someone, Baekhyun. I don’t care if it’s me or Chanyeol or – Yixing or someone else. You need it. It’s not going to relinquish you until you let it.”

Baekhyun’s voice has risen to a shout at this point. “Why do you refuse to leave it be? I just want to live my life. I’m fine!”

“I want to believe that more than anything,” Junmyeon murmurs, “but I don’t think you are.”

“It is my decision! It is my memories, my nightmares, my pain.” He breaks into a sob and buries his face in his hands. “I don’t want to think about it. I just want to forget.”

“Forgetting won’t help you,” Junmyeon says, mindful to keep his own voice even and gentle. “I hate to see you hurting, love. I hate having to sit idly as you stubbornly take this upon yourself. I hate the pain in your eyes and the reasons you flinch when someone gets near you.”

He sighs. “I won’t push you. I promised not to. I just need you to know that I am here for you if you need me.” He leans forward, closer to Baekhyun, and holds his hand up to his face. “May I?”

Baekhyun nods, so Junmyeon gently wipes away the few tears that escaped Baekhyun’s eyes. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Baekhyun winds his arms around Junmyeon’s neck and drags him down into an embrace. “I love you so much, but I can’t…”

“It’s all right,” Junmyeon murmurs and Baekhyun’s back. “It’s all right.”

 

Junmyeon had snuck out before, and doing it this time was no different from the others. It was kind of easy, to be fair, although he suspected his guards allowed him to escape more often than he probably had any right to. He had spotted them now and then on his outings.

He was meeting Baekhyun at the university and he was already running late, so the very moment he was on the other side of the walls, he darted down the hill as fast as his legs could take him. The university wasn’t far, but he didn’t want Baekhyun to think he had forgotten their rendezvous (even though Baekhyun, blessed be his person, always understood when he was unable to make it). 

By the time he reached the part where grass and hill turned to cobbled stone and buildings, he slowed down and was swallowed by the masses of people walking in every direction possible. He hated this amount of people, but at least they made him feel safe; invisible. 

The university came up as he walked, and he was smiling before he knew it as he hurried the last of the way. He was already looking around for Baekhyun’s distinguishable university attire, but it figured every other person he saw this close wore those same clothes as they were heading home from lessons. 

“Look towards the gates,” Jongdae’s unmistakable voice said from behind him. Junmyeon started and turned a glare to Jongdae’s smirking face.

“You are insufferable.” 

“I do my best,” Jongdae said serenely. “Now, find your man.”

“He is not my man,” Junmyeon muttered despite knowing Jongdae wouldn’t care; Jongdae had seen it coming almost before Junmyeon had, after all, and he kept insisting Junmyeon ought to just profess his love and live happily ever after.

Junmyeon often wondered how Jongdae had gone about courting his girlfriend of more than a year when he so obviously had no sense of romance. Theatrics he had in spades, but if his idea of a profession of love was to just outright say it, he was… 

It was probably a good idea, but no one could fault Junmyeon for wanting it to be memorable. At the very least, he was almost certain Baekhyun wouldn’t be opposed to the change in their relationship. 

“Well,” Jongdae trilled, “he is waiting for you, so better get to it.”

“At least kindly go back to being a peasant and give us the illusion of privacy,” Junmyeon said, and had to listen to Jongdae’s laughter as he blended in with the crowds.

He found Baekhyun standing by the entrance to the university gardens and made his way to him. Baekhyun spotted him as he came closer and lit up in one of those smiles Junmyeon so adored.

On any normal day, Junmyeon would have greeted Baekhyun with the words, “Baekhyun, good to see you,” but this time Jongdae had apparently had his prayers heard, because Junmyeon stumbled on air. Baekhyun realised what was happening a second too late, it seemed, for when he wide-eyed reached out for Junmyeon mid-fall, he was too far away still to catch him.

The ground was cold and merciless, but he supposed Baekhyun’s whole-hearted attempt at helping him back up and his half-hearted attempt at not laughing made up for it. 

“Well,” Junmyeon mustered once he was back on his feet and Baekhyun was fussing about the dirt on his clothes, “I guess that’s one way to confess.”

Baekhyun stopped trying to brush away whatever dust was on Junmyeon to stare at him instead. Junmyeon cracked a smile. 

Jongdae’s laughter was hard to miss even if he were nowhere to be seen in the masses, but Junmyeon had eyes only for Baekhyun, whose befuddled stare had turned warm and amused.

“I guess it is.”

 

He is drifting off to sleep when Baekhyun’s quiet voice draws him back.

“They locked me up somewhere dark and cold and damp,” he murmurs. Junmyeon’s back is facing him, but he doesn’t know if it is better to stay like this or turn around. “Possibly underground, I don’t know. I was kept there for a while. Their Null, Han, kept guard. Whenever I tried to call forth my Light, he extinguished it, no matter how small the Glow. I don’t know why he didn’t just keep my Gift at bay instead of letting me try again and again.”

His voice breaks, and Junmyeon’s heart with it. “But perhaps that’s why he did it. Perhaps he was toying with me.”

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Junmyeon murmurs, even as he yearns to understand. “I apologise for trying to force you.”

“I want to,” Baekhyun says. “Well – I need to. I just… Just bear with me. I’ll try.”

“I’ll listen. Do you want me to stay like this?”

“Up to you.” 

Junmyeon turns around so he can look at Baekhyun. He caresses Baekhyun’s forehead and says, “I’m listening.”

Baekhyn draws in a shuddering breath and closes his eyes. “Eventually, a couple of men arrived and started asking questions about you. When I refused to answer, they grabbed me by the hair and dipped my head into a bucket of ice water. They did that a couple of times until they realised I wouldn’t talk, and then… one of them tied me up and they flogged me for every answer I hesitated to give them, or wouldn’t give them, or they thought I lied about.”

He falls silent, eyes dry but his voice trembling, and Junmyeon continues to caress his face soothingly. His mouth is set in a firm line, and his voice is detached as he continues his recount, “I don’t know when they stopped. I guess I fainted. They woke me up with more cold water and laughed when I couldn’t breathe. Their questions continued, although they seemed not to care much for my answers. They had decided to break my fingers this time if I stepped out of line.

“They left me alone with the Null after that. My Light was gone. I couldn’t feel it, and the darkness was smothering me. The Null at least never said or did anything, but he never stopped them.

“They came by several times. Sometimes to taunt me, sometimes to hurt me. One of them…” 

He utters a soft noise, one so pitiful that Junmyeon pulls him into his arms. He is about to tell Baekhyun that he doesn’t have to talk more for the night, but Baekhyun is already talking.

“One of them thought it was funny to touch me. He would come by without any of his friends and he would leer at me and tell me I’m pretty, that he envies you for your .”

“Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says, alarmed, moving to sit up in bed except Baekhyun pulls him back down. 

“He scared me,” Baekhyun whispers. “He never did anything except… Except running his fingers through my hair and groping me, but he had this… look in his eyes. I knew what he wanted. I don’t know why he never did. And I feared every time he came by, that would be it.

“He said you would hate a spoiled toy. I knew, I know, that isn’t true,” he says firmly when he has to keep Junmyeon still again. “He said a lot of things about you, and I knew he was just trying to get into my head, to mess me up. I love you, and I know you would never hurt me, but coming back here and seeing you hurt. I kept hearing his taunts, and I just wanted it to stop.”

He swallows dryly. “He never physically hurt me. The others did. They would kick me or drag me or beat me whenever they were with me. I don’t remember what happened to my eyes. I just woke up one time and realised the one on the right hurt like a .”

Junmyeon presses a kiss to Baekhyun’s forehead and then holds him tightly. “I swear to you not one of them will get away with this. You are so strong for getting through all of that and you are so brave for telling me. I am grateful that you trust me with this, and I’m sorry for pushing you earlier.”

“It’s all right,” Baekhyun murmurs. “I… think that’s all I can manage tonight.”

“Of course,” Junmyeon says. “Do not worry. We have time. I will always be here.”

 

It is a couple of days later when Junmyeon seizes the chance to take the day off past noon. He tells Baekhyun in the morning as he prepares for the few meetings he has, and Baekhyun lights up at the prospect of spending some time together away from the palace. 

“Have the kitchens prepare anything you’d like,” Junmyeon says. “How does a trip to the lake sound?”

“I like it,” Baekhyun says as he helps Junmyeon with his clothes. “It has been a while.”

“It has,” Junmyeon agrees. “Perhaps we can even take a dip in the water.”

“If it’s not too cold,” Baekhyun grins. “Off with you. I’ll make sure the kitchens prepare only sweets for us.”

“You will not,” Junmyeon says and presses a kiss to the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth. 

“I suppose we will have to see,” Baekhyun teases and pulls him into an actual kiss. “I’ll see you later. Meet me here when you’re done?”

Later drags around eventually, and together they pick up the basket of food and head off towards the lake. Chanyeol and Hongbin (another of the newest additions to Junmyeon’s personal guard) are joined by a handful of members from the Royal Guard as they all trail Junmyeon and Baekhyun at a distance to keep up the illusion of privacy. Junmyeon had given his servants the day off to rest and enjoy; it had become almost tradition whenever Junmyeon and Baekhyun left the palace together.

The lake is a good walk away, which is one of the things Junmyeon enjoys about going there. They take a shortcut through Kings Forest and end up on the other side of the palace, from where they follow a narrow path up and down a few hills to end up at the lake. The sunny weather of late spring results in beautiful surroundings of lush nature and warm temperatures. 

They find their favourite spot beneath a weeping willow near the bank and settle in the grass. Junmyeon proceeds to unload the basket and is pleasantly surprised to find healthy-looking foods between the pastries.

“I realise a meal consisting only of sweets is not a good meal,” Baekhyun says.

Junmyeon laughs. “I had my doubts. Last time we came here, I recall the basket being filled to the brim with pastries.”

“And I recall telling you I brought enough to feed your poor guards.”

Junmyeon smiles and says, “Ah, but of course.” He hands Baekhyun one of the pastries. “Care for one now?”

“Dessert before lunch? How you have changed,” Baekhyun teases, but grabs the pastry before Junmyeon can pull it back. “I’ll have it. Thank you. If memory serves, the kitchen servant said they are filled with fruits and cane sugar.”

Junmyeon hums. “I suppose a taste before lunch never hurt anyone.”

“Precisely!”

Their lunch consists of small morsels of meat with sticky rice and spicy vegetables, and fluffy bread on the side. They also packed two flasks with watered down wine and a pair of mugs. It is a simple meal, but Junmyeon loves it all the same because Baekhyun is with him.

They eat between talking and teasing. It turns out, this time to no surprise, that there are enough pastries for the guards to each get one, so after calling Chanyeol over and handing him the basket to share with his peers, they sit quietly for a while and simply enjoy the peace. 

Baekhyun tells him a little bit about his time in captivity each day, and Junmyeon loves him for it. He abhors the men responsible for the way Baekhyun still suffers from the ordeal, but at least he is no longer alone in dealing with it. He is certain he sees a change in Baekhyun every day, however small it is; brighter smiles, louder laughs, warmer eyes, fewer waking-up-crying-and-shaking and shouting in fear when Junmyeon tries to soothe him.

They are doing better.

“So,” Baekhyun says languidly, “about that dip in the water…”

Junmyeon turns a grin on him. “Do you dare brave the cold?”

“The sun has warmed it up,” Baekhyun insists, and there’s little Junmyeon can say against that. 

(The water is still pretty cold.)

 

It is nearing suppertime when the peace is broken by the arrival of more guards. Jongdae is among them, and he makes a beeline straight for Junmyeon and Baekhyun.

“Thank Heavens,” Jongdae calls once he is within earshot. He comes to a halt once he reaches them. “Minseok has words from Zitao. Wu appears to have departed from their current location with a group of men and women.”

Baekhyun grasps Junmyeon tightly, and Junmyeon sighs. “They are coming here, are they not?”

Jongdae nods sombrely. “Zitao warned us that they might be on the way. You need to return to the palace.”

“Do we know when they might reach us?”

“We estimate today or tomorrow. Zitao’s messenger is quite the runner, but while Wu will be slowed down bringing a group, we must still prepare. We do not know how they plan to go about this.”

Jongdae’s gaze on Junmyeon is loaded, and Junmyeon feels a weight settle heavy in his stomach. Last time, Yifan somehow managed to break into his room without alerting anyone. What might he do now?

“Then let’s go,” Baekhyun says and gets on his feet. With the hand still clutching Junmyeon’s, he helps Junmyeon get up, and then he turns around so he is facing him. “It will be all right. We will be all right,” he says, and Junmyeon musters a smile.

“Yes. Of course.”

 

The rest of the evening and the next day pass and nothing happens. There are no sightings of Yifan or his men, nor whispers of rumours or anything of the sort. Minseok is as close to frantic as he will ever get, which no one but his closest circle can probably tell – and, despite the precarious situation, it is slightly funny to see. 

“You must stay in your quarters,” Minseok says upon seeing Junmyeon, and it is almost a groan. Junmyeon struggles to hide a smile. “Where is Baekhyun?”

“In my quarters,” Junmyeon says, “with Gahyeon. You cannot lock me up in my own palace.” 

“Watch me,” Minsoek mutters. Junmyeon graciously acts like he didn’t hear that. Louder, Minseok says, “That Wu is just lying in wait somewhere, ready to pounce, I know it. He has to.”

“Zitao could have been misled,” Junmyeon gently reminds him. “He has good intentions, but he could have made the wrong call. Perhaps Wu was headed somewhere else.”

“Where else would he have gone?” Minseok frets. “He brings a dozen men with him, but if not to get to you, then why? What is he planning?”

Yifan’s threat still rings loud and clear in Junmyeon’s head, yet he says, “He might have no intentions of trying to murder me again.”

Minseok throws him such a deadpan look that Junmyeon almost laughs. “If Wu for some reason does not come for you, his mother will. You are not safe yet.”

“I am never safe,” Junmyeon hums. Minseok releases a weight-of-the-world-on-his-shoulders kind of sigh. Junmyeon considers taking offence.

“I do not appreciate you making light of the situation, Junmyeon,” Minseok says softly. Now Junmyeon feels bad, even if all he was trying to do was, well, lighten up the mood. “He almost got you once. No one knew he was there until Jongdae heard your screams.” He pauses in thought. “Perhaps it would be safer for you in another part of the palace.”

“You would have me temporarily move to the kitchens while all this is happening?” Junmyeon asks.

“Yixing’s quarters would be wiser,” Minseok mutters. “It has no straight path to the outside.”

“We’ll make arrangements, then,” Junmyeon says. “If imposing once more on Yixing will soothe your concerns, I will see to it.”

Minseok is nodding to himself. “I’ll ask Yixing if he minds.”

“For how long do you reckon I must be there?” Junmyeon asks. “Until we catch Wu?”

“And his mother,” Minseok adds without missing a beat. He grimaces. “Yes, that would be best. We may know Kuaihua’s current whereabouts, but Wu is a wild card at the moment. I do not like it.”

Junmyeon sighs dejectedly. “Am I completely barred from being in my own quarters, or is it only my bedchamber I am not allowed to be in?”

“If you could spend as little time in your own quarters, that would be ideal,” Minseok says. “He may well choose to strike at night, but we cannot risk forgetting the threat he poses even in daylight.”

“I understand,” Junmyeon says. 

Minseok purses his lips. “We need you out before tonight.”

“I will ask the servants to move immediately.”

“Then I will find Yixing and request he give up some of his space for you for the time being,” Minseok says and nods to himself. If Minseok feels calmer, Junmyeon supposes he cannot complain; he doesn’t think Baekhyun will mind either. 

“All right,” Junmyeon says. “I will see you later, then.”

 

Junmyeon has learned a lot over the years with Minseok by his side, and one of the things is that Minseok is rarely ever wrong.

Dusk settled a couple of hours ago on the third night in Yixing’s quarters, and Junmyeon is being rushed back there by a stern-looking Jongdae, who sent Kyungsoo to gather a handful of guards to help protect Junmyeon and Baekhyun. Fires ravage the south-east part of the palace and servants and guards alike are working on extinguishing the flames before they spread.

According to Jongdae, the fires are deliberate, and the Royal Guard are rallying to locate the instigators and have them apprehended. Jongdae believes it is the work of Yifan: A distraction to get to Junmyeon. 

“I encountered Jinho on the way to Yixing’s quarters with Baekhyun,” Jongdae says. “I left them there to get you. Jinho knows what’s going on, as does Baekhyun.”

“Thank you,” Junmyeon murmurs. 

They reach Yixing’s quarters within a minute. 

“Junmyeon,” Jongdae warns before Junmyeon can do much more than set his foot in the doorway. “Stand back. Something is wrong. I put guards –”

“I think you should come on inside,” someone calls softly, the voice carrying from one of the adjacent rooms. 

Junmyeon recognises the voice, but resolutely passes through the doorway despite Jongdae trying to stop him with an arm on his elbow and a hissed, “Junmyeon, don’t you dare –”

Yifan looks the same, at least, sitting at Junmyeon’s desk in his study like he is the king. There is a man by his side, about Junmyeon’s own height, and Baekhyun – stands in front of him. The stranger has a knife to his throat. His expression is impassive; a stark contrast to the seething hatred – and fear as he looks up at Junmyeon – on Baekhyun’s. 

Belatedly, Junmyeon catches sight of Jinho’s body off to the side. From this distance, he can tell there’s blood pooling under him, but not if he’s alive.

“Your Grace,” Yifan greets, and Junmyeon fixes his gaze on him.

“Release him.”

Yifan arches an eyebrow, eyes flickering towards Baekhyun. “You are in no position to make demands, Your Grace.”

“Junmyeon,” Jongdae bites out, “the Null. That man is the Null.”

Junmyeon frowns. Now that he is aware of it, he tries to feel his Gift and finds that he cannot. It is entirely gone, and while his Gift has never been worth much, it is off-putting to suddenly be without it. “I see.”

He looks back at Yifan and squares his shoulders. “I propose an exchange. Baekhyun for me.”

Jongdae and Baekhyun simultaneously break into loud protests, which Junmyeon silences with a hand. 

Yifan is smiling. “A sound proposition. I accept.”

Junmyeon leaves Jongdae’s side to stand before Baekhyun. Baekhyun is staring at him in horror, so Junmyeon attempts a soothing smile as he, from the corner of his eyes, sees Yifan get to his feet and round the table. He doesn’t put up a fight when Yifan seizes his wrists and keeps them on his back.

“Han, you may let the king’s Chosen go,” Yifan says. “Make any sudden moves, either of you, and your king takes the fall.” To prove his point, Junmyeon feels the cold edge of a blade slide under his chin.

The Null, Han, does as bid and releases Baekhyun. Baekhyun stands still where he is, the fear for Junmyeon written all over his face and reflecting in his eyes. Junmyeon only has a moment to feel bad. 

“Jongdae,” Junmyeon says slowly, “take Baekhyun and get out of here. Remember,” he hisses when Jongdae looks at him in dawning horror, “what you promised me.”

Jongdae looks conflicted for a spell or two until he steels himself and slowly, deliberately so Yifan won’t do anything, reaches for Baekhyun, who is looking between him and Junmyeon in betrayal.

“What promise?” he demands and shakes Jongdae’s grip off. “What promise?”

Junmyeon’s gaze uneasily shifts between Han’s blank face to Baekhyun’s distraught one as he struggles against Jongdae’s grip. “Please, love, just go with him,” he whispers. Yifan may have the upper hand, but he must know it is only a matter of time before guards swarm the place. His patience must be running thin, and Junmyeon will be damned if he lets him take it out on Baekhyun.

Jongdae, possibly concerned with Yifan’s patience as well, forgoes trying to be gentle with Baekhyun and instead applies force and manhandles him towards the door. 

“No,” Baekhyun cries, looking desperately at Junmyeon. “No.”

“Go, Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says softly. “I’ll be all right.”

“No, you won’t!” Baekhyun screams. He is clawing at Jongdae’s arms and kicking at him, but Jongdae stubbornly persists. “Junmyeon!”

Jongdae catches Junmyeon’s eyes and says, sternly, “I’ll be back when he’s safe.”

Junmyeon just nods, knowing the chances of him being alive upon Jongdae’s return are slim. With one last great effort, Jongdae succeeds in dragging Baekhyun crying out of the room.

“Han,” Yifan says, “guard the door.”

Han nods and leaves the room. 

The door closes softly behind him.

 

---

Fun fact #5: I decided on Jongdae having an infant daughter in this fic five or so days before my Twitter blew up with the joyous news of his actual newborn daughter. I’m psychic, obviously (and I am so so so happy for him and his family!)

Obviously, the fun fact above clearly shows how long it's been since I worked on this fic, because I just saw news a day or two ago about his second child. WHOOO. Atta boy. 

Anyway, I have no good excuses for leaving this fic to suffer from hiatus for so long (other than "But I wrote other fics, see?" and then leaving them to rot the same way I did to this one), but I am back now with Chapter 4 and a clear(er) vision of where I want this fic to go. The end will come with Chapter 5, which is nearly written. I ceremoniously promise it won't be another, what, year before the next update? , I'm sorry. (I'm not sorry about the cliffhanger, though.) Expect no more than a month, probably a week or two! Crossed fingers, at least, heh.

Also, just an end note regarding the controversy surrounding Yifan these days: The character bearing the name Yifan will stick around for this fic. If that is upsetting to you, please do not feel obligated to read on (if you wish, I can summarise the scenes with him in it, which won't be many, I promise you). I will write him out of other current works of mine, and he will have no role in new fics. I haven't really followed the news about him recently, aka I'm not up-to-date, but I thought it best to mention.

See you for the finale! And if you're still here after a year of waiting -- I love you, and thank you for your patience <3