Baekhyun thought about every single miniscule feeling that had overcome him in such a short span of time.

One minute he was fighting Chanyeol, the next apologizing and then eventually kissing him.

Except this time...Chanyeol had been brave enough-strong enough to initiate first. 

Alone in the small infirmary solo room, he felt his heart palpitate. Baekhyun hadn’t felt this way...since well...since Jongdae. He knew Chanyeol was important to him, but he couldn’t really understand why. 

The first time he’d met him he didn’t dislike hime, but saw him as a threat. Perhaps at times he’d compare it to Jongdae. He was strong willed, quick on his feet and yet very clumsy. They had a lot in common. That is why Baekhyun couldn’t fully open himself up to the demi-god that so desperately wanted only his attention.

Baekhyun couldn’t look at Chanyeol without seeing Jongdae first. It hurt. Hurt like a to know that somewhere deep inside of his mind he felt connected to Jongdae despite who he had become. 

When Chanyeol had bid him farewell, Baekhyun felt empty inside. Chanyeol hadn't even asked his response-did Baekhyun feel the same? It was almost as if Chanyeol didn’t want to know the answer. Whatever the answer to that question was Chanyeol thought perhaps going back into battle would be a better option.

If Chanyeol didn’t say it enough, Baekhyun knew that it wasn’t like him to step in front of someone to save their life. 

He closed his eyes shut trying to remember what it felt like to be in love.

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The first time he’d met Jongdae was when Baekhyun had first crawled up into camp half-blood after running away from several gorgons. He was alone, afraid and lost. After he’d run away from his orphanage back in Germany it was only an unfortunate event after another for him. The monster fighting never stopped. He wondered how he had taken all of them over the span of a month when all he really had was a small kitchen knife. He would later find out that it was his charmspeak that helped him through his journey.

When he walked through the invisible barrier at camp he was met with lighting grey eyes and that inspected his injured body from head-to-toe. 

“Are you okay?” the man asked.

Baekhyun fell to his knees sobbing his eyes out. As a twelve year old, it was only normal to cry at times like this. He’d been on the run for a month now and to be hearing a voice that wasn’t judging him for the state that he was in, or asking where his parents were was...a sigh of relief.

“I’m Jongdae, I’ll help you. You must be a demigod. Only demigods can walk through the barrier.”

The young and naive Baekhyun didn’t understand a word that came out of his mouth. Demi-god? Barrier? What was he on about? 

Nonetheless, he let the man sling him over his shoulder, telling him everything was going to be alright.

Jongdae took him in like a brother. He was three years older than him. He cared for him the entire time he was in the infirmary when he’d first come into the camp. At the time no one could really guess whose child Baekhyun was. All they knew was he was a mysterious boy, who had ravishing looks and a keen eye for a bow and arrow.

The son of Zues taught him how to shoot his first arrow. He gifted him a white arrow holder with a special green bow along with it. 

Life at camp was good. Much better than the life he had back at the orphanage in Munich, Germany. 

Until everyone found out who his god parent was. Aphrodite.

Baekhyun was an outcast. No longer being treated like a normal demigod. 

He’d cry in the forest at camp often, go behind the training grounds where all the shrubs and bushes were and think dark thoughts about running away. Anything. It was a surprise he hadn't taken his own life. It seemed that everytime he'd think about it, he'd pity himself and cry his eyes out. Baekhyun had stooped that low. 

He couldn’t stay somewhere he couldn’t be accepted.

Then there was Jongdae. Who continued to defend him. Accepted him for who he was not matter what. 

One day he’d caught Baekhyun crying with his knees in his arms at the lake side of the camp.

“What's wrong?” Jongdae asked.

Baekhyun lifted his head, revealing his watery eyes and red face.

“I’m useless. I’m a son of Aphrodite who is not good to this camp.” Baekyun wiped his tears.

“Hey, hey, who said that?” Jongdae camp to sit beside him on the dock of the lake.

“One of the Ares kids.” Baekhyun sniffled.

“Well let me tell you, that you’re way stronger than any Ares kid I know.” Jongdae smiled.

Baekhyun blinked, “How do you know that?”

“Because you have the power of words. Do you get how amazing that is, Baekhyun.”

“I’ll never be as strong as you, you're cool with lighting powers and stuff.” 

Jongdae snickered, letting out a small laugh, “It’s not as glamorous as you think. I mean for one, I’ve never even met the very man who gave me these powers.”

His tone was sad, Baekhyun could tell. In hindsight, this was probably when Jongdae’s resentment towards the gods had begun.

Jongdae’s dark expression changed into a smiling face,” Don’t listen to them! You’re strong! I mean I saw you use that arrow to capture the flag the other day! That was super cool.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips as if to hide his smile, “Really?”

“Of course,” Jongdae patted his head.

That was the start of Baekhyun’s small crush. Which slowly grew into a deep admiration for Jongdae. He was intelligent and understanding in so many ways. He was the only one who’d accepted Baekhyun for who he really was.

On the day the both of them had discovered they’d be going on a quest together, Baekhyun was hysterical. He’d told Jongdae he didn’t want to go, that he was going to let them down. Worst of all, if he came back from the quest unsuccessful, no one would let him live at camp.

“Baekyun, calm down. If the gods choose for you to be on the quest then so be it. Prove them wrong. Let them know that you’re strong because I know you are.”

“You’re just saying that.” Baekhyun pouted.

Jongdae raises his eyebrows, “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t want Junmyeon coming with us, but I would take you with me no matter what.”

Baekhyun 's twinkled at the compliment. Without even wondering why Jongdae didn’t want to take the son of Poseiden. 

“I want to do this quest with you, Baekhyun.” Jongdae said.

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He woke abruptly, coughing into his arm when he realized how dry his throat was.

As a dream...it was a dream. And yet, it had been such a vivid image of his past, Bakehyun couldn’t comprehend if he’d relieved the experience. All he knew at that moment was he felt something awaken deep inside him.

His relationship with Jongdae...what had it been? Love? Admiration? Envy? 

No.

Baekhyun knew now.

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Kyungsoo looked at him and did a double take, noticing the way Baekhyun had a slight limp to this leg.

“What the hell are you doing out of the infirmary, it’s only been two days?!” Kyungsoo ran over to him.

Baekhyun held out his hand in protest as if to stop Kyungsoo from helping him, “i’m fine. The nurse let me out. She had she had an antidote, it’ll only be a few more hours before I fully heal.” Baekhyun sighed, wiping the sweat on his brow.

They were in the open dining area where only a few campers were there trying to catch up on eating food whenever they could. Baekhyun watched as a plate of mashed potatoes and chicken was delivered to him. He couldn't even look at the food without wanting to throw up.

Moving it aside he focused his attention on Kyungsoo.

“How is everyone holding up?” Baekhyun asked.

“You can ask about  Chanyeol, it’s fine.” Kyungsoo took a mouthful of spaghetti.

“I-I was just asking about the war.” Baekhyun said stubbornly.

“Not too good. I mean, Oceanus hasn’t even come in yet and we’re struggling with defences. Ezo’s been at the camp for about two days and we still can’t defeat him.”

“That bastard.” Baekhyun clenched his jaw.

“You’re not going into battle.” Kyungsoo warned him, his face etched with seriousness.

“No ones going to hold me back.” Baekhyun said.

“I can physically hold you back.”

“I can verbally hold you back,” Baekhyun smiled sarcastically.

They both laughed, with Baekhyun slapping his friend on the head slightly. It had been a long time since they’d laughed like this. Since they could normally speak to one another after being in constant anxiety. What and who was going to attack them next, when was Oceanus  going to reach their camp...when was-

“Baekhyun, you're alive?” Junmyeon was beside them.

“Shut up,” the said demigod rolled his eyes, recognizing the sarcasm laced in his voice.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened, “You know it's a miracle you guys aren’t at each other's throats right now.” 

“War brings people together,” Junmnyeon said, inviting himself to sit across from the two at the lunch table.

Kyungsoo tapped his chin suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at Baekhyun, “Say...is it just me or have you and Chanyeol been getting really close recently.” 

Baekhyun wanted to step on his friend's toes for bringing up a topic he didn’t really want to discuss right now. After having his dream about Jondgae he knew how he felt, but still there was a fricken war going on.

“Shouldn’t you be worrying about Oceanus.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

Junmnyeon nodded his head in agreement, “He’s right. It’s been too quiet now. They have something up their sleeve.”

Kyungsoo pouted, “You guys no fun. Oh well, I gotta go train, Baekhyun I better see you in the infirmary when I get back,” He said.

Baekhyun and Junmnyeon waved him goodbye and it took a second for Baekhyun to realize he was alone with his once arch enemy. It had been awhile since they’d been together like this, not fighting. Four years ago you could even consider them friends.

“Are you afraid?” Junmnyeon asked him out of the blue.

“Of what?” Baekhyun took a bite out of his pancake.

“Jongdae. I’ve been having dreams about him-our quest four years ago. I don’t know...everything feels weird. It felt like yesterday when we were all battling together, fighting monsters-being heroes. And look at us now.” Jnmnyeon sighed, staring out below the hill where he saw demi-gods training and practicing their attacks.

Baekhyun doesn't say anything, finding it comforting that Junmnyeon doesn’t look for a response to his statement. He knew Baekhyun so well-not much of a talker, but spoke with his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Junmyeon looked at Baekhyun sincerely. 

This gathers his attention, making him almost drop the fork he’d been using to eat. Was this another dream?

“I know how much it must have affected you back then. To blame Jongdae’s death on you. But...knowing my pride it was always easier to blame someone else then myself.” 

“I’ve gotten over it.” Baekhyun said, “Besides, we were kids. into a quest we didn’t want to go on. Sometimes I think Jongdae has reasoning for going rogue. He was treated like from the gods, perhaps the gods deserve this.”

“We were naive back then,” Junmnyeon pauses, choosing his words carefully, “We were still in a phase of being starstruck by the gods, but Jongdae...he was ahead of his time. He felt what we are feeling now. Betrayal, loss…”

“Lets win this war.” Baekhyun stood up from his table determined.

Junmnyeon blinked in shock, wondering where the sudden energy came from.

“O-okay, I guess…” the son of Poseiden watched Baekhyun’s behaviour carefully, noticing that small spark in eyes the same light he had four years ago going on his first quest.

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Authors note: Sorry :( no Chanyeol in this chapter folks, but I wanted to give this chapter just a little bit more focus on the past with Jongdae, Baekhyun and Junmyeon and their little trio. It seemes that Junmnyeon FINALLY apologizes to Baekhyun which is amazing! Don't worry, next chapter will be filled with Chanyeol, the war is about to begin!