It is pitch black as the door was shut behind me. As I looked at nothingness again, I saw a light approaching me. It is a guy, holding a lighted candle. He is smiling while walking towards me. He has a nice smile, but has bunny teeth. He looks handsome with a good physique.

 

'Hello, Gizelle!', he called my name.

 

'Hi!', I replied shortly.

 

In an instant, the milky way appeared before us. There is a round table, 2 chairs and a bookshelf there.

 

'You may sit. Perhaps a tea?, he asked, offering me a seat while placing the candle on the table.

 

'Yes please, a warm one.', I said, taking the seat he offered.

 

He gave me a cup of tea, then he sat down next to me. I noticed how beautiful the milky way is. It changes positions and colors, from a lighter shade into a darker one. I stared at it in admiration for a while then I heard him asked me, 'Do you like the milky way?'.

 

'Yes. It is beautiful.' I said in amusement.

 

'Me too, I find it relaxing', he replied back.

 

'Yes. Stress-free', I said. 

 

'But we are not here to admire the milky way.', he continued then he winked at me. 

 

I was caught off guard that I could not hide my smile. 

 

'Yes, we are here for me, my negativities.', I answered in a matter of fact tone.

 

'You are right! So we are going from the start. Your first negative feeling in your life', he smiled while pointing his fingers from me, curling up into the sky. 

 

The galaxy before us changed into a random hazy memory, more of looking for a certain memory. Then it stopped. It is a moving picture of a girl inside the bathroom. 

 

'Wait, that's me. I was about 7 or 8 years old I think', I said, remembering that specific memory.

 

The girl in the moving picture is crying silently. Tears are falling nonstop from her eyes then she said the words I never want to hear again. The words I told myself I would never speak of again many years ago already.

 

'I want to die. Lord, I want to die already. Lord, give me an illness so I could die already. Give me cancer, kidney stone or anything severe so I can leave this place already. Lord, please let me die. No one cares about me. I know they will never be sad when I leave this world', said the girl, sobbing. She looked like she is having breathing difficulty because of extreme emotions but in a silent manner, worrying that someone might see her crying inside the bathroom. She is saying the same thing for minutes while crying. The memory shifted into another scenario while she is crying in her sleep. Similar thoughts were going in her mind.

 

Tears fell from my eyes. I could remember those specific memories clearly. I was like that because I believed that my parents never loved me. There were times I wished I am dead but I never hurt myself. Those were just wishful thinking. I remembered the days I pitied myself so much because no one loved me. They loved my sister over me. I was never chosen, even once by my parents. 

 

The moving picture changed into another memory. It was a birthday party. I could see a rectangular shaped cake with the disney princess Jasmine on top of it together with a number 7 candle. The girl was so happy when the people around her sang a happy birthday then she blew her birthday candle number 7. There were parlor games and prizes. There were gifts as well. When the party is over and all of the guests have left already, it is time to open up the presents.

 

There were a handful of presents. Her younger sister helped her open the gifts when her mom came. 

 

'Share your gifts to your sister,' my mom said. The girl frowned but did not say anything. 

 

I was almost willing to share my gifts with my sister but then my sister chose the specific toys and colors that she liked before me. I got angry because they were mine, in the first place.

 

I could see 2 girls fighting over the presents. The mom saw them then shouted, 'Stop it! No more fighting. Gizelle, share your presents to your younger sister. If you girls fight again, you will receive punishment.'

 

'Why do I need to share these to her? These are my presents. It is my birthday. And I don't even get to choose the ones that I like?', the girl said, having tantrums. Her younger sister just collected the toys she liked