You shouldn’t be doing this. You knew that you shouldn’t. And you couldn’t even say you knew it deep down because the anguish and fight was right there on the surface of your heart.

All week, you’d been trying to figure out a way to avoid this, to come up with another plan that didn’t involve anyone getting hurt, but you came up empty. So there you were, sitting up in that tree, your bow as heavy as lead in your hand.

From where you were perched, you could still see the rental that you had parked on the side of the road. After the deed was done, you’d need a quick getaway. You were also secretly hoping that they wouldn’t come this close to the edge of the forest.

An hour or so had gone by without any sign of them. While you were relieved, you were also anxious. Over and over, you told yourself that it was better that you did this rather than Johnny showing up. It was a lie, of course. This wasn’t any better, not really.

You felt like a fraud. Like there were two different versions of you walking around, inhabiting the same body. There was the one you’d always known, the one who was loyal to her family and the organization. And then there was the new you, the one who’d grown stronger after perhaps living deep inside you in the dark for so long. That version questioned everything she’d ever been taught, all for the sake of a wolf. You didn’t know which one was real and which one was fake.

Rebellion was not in your nature. You always stayed in line, obeyed every order without question, blindly trusting your leadership, who also happened to be your father. You’d never been secluded from the real world, but coming out here on your own, you felt like you were really seeing it for the first time. Or maybe just a different angle of it.

A rustling reached your eyes, pulling you from your internal monologue and making you face your immediate reality again. One last time, you inspected the arrowhead. You watched as the thick, molasses-like liquid slid down the metal edges. It was a special concoction, rarely ever used by the hunters due to its potency. Even humans were vulnerable to the poison living in it, a mix of wolfsbane and other toxins, if it ever reached the bloodstream. But it wasn’t a quick death, slow as it made its way through the body. You hoped that, since you put only the tiniest drops on the arrow, no one would come out seriously harmed after this. Especially if they got to the book in time.

The crunching of leaves and dirt grew louder. Docking the arrow, you brought the long-range scope up to your eye and searched the area in front of you. A small group of the wolves were running together, playfully snapping at each other and seemingly enjoying themselves a hundred yards or so away. Two of the wolves were pure white, one as black as coal, and another who sported a beige coat that felt a little ordinary when mixed in with the others.

Since the beige wolf stood a little apart from the others, you lined your sight up. You just wanted to graze him, not cause any permanent damage. Taking one last deep breath, you hesitated, just for a moment, before letting the arrow slip through your fingers.

You didn’t wait to see if you’d hit your target. You couldn’t.

Jumping from the tree, you landed hard on the soil, rolling so you didn’t cause yourself any damage. You ran for the street where the car door was open and ready for you take off. The engine was still rumbling and after throwing your bow in the back of the vehicle, you sped off down the road, careful to still remain within the speed limit in the rare case you came across a police officer.

Back within city limits, you parked the car several blocks away, emptying the inside of anything that might identify you, even wiping the steering wheel clean and using a lint roller over all the seats. Then you just left it there. Maybe in a day or so, you’d return it.

As soon as you closed the door of your apartment behind you, your bow clattered down to the wooden floor.

What the hell have you done?

The weight of your actions bore down on you. As much as you wish you could, you couldn’t take it back. Was that really the better option? Maybe you should have just turned yourself over to the pack, let them kill you since that was probably their plan with you anyway once you were discovered.

Storming into your bedroom, you ripped the board out from your closet, tearing the photographs and pieces of paper from their thumbnails keeping them to the cork. You threw the pieces everywhere. It was all you could do to take out your anger and frustration at the corner you were backed into. Surrounded by the hours of work and stalking you had done since arriving here, you collapsed down to your knees, bent over with only your palms on the carpet keeping you up. Luhan’s face haunted your mind, his smile, his laugh, the soft way he looked at you. Once he discovered what you’ve done, he would hate you. And that was the heaviest consequence of them all.

**

It had been a peaceful day, a calm morning. Almost everyone was out of the house, leaving Luhan alone with his thoughts. He hadn’t seen you since he left your apartment. Each time he went to work, he’d hoped that you would show up randomly with an answer, but each time he went home disappointed.

Eyes staring down at the table in the breakfast booth, he traced the outline of your tattoo over and over again on the shiny wood. Throughout the entire course of the night the two of you spent together, you never took off the thick leather cuff that covered up your mark. He considered just telling you that he knew what you were. Maybe that would help you. Or maybe it would just make things worse.

He’d promised to give you space, so he would. Even if it was torture to him.

“What are you drawing?”

Luhan nearly jumped out of his seat at the question. Sehun slid into the seat across from him, a curious frown pinching his face.

Wiping the table as if that would erase the nonexistent doodle, Luhan replied, “Just nonsense. Nothing, really.” He narrowed his eyes at the younger wolf. “Shouldn’t you be in class?”

Sehun smirked. “Canceled. Professor sent out an email this morning. Probably has a hangover or something.”

Laughing, Luhan shook his head. “Or more likely, he’s just sick. The cold’s going around.”

“No, not as interesting.” Sehun leaned back, sighing. “So, what are you up to today?”

“I don’t know,” Luhan replied with a shrug. “I don’t work tonight so there’s not much on my calendar.”

“Since when do you not work Friday nights?”

“I traded with Ron,” he explained. And he was a bit thankful for it. He was too distracted to be able to handle the crowd that was to be expected tonight. He wasn’t hurting for cash so he might as well give the shift to someone who had rent to pay.

Sehun had his thinking face on and that usually meant trouble. “Well, Tao’s busy, but Minseok and Kyungsoo are home – without their mates, for once. Why don’t we all go for a run?”

A run? Yeah. That sounded like a good idea.

At Luhan’s nodded agreement, Sehun slapped the table and jumped up, running out of the kitchen excitedly. Releasing a sigh, Luhan headed out for the backyard, already pulling his shirt over his head. When the other three were outside and ready to go, they all took off, racing through the forest at high speed. None of them were focused on where they were headed, no real direction or destination in mind. They mostly just egged each other on, getting rowdier and more rambunctious as they went along. Luhan was enjoying himself, not acting like the oldest and just being loose. Kyungsoo stayed on the edge as he ran alongside them, keeping his distance but clearly laughing at their actions.

Wait! Minseok yelled, making them all slow down.

What is it? Luhan perked up his ears, searching for something the beige wolf might have heard.

We’re getting close to the edge, he explained. We should double back before someone accidentally sees us.

You’re ri- argh!

Sehun had taken the advantage of Luhan being distracted to pounce, getting a good nip at his neck. Momentarily ignoring the warning given by Minseok, Luhan turned to counterattack. Sehun was, unfortunately, a bit bigger than Luhan, giving him the slight advantage. The others just stood there and laughed at the two white wolves who were blurring into one.

A whistling sound flew the air, making them stop. But it was too late.

An arrow had sliced through Minseok’s back, making him howl in pain. All four of them shifted back into human form. For a moment, they were all too shocked to do anything besides stare at Minseok lying on the ground as he groaned from the pain, a long red streak oozing blood running diagonally across his back.

“Get him back to the house!” Kyungsoo yelled. Turning on his feet, he started running in the direction that the arrow came from.

Hauling Minseok up, Sehun carried him on his back as they headed back to the house as fast as their human forms could take them. From the way Sehun had to hold onto the older wolf, Minseok was too weak to stay on if they shifted back to wolves.

By a miracle, Yixing was standing in the kitchen and talking to Ming as he cooked a meal for the two of them.

“Oh my god!” Ming yelped as soon as they stumbled into the house.

“What happened?” Yixing ran to them to help Sehun lay Minseok face down on the kitchen table.

“I don’t know,” Sehun growled, his fist curling at his side. “The arrow came out of nowhere. Kyungsoo went to see if he could find the shooter. It had to be that hunter the other pack talked about.”

Yixing’s face scrunched into a fierce expression. “Ming-”

“Already on it!” his mate yelled from halfway up the stairs. She came back less than a minute later, first aid kit built especially for werewolves in hand.

“I’ll call Junmyeon and Kris,” Sehun offered thickly. He was shaking violently which explained why he went into the backyard after swiping his jeans from the back of the booth. His cellphone was in his pocket, but the last thing Yixing needed right now was for him to lose it and shift right there in the kitchen. Sehun cared deeply about all his brothers and seeing Minseok whimpering in pain there on the table was hard on them all.

“It’s festering,” Yixing whispered, harsh lines forming on his forehead. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“Will he be okay?” Luhan asked desperately. He needed Minseok to be okay. His brother had to come out of this alright.

Yixing didn’t look at him as he sighed. “I don’t know.”

Sehun came back inside, phone in hand and dressed once again. He’d calmed down enough to stop shaking. He held the cell out to Yixing, telling him in a monotone voice, “Junmyeon wants to talk to you.”

Yixing nodded, taking the cell right away. “Yes, Junmyeon?”

If Luhan had been concentrating, he would have been able to hear both sides of the conversation. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t focus on Yixing’s words either. Because he knew the reason Minseok was in so much pain.

You.

Had he been wrong to protect you? Should he have told his pack the truth from the very beginning? Could this had been avoided if he was honest? With anyone?

Yixing hung up and handed the phone back to Sehun. “Junmyeon is picking up the book with Kris and then they’ll break the speed limit to get here. Until then, I’ll try to clean the wound as best as I can.”

The book. The book.

Luhan remembered seeing a few notes on your board regarding the museum and then there was the time he found you leaving the back rooms, barely catching you on the steps. It was all piecing together in his mind.

Is that what you were after this whole time?

Kyungsoo came back just then, his face blank as he stared at Minseok.

“Did you find them?” Sehun asked, eagerness in his voice. It was frightful tone, even putting Luhan on edge.  

Kyungsoo shook his head. “No. They were long gone. But I brought this back.” He held up the arrow, red blood painting the head, covering up the silver metal underneath.

“That will help to figure out what’s in Minseok’s system once Junmyeon arrives with the book.” Yixing took the arrow, inspecting it closely.

Not saying a word to the others, Luhan grabbed his clothes and tore out of there, running out the front door and passed the garage. He didn’t even bother with his car, just pulling on his shorts and shirt as he headed for the woods. He had too much anger riling up inside. The car would be faster, but he couldn’t drive in this condition.

When he finally broke through the trees into city limits, he was coated in sweat and breathing heavily, but he still didn’t slow down. Luhan tried his best to avoid knocking people over on the sidewalk as he thought back to the way to your apartment from the bar. It was easy enough to find once he retraced his steps. He slammed his fist against the door hard, over and over again, not caring about your neighbors in the slightest.

You opened the door and Luhan shoved his way inside. Taking in your face, Luhan was able to calm down a few notches, at least enough to stop shaking and even out his breathing. Your eyes were red and tear stains were visible all over your cheeks. From where he stood, he could the disaster that was was your bedroom through the open door, paper strewn everywhere and the corkboard now broken in half.

Swallowing thickly, Luhan glared at you, feeling his own eyes prickling with growing tears. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

Unable to answer him verbally or even meet his eye, you nodded.

Luhan growled, low and elongated. “Why?”

“Because,” you whispered, your voice coming out unsteadily, “it was either that or let someone sadistic come and torture you. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“We can take care of ourselves!” he roared. “How was hurting Minseok the only way to stop that?”

No longer meek or afraid, you yelled back, “I was ordered to! It was maim one of you or risk more hunters showing up here and killing you! I didn’t have any other choice!”

“Then just lie and say you did it!”

“My father would find out! He always does!” You were gritting your teeth, water pooling in your eyes once again. “He’d bring more people here and just eradicate the pack! I don’t want you to die!”

Unable to find a response, Luhan just let out a yell, grabbing whatever was light and nearest him, throwing it across the room. You didn’t even flinch as the candle crashed against the floor.

“You know what I hate the most?” Luhan mumbled. “I want to hate you. I want to so badly. But I can’t.”

“That’s okay,” you told him softly. “Because I hate myself enough for the both of us.” It was your turn to yell wordlessly. “Why do I feel this way about you? I’m a hunter! You’re a wolf! I shouldn’t be feeling this way towards you! So why!”

“Because you’re my mate!”

Saying it out loud for the first time felt good. And it shouldn’t have. Not when it was in this situation, under these circumstances. But the confirmation made him feel lighter just by the slightest fraction.

“You’re supposed to say that I’m simply crazy.”

A laugh - freaking laugh - actually escaped Luhan. “I think we’re both crazy.”

You shook your head. “How long have you known? That I was a hunter?”

“Since that first night in the bar,” he admitted. Pointing to your wrist, he explained, “I saw your tattoo.”

You cursed. “Ametuer move.” After a pause, you asked, “Does anyone else know?”

“No. They don’t know about you at all, save that you’re Hae In’s cousin.” And for that, Luhan was grateful. Curious, he asked, “Does she know? Hae In?”

“No. She has no clue.”

He looked up at you, fearful of what could come next. “Will Minseok die? From whatever you poisoned him with?”

“As long as they get the book, from what we think, the cure should be in there. He still has several days before it’s gets too bad. I put the smallest dose possible on the arrow. I only meant to scrape him. If that happened, then he should be okay.” Out of nowhere, you began to sob, crumpling into yourself as you covered your face with your hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Pulling you into his chest, he rocked you back and forth. He shushed you gently as he cradled the back of your head. Comforting you like this felt strange, yet oddly right. He meant it when he said he wanted to hate you. The image of Minseok withering in pain on that table was burned in his memory. But you said he would be okay, so Luhan would trust you.

Then again, he’d done that once before.